Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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**********Main wharf, Dunedin Harbour, Dunedin, South Island, New Zealand, January 21, 1943*********** It has been months now since the apparent threat to New Zealand from a Jap invasion has abated. Dunedin has become a backwater. Aukland is busy in support of the American invasion of Fiji, but Dunedin is a forgotten outpost now. There are no search planes, no ships, no subs, not even a derelict minesweeper left over from WWI..nothing. In fact, the ANZAC band company that was shipped down here as an emergency infantry force has literally been forgotten. It seems someone in Aukland forgot to file a form 324/17A (Emergency Deployment of Musicians or Press Relations Troops out of Command Authority). Also forgotten (purposely it seems) is the tall American in a General's uniform with a very odd penchant for bolo bats and a birthmark in the shape of Corregidor on one of his butt cheeks (I forget which one). The tall American in the General's uniform is standing before the assembled band. It seems in their rush to war, they forgot all their sheet music and they really only know about 3 tunes cold, non of which suit the tall American. He is endeavoring to teach them a march by some guy named Suzy, or something like that. He, of course, has not the slightest understanding of music. Tall American in the General's uniform: No, no, NO! I have told you guys a dozen times, more emphasis on the fifth "duh", then the next one is a little bit lower, not quieter, but not as high, soundwise I mean. And you with the brass plates, can you do your thing on the tenth 'duh"? And you with the little flute, I need you to be a little higher, about 50%. 1st piccolo: Do you mean a fifth sir? Tall American in the General's uniform: No, I said 50%. Didn't you guys have to take any math in New Zealand? All right then! From the start. Watch my hand! <just then the woman who has been standing behind him gooses his muscular buttock with the little map of Corregidor..apparently, it's on the right. He raises his hand in surpise, then quickly grabs her hand. The band leaps into action then quickly tapers off in a cacophonous fashion, confused by his "instruction"> <He turns to her in a bit of a pique and whispers> Look, damnit, can't this wait? Aroused woman: Oh, come on Dougey, you promised. Tall American in the General's uniform: Oh Hell! OK, EVERYONE, TAKE 10......NO, MAKE IT 30...................
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