Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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********Burmese Python Wargame Summary Consensus Report Drafting Board, Results Sub-Committee, 1st Meeting, SEAC HQ, Rangoon, April 8, 1943 (three hrs into the meeting)*********** 1st Staffer: ...Right, let us turn our attention to paragraph 3-b, section C. The draft reads "It is our estimation that the the Japs can, with sufficient effort, land forces at either Tavoy or Moulmein, albeit at substantial risk to their naval forces." 2nd Staffer: What's wrong with that? I rather liked it. 1st Staffer: Yes, it is quite good...it's just that the colloquial "Japs" seemed a bit coarse. It IS going to Mountbatten. 2d Staffer: Good point sir. How about "little yellow bastards"? 1st Staffer: Not bad, Major, but I was thinking more along the lines of "the Empire of Japan". 2nd Staffer: Yes, I accept that modification, provided we make some modifications on the numeric estimates. 1st Staffer: Very well, please proceed. 2nd Staffer: Yes, thank you Mr. Chairman. Appendix XXIV, page 12, 3rd paragraph reads, "In the event of the intervention of the Royal Navy carriers early in the course of the battle, we estimate the loss or incapacitation of all carriers at 66.666666666", it goes on like that for at least 5 pages. 3rd Staffer: Yes, Sir, I believe I can take that. On 2 of 3 trials, all Royal Navy carriers were lost or left dead in the water after confronting the Little Yellow Bastard's carriers. That is merely the decimal calculation. My staff are still working on it. We are up to about 300 digits and still have no final solution. 2nd Staffer: Col., did you not deduce a pattern after the first..oh let's say....20 or so 6's? 3rd Staffer: Yes, quite odd. A "6" every time. 1st Staffer: More than odd. Irrational, I dare say. 2nd Staffer: PRECISELY, SIR! It IS irrational. I propose we simply round up at some point.....let's say 66.7%. 3rd Staffer: But it ISN'T 66.7%! Would you have us prevaricate? 1st Staffer: Absolutely NOT! I want this done today! There will be no prevarication. One should never put off till tomorrow what one can do today. 3rd Staffer: Mr. Chairman, I believe you mean "procrastinate" 1st Staffer: Colonel! This is no place for scatalogical or sexual word play. We are officers in the employ of the King. 2nd Staffer: Precisely! That is why we should not waste 20 pages of the King's paper by filling it with line after line of the number 6. Why, there will be no end to it. 3rd Staffer: Major, how can you be so sure that the 301st digit is not a 3, for example? 2nd Staffer: Don't you think it would have popped up by now? 3rd Staffer: Aha, but do you have proof? 2nd Staffer: Look, it's just the way it is. 3 does not go into 10 evenly. 3rd Staffer: "Ten", what does "ten" have to do with this? It's 2 into 3. 1st Staffer: Look, you both have good points. Suppose we publish the five pages and attach a footnote at the end of the 500th digit referring the reader to the Colonel's office for further information, if desired? Colonel, do you think your office can the 500 digits ready by this afternoon? 3rd Staffer: I have my best men on it Colonel. 1st Staffer: Splendid! I feel we are really starting to make a difference in the war effort now. This is, and well for us it is so, this is one area where the Japs, with their little Oriental brains cannot hope to compete. Now, I would like to take up the matter ot a tea break. may I have a proposal?....................
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/2/2009 8:39:11 PM >
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