allrocco
Posts: 1
Joined: 12/22/2008 Status: offline
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Madrid, July 1, 1806 "Oh what a party..., the food, the wine, the entertainment, the women...it must surely have been the best new year's eve party in history", the king exclaimed rubbing the sleep out of his eyes! "My king, you are awake." the king's first advisor Alfonso said waiting just outside the door to the sleeping chamber. "Of course, is it still snowing outside? I promised my children we would play in the snow today." Alfonso, obviously set back by the king's remark, with surprise in his voice said: "Snowing? But your majesty, it is in the middle of summer!" The king was out of his bed in a flash, running towards the big window in the sleeping chamber. "Well, indead it is...summer...what magic is this?...what has happened? Have I been ill, have I been asleep for half a year?...Alfonso, just don't stand there like a statue...speak to me!" "Your majasty, you haven't been ill at all...you have been running this country in the most exemplary way possible, leading us to a great victory against the British empire. But I have dire and urgent news for you sire. As of July 1st 1806 we are at war with Austria and Russia." "1806? Did you just say 1806 Alfonso?" The king's first advisor looked around the room and with great concern laid a hand on the king's shoulder. "My king, are you not feeling well today?" The king, raising his left eyebrow said "Feeling well....what nonsense are you talking about now Alfonso....I feel great....in fact, I feel as if I was the king of the world......but my last memory is of new year's eve 1804, where has my mind been in the meantime....am I going insane as my grand uncle?" Alfonso, now clearly set back by the king's most unusual conduct went to the bedside table and refilled the king's glass with wine. "Alfonso, what has happened in the last year and a half, what have I done? Tell me...and Alfonso, not a word of this conversation leaves this room or it will be your head on the block. Understood...?" Alfonso, walked back with the half-filled glass of wine and gave it to the king who stood gazing upon the countryside surrounding his summer castle in Cadiz. "Of course my king, I am here to serve you, and you only." After a few minutes of silence, Alfonso handed the king the dispatch from the foreign minister in Madrid. "What do you want me to do with these sire, should I give the foreign minister the reponsibility of drafting an appropriate response". The king, walking around in circles, clearly lost in his own thoughts suddenly looked up. "No Alfonso...this is a matter for me and me alone to deal with, I will give the under-educated peasants of eastern Europe a response which is appropriate considering the circumstances....Alfonso, send this out immediately to all the free and righteous countries in the world" "In an unprecedented act of aggression, the Russian and Austrian empires have attacked the peaceful and righteous kingdom of Spain. We, who want nothing more than to live in peace and raise our children, have been assaulted by blood thirsty and savage empires who crave money and manpower. Money and manpower which they will use to increase their already overfilled armies and fleets. Which sovereign country will be next? Who will stand with Spain in the hard times ahead of us?" "Marvelous, my king, just marvelous!!!" Alfonso exclaimed, eagerly writing it all down. "And Alfonso...send a message to the admiral of the fleet and the general of the army...I want all my forces to be readied to meet this savage attack....We, Spain must be the lighthouse of Europe in the barbaric, dark and sinister time ahead of us." Alfonso stopped writing and looked towards his king. "My king, that can take some time as our mighty armada is in Sweden". "What, in Sweden? All our ships?" The king exclaimed. "What idiot sent the armada to Sweden?" The first advisor, a bit embarrased carefully answered: "Well your majesty, it was you. As you hold great influence at the swedish court at this time." The King, obviously surprised by the response sat down in a chair, took a sip of his wine and said in a quiet voice. "You don't say...me of all the people in the world...well my influence at the swedish court obviously explains the Tsar's declaration of war. That moneyhungry, doubblecrossing, son-of-a bitch!!!!" After a few minutes of silence the king rose and walked quietly to the window again. His gaze setteling on a church in the nearby hillside. "Well Alfonso, you can send this message to the Tsar and the Austrian emperor: what goes around comes around....and you can put an exclamation mark at the end.....no, wait....put five exclamation marks at the end of it.....and send it with a ton of horse manure." "As, you wish my king...anything else before I get to work on my assignments" "No, Alfonso......well there is one thing you can do. I think it is time to invite our dear friend Napoleon to our summer estate. Could you send an invitation to the french emperor..., and please add some carts of our finest red wine! We have much to talk about." The first advisor immediately headed for the door, and as he carefully closed it, with pride in his eyes he said: "Your majesty, it is good to have you back!" The king, still looking outside the window at the small church spoke quietly to himself: "Well, well, well...if it is war they want, war they will get. What can they possible hope to take from me which I cannot take back at a time of my choosing. What short-thinking creatures am I facing in this puny war? Hmm...well, I believe I have more urgent matters to see to. I have apparently not seen my queen in a year and a half...."
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