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RE: Bernard Law - 1/19/2011 5:56:13 PM   
Dixie


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Joined: 3/10/2006
From: UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

It never has seemed to me that naming "warplanes" after ruminants was a good idea. It suggests a military procurement system gone awry. Surely there are enough raptors or something of that sort. Hell, even something like "Weasel" seems better.



There was an upgraded version of the Vincent planned for a short while. Luckily the RAF decided to go with a new design and chose the Wellesley over the Vickers Rodney. Naming aeroplanes after raptors and stuff isn't really all that interesting, you can give a cool name to anything but it just makes you look like you're trying too hard.
Naming your aircraft the Grumman Turbonutterdeadhardbastardwilldropbombsandkickyouinthetesticles is just trying too hard to make your aircraft seem like it's powerful.
The British way would be to provide an airman with the Hawker Pansy, having an aircraft named like that will encourage him to fight harder.


P.S. I've already trademarked the Pansy bomber (along with the peony ground attack fighter and handbag fighter).

_____________________________



Bigger boys stole my sig

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Post #: 3541
RE: Bernard Law - 1/19/2011 5:59:02 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Sign in today is "OTFEFE", which is Tannanese for "I am going to kill you, you damnable Shinto bastard" (roughly)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3542
RE: Bernard Law - 1/19/2011 6:42:16 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dixie


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

It never has seemed to me that naming "warplanes" after ruminants was a good idea. It suggests a military procurement system gone awry. Surely there are enough raptors or something of that sort. Hell, even something like "Weasel" seems better.



There was an upgraded version of the Vincent planned for a short while. Luckily the RAF decided to go with a new design and chose the Wellesley over the Vickers Rodney. Naming aeroplanes after raptors and stuff isn't really all that interesting, you can give a cool name to anything but it just makes you look like you're trying too hard.
Naming your aircraft the Grumman Turbonutterdeadhardbastardwilldropbombsandkickyouinthetesticles is just trying too hard to make your aircraft seem like it's powerful.
The British way would be to provide an airman with the Hawker Pansy, having an aircraft named like that will encourage him to fight harder.


P.S. I've already trademarked the Pansy bomber (along with the peony ground attack fighter and handbag fighter).


The Peony is not so bad, however, the Pansy pilots might well be subjected to severe teasing in the officer's club.

Still, the Luftwaffe had the Sprengbombe Dickwandig (butterfly bomb)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWsnfK-MeCE

(in reply to Dixie)
Post #: 3543
RE: Bernard Law - 1/19/2011 7:14:27 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		***************Forest trail, Tanna, New Hebrides, July 9, 1942************

Lt. Honda is wearing his Shinto ceromonial garments as he heads down the trail in wooden sandals. He takes cautious steps because the trail is wet and because the sandals are newly lacquered, having just been received from his doting mother. (Are y'all getting the picture yet?) As he passes by a coconut palm there is a flash of movment and a scream, "OTFEFE!". A brown arm grabs him across the forehead, displacing the goofy hat that looks like an oven mitt sewn into a cone. From the other side, a bayonet is thrust deeply into his neck. As the life drains from him, he falls on his back to the jungle floor. The face of a native man, painted white appears at the center of his fading vision. The mans smiles broadly and whispers, "Ensign McGoo".



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3544
RE: Bernard Law - 1/19/2011 8:12:21 PM   
Panther Bait


Posts: 654
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		At least the British realized that they should avoid launching an HMS Pansy, when they changed the name of Flower class K15 to the HMS Heartsease

They did keep HMS Periwinkle, HMS Peony, HMS Petunia, HMS Buttercup, HMS Gladiolus, HMS Atholl (say that 5 times fast), and HMS Crocus (not quite as bad as CINCUS)

Mike

_____________________________

When you shoot at a destroyer and miss, it's like hit'in a wildcat in the ass with a banjo.

Nathan Dogan, USS Gurnard

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3545
RE: Bernard Law - 1/19/2011 8:37:08 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Op Weasel now has 2 variants:

1. Op Otter. This is the sea borne version which would see 6th and 7th Aus Div, 2nd UK Div and 32nd US Div supported by 255th Arm Br land on the NW coast of OZ at Wyndham and Darwin and cut off the 5-ish Div of JJ troops at Katherine. East African Br can retake Port Headland or Broome as reqd.

2. Op Stoat is the land borne version. 6th and 7th Aus Div and 32nd US Div move up to Daly Waters and 32nd US Div move on to take Wyndham by land. If JJ reacts by movinf troops out of Katherine to retake Wyndham then 6th and 7th Divs move forward to retake Katherine.

Op Stoat is quicker to implement as all the troops required are now on Oz. 6th and 7th Divs are now unloading at Perth.

In both cases UK 18th Div will provide a secure base to fall back on if it all goes horribly pear-shaped.






Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Panther Bait)
Post #: 3546
RE: Bernard Law - 1/19/2011 8:40:35 PM   
moore4807


Posts: 1089
Joined: 6/2/2000
From: Punta Gorda FL
Status: offline 		Wow! I actually stoppped playing the game 4 days ago to read all 119 pages of this AAR... Yes my wife got curious to my sudden outbreaks of laughter, I revealed only non essential opsec facts and she quickly lost interest... This is awesome reading and I learned MUCH more about this game from reading this than I got from reading the manual... You can call me a fanboy, but thanks for the needed laughs and I'm going back to lurking here.




_____________________________


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Post #: 3547
RE: Bernard Law - 1/19/2011 8:44:13 PM   
Mynok


Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

July 8th 42

The forest of Sweet Osmanthus fell today.


Did anyone else have to look that up?



Did anyone not have to?

_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3548
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 12:00:27 AM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

July 8th 42

The forest of Sweet Osmanthus fell today.


Did anyone else have to look that up?



Did anyone not have to?


Yes......cause I dont care.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Mynok)
Post #: 3549
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 1:05:51 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

***************July 8, 1942**************


Fiji: Not much happened. The Oscars were quiet. Again, the danger of collisions between US Subs and Jap ships was largely avoided by careful seamanship. Again, a Vincent of No. 4 Sqdrn. spotted and, owing to a favorable tailwind, was able to close on a Jap sub off Nadi. A 1000 lb bomb was dropped from 5,000 ft and made a big white splash followed by an oil slick.

Casualties:

1,210 Anchovy*
17 Yellowtail
28 Flying Fish
1 Sea Turtle
2 Oceanic White Tips

A PT Boat flotilla ordered to investigate said the oil slick kinda smelled like ceasar salad.

Reinforcements arrived at Nadi where all artillery was ordered into a safety stand down. Allied forces at Suva sent about 1,000 WJD's to the Shinto shrine. The Tank Bn. attacking the Naval Guard unit in loin cloths on Northern Fiji suffered a freindly fire accident (losing 3 Stuarts). The Jap force is down to 3 guns with no troops . The losses probably represent ricochets?


SouthPac HQ (Nimitz in charge) is headed for Suva.


* I took the "e" out of "anchovey" but this doesn't look right either. Ah...screw it. I hate spelling.



Not keeping tabs on krill casualties?

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3550
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 1:07:30 AM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Panther Bait

At least the British realized that they should avoid launching an HMS Pansy, when they changed the name of Flower class K15 to the HMS Heartsease

They did keep HMS Periwinkle, HMS Peony, HMS Petunia, HMS Buttercup, HMS Gladiolus, HMS Atholl (say that 5 times fast), and HMS Crocus (not quite as bad as CINCUS)

Mike


The best one is still the Decoy.

Much encouragement value there.....

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Panther Bait)
Post #: 3551
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 1:18:38 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Op Weasel now has 2 variants:

1. Op Otter. This is the sea borne version which would see 6th and 7th Aus Div, 2nd UK Div and 32nd US Div supported by 255th Arm Br land on the NW coast of OZ at Wyndham and Darwin and cut off the 5-ish Div of JJ troops at Katherine. East African Br can retake Port Headland or Broome as reqd.

2. Op Stoat is the land borne version. 6th and 7th Aus Div and 32nd US Div move up to Daly Waters and 32nd US Div move on to take Wyndham by land. If JJ reacts by movinf troops out of Katherine to retake Wyndham then 6th and 7th Divs move forward to retake Katherine.

Op Stoat is quicker to implement as all the troops required are now on Oz. 6th and 7th Divs are now unloading at Perth.

In both cases UK 18th Div will provide a secure base to fall back on if it all goes horribly pear-shaped.



Stoat is certainly less risky (especially to the RN and USN) but it has a lower chance of trapping the wee Jap dobbers in my estimation. I think you will be making about 5-6 days per hex and, and there is a good chance of discovery before forces are joined, giving the WJD's to to reinforce Wyndham by sea. Additionally, if Wyndham is captured it will likely not have enough supply for a big air campaign and will not be able to be supplied overland, which means you might still have to run ships in. Also there would be a lag to get support troops in unless you bring them along with the 32nd ID. Any delay in getting ground support and air to Wyndham after it is captured means the Japs can shut down the airfield by air.

I do like the idea of using 32nd ID as some kind of overland reserve for exploitation if the Japs pull out of Katherine or perhaps to move down teh track to Wyndham in concert with the seaborne invasion (although a bit hard to time, I think). Armor would be good too.


PS...the walk from Alice to Daly takes a LONG time but, ideally, any troops landing by sea should be well prepped (>50%) so it would take 50 d or so to get 2nd Br Inf and East Africa Brig ready....ergo..... we are a ways out either way.


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/20/2011 1:22:44 AM >

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 3552
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 5:00:59 AM   
Alfred

 

Posts: 6685
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

***************July 8, 1942**************


Fiji: Not much happened. The Oscars were quiet. Again, the danger of collisions between US Subs and Jap ships was largely avoided by careful seamanship. Again, a Vincent of No. 4 Sqdrn. spotted and, owing to a favorable tailwind, was able to close on a Jap sub off Nadi. A 1000 lb bomb was dropped from 5,000 ft and made a big white splash followed by an oil slick.

Casualties:

1,210 Anchovy*
17 Yellowtail
28 Flying Fish
1 Sea Turtle
2 Oceanic White Tips

A PT Boat flotilla ordered to investigate said the oil slick kinda smelled like ceasar salad.

Reinforcements arrived at Nadi where all artillery was ordered into a safety stand down. Allied forces at Suva sent about 1,000 WJD's to the Shinto shrine. The Tank Bn. attacking the Naval Guard unit in loin cloths on Northern Fiji suffered a freindly fire accident (losing 3 Stuarts). The Jap force is down to 3 guns with no troops . The losses probably represent ricochets?


SouthPac HQ (Nimitz in charge) is headed for Suva.


* I took the "e" out of "anchovey" but this doesn't look right either. Ah...screw it. I hate spelling.



I'm rather partial to having anchoas on my pizza. Do all those casualties mean you are buying pizzas for your readers? Any chance of a beer to go with the pizza?

Alfred

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3553
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 8:35:31 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
quote:

Yes......cause I dont care.


That's the spirit!

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 3554
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 8:39:29 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
quote:

I'm going back to lurking here.


Post away, anything to alleviate the inane drivel that is mostly posted here. Mainly by me it has to be admitted.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to moore4807)
Post #: 3555
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 8:41:26 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
quote:

PS...the walk from Alice to Daly takes a LONG time but, ideally, any troops landing by sea should be well prepped (>50%) so it would take 50 d or so to get 2nd Br Inf and East Africa Brig ready....ergo..... we are a ways out either way.


Yes, about 50 days. So Stoat/Weasel/Otter should begin on or about 1st Sep 1942.

< Message edited by sprior -- 1/20/2011 8:42:34 AM >

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3556
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 8:46:15 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		How to set dive bombers in AE:

Mission: Bombing
A/c type: DB
(1) Group altitude: 10-15K
A/c are treated as if performing a diving attack
(2) Group altitude: 16-19K
A/c are treated as if performing a glide attack
(3) Group altitude: <1K
A/c are treated as if performing a low level attack
(4) Group altitude: 20+ or 1-9K
A/c are treated as if performing a normal horizontal attack
The attacks are based on altitude flown.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 3557
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 3:51:27 PM   
Mynok


Posts: 12108
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I'm thinking 9k is the height to set torpedo/dive bombers for airfield attacks so they will level bomb and not glide bomb into a hail of flak.

Why don't you test that for us?

_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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Post #: 3558
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 4:56:51 PM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, let's see what a hail of flak looks like

(in reply to Mynok)
Post #: 3559
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 5:12:36 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alfred


I'm rather partial to having anchoas on my pizza. Do all those casualties mean you are buying pizzas for your readers? Any chance of a beer to go with the pizza?

Alfred


Readers are free to transport themselves back in time 68 1/2 years, get themselves to Fiji, charter a boat and try to scoop up the slick of fish oil and anchovy guts about 40 mi. SW of Nadi. *





* Don't expect any air cover

(in reply to Alfred)
Post #: 3560
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 5:13:56 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


quote:

ORIGINAL: Panther Bait

At least the British realized that they should avoid launching an HMS Pansy, when they changed the name of Flower class K15 to the HMS Heartsease

They did keep HMS Periwinkle, HMS Peony, HMS Petunia, HMS Buttercup, HMS Gladiolus, HMS Atholl (say that 5 times fast), and HMS Crocus (not quite as bad as CINCUS)

Mike


The best one is still the Decoy.

Much encouragement value there.....


I am partial to the USS Pyro, an ammunition ship.

USS Queerbarge is pretty funny too.

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 3561
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 5:34:01 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


Not keeping tabs on krill casualties?



The management enforces a strict no crustracean policy. Any person(s) known to have brought crustaceans onto the premises will be subject to a $500 fine or 2 months in jail (or both if you have a really crappy lawyer)

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)
Post #: 3562
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 5:42:23 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		This reminds me of the time I went to see a newborn at the hospital and there was a question if the mother might have had scabies. They put the poor woman in a laminar flow isolation room with a big yellow and red sign on the door that read:

ARTHROPOD PRECAUTIONS

Any visiting arthropods were required to pass through a metal detector and get a pat down by hospital security.

I didn't think she really had scabies so I humanely let her keep her baby. What a guy, eh?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3563
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 5:48:07 PM   
Kwik E Mart


Posts: 2447
Joined: 7/22/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Yes, let's see what a hail of flak looks like


are we talking golf ball sized? or smaller?

_____________________________

Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Ron Swanson: Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

(in reply to BrucePowers)
Post #: 3564
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 5:50:58 PM   
Kwik E Mart


Posts: 2447
Joined: 7/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

This reminds me of the time I went to see a newborn at the hospital and there was a question if the mother might have had scabies. They put the poor woman in a laminar flow isolation room with a big yellow and red sign on the door that read:

ARTHROPOD PRECAUTIONS

Any visiting arthropods were required to pass through a metal detector and get a pat down by hospital security.

I didn't think she really had scabies so I humanely let her keep her baby. What a guy, eh?


ok, i'll bite...why the metal detector?

_____________________________

Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Ron Swanson: Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3565
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 6:13:01 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kwik E Mart


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

This reminds me of the time I went to see a newborn at the hospital and there was a question if the mother might have had scabies. They put the poor woman in a laminar flow isolation room with a big yellow and red sign on the door that read:

ARTHROPOD PRECAUTIONS

Any visiting arthropods were required to pass through a metal detector and get a pat down by hospital security.

I didn't think she really had scabies so I humanely let her keep her baby. What a guy, eh?


ok, i'll bite...why the metal detector?


We have a problem with Cholo Arthropods around here.

(in reply to Kwik E Mart)
Post #: 3566
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 6:22:57 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		This reminds me of another funny thing (at least to me).

The French get a delicious deep fried potato named after them.

The Mexicans get a cool Hat Dance and a bean that jumps

The Irish get an expensive whiskey

but the Norwegians get a rat and a particularly nasty skin infestation named after them (Norwegian Scabies)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3567
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 8:21:38 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Or:

The French get a missive named after them
The Spanish get a windlass named after them
The Dutch get faux bravery named after them

Don't ask what a capot anglais is.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3568
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 9:32:59 PM   
stuman


Posts: 3907
Joined: 9/14/2008
From: Elvis' Hometown
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

This reminds me of the time I went to see a newborn at the hospital and there was a question if the mother might have had scabies. They put the poor woman in a laminar flow isolation room with a big yellow and red sign on the door that read:

ARTHROPOD PRECAUTIONS

Any visiting arthropods were required to pass through a metal detector and get a pat down by hospital security.

I didn't think she really had scabies so I humanely let her keep her baby. What a guy, eh?


No one ever expects the Arthropods !

< Message edited by stuman -- 1/20/2011 9:59:41 PM >

_____________________________

" Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room. " President Muffley


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3569
RE: Bernard Law - 1/20/2011 9:38:14 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior
Don't ask what a capot anglais is.



I would say the Anglophones got even with "French tickler"

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 3570
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