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RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/20/2011 6:19:18 PM   
Grollub


Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/9/2005
From: Lulea, Sweden
Status: offline 		Why not tell the merchant captain that there will be a three part (secret) conference between him, Captain Ito-san and some lawyer from D, C & H at those coordinates?

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Post #: 4021
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/20/2011 6:21:02 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		As to this question of brestesses being used as a weapon, I have seen it with my own eyes.

I went to another Super Bowl party at the Sands (long after the Rat Pack days but before it closed). It was a cool party with Dick Butkus (and others) to sign autographs, then they had the guy who sang "Ferry cross the Mersey"...I forget his name...that was kind of lame..everyone was thinking "don't you have any half naked girls or something?"

Well, it turned out they had that covered. Mud wrestling. They introduce two 20 something girls with Dow Corning enhanced bosoms wearing only bikini bottoms. Then the ref brings out their male competitor, some guy (I think he was one of the guests at the party or someboy's nephew) wearing a speedo. By round two the girls have pretty much worked this guy over and the ref had to call the match because of swelling and it wasn't around his eye either.

It was quite a scene. I half expected Caligula to be introduced. I think the game was boring but I can't remember.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 2/20/2011 6:34:33 PM >

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Post #: 4022
Across the Mersey - 2/20/2011 6:56:51 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Meanwhile, on the same side of the Mersey, but still a long way away, JJ went after Suva again with at least half a dozen Zero sweeps.

The P-39's and Marine F4F's did well, even though one full squadron fo F4F's was resting.

No Jap CV's reported at Noumea today but the recon F4's couldn't reach because supply dropped at Nadi and we ran out of drop tanks. The CV's might have made a break for it, but they are likely vulnerable to sub attack. Ground forces at Nadi restarted bombardment attacks but the Japs there are still tough.

The transports will return to Suva in about 2 d. This time they will have 2 CA's with them for security.

HMS Formidable has been dispatched to a spot SE of Tonga to pick up one of the VMF squadrons at Suva. CA's and DD's with their refits completed are ordered back to Wellington from Auckland to form up with Wasp and Illustrious for the journey to Perth.




Attachment (1)

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Post #: 4023
RE: Across the Mersey - 2/20/2011 6:58:22 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Grollub

Why not tell the merchant captain that there will be a three part (secret) conference between him, Captain Ito-san and some lawyer from D, C & H at those coordinates?


Ito-san would do it if there is "Gord" involved.

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Post #: 4024
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/20/2011 11:33:32 PM   
Mynok


Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline
quote:

"Welcome to His majesty's service son, your gear will include binoculars, an airplane identification chart, a big ass radio AND a brand new Mae West vest and 3 canisters of shark repellent."



You forgot Depends.


< Message edited by Mynok -- 2/20/2011 11:34:05 PM >

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Post #: 4025
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/21/2011 3:24:52 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok

quote:

"Welcome to His majesty's service son, your gear will include binoculars, an airplane identification chart, a big ass radio AND a brand new Mae West vest and 3 canisters of shark repellent."



You forgot Depends.



Are they even invented yet? Maybe there is an adult diaper grognard in the crowd that can help us out.

(in reply to Mynok)
Post #: 4026
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/21/2011 3:59:35 AM   
moore4807


Posts: 1089
Joined: 6/2/2000
From: Punta Gorda FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok

quote:

"Welcome to His majesty's service son, your gear will include binoculars, an airplane identification chart, a big ass radio AND a brand new Mae West vest and 3 canisters of shark repellent."



You forgot Depends.



Are they even invented yet? Maybe there is an adult diaper grognard in the crowd that can help us out.



I CERTAINLY wasn't around then but didn't they have Dydee delivery n' pickup back then?

I think an AKL would be need to be detailed for it - but certainly necessary!

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Post #: 4027
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/21/2011 5:57:34 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: moore4807


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok

quote:

"Welcome to His majesty's service son, your gear will include binoculars, an airplane identification chart, a big ass radio AND a brand new Mae West vest and 3 canisters of shark repellent."



You forgot Depends.



Are they even invented yet? Maybe there is an adult diaper grognard in the crowd that can help us out.



I CERTAINLY wasn't around then but didn't they have Dydee delivery n' pickup back then?

I think an AKL would be need to be detailed for it - but certainly necessary!


As I recall, Dydee was a truck-based delivery service so that is a no-go for 400 nm out in the Indian Ocean.

How about issuing each sailor TWO adult diapers (and 3 each for the Captain and exec), one for when the Vals start screaming down from 10,000 ft when you are making 4 kts and the second for when the Oceanic White Tips show up?

That seems like a small price to pay. Look at all the cruisers I lost trying to hold New Scotland, I mean, how much do those things cost?

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Post #: 4028
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/21/2011 6:17:38 PM   
Grollub


Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/9/2005
From: Lulea, Sweden
Status: offline 		... or you could do a dry-run of the new (tentative) Perth - Diego Garcia passenger ferry. Just to check out there aren't any hidden reefs en route or so?

Edited: Grammar.

< Message edited by Grollub -- 2/21/2011 6:38:36 PM >

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Post #: 4029
Freemantle to Bali - 2/21/2011 10:35:00 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		..




Attachment (1)

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Post #: 4030
What he said - 2/22/2011 2:23:53 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Cap'n / Admiral Lord Sprior:

I'm taking the liberty of resetting your subject line in the AAR, as I believe it may represent a breach in your OPSEC.

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Post #: 4031
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/22/2011 3:14:13 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		***********Tanjang Benoa, Bali, July 23, 1942************


A continuous stream of Little Yellow Bastard infantry descends a gangplank onto the dock, in doubletime.

LYB Officer: HURRY! ENEMY COMING!



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Post #: 4032
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/22/2011 3:20:26 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		So I am coming out of the grocery store and am approached by eager little Girl Scouts selling cookies. I actually like the Thin Mints but the guy at the DMV already made me increase my weight on my driver's license and, even if I exercise self control, Stalker Girl will eat them...and..they are so eager I don't want to just say no...so I find myself saying, "No thanks sweetheart I still have thin mints in the freezer." It worked.


I am going to Hell right?

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Post #: 4033
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/22/2011 3:41:02 PM   
Alfred

 

Posts: 6685
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		No. Just buy an indulgence. That is what they were for.

Alfred

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4034
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/22/2011 3:45:51 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alfred

No. Just buy an indulgence. That is what they were for.

Alfred


So I have to buy an indulgence because I turned down an indulgence? It all seems very complicated. Why do I have the feeling that just buying the Thin Mints and giving them to a fake homeless guy on the freeway offramp would have been cheaper?

(in reply to Alfred)
Post #: 4035
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/22/2011 3:53:38 PM   
Alfred

 

Posts: 6685
Joined: 9/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alfred

No. Just buy an indulgence. That is what they were for.

Alfred


So I have to buy an indulgence because I turned down an indulgence? It all seems very complicated. Why do I have the feeling that just buying the Thin Mints and giving them to a fake homeless guy on the freeway offramp would have been cheaper?


Perhaps cheaper in this secular material world. But as I am certain your mayan housekeeper would point out, nothing is too expensive if it avoids that place. Besides which, I rather suspect the indulgence can be claimed as a tax write off, you know a necessary expense incurred in the normal course of your work. Don't think the homeless guy would give you a receipt to show the IRS.

Alfred

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4036
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/22/2011 4:05:06 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am coming out of the grocery store and am approached by eager little Girl Scouts selling cookies. I actually like the Thin Mints but the guy at the DMV already made me increase my weight on my driver's license and, even if I exercise self control, Stalker Girl will eat them...and..they are so eager I don't want to just say no...so I find myself saying, "No thanks sweetheart I still have thin mints in the freezer." It worked.


I am going to Hell right?


No. You are going to a room with no exits where the only thing to eat is girl scout cookies. And no matter how hard you try you will never, ever be able to get off the wrapper because you cut your fingernails too short and you can't get a firm grip with your teeth.

There's a place where people go. A place where cookies have their revenge. A place called The Twilight Zone.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4037
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/22/2011 4:10:53 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		OK <crosses self>. You talked me into it. Do I need a second indulgence for saying the homeless guy was fake?


By ra way, everyone knows what the sign of the cross is but what does it mean when when you do the sign of the cross and then adjust your package?



It means you are a Cubano, Dominicano or Puertorriqueno and you are batting .228 and you need a hit really badly because you have free agency at the end of the season.

If you look up toward Heaven first, then make the sign of the cross and then spit it pretty much means you are facing Roger Clemens and you just want to see your mistress one more time.

(in reply to Alfred)
Post #: 4038
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/22/2011 10:13:43 PM   
perkinh


Posts: 181
Joined: 2/7/2010
From: Central, NC
Status: offline 		Nolan Ryan would kick Clemens #$@$! Then charge the dugout looking for Pedro.

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One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine.... is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine

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Post #: 4039
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/22/2011 10:26:30 PM   
anarchyintheuk

 

Posts: 3921
Joined: 5/5/2004
From: Dallas
Status: offline 		The image of him punching Robin Ventura is pretty much imprinted on my brain. I don't think it replaced anything important up there.

(in reply to perkinh)
Post #: 4040
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/23/2011 12:48:56 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		July 22nd 1942

Looks like we ound more of JJ's troops:

Ground combat at Nookanbah (66,130)

Allied Deliberate attack

Attacking force 539 troops, 0 guns, 36 vehicles, Assault Value = 13

Defending force 7935 troops, 71 guns, 16 vehicles, Assault Value = 291

Allied adjusted assault: 0

Japanese adjusted defense: 312

Allied assault odds: 1 to 99 (fort level 1)

Combat modifiers
Defender: preparation(-), experience(-)
Attacker: disruption(-), supply(-)

Japanese ground losses:
15 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled


Allied ground losses:
45 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 12 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled


Assaulting units:
2/9th Armoured Regiment

Defending units:
148th Infantry Regiment
5th Amphibious Brigade

_____________________________

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"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



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Post #: 4041
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/23/2011 5:37:52 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*************A Squadron 2/9th Armoured Regt., near Nookanbah, July 22, 1942***********


Amid the noise of idling Stuarts, a Sargeant walks along the line of tanks.


Sgt: Right...we push off in 5 minutes...who wants Kool-Aide? <he holds up a container of Prime Minister Curtain brand Koo-Aide>

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Post #: 4042
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/23/2011 6:20:36 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Question: When the adjusted combat strength is 0 vs 312 shouldn't the assault odds be 1 to INFINITY ?

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Post #: 4043
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/23/2011 6:29:47 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Question: When the adjusted combat strength is 0 vs 312 shouldn't the assault odds be 1 to INFINITY ?

They round up to infinity on an asymptotic curve. 1:312 is very close to 1:64 or 1:128. 1:infinity is the next stop.

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Post #: 4044
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/23/2011 6:36:27 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline 		When they report "1 to 99" they mean 1 to the 99th power of infinity.

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 4045
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/23/2011 6:38:53 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Question: When the adjusted combat strength is 0 vs 312 shouldn't the assault odds be 1 to INFINITY ?

They round up to infinity on an asymptotic curve. 1:312 is very close to 1:64 or 1:128. 1:infinity is the next stop.


What exactly do you have to roll to get "D ELIM" on a 1 to Infinity attack?



< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 2/23/2011 6:52:45 PM >

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 4046
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/23/2011 6:43:43 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

When they report "1 to 99" they mean 1 to the 99th power of infinity.

Wouldn't that be 1^US Budget Deficit?

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Post #: 4047
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/23/2011 6:45:25 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Question: When the adjusted combat strength is 0 vs 312 shouldn't the assault odds be 1 to INFINITY ?

They round up to infinity on an asymptotic curve. 1:312 is very close to 1:64 or 1:128. 1:infinity is the next stop.


What exactly do you have to roll to get "D ELIM" on a 1 to Infinity attack?


First off, all "die" in this die roll need to stand on end, not on a registered 'face'. Then an ethereal hand comes down from the clouds in a booming voice, exclaiming "Hmmm...craps again."

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Post #: 4048
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/23/2011 6:45:40 PM   
Grollub


Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/9/2005
From: Lulea, Sweden
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Question: When the adjusted combat strength is 0 vs 312 shouldn't the assault odds be 1 to INFINITY ?

They round up to infinity on an asymptotic curve. 1:312 is very close to 1:64 or 1:128. 1:infinity is the next stop.


What exactly do you have to roll to get "D ELIM" on a 1 to Infinity attack?


Exactly a "1" on a die with infinite number of sides.

_____________________________

“Not mastering metaphores is like cooking pasta when the train is delayed"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4049
RE: Hearts and Minds - 2/23/2011 6:53:58 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		OK, I found it in the rule book, (54) XII/A/2

"The worst combat odds you can get are 1 to infinity. This is seriously ****ty and you would be well advised not to try unless you have some crappy little understrength reserve unit that you don't need and are trying to use the "reccon by suicide attack" exploit. In that case, the AI will virtually roll two Rhombicosidodecahedra. If you are lucky enough to get double 64, ("hyper-boxcars") the defending units will be eliminated. I know this sounds really good but quite likely your opponent will throw a tantrum at the "unhistorical" result and will pout for weeks and might even quit."

(in reply to Grollub)
Post #: 4050
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