Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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************22 Bar(r)ack St., Perth, Sept. 23, 1942********** <A man in fine linen slacks enjoys a Cuban cigar outside of a busy establishment. Music and the sounds of all manner of mirth-making emerge from the door and it swings open and closed. A shorter man approaches on Bar(r)ack St., up from the harbo(u)r. He wears civies and a Yankee cap pulled down hard over his forehead. At last, he glances up toward the man with the cigar. The look on the taller man's face changes from a "master of the universe" confidence to one of astonishment.> Man in fine linen slacks: JESUS HOWARD CHRIST! Ito-san, you crazy son of a bitch, what are you DOING here? <He drops his cigar and hustles the shorter man down the alley> Ito-san: Herro Miro. Ito have coupon. Ito rike mai tai drink. Ito rike Tahitian womans. Man in fine linen slacks: Santa Maria, Ito-san. I got Shore Patrol in there. There is a war on you crazy SOB. If they find you in civies they will hang you and ask questions later. Ito-san: Ito not afraid. Ito Japanese officer. Man in fine linen slacks: Yes, I would say that is the crux of the problem. Ito-san: Ito have coupon. Man in fine linen slacks: FORGET THE STUPID COUPON, MAN! Where did you even get it? Ito-san: Mistah Hata. Man in fine linen slacks: "Mista Hata"? In Broome you mean? How the Hell did you get down here in one day? Ito-san: Turns take rearry rong. Easy get here. Man in fine linen slacks: You've been taking to Yossarian too much. Look, you crazy SOB, forget the coupon. It's expired anyway. I'll have Idi bring down a half-dozen thermoses of mai tai's. On the house. Where is your boat? Ito-san: Rottnest Isrand. Man in fine linen slacks: Ito, you crazy SOB there is a battery down there. Do you realize the risk you took? Ito-san: Ito Japanese officer. Umbreras? Man in fine linen slacks: "Umbreras"? Ito-san: Yes, parasors. Man in fine linen slacks: Oh, you mean umbrellas? Ito-san: Yes, that what Ito say. Man in fine linen slacks: All right, you can have a goodamn umbrella for the drink. Ito-san: Fifty seven. Man in fine linen slacks: Fifty seven what? Ito-san: Fifty seven umbreras for crew. Man in fine linen slacks: OK, OK, fifty seven goddamn "umbreras" so your crew can have fifty seven goddamn mai tais on goddamn Rottnest Isrand right under the guns of the goddamned Royal Austrailan Navy. Ito-san: What about womans? Man in fine linen slacks: Look, Ito, don't push it. Ito-san: But Ito rike Tahitian womans. Man in fine linen slacks: Look, Ito, they aren't really Tahitian. They're from Tanna. Ito-san: Tanna womans have big bottoms and rittle breasts. It say Bari Hai Crub. Man in fine linen slacks: So sue me! Now stay over here until Idi comes out with the drinks you crazy SOB........
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/30/2011 5:34:33 PM >
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