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RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/19/2011 8:36:49 PM   
jeffk3510


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_____________________________

Life is tough. The sooner you realize that, the easier it will be.

Currently chasing three kids around the Midwest.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4981
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/19/2011 9:53:24 PM   
crsutton


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Much more manly to use a Boys Rifle.



Boyish to use a Boys Rifle. Manly to use a Boyes Rifle.


Training film for the Boys ATR. Made by Disney, no less...

http://youtu.be/ov4lOcD7O5c

_____________________________

I am the Holy Roman Emperor and am above grammar.

Sigismund of Luxemburg

(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 4982
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/20/2011 3:48:52 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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******M&M Enterprises Day Laborer Hiring Center, Port Headland, Sept. 21, 1942*****



Japanese Engineering Officer: <steps out of small truck> I need twerve strong workers.

Chap from Jalisco: Doce? <starts counting out those to be on crew> Ocho dolares! <holds up 8 fingers to signify hourly rate>

Japanese Engineering Officer: EIGHT DORARS! You crazy! Japan officer get Koreans.

Chap from Jalisco: Amigo, joo no got no Koreans. Dat why joo here. Amigo, los bey-diez y sietes, dey come back. <smiles confidently, revealing a gold tooth. He tucks his thumbs under his ranchero belt buckle.>.............

(in reply to crsutton)
Post #: 4983
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/20/2011 4:58:54 PM   
Chickenboy


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From: San Antonio, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: crsutton


quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Much more manly to use a Boys Rifle.



Boyish to use a Boys Rifle. Manly to use a Boyes Rifle.


Training film for the Boys ATR. Made by Disney, no less...

http://youtu.be/ov4lOcD7O5c

Excellent find, sir. Most interesting.

_____________________________


(in reply to crsutton)
Post #: 4984
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/21/2011 3:40:52 AM   
Alfred

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

******M&M Enterprises Day Laborer Hiring Center, Port Headland, Sept. 21, 1942*****



Japanese Engineering Officer: <steps out of small truck> I need twerve strong workers.

Chap from Jalisco: Doce? <starts counting out those to be on crew> Ocho dolares! <holds up 8 fingers to signify hourly rate>

Japanese Engineering Officer: EIGHT DORARS! You crazy! Japan officer get Koreans.

Chap from Jalisco: Amigo, joo no got no Koreans. Dat why joo here. Amigo, los bey-diez y sietes, dey come back. <smiles confidently, revealing a gold tooth. He tucks his thumbs under his ranchero belt buckle.>.............


Broome used to be a major pearling port. At the turn of the twentieth century Japanese "heritage" divers formed a major part of the pearling workforce. Could the Japanese Engineering Officer not make some inquiries there to see if he could tap into any residual nostalgia for the land of the cherry blosoms?

Alfred

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4985
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/21/2011 4:16:11 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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**************Northern limits Cable Beach, Broome Australia, Sept 22, 1942********


<the silhouette of a submarine can just be seen offshore in the nearly moonless night. A small raft approaches>

IJN Officer (sort of): I Captain Ito. Eagle fry at midnight.

Mr. Hata, Esq.: <Standing on shore> Wound my heart with a monotonous langour, mate. James Hata, Esq., M&M Enterprises, Temp Workers Division <extends hand>

IJN Officer (sort of): Nice beach.

Mr. Hata, Esq.: Cable Beach, mate. Mi mum used to pearl dive here......Salties took her.

IJN Officer (sort of): Sarties?

Mr. Hata, Esq.: Crocodiles. Big nasty 18 footer. Even took her last dive's worth of pearls.

IJN Officer (sort of): Ito sorry.

Mr. Hata, Esq.: No worries, mate. That's why I went into the law. It was either that or gardening because I won't go back in the water.

IJN Officer (sort of): You have gord?

Mr. Hata, Esq.: 22 oz troy, Government of Philippines <hands over bar> Tell Mr. Minderbinder if he could start the attacks on Broome I could easily double this. I have a whole crew from Morelia just doing yard work. And please have him send a couple of cases of TapaTio next time. These guys go through it like water.


(in reply to Alfred)
Post #: 4986
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/21/2011 4:33:25 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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***********Sept 22, 1942************

Oz: More air battles over PH. Half the P-38's took on the whole Tojo CAP with equal losses on both sides (6-8 airframes). This was painful but the heavies were largely unmolested and a big raid of Forts from Geraldton and B-24's from Marakesh arrived simultaneously and destroyed some Mavi on the ground. Runway damage is up to about 35%. This is not enough, of course. A planned raid over Broome from Alice did not go in. I think JJ is cycling in new fighters from Wyndham. More of the same today. 5 replacment P-38's taken at Marakesh.

Hawaii: After months of repair in SF, PoW took two torps from a sub off Lahaina trying to refuel. She will have to go to Pearl and kick out one of the old girls out of drydock.

SouPac: Two new regiments arraived at Nadi. I will attack there in a day or two. I am hatching a plan to take back Norfolk Is. to shorten my shipping routes and make some noise. It looks like New Scotland is devoid of Jap aircraft.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4987
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/21/2011 4:59:25 PM   
witpqs


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quote:

Even took her last dive's worth of pearls.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4988
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/23/2011 5:04:23 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Sign in today was "VAGJOY". I am not making this up. It sounds like some kind of home entertainment product that would involve batteries. Either that or it is a golf bag designed to be marketed at the Dinah Shores Classic. There is no doubt now that the sign-in code words are not just the random combinations of vowels and diphthongs assembled by some kind of Sign-in Bot. I think the Matrix boys are making these up.


Funny thing happened on the homestead last night. I went to sleep early but Stalker Girl stayed up to edify herself by watching Real Housewives of Hoboken. When it was over, she came upstairs but I was "snoring real bad" (as she put it). Now, to begin, I don't accept the use of negative language to describe snoring. Truly epic snoring, when achieved, is nothing to be ashamed of. I view it as a sort of transcendental state that can only be achieved with years of practice and many racks of baby back ribs, french fries...yada, yada, yada. Anyway, she decides to divert to my older daughter's old room (who lives in LA now). She hops in, plein air you might say, and falls asleep. What she doesn't know is I have picked up the Mayan and that is the room where she sleeps when she stays over.

Did I mention there are no working lamps in the room? Anyway, after a time, the Mayan gets done doing whatever Mayans do before they go to bed and she hops into the small double bed.

"AJ SENORA!?!"

"AY SAVINA!?"



Stalker Girl relinquished and came back in my room and pulled off the covers violently and woke me up.

"Thanks pal..you didn't tell me Savina was here."


As to the war...oh yes...Port Headland had bad weather and there was no raid. One B-24 in the raid over Broome was shot down by the CAP of 7 Tojos there (or from AAA). Minor damamge to the runway should keep the crew from Morelia busy for a few hours and make Mr. Hata happy.

(in reply to jeffk3510)
Post #: 4989
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/23/2011 5:29:40 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Another funny story my brother told me on the fishing trip. It seems he took his son and nephews and my nephew's friend out to dinner on New Year's Eve at a Chinese restaurant. They ordered a Peking (Beijing) duck and tried to order drinks. The problem is the youngsters were under 21 and they didnt have enough fake ID's to go around. The waiter cards everyone in halting Engrish but when he gets to Carlos (my nephew's friend) he has no fake ID so, on the spot, he decides to make up a fake language and begins to answer in gibberish. Within seconds, the other guests catch on to the gag and pretend to translate what Carlos is saying to the waiter in Engrish. Much confusion ensues but Carlos keeps it up. Finally, in frustration the waiter holds up an ID and points to Carlos. It appears he is finally finished. Looks like it will be Diet Coke for him. Just then, the wait staff delivers the whole roast duck with much fanfare. In an inspired act of extemporaneous brilliance, Carlos stands up and pretends to bless the duck in his gibberish language. Everyone at the table bows their heads in respect (just as well as they are all barely able to keep from laughing at this poiint). There is lots of waving of hands and beseaching of the heavens. The wait staff take two steps back and bow their heads in deference. They seem awed to have a patron express such respect for the bird. Just when the bressing seems to be over and the wait staff begin to cautiously step forward he launches into another round. Finally the waiter either relents on the ID or forgets and Carlos gets his Tsingdao.

I am not sure yet whether Carlos has helped his ecclesiastical ranking.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4990
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/23/2011 5:32:13 PM   
Alfred

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


As to the war...oh yes...Port Headland had bad weather and there was no raid. One B-24 in the raid over Broome was shot down by the CAP of 7 Tojos there (or from AAA). Minor damamge to the runway should keep the crew from Morelia busy for a few hours and make Mr. Hata happy.


Which reminds me, just last week there was a colourful discussion as to whether hourly rates or phase rates are used in AE.

I reckon that your well known position with regard to reading the manual should not be a bar to you knowing the answer; after all we are talking about the very sinews of capitalism here, a subject well mastered by all employees and stockholders of M&M Enterprises.

Taking this a step further, are they on wages or salary? Or are they all individual contractors? Any standard entitlements, say annual holiday leave, health insurance etc?

Alfred

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4991
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/23/2011 8:13:59 PM   
Mynok


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quote:

I am not sure yet whether Carlos has helped his ecclesiastical ranking.


If by "ecclesiastical ranking" you mean "hustler rep", I'm sure it skyrocketed.

_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

(in reply to Alfred)
Post #: 4992
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/23/2011 9:49:02 PM   
Lecivius


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Man, I have GOT to quit coming to this thread.  I was laughing so hard I had real tears!  My boss comes over to look over my shoulder, reads a bit, & slaps me upside the head.  All I could do was slide outta my chair to the floor laughing so hard I could not breath. 

The whole office was looking at me!

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4993
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/24/2011 10:28:01 AM   
Itdepends

 

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Hey Captain- you're damn lucky the Mayan said Senora and not Senor- or Stalker girl might have made sure you didn't wake up

(in reply to Lecivius)
Post #: 4994
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/24/2011 3:08:45 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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**********LYB HQ, Port Headland, Sept. 23, 1942********


Col. Saito: <looking over financial ledgers> Maj. Fukushima, Is there no way to control expenditures? These expenses have quintupled.

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Hai! <snaps to attention> Major approached by Mr. Hata to convert from a frat monthly mainenence contract to an hourry rate. Mr. Hata say it save Japans money.

Col. Saito: I see. So you canceled the flat rate contract?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Hai!

Col. Saito: And what day was that, Major?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Rast Sunday, sir.

Col. Saito: Major, do you recall what day the American air offensive began?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Hai! Monday, sir.

Col. Saito: Yes, Monday. And what inference do you draw from that Major?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Mr. Hata very, rucky, sir.

Col. Saito: Lucky? You think he is lucky?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Hai!

Col. Saito: Major, do you imagine Japan will win this war?

Maj. Fukushima, Commander of engineers for Northwestern Australia: Hai! Major sure Japans win.

Col. Saito: <clicks on SONY intercom> Sargeant, draft a letter to my broker. Tell him I want to liquidate my position in Mitsubishi Heavy Industries and move into gold right away. <unclicks intercom> Now, Major, tell me about this bill....1,100 yen for something called TapaTio?

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/24/2011 3:21:10 PM >

(in reply to jeffk3510)
Post #: 4995
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/24/2011 10:37:31 PM   
Chickenboy


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Major Fukushima will be getting some time in the 'hotbox', that's for sure...Only this time, Alec Guiness won't be on hand to bail him out.

_____________________________


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Post #: 4996
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/25/2011 1:18:08 AM   
CaptDave

 

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From: Federal Way, WA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Major Fukushima will be getting some time in the 'hotbox', that's for sure...Only this time, Alec Guiness won't be on hand to bail him out.


Somehow, the "cooler" and Bob Crane seem to be a more appropriate picture!

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 4997
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/25/2011 4:16:52 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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No turn yet from the crafty LYB's. They are probably fueling and arming every vessel and airplane for the fight in Oz. Meanwhile, in the hood.....

What does the father of the youngest winner of the French Open do when Frau Braun gets after him for dead grass?

He gets out there with a frickin' rake and mixes it up with the Morelia boys. The poor guy knows nothing about plants. He, call him Mr. Ching, told me he was tired of the water bills. I have no doubt. Some months if I irrigate more, I can reach the 7th tier of water company billing Hell. He has a gigantic place on like 6 or 7 acres (although most isn't irrigated). I can't even imagine what tier he is on. He should have sunk a well when he was getting the big fat stream of money from his son. Even his wife was out there with this ridiciulous 3 foot wide hat standing right over the shoulder of the poor guy from Morelia putting in new sprinkler heads. She kept telling him, "No highah, highah". I half expected to see her in the bushes with a trenching shovel buried in her forehead when I got home.

I told him about the lantana I put in and the troubles I had with Frau Braun and to be careful with her because she is a class A ******. I don't think he got the Berchtesgaden reference.

(in reply to jeffk3510)
Post #: 4998
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/25/2011 5:10:16 PM   
witpqs


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From: Argleton
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Take heart. The chances of La Nina returning this autumn and winter have increased significantly, meaning less rain.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4999
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/26/2011 8:48:15 PM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
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Actually the turn is with me but I'm back at work this evening so it won't be done tonight either

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 5000
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/27/2011 1:45:17 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Actually the turn is with me but I'm back at work this evening so it won't be done tonight either


See...there you have it. You go away for a few days and all the work just piles up.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5001
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/29/2011 12:41:38 PM   
sprior


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Life back on even keel.

Troops for Port Hedland embarking. 2nd UK Div, 22nd East African Brigade and 7th RAN Base unit boarding. When loading is complete the TF will stand out to sea whilst troops for Broome embark.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5002
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/29/2011 3:42:29 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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From: Southern California
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Admiral Lord Sprior
Supreme Grand Poobah All Things Brown;


Splendid to hear that you got that nasty sink drain cleaned out at Kandy House and the Operation Stoat/Weasel/Ferret/Mink/Capyburra is on!

Will the Port Headland and Broome landings be concurrent? I am going to send over some PBY's from New Zealand to help in recon. There are LB-30's standing by in Australia for employemnt in the long-range naval search role when PH or Broome are seized. I have ordered the USN submarine squadron at Townsville to push forward and patrol the approaches through the Sundas.

Good Hunting!

Admiral of the Fleet Mandrake
Cheerleader in Chief of the Green Jobs


P.S. We have just received a large number of 2 for 1 drink coupons to an establishment called the "Bali Hai Dance Club" in Perth. Am forwarding some. It might help improve morale for the follow-on troops, though we do seem to have a breach in operational security.






< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/29/2011 3:45:57 PM >

(in reply to jeffk3510)
Post #: 5003
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/29/2011 4:00:58 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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..




Attachment (1)

(in reply to jeffk3510)
Post #: 5004
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/30/2011 5:32:17 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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************22 Bar(r)ack St., Perth, Sept. 23, 1942**********

<A man in fine linen slacks enjoys a Cuban cigar outside of a busy establishment. Music and the sounds of all manner of mirth-making emerge from the door and it swings open and closed. A shorter man approaches on Bar(r)ack St., up from the harbo(u)r. He wears civies and a Yankee cap pulled down hard over his forehead. At last, he glances up toward the man with the cigar. The look on the taller man's face changes from a "master of the universe" confidence to one of astonishment.>

Man in fine linen slacks: JESUS HOWARD CHRIST! Ito-san, you crazy son of a bitch, what are you DOING here? <He drops his cigar and hustles the shorter man down the alley>

Ito-san: Herro Miro. Ito have coupon. Ito rike mai tai drink. Ito rike Tahitian womans.

Man in fine linen slacks: Santa Maria, Ito-san. I got Shore Patrol in there. There is a war on you crazy SOB. If they find you in civies they will hang you and ask questions later.

Ito-san: Ito not afraid. Ito Japanese officer.

Man in fine linen slacks: Yes, I would say that is the crux of the problem.

Ito-san: Ito have coupon.

Man in fine linen slacks: FORGET THE STUPID COUPON, MAN! Where did you even get it?

Ito-san: Mistah Hata.

Man in fine linen slacks: "Mista Hata"? In Broome you mean? How the Hell did you get down here in one day?

Ito-san: Turns take rearry rong. Easy get here.

Man in fine linen slacks: You've been taking to Yossarian too much. Look, you crazy SOB, forget the coupon. It's expired anyway. I'll have Idi bring down a half-dozen thermoses of mai tai's. On the house. Where is your boat?

Ito-san: Rottnest Isrand.

Man in fine linen slacks: Ito, you crazy SOB there is a battery down there. Do you realize the risk you took?

Ito-san: Ito Japanese officer. Umbreras?

Man in fine linen slacks: "Umbreras"?

Ito-san: Yes, parasors.

Man in fine linen slacks: Oh, you mean umbrellas?

Ito-san: Yes, that what Ito say.

Man in fine linen slacks: All right, you can have a goodamn umbrella for the drink.

Ito-san: Fifty seven.

Man in fine linen slacks: Fifty seven what?

Ito-san: Fifty seven umbreras for crew.

Man in fine linen slacks: OK, OK, fifty seven goddamn "umbreras" so your crew can have fifty seven goddamn mai tais on goddamn Rottnest Isrand right under the guns of the goddamned Royal Austrailan Navy.

Ito-san: What about womans?

Man in fine linen slacks: Look, Ito, don't push it.

Ito-san: But Ito rike Tahitian womans.

Man in fine linen slacks: Look, Ito, they aren't really Tahitian. They're from Tanna.

Ito-san: Tanna womans have big bottoms and rittle breasts. It say Bari Hai Crub.

Man in fine linen slacks: So sue me! Now stay over here until Idi comes out with the drinks you crazy SOB........


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/30/2011 5:34:33 PM >

(in reply to jeffk3510)
Post #: 5005
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/31/2011 9:05:27 PM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
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Sargeant MacNutt: Privare Widdle, where did you get that helmet?
Private Widdle: Found it on the trail sarge, right before we got to Kal..
Sargeant MacNutt: Kalemyo you ignorant Private. Now, give me that helmet it's not regulation.
Private Widdle: Sarge, don't you know you shouldn't take the pith?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5006
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/31/2011 9:15:33 PM   
Kapitanma

 

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I really shouldn't browse this AAR during class, it gets me everytime.   That said, I don't think Ito has much to fear from a few Australian rowboats. 

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5007
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 8/31/2011 9:37:02 PM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
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Australian 6th and 7th Divs along with supporting troops embark for Broome.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Kapitanma)
Post #: 5008
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 9/1/2011 2:19:20 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Australian 6th and 7th Divs along with supporting troops embark for Broome.


Ah, splendid! Then it is to be a double date, Port Headland AND Broome!


****************Sept. 23, 1942****************


Oz: A B-24 raid on Broome finds Bettys on the ground. The fighters are gone from Broome . JJ is getting ready for us. One B-24 is lost to operational causes and one Betty is destroyed on the ground. Port Headland is socked in by Hurrican Ilene (pronounced "Irene" by the LYB's). No attack there. Runway damage said to be 52% at PH and 17% at Broome. The B-24's from Marakesh will attack Broome today.

SouPac: Looks like JJ are getting troops out of New Scotland and have stripped the airfields in New Scotland and Tanna and Espirtu Santo. I might be able to sneak in a cruiser group. Two regiments for Norfolk Is will start boarding in two days. Big attack at Nadi today.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5009
RE: Lost opportunities.... - 9/1/2011 7:20:51 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
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From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
Over in Burma JJs 4 Guards Div is till closing in on Kalemyo (shades of Austen Powers and his roller) but an armoured Brigade beats them to it. Transports from the Hump diverted to fly supplies into the Burmese Redoubt.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5010
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