Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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Speaking of "going postal", I hope they don't close the Postal Service down because a letter carrier pretty much saved my life yesterday. I was finishing off planing down the pepper tree yesterday and had to get to a branch about 15 feet up. There wasn't really a good stable place to rest the ladder so I decided to hook it over a stub of a branch that have been truncated. I remember thinking to myself, "maybe I should get some help....nah". Well, I have to say the plan worked pretty well until the branch I was cutting off fell away, which unweighted the main branch, which then, gravity being what it is, shifted and the ladder tilted to the downhill side. So I am standing up there holding on to the branch to stabilize the ladder and everything is OK so long as I dont try to climb down. "What a dumb ass", I say to myself then I shake off the temporary insanity and start looking around for solutions. I can hold onto the branch and try to drop down but my disability insurance doesnt kick in for 3 months. I look for my cell phone...no luck. I look around the neighborhood. There is a real estate agent about 400 ft away taking down his signs..but that is it. Then I hear the mail van which sounds like it is going to drop its tranny. The guy pulls up about 15 feet away from me but I am WAY above him so I can just see his legsn and one arm in the truck. "Yo, Mr. mailman." He stops sorting mail like he has heard me. "YO MR. MAILMAN!" Now he is really trying to figure out what is going on. "I'M OVER HERE. UP HERE IN THE TREE! I NEED YOUR HELP!" He sets the brake and gets out. He is really a short Asian fellow in his alte 50's with a pretty bad limp. I wondered if he might even be Ito with a war wound. "Oh sorry not see you" "You up in tree" "Yes, that is precisely the problem. I am up in the tree. Could you please go around the corner to get my wife, Stalker Girl, and tell her I need help." He nods his assent, gets back in the truck and drives 200 ft around the corner. It seems like I am up there forever. I imagine the inernational space station passing over 2 or 3 times. Meanwhile, he goes up to the door and Stalker Girl answers. He says, "Your father need you, hurry. He up in tree." Finally, Stalker Girl comes around the corner, "Where are you?" I'm up here. On the Goddamn ladder. What are you doing up there? What does it look like? "Do you realize the steaks are burning?" I am up the ladder holding on with one hand and being scolded because the ******* steaks are burning. I should have had Ito help. "**** the steaks. I need two people to hold the ladder so I can get down." Finally, she comes back with Stalker Girl Jr. and I am saved. I never got to thank the letter carrier.
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