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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/28/2011 7:47:22 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Jackspeak makes it to the BBC:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_9600000/9600625.stm

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to BrucePowers)
Post #: 5341
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/28/2011 1:56:28 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Proctoheliosis/helioproctosis - a condition where people believe the sun shines from their backsides



Properly, I think it should be Proctoheliosis

Helioproctosis is something you can get from frequenting gay bars.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/28/2011 2:31:15 PM >

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5342
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/28/2011 1:58:44 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		"pickle jar officer" (a university graduate who can tell you the square root of a pickle-jar lid to three decimal places but cannot get the blooming thing off)


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5343
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/28/2011 1:59:21 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		buckets of sunshine (nuclear weapons)


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5344
Advice needed - 9/28/2011 3:55:07 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		The neighbors two driveways up (not the one with the $10,000 mailbox on my property but the one who chased a bobcat down his driveway with an ax yelling "mountain lion, mountain lion, LOOKOUT!"..that guy) are getting on my nerves.

EVERY day they have a painter or landscape crew out there doing something and they have a narrow frontage on the street so the crews park in front of my place. This lady takes better care of her plants than I do of my kids and the painter does faux antiqueing. He is fantatstic at what he does but I can't imagine what there is left to paint. He has been working for at LEAST 5 years. Maybe they are burying bodies back there or something. Without a doubt, somebody has a too much money. Must be a cash business with double books or some such thing. My insurance agent told me when their fire sprinklers went of (without a fire) State Farm had to pay $500K to repair the woodwork and such.

So here is the question. When I turn on the sprinklers on purpose when the crews are getting out of the truck am I going to Hell? I can do it remotely. I have done it about 8 times and every time they laugh like schoolgirls but park in the same place the next day. Perhaps I need a more energetic strategy?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5345
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/28/2011 3:58:28 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Proctoheliosis/helioproctosis - a condition where people believe the sun shines from their backsides



Properly, I think it should be Proctoheliosis

Helioproctosis is something you can get from frequenting gay bars.

Proctoheliosis or Proctoheliasis? Wouldn't Helioproctitis be something from frequenting those places?

Get it? Pathologists' humor...

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5346
RE: Advice needed - 9/28/2011 3:59:36 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The neighbors two driveways up (not the one with the $10,000 mailbox on my property but the one who chased a bobcat down his driveway with an ax yelling "mountain lion, mountain lion, LOOKOUT!"..that guy) are getting on my nerves.

EVERY day they have a painter or landscape crew out there doing something and they have a narrow frontage on the street so the crews park in front of my place. This lady takes better care of her plants than I do of my kids and the painter does faux antiqueing. He is fantatstic at what he does but I can't imagine what there is left to paint. He has been working for at LEAST 5 years. Maybe they are burying bodies back there or something. Without a doubt, somebody has a too much money. Must be a cash business with double books or some such thing. My insurance agent told me when their fire sprinklers went of (without a fire) State Farm had to pay $500K to repair the woodwork and such.

So here is the question. When I turn on the sprinklers on purpose when the crews are getting out of the truck am I going to Hell? I can do it remotely. I have done it about 8 times and every time they laugh like schoolgirls but park in the same place the next day. Perhaps I need a more energetic strategy?


Can you fill your water lines with paint thinner? When they see what happens with their truck's paint job, they'll not be twittering so gaily.


_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5347
RE: Advice needed - 9/28/2011 5:04:00 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

EVERY day they have a painter or landscape crew out there doing something and they have a narrow frontage on the street so the crews park in front of my place. This lady takes better care of her plants than I do of my kids and the painter does faux antiqueing. He is fantatstic at what he does but I can't imagine what there is left to paint. He has been working for at LEAST 5 years. Maybe they are burying bodies back there or something. Without a doubt, somebody has a too much money. Must be a cash business with double books or some such thing. My insurance agent told me when their fire sprinklers went of (without a fire) State Farm had to pay $500K to repair the woodwork and such.



So I take it they are over when he is at work but she is at home?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5348
RE: Advice needed - 9/28/2011 5:34:16 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

EVERY day they have a painter or landscape crew out there doing something and they have a narrow frontage on the street so the crews park in front of my place. This lady takes better care of her plants than I do of my kids and the painter does faux antiqueing. He is fantatstic at what he does but I can't imagine what there is left to paint. He has been working for at LEAST 5 years. Maybe they are burying bodies back there or something. Without a doubt, somebody has a too much money. Must be a cash business with double books or some such thing. My insurance agent told me when their fire sprinklers went of (without a fire) State Farm had to pay $500K to repair the woodwork and such.



So I take it they are over when he is at work but she is at home?


I didn't even think of that. Today there are THREE gardeners. Apparently the painter got the day off.

(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 5349
RE: Advice needed - 9/28/2011 8:16:26 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		So, Cap'n...has someone set you up the bomb? To whom do all your bases belong?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fvTxv46ano


_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5350
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 12:01:19 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		I am able to say with a high level of confidence that all there bases are belong to us not.


We are trying to fix this problem. Perhaps even Port Headland base will fall next turn. Still no turn back. If there had a catastrophe which had befallen Allied forces this turn I am pretty sure we would have a gushing email back by now.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5351
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 1:21:44 AM   
Mynok


Posts: 12108
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Dye pellets in the sprinkler heads?

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"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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Post #: 5352
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 2:16:36 AM   
zuluhour


Posts: 5244
Joined: 1/20/2011
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		Can you get one of those little cherub things that "squirt", you know the little boys ya see in fountains?

(in reply to Mynok)
Post #: 5353
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 2:45:21 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Frau Goosteppen of the HOA would not think well of such a 'water feature', I venture.

_____________________________


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Post #: 5354
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 3:17:21 AM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe the guys over in the geezer thread can help......

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 5355
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 6:23:40 AM   
Mynok


Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline
Geezers don't fountain. They trickle. Don't think that helps.


_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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Post #: 5356
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 7:02:53 AM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well that's true

(in reply to Mynok)
Post #: 5357
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 4:12:41 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Quite a good day for the good guys.

96 Netty sorties over PH and not a hit. Most are coming from Koepang I think as they are unescorted.

Nevada lives

Royal Sovereign lives.







Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/29/2011 4:13:21 PM >

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5358
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 4:38:06 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Quite a good day for the good guys.

96 Netty sorties over PH and not a hit. Most are coming from Koepang I think as they are unescorted.


Ouch...nicely done. Allied dogs.

quote:


Royal Sovereign lives.

Alright, you want to go double or nothing on that $5 you owe me for the carrier bet?

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5359
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:21:53 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
quote:

Most are coming from Koepang


Not so many going back though.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5360
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:23:35 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
quote:

Allied dogs.





Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 5361
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:30:02 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

Allied dogs.






Awww.....a Yap dog

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5362
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:38:29 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

Admiral Lord Sprior
Supreme Allied Commander Operation Weasel
& Acting Director Human Resources

My Dearest Spri;

Splendid show so far. We have sent the USN repalcement SBD squadron to Meekathara. The F4F replacement squadron has moved to Alice Springs and should make Meekathara tomorrow. Another F4F squadron is bound for Australia aboard Long Island. A SouPac B-25 squadron has also arrived in Alice Springs and a B-26 squadron should arrive Australia tomorrow.

What do you think about detailing one of the surface groups at Port Headland to escort the carriers?

With Much Apparently Sincere Warmth;

Admiral of the Fleet Mandrake

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5363
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:43:04 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Adm of the Fleet Mandrake,
Honourary Crab and Chockhead Extraordinaire

My Dearest Manders,

I hear what you're saying and I shall certainly take it under advisement.

Time for tiffin.

With much conditional cordiality,

Admiral Lord Sprior, VD, Scab, Scar and Bar

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5364
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:44:19 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		So I am driving to work today listening to National People's Radio and they are doing this story on an apparent "rash" of violence against transgender "women" in Washington, DC.

The reporter introduces her story with..."I am here on Dick St in Washinton which is frequented by transgender women in the DC area."


(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5365
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 6:44:43 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		I hope there's not a bus line there. Could you imagine asking the bus driver for recommendations on where along the street to exit the bus?

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(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5366
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 7:57:59 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Adm of the Fleet Mandrake,
Honourary Crab and Chockhead Extraordinaire



Whew! Good thing you put that second "h" in there.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5367
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 8:03:56 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		******************October 9, 07:20, Suva Airfield*****************


Adm. Halsey: How come my airplanes aren't flying?

XO: It's the Japs sir. All formal enemy opposition on Fiji has ceased. I took the liberty of authorizing a swim day.

Adm. Halsey: Swim day? Well, unauthorize it, Goddamn it!. Attack some damn informal Japs then. I don't care what they are wearing. Diapers, dress whites, don't matter to me. The taxpayers are paying for this crap. USE IT!


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/29/2011 8:07:09 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5368
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 9:53:53 PM   
jeffk3510


Posts: 4132
Joined: 12/3/2007
From: Kansas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am driving to work today listening to National People's Radio and they are doing this story on an apparent "rash" of violence against transgender "women" in Washington, DC.

The reporter introduces her story with..."I am here on Dick St in Washinton which is frequented by transgender women in the DC area."




My in-laws are big NPR fans.. good stuff on that station. I love Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

_____________________________

Life is tough. The sooner you realize that, the easier it will be.

Currently chasing three kids around the Midwest.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5369
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/30/2011 4:43:07 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Made it through another day with no torpedo hits, 9 Bastard Netties (BNs from now on) didn't fly home.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to jeffk3510)
Post #: 5370
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