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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/28/2011 7:47:22 AM   
sprior


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Jackspeak makes it to the BBC:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_9600000/9600625.stm

_____________________________

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"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/28/2011 1:56:28 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Proctoheliosis/helioproctosis - a condition where people believe the sun shines from their backsides



Properly, I think it should be Proctoheliosis

Helioproctosis is something you can get from frequenting gay bars.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/28/2011 2:31:15 PM >

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5342
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/28/2011 1:58:44 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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"pickle jar officer" (a university graduate who can tell you the square root of a pickle-jar lid to three decimal places but cannot get the blooming thing off)


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Post #: 5343
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/28/2011 1:59:21 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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buckets of sunshine (nuclear weapons)


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Post #: 5344
Advice needed - 9/28/2011 3:55:07 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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The neighbors two driveways up (not the one with the $10,000 mailbox on my property but the one who chased a bobcat down his driveway with an ax yelling "mountain lion, mountain lion, LOOKOUT!"..that guy) are getting on my nerves.

EVERY day they have a painter or landscape crew out there doing something and they have a narrow frontage on the street so the crews park in front of my place. This lady takes better care of her plants than I do of my kids and the painter does faux antiqueing. He is fantatstic at what he does but I can't imagine what there is left to paint. He has been working for at LEAST 5 years. Maybe they are burying bodies back there or something. Without a doubt, somebody has a too much money. Must be a cash business with double books or some such thing. My insurance agent told me when their fire sprinklers went of (without a fire) State Farm had to pay $500K to repair the woodwork and such.

So here is the question. When I turn on the sprinklers on purpose when the crews are getting out of the truck am I going to Hell? I can do it remotely. I have done it about 8 times and every time they laugh like schoolgirls but park in the same place the next day. Perhaps I need a more energetic strategy?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5345
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/28/2011 3:58:28 PM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Proctoheliosis/helioproctosis - a condition where people believe the sun shines from their backsides



Properly, I think it should be Proctoheliosis

Helioproctosis is something you can get from frequenting gay bars.

Proctoheliosis or Proctoheliasis? Wouldn't Helioproctitis be something from frequenting those places?

Get it? Pathologists' humor...

_____________________________


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Post #: 5346
RE: Advice needed - 9/28/2011 3:59:36 PM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The neighbors two driveways up (not the one with the $10,000 mailbox on my property but the one who chased a bobcat down his driveway with an ax yelling "mountain lion, mountain lion, LOOKOUT!"..that guy) are getting on my nerves.

EVERY day they have a painter or landscape crew out there doing something and they have a narrow frontage on the street so the crews park in front of my place. This lady takes better care of her plants than I do of my kids and the painter does faux antiqueing. He is fantatstic at what he does but I can't imagine what there is left to paint. He has been working for at LEAST 5 years. Maybe they are burying bodies back there or something. Without a doubt, somebody has a too much money. Must be a cash business with double books or some such thing. My insurance agent told me when their fire sprinklers went of (without a fire) State Farm had to pay $500K to repair the woodwork and such.

So here is the question. When I turn on the sprinklers on purpose when the crews are getting out of the truck am I going to Hell? I can do it remotely. I have done it about 8 times and every time they laugh like schoolgirls but park in the same place the next day. Perhaps I need a more energetic strategy?


Can you fill your water lines with paint thinner? When they see what happens with their truck's paint job, they'll not be twittering so gaily.


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Post #: 5347
RE: Advice needed - 9/28/2011 5:04:00 PM   
witpqs


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

EVERY day they have a painter or landscape crew out there doing something and they have a narrow frontage on the street so the crews park in front of my place. This lady takes better care of her plants than I do of my kids and the painter does faux antiqueing. He is fantatstic at what he does but I can't imagine what there is left to paint. He has been working for at LEAST 5 years. Maybe they are burying bodies back there or something. Without a doubt, somebody has a too much money. Must be a cash business with double books or some such thing. My insurance agent told me when their fire sprinklers went of (without a fire) State Farm had to pay $500K to repair the woodwork and such.



So I take it they are over when he is at work but she is at home?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5348
RE: Advice needed - 9/28/2011 5:34:16 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

EVERY day they have a painter or landscape crew out there doing something and they have a narrow frontage on the street so the crews park in front of my place. This lady takes better care of her plants than I do of my kids and the painter does faux antiqueing. He is fantatstic at what he does but I can't imagine what there is left to paint. He has been working for at LEAST 5 years. Maybe they are burying bodies back there or something. Without a doubt, somebody has a too much money. Must be a cash business with double books or some such thing. My insurance agent told me when their fire sprinklers went of (without a fire) State Farm had to pay $500K to repair the woodwork and such.



So I take it they are over when he is at work but she is at home?


I didn't even think of that. Today there are THREE gardeners. Apparently the painter got the day off.

(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 5349
RE: Advice needed - 9/28/2011 8:16:26 PM   
Chickenboy


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So, Cap'n...has someone set you up the bomb? To whom do all your bases belong?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fvTxv46ano


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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 12:01:19 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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I am able to say with a high level of confidence that all there bases are belong to us not.


We are trying to fix this problem. Perhaps even Port Headland base will fall next turn. Still no turn back. If there had a catastrophe which had befallen Allied forces this turn I am pretty sure we would have a gushing email back by now.

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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 1:21:44 AM   
Mynok


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Dye pellets in the sprinkler heads?

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"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 2:16:36 AM   
zuluhour


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Can you get one of those little cherub things that "squirt", you know the little boys ya see in fountains?

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Post #: 5353
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 2:45:21 AM   
Chickenboy


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Frau Goosteppen of the HOA would not think well of such a 'water feature', I venture.

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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 3:17:21 AM   
BrucePowers


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Maybe the guys over in the geezer thread can help......

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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 6:23:40 AM   
Mynok


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Geezers don't fountain. They trickle. Don't think that helps.


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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 7:02:53 AM   
BrucePowers


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Well that's true

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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 4:12:41 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Quite a good day for the good guys.

96 Netty sorties over PH and not a hit. Most are coming from Koepang I think as they are unescorted.

Nevada lives

Royal Sovereign lives.







Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/29/2011 4:13:21 PM >

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Post #: 5358
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 4:38:06 PM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Quite a good day for the good guys.

96 Netty sorties over PH and not a hit. Most are coming from Koepang I think as they are unescorted.


Ouch...nicely done. Allied dogs.

quote:


Royal Sovereign lives.

Alright, you want to go double or nothing on that $5 you owe me for the carrier bet?

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Post #: 5359
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:21:53 PM   
sprior


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quote:

Most are coming from Koepang


Not so many going back though.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5360
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:23:35 PM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
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quote:

Allied dogs.





Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 5361
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:30:02 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

Allied dogs.






Awww.....a Yap dog

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Post #: 5362
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:38:29 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

Admiral Lord Sprior
Supreme Allied Commander Operation Weasel
& Acting Director Human Resources

My Dearest Spri;

Splendid show so far. We have sent the USN repalcement SBD squadron to Meekathara. The F4F replacement squadron has moved to Alice Springs and should make Meekathara tomorrow. Another F4F squadron is bound for Australia aboard Long Island. A SouPac B-25 squadron has also arrived in Alice Springs and a B-26 squadron should arrive Australia tomorrow.

What do you think about detailing one of the surface groups at Port Headland to escort the carriers?

With Much Apparently Sincere Warmth;

Admiral of the Fleet Mandrake

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 5363
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:43:04 PM   
sprior


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Adm of the Fleet Mandrake,
Honourary Crab and Chockhead Extraordinaire

My Dearest Manders,

I hear what you're saying and I shall certainly take it under advisement.

Time for tiffin.

With much conditional cordiality,

Admiral Lord Sprior, VD, Scab, Scar and Bar

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5364
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 5:44:19 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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So I am driving to work today listening to National People's Radio and they are doing this story on an apparent "rash" of violence against transgender "women" in Washington, DC.

The reporter introduces her story with..."I am here on Dick St in Washinton which is frequented by transgender women in the DC area."


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Post #: 5365
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 6:44:43 PM   
Chickenboy


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I hope there's not a bus line there. Could you imagine asking the bus driver for recommendations on where along the street to exit the bus?

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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 7:57:59 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Adm of the Fleet Mandrake,
Honourary Crab and Chockhead Extraordinaire



Whew! Good thing you put that second "h" in there.

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Post #: 5367
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 8:03:56 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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******************October 9, 07:20, Suva Airfield*****************


Adm. Halsey: How come my airplanes aren't flying?

XO: It's the Japs sir. All formal enemy opposition on Fiji has ceased. I took the liberty of authorizing a swim day.

Adm. Halsey: Swim day? Well, unauthorize it, Goddamn it!. Attack some damn informal Japs then. I don't care what they are wearing. Diapers, dress whites, don't matter to me. The taxpayers are paying for this crap. USE IT!


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/29/2011 8:07:09 PM >

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RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/29/2011 9:53:53 PM   
jeffk3510


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I am driving to work today listening to National People's Radio and they are doing this story on an apparent "rash" of violence against transgender "women" in Washington, DC.

The reporter introduces her story with..."I am here on Dick St in Washinton which is frequented by transgender women in the DC area."




My in-laws are big NPR fans.. good stuff on that station. I love Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

_____________________________

Life is tough. The sooner you realize that, the easier it will be.

Currently chasing three kids around the Midwest.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 5369
RE: Aboard HMS Royal Sovereign - 9/30/2011 4:43:07 PM   
sprior


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Made it through another day with no torpedo hits, 9 Bastard Netties (BNs from now on) didn't fly home.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



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Post #: 5370
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