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RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/8/2012 10:46:42 PM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

there is something to be said for being able to order out for pizza.

Especially if you've been treated to food prepared by RN cooks.

So every meal is not a banquet?

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to sprior)

Post #: 8401

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/8/2012 11:26:04 PM

witpqs

Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...I get it. It was my niece that added her as a freind. Santa Maria! That was crose one.

Good one! Now you have a cover story.

"No Honey, I went to Hooters because my niece's friend needs a letter of reference for college."

...

"Humanitarian? Yeah, that's it, Honey. Humanitarian!"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 8402

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/9/2012 5:14:55 AM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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Pen and watercolor picture of HMS Warspite I did a while back (in WWII(a), I think). An imagined night battle around Soerabaja. Beautiful ship. I think I lost the full size original. Too bad.

Alas she is no longer with us in WWII(c)

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/9/2012 5:17:22 AM >

(in reply to sprior)

Post #: 8403

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/9/2012 5:37:08 AM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...I get it. It was my niece that added her as a freind. Santa Maria! That was crose one.

Good one! Now you have a cover story.

"No Honey, I went to Hooters because my niece's friend needs a letter of reference for college."

...

"Humanitarian? Yeah, that's it, Honey. Humanitarian!"

The picture that accompanies the notification is quite impressive. Maybe she needs an employment physical...err..never mind.

This reminds me of a story. I may have told it before but the dementia is getting a bit denser so I am not really sure.

I was supposed to play in this golf tournament and drinking weekend with my brothers alcohol-swilling friends. I had to no-show but my next younger brother shows up late for the golf so he takes my badge which says "Dr. Mandrake". He grabs a golf cart, a six pack and heads off to catch up. When he gets to the 9th hole there is food (sort of) and a really attractive stripper in a bikini. He is not exactly timid so in a bout 20 seconds he is talking to the stripper and after a few seconds of small talk he complements her ample bosom.

Stripper: Are you a doctor?

Mandrake Sib: Why yes, I'm a plastic surgeon.

Stripper: Oh, do you know Dr Zzyzzx? He did my surgery.

Mandrake Sib: Yes, of course, he's in my call group. What approach did he use?

Stripper: He put them in through my arm pits. <she raises he arm and shows a tiny scar>

Mandrake Sib: Fantastic! I must complement him. Do you mind if I examine you?

Stripper: Sure, Dr. Mandrake! < she flips up her bikini top to reveal a gravity defying pair>

Mandrake Sib: <at this point even he is taken aback but he plays through and begins "examining"> ummmhmmm, yes, very nice. No scarring. Great outcome.

<Finally, one of the other golfers and announces loudly>

"Mandrake, you liar, you are an architect."

The young lady flips her top down and slaps the living crap out of him......

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/9/2012 5:39:09 AM >

(in reply to witpqs)

Post #: 8404

Why, why, why, Delilah? - 7/9/2012 2:27:24 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
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Went to a restaurant/bar in Dana Point and there was this little short guy (about 5 3 in his boots) with an Elvis hair cut. He had a karaoke machine and he would sing Elvis, Neil Dimamond, Johnny Cash and Tom Jones and such. The guy must have had 20-30 groupies there...65+ women. I couldn't drink because I was on call for the second GD weekend in a row. Of course, nobody else felt obligated to abstain.

So he gets to "Why, why, why, Delilah" and the groupies go wild. He's shaking his bootie and we he gets to the chorus part he sings "Why, why, why Delilah?" and all the groupies shout back in the next bar (musical bar) "You whore, you slut, you skank!"

Then he sings "Why, why, why Delilah" again and they do the back up vocals again. Funny as Hell.

So here is the question. Do all Tom Jones impersonators get this when they do that song?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 8405

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/9/2012 2:58:50 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline

Up through the Moluccas. There are 3 big JJ airbases of concern now that Ambon and Sorong are reduced. In there Northern Moluccas there is Davao to worry about (on Mindanao).

Kendari can be reached from Saumlaki with all the heavies and even B-25's. Manado can be reached from Saumlaki with B-24's and B-17E's with reduced bomb load. Boela would extend the range even further.

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/9/2012 3:04:14 PM >

(in reply to sprior)

Post #: 8406

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/9/2012 6:40:02 PM

Onime No Kyo

Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...I get it. It was my niece that added her as a freind. Santa Maria! That was crose one.

Good one! Now you have a cover story.

"No Honey, I went to Hooters because my niece's friend needs a letter of reference for college."

...

"Humanitarian? Yeah, that's it, Honey. Humanitarian!"

The picture that accompanies the notification is quite impressive. Maybe she needs an employment physical...err..never mind.

This reminds me of a story. I may have told it before but the dementia is getting a bit denser so I am not really sure.

I was supposed to play in this golf tournament and drinking weekend with my brothers alcohol-swilling friends. I had to no-show but my next younger brother shows up late for the golf so he takes my badge which says "Dr. Mandrake". He grabs a golf cart, a six pack and heads off to catch up. When he gets to the 9th hole there is food (sort of) and a really attractive stripper in a bikini. He is not exactly timid so in a bout 20 seconds he is talking to the stripper and after a few seconds of small talk he complements her ample bosom.

Stripper: Are you a doctor?

Mandrake Sib: Why yes, I'm a plastic surgeon.

Stripper: Oh, do you know Dr Zzyzzx? He did my surgery.

Mandrake Sib: Yes, of course, he's in my call group. What approach did he use?

Stripper: He put them in through my arm pits. <she raises he arm and shows a tiny scar>

Mandrake Sib: Fantastic! I must complement him. Do you mind if I examine you?

Stripper: Sure, Dr. Mandrake! < she flips up her bikini top to reveal a gravity defying pair>

Mandrake Sib: <at this point even he is taken aback but he plays through and begins "examining"> ummmhmmm, yes, very nice. No scarring. Great outcome.

<Finally, one of the other golfers and announces loudly>

"Mandrake, you liar, you are an architect."

The young lady flips her top down and slaps the living crap out of him......

He needs better friends.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 8407

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/9/2012 6:48:48 PM

Argos

Posts: 130
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From: Bozeman, MT
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The friends were probably bitter they didn't get asked in for a consult...

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 8408

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/9/2012 11:12:20 PM

desicat

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At Army Air Corps Fighter Command a Full Bird Colonel was sweating profusely as he looked over the grease board displaying the recent damage his forces had inflicted on the Japanese air bases.

A jumpy Major assigned to Intelligence was briefing the Colonel, the Colonel was worried.

Colonel; "Both airfields wrecked? That is Sorong!"

The Major looked down, not sure if the Colonel was serious. "But Sir, isn't that what we were trying to do?"

Colonel; "How could so few bombers cause so much destruction? Those airfields must be shorter than they look, aerial reconnaissance photo's look Sorong!"

The Major let out a long breath, what was the Colonel talking about? The tension in the room kicked up a notch; "Yes Sir.?!?."

Colonel; "Darn right Major, Now we need to take care of those escort range devils!"

Major; "Bealzebob?"

Colonel; "Stop repeating me son!" The Colonel shook his head in disgust, looked at the grease board and muttered "Sorong" to himself. As he turned to ask the Major a question the door slammed and the Major was gone. He signed a warrant out for the Majors arrest that evening.

The next morning the Major was found in his tent by the MP's, he had done the honorable thing. Colonel; "I knew I was right, the MP's found him dead - dead drunk! Worst intel officer I have ever seen. Sorong Bealzebob Gorong!" The faces of the assembled Officers remained blank as the Colonel continued to mumble to himself, a psych team from Sydney took the Colonel away the next day.

< Message edited by desicat -- 7/9/2012 11:14:32 PM >

(in reply to desicat)

Post #: 8409

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 12:43:47 AM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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*********************SouPac Amphibious Operations Steering Committee, Plenary Session, Jan. 18, 1943(c)************

Chairman: Right, so it's agreed, we do Namlea then Lautem, right?

Col. Corleone: G2 advises Fak Fak first, sir, on Dutch New Guinea

Chairman: Why is that, Colonel?

Col. Corleone: I think chiefly for entertainment value, sir. We all need a good Fak Fak. Alliteration....it rhymes with "Ack Ack"...the whole nine yards, sir......

(in reply to desicat)

Post #: 8410

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 1:13:35 AM

desicat

Posts: 542
Joined: 5/25/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********************SouPac Amphibious Operations Steering Committee, Plenary Session, Jan. 18, 1943(c)************

Chairman: Right, so it's agreed, we do Namlea then Lautem, right?

Col. Corleone: G2 advises Fak Fak first, sir, on Dutch New Guinea

Chairman: Why is that, Colonel?

Col. Corleone: I think chiefly for entertainment value, sir. We all need a good Fak Fak. Alliteration....it rhymes with "Ack Ack"...the whole nine yards, sir......

********* Brisbane Combined Allied HQ - Tiny Office in Logistics ***************

Washed out Flight Lt Reeves: "Damn that Lord Admiral Sprior! If he hadn't of caught me with that stripper at the golf course I wouldn't be in this predicament!"

Stripper: "Did you really quit flying to become a Doctor?"

Lt Reeves rubbing his cramping hands: "You had to have a bonfire, half the maps of the South Pacific up in smoke! What do I know about geography? Sprior takes the good ones and you and I are left to fill in the rest by hand for those idiotic Americans."

Stripper: "My friend Kendari dated a Marine once...she woke up drunk and sore...."

Flt Lt Reeves: "Shut your Yap...Hey, that's a good one..Y-A-P. I'll stick YAP in the Caroline Islands, they'll never know.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 8411

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 4:05:08 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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Disaster Strikes!

No, not the LYB's..it was the big black labrador who knocked over my new 600 hp computer and now it is making funny noises

Also the DL window for AE is over. I sent an email to matirx..I am NOT buying another copy on principle.

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 8412

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 4:09:28 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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Black crow dead on balcony. Probably means something.

West Nile? Zombie apocalypse? Climate change?

Maybe he just had Avian ADD (AADD) and wasn't looking.

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 8413

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 4:12:47 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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Did I mention the fridge side of the SubZero isn't working now? He probably broke something while dislodging all the dust from the coils and heat exchanger.

I had an xray on Friday and the tech says, "Are you still in practice?"

I am not naturally the conspiratorial type..but still.....

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 8414

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 4:25:53 PM

Chickenboy

Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
it is making funny noises

The laborador? Shouldn't you have that checked out?

_____________________________

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Post #: 8415

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 4:30:11 PM

Crackaces

Posts: 3858
Joined: 7/9/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
it is making funny noises

The laborador? Shouldn't you have that checked out?

The Ambiguous Antecedent ...

Of course the laborador might be sensing the high frequency sounds of an impending hard disk crash

_____________________________

"What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know. It's what we know for sure that just ain't so"

(in reply to Chickenboy)

Post #: 8416

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 4:37:24 PM

moore4807

Posts: 1089
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From: Punta Gorda FL
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And now he's gone on record as to what caused the damages.... Section 33 paragraph II line 4 "any damages incurred by pets or organic life voids all express or implied warranty..."

_____________________________

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Post #: 8417

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 4:52:32 PM

witpqs

Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Black crow dead on balcony. Probably means something.

West Nile? Zombie apocalypse? Climate change?

Maybe he just had Avian ADD (AADD) and wasn't looking.

The TV news would have you believe that birds never died before West Nile Virus. Then again, maybe that's why there are so many birds...

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 8418

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 4:58:57 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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How much you want to bet HP put a shock sensor in the thing?

As for the dog making funny nosies...that was Pinhead after she drank a full bottle of Maalox.

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 8419

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 5:00:44 PM

Chickenboy

Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

How much you want to bet HP put a shock sensor in the thing?

As for the dog making funny nosies...that was Pinhead after she drank a full bottle of Maalox.

Not sure the latter would qualify as 'funny' noises. I'd characterize that more as 'terrorizing noises designed to elicit an immediate removal from the house'.

_____________________________

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 8420

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 6:41:13 PM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Black crow dead on balcony. Probably means something.

West Nile? Zombie apocalypse? Climate change?

Maybe he just had Avian ADD (AADD) and wasn't looking.

If we follow Roman auspices it means dont invest in Sicilian grain markets.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 8421

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/10/2012 6:43:14 PM

Onime No Kyo

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Joined: 4/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

How much you want to bet HP put a shock sensor in the thing?

As for the dog making funny nosies...that was Pinhead after she drank a full bottle of Maalox.

Not sure the latter would qualify as 'funny' noises. I'd characterize that more as 'terrorizing noises designed to elicit an immediate removal from the house'.

No matter how fast your react, it will probably be too late.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Chickenboy)

Post #: 8422

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/11/2012 12:28:03 AM

Onime No Kyo

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Caption contest, anyone?

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Onime No Kyo -- 7/11/2012 12:30:33 AM >

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 8423

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/11/2012 3:48:02 AM

BBfanboy

Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Caption contest, anyone?

Today's Menu for N. Australia LYB units: Boot tongues with used sock stuffing!

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 8424

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/11/2012 4:16:40 AM

Moondawggie

Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I had an xray on Friday and the tech says, "Are you still in practice?"

I am not naturally the conspiratorial type..but still.....

I think the X-ray tech was backing your opponent in the recent med staff election that (sadly) you lost. Such disrespect must be avenged, or there will be heck to pay later on when you get referred for a more invasive procedure!

So, here's what I'd recommend you do: Tell the head of Radiology that, in your opinion, that particular tech is the absolute best when it comes to performing high-quality Barium enemas, and you're going to write a letter extolling the expertise of the Radiology Department to the head of the hospital, You will point out that you even wish all those studies could performed by that one individual tech, given your concern that your patients receive the absolute best in high-quality care. As a FACR, trust me. I know how the head of Radiology will respond...

6 months of full time reassignment to that job ought to wipe the smirk off that tech's face!

Don't get mad; get even!

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 8425

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/11/2012 10:17:50 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I had an xray on Friday and the tech says, "Are you still in practice?"

I am not naturally the conspiratorial type..but still.....

I think the X-ray tech was backing your opponent in the recent med staff election that (sadly) you lost. Such disrespect must be avenged, or there will be heck to pay later on when you get referred for a more invasive procedure!

So, here's what I'd recommend you do: Tell the head of Radiology that, in your opinion, that particular tech is the absolute best when it comes to performing high-quality Barium enemas, and you're going to write a letter extolling the expertise of the Radiology Department to the head of the hospital, You will point out that you even wish all those studies could performed by that one individual tech, given your concern that your patients receive the absolute best in high-quality care. As a FACR, trust me. I know how the head of Radiology will respond...

6 months of full time reassignment to that job ought to wipe the smirk off that tech's face!

Don't get mad; get even!

Wait...you are suggesting it was an INTENTIONAL insult?!

That didn't even occur to me. Maybe she was trying to get back at the evil overlords.

Now that I think about it, we had a brief conversation about whether there was going to be contrast material used and she seemed more than a little bit annoyed. The ordering doc ordered with and without contrast and they did ask about allergy and kidney disease so it seemed a very reasonable question on my part. She let on I was taking up too much time.

Santa Maria! I think you are right! Good thing I didn't order scrambled eggs or something..they would have been adulterated for sure.

As for getting even, your idea is good but there is also the more direct approach of threatening not to refer patients there if that is the way they treat people. That phone call and a casual mention of the techs name should get some results. Dang! I think you are right. I am really starting to get hot under the collar.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/11/2012 10:18:26 PM >

(in reply to Moondawggie)

Post #: 8426

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/11/2012 10:30:39 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline

Matrix came through with another download authorization for AE. After all, I just bought may second copy on 5-28. Now I just need to get the memsaab to let me use her laptop.

$50 for Hewlett-Packard to send a guy out to replace the motherboard...or I could wait for them to send me a box...send the whole thing back to them and then wait for them to send it back to me. Screw that. I'm jsut happy it's covered under the warranty.

Now...as for the 9 year old lab that broke the damn thing......

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/11/2012 10:31:39 PM >

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 8427

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/11/2012 10:37:19 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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Admiral Lord SPrior has an aggression rating of 86 today so he is trying to round up volunteers to land at Derby.

I think it will work but we will have to smack down Wyndham and Broome airfields some more.

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 8428

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/11/2012 10:57:57 PM

witpqs

Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Now...as for the 9 year old lab that broke the damn thing......

No warranty, I'm afraid.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 8429

RE: Hearts and Minds - 7/11/2012 11:16:17 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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Actually $50 damage for my dogs is pretty trivial.

I know a guy who lives up in an exclusive area in Orange County. His lab got out and the neighbor called him to tell him the dog had "killed some of the fish" in his pond.

This was well within character for the dog so he says, "OK, send me the bill"

Next day there is a bill in his mailbox for $4800. It seems the neighbor had elite koi who were able to do dolphin tricks and solve differential equations.

(in reply to witpqs)

Post #: 8430