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Wax on. Wax off. - 1/7/2013 10:36:08 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jeffk3510

Its not irritating.. just don't want my wife to see the tab at the top.. all it says is RE: Hot Asian Action (mostl...

Thinking on it some more, I don't know why she would care.. she doesn't like "action" any more anyways.. why would it bother her if I were seeking it elsewhere? Seems logical, no?


Just get a Brazilian wax. That will make steam come out of her ears.

If that doesn't work, get a copy of 50 Shades of Grey. Women love it. It's the equivalent of gallon jug of whale lube.

(in reply to jeffk3510)
Post #: 10291
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/7/2013 10:42:08 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Seen on restroom stall wall..




Attachment (1)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10292
RE: Nice title to avoid embarassing the wife (misspelli... - 1/7/2013 11:21:43 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Please reply to this one instead. Ta.


For those easily embarassed, I fixed that for you, mate.

Shouldn't that read ".... avoid embracing the wife" ?

< Message edited by BBfanboy -- 1/7/2013 11:23:26 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 10293
RE: Nice title to avoid embarassing the wife (misspelli... - 1/7/2013 11:22:04 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline 		duplicate - sorry

< Message edited by BBfanboy -- 1/7/2013 11:23:05 PM >

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 10294
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 12:29:56 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
If that doesn't work, get a copy of 50 Shades of Grey. Women love it.


I'd never have guessed that women had a yen for poorly written fiction about someone who gets spanked and slapped around a little bit. THAT is why I'll never be a popular writer, mate. Well, that and my inability to construct a full paragraph without a fart joke. So, anyways, this Japanese guy is visiting an Anglo member of a very old profession. During 'the act' he keeps flatulating. Finally, she asks..

Wait a minute-I'm sorry-this is totally inappropriate. Sorry about that.

< Message edited by Chickenboy -- 1/8/2013 12:31:20 AM >

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10295
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 1:57:01 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Ensnared in my own trap.

I am at work and I apparently hit print while typing something on the AAR so 13 pages showed up on the work printer with "Hot Asian Action" at the top. The MA jsut brings it to me with the tripilcate Rx's I have to sign.

"Is this yours?"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10296
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 2:31:54 AM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline
Best laugh I have had in a long time!

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10297
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 2:49:22 AM   
jeffk3510


Posts: 4132
Joined: 12/3/2007
From: Kansas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: jeffk3510

Its not irritating.. just don't want my wife to see the tab at the top.. all it says is RE: Hot Asian Action (mostl...

Thinking on it some more, I don't know why she would care.. she doesn't like "action" any more anyways.. why would it bother her if I were seeking it elsewhere? Seems logical, no?


Just get a Brazilian wax. That will make steam come out of her ears.

If that doesn't work, get a copy of 50 Shades of Grey. Women love it. It's the equivalent of gallon jug of whale lube.


Shes read that book a zillion times.. I enjoy our time in the evening when she is currently reading the books. When she's not.. I would rather watch TV..

_____________________________

Life is tough. The sooner you realize that, the easier it will be.

Currently chasing three kids around the Midwest.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10298
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 2:50:24 AM   
jeffk3510


Posts: 4132
Joined: 12/3/2007
From: Kansas
Status: offline

_____________________________

Life is tough. The sooner you realize that, the easier it will be.

Currently chasing three kids around the Midwest.

(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 10299
RE: Hot Asian Action (mostly clothed) - 1/8/2013 3:51:50 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LargeSlowTarget

Here is an old but good one:

Democrat Franklin Roosevelt was the first of eleven presidents Republican Bob Hope entertained. The commander-in-chief loved the comedian on the big screen and appreciated Hope's efforts entertaining the troops during World War II. Their paths crossed when Bob emceed a dinner in the president's honor, a few months before Roosevelt won an unprecedented fourth term in 1944. In front of a crowd of luminaries, Hope told a story about a Marine in the South Pacific who was disappointed that he had not encountered an enemy combatant. At the edge of a jungle, with his gun at the ready, he shouted out, "To hell with Hirohito!" A Japanese soldier emerged from behind the trees. "To hell with Roosevelt!" But the Marine lowered his weapon. "Darn it, I can't shoot a fellow Republican." The president threw back his head and laughed so hard Bob later said he almost considered voting for him.



Hory Crap! That rearry funny. This Bob Hope come teach at Haha Jima Schoor of Yiddish Comedy?

(in reply to LargeSlowTarget)
Post #: 10300
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 7:26:14 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
quote:

Shes read that book a zillion times..


The mem-sahib tried to read it but thought it was crap. She wrote to the writer and asked for her money back. Unsurprisingly nothing came back.

< Message edited by sprior -- 1/8/2013 7:27:39 AM >

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to jeffk3510)
Post #: 10301
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 12:45:24 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		Not even a coupon good for one spanking, eh? What a rip-off.

_____________________________


(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 10302
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 2:48:25 PM   
Crackaces


Posts: 3858
Joined: 7/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Ensnared in my own trap.

I am at work and I apparently hit print while typing something on the AAR so 13 pages showed up on the work printer with "Hot Asian Action" at the top. The MA jsut brings it to me with the tripilcate Rx's I have to sign.

"Is this yours?"


Hmmmm I am envisioning the Cap involved in something akin to the "McMartin preschool trial" ..as Medical Assistants [MA's] all gather as witnesses at his trial .. "Yes, I too saw long lists of Asian Women with pictures! and I saw excerpts from that book '50 shades of grey' .... He told me that he is running an Asian SMBD escort ring!!! .... " ....Try and smile for your mug shot and not look like you just got up from an all night drinking binge. I would negoitate 8 hours a day access to a computer with AE loaded ...

_____________________________

"What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know. It's what we know for sure that just ain't so"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10303
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 3:12:44 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		************Law and Order, Santa Ana*************


Lenny Briscoe: Mary, Kate, Val, Sally and especially Betty. I want faces for these victims! Let's do it people!

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10304
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 3:50:47 PM   
Crackaces


Posts: 3858
Joined: 7/9/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************Law and Order, Santa Ana*************


Lenny Briscoe: Mary, Kate, Val, Sally and especially Betty. I want faces for these victims! Let's do it people!


Now all they have to do is find Pax Mundo's aviatar and you are doing 10 -20 with time off for good behavior ..

_____________________________

"What gets us into trouble is not what we don't know. It's what we know for sure that just ain't so"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10305
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 7:27:54 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Bigjigs Railways (sadly you read it right) bid for UK rail franchise

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Crackaces)
Post #: 10306
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 8:10:42 PM   
CaptDave

 

Posts: 659
Joined: 6/21/2002
From: Federal Way, WA
Status: offline 		Too bad the franchise went back to Virgin. First Group may be far from perfect, but from the standpoint of someone who visits the country and uses a Railpass they're the best available (at least since the demise of GNER). Virgin, on the other hand and to use a more-British-than-American adjective, is simply horrid!

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 10307
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/8/2013 10:33:10 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Bigjigs Railways (sadly you read it right) bid for UK rail franchise

From the article: "They proposed a “fair fare” for the line’s 31 million passengers as “our trains are run on enjoyment and so our service will be FREE”.
I wonder if this [enjoyment] is in reference to the beds they also propose to install? Perhaps the Wax On, Wax Off heading should be changed to Hot and Wet British Action, the wet part in reference to the heavy rains recently?
At any rate, I am sure the Minister could not approve the bid since his campaign contributions include a significant "Thomas the Tank Engine" donation. Sir Topham Hat is watching ...

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 10308
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 10:02:02 AM   
neilm85uk_MatrixForum

 

Posts: 17
Joined: 12/8/2009
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Bigjigs Railways (sadly you read it right) bid for UK rail franchise

From the article: "They proposed a “fair fare” for the line’s 31 million passengers as “our trains are run on enjoyment and so our service will be FREE”.
I wonder if this [enjoyment] is in reference to the beds they also propose to install? Perhaps the Wax On, Wax Off heading should be changed to Hot and Wet British Action, the wet part in reference to the heavy rains recently?
At any rate, I am sure the Minister could not approve the bid since his campaign contributions include a significant "Thomas the Tank Engine" donation. Sir Topham Hat is watching ...


Not recently - continuously. Otherwise excellent

_____________________________

I lurk therefore I am

(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 10309
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 5:08:26 PM   
dcpollay


Posts: 532
Joined: 11/22/2012
From: Upstate New York USA
Status: offline 		Maybe the "Wet" reference is to the fact that the customers are about to get hosed?

_____________________________

"It's all according to how your boogaloo situation stands, you understand."

Formerly known as Colonel Mustard, before I got Slitherine Syndrome.

(in reply to neilm85uk_MatrixForum)
Post #: 10310
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 9:14:21 PM   
zuluhour


Posts: 5244
Joined: 1/20/2011
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I believe the transcript here in would out sell anything I saw on the paperback shelf at the grocery store; what else can you do at the grocery store when the wife asks you to go find some ripe melons?

(in reply to dcpollay)
Post #: 10311
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 9:25:59 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Seen on the back of a dirty van:

I wish my wife was this dirty

In different handwriting:

She is

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to zuluhour)
Post #: 10312
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 10:09:53 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Seen on the back of a dirty van:

I wish my wife was this dirty

In different handwriting:

She is


Imagine the shame. First you discover your wife is peripatetic and then you discover your original scribbling called for the subjunctive tense.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 10313
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 10:14:23 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*********"Share Day", SGJr(IV)'s neighboring first grade class***********


Imagine you you bring in your Tickle Me Pink Elmo doll to share and the kid before you has his dad bring in the ACTUAL FREAKIN' STANLEY CUP!


"Hory crap!"

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/9/2013 10:16:17 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10314
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 10:26:12 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		************************March 7, 1943(c)********************

Sorong: 2 days ago there was a flicker of intel about a sindle DD SW of Peleliu..so the AP's waiting to embark some combat engineers were sent back to Boela....and extra TBF's brought in.....then...nothing the next day. NOW they show up. It's Joe Isuzu again. I HATE that guy.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Sorong at 82,107, Range 2,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CL Isuzu
DD Kuroshio
DD Usugumo

Allied Ships
SC PC-578, Shell hits 3, and is sunk
SC PC-1078, Shell hits 17, and is sunk

It's good PT boat weather and moonlight....but...Whatever their intent, no real damage done.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Sorong at 82,107, Range 2,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CL Isuzu
DD Kuroshio
DD Usugumo

Allied Ships
PT-188
PT-190
PT-196
PT-222
PT-223
PT-295


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10315
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 10:28:52 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Manado: USS Washington wouldn't rearm with her 30% system damage so we sent in Hobart. It was a night not many Japanese will soon forget, I tell you, no siree........

Night Naval bombardment of Manado at 75,99

Allied Ships
CL Hobart



Runway hits 2

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10316
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 10:41:34 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		San Jose (the one on Panay, not in California): I gave up further unloading at Taytay for now as the troops there are in good supply (though 50% disrupted). I figure 1 1/2 Bn of infantry can hold indefinitely unless JJ brings up help. USS Phoenix was sent to San Jose to prevent any kind of landing to take back San Jose (LYB ships, possibly transports were near the Surigao Strait to the East.


FO Downing, No. 118 Sqdrn, RCAF..."They came out of the sun at us..must have been a dozen or more, screaming like banshees in their dives..."


Morning Air attack on TF, near San Jose at 78,84

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid detected at 63 NM, estimated altitude 8,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 34 minutes

Japanese aircraft
F1M2 Pete x 6



Allied aircraft
Hurricane XIIb x 13
F4F-4 Wildcat x 9


Japanese aircraft losses
F1M2 Pete: 4 destroyed

No Allied losses

FO Downing, No. 118 Sqdrn, RCAF..."In the afternoon, JJ came back. This time in bombers that bristled with machine guns. Must have been a hundred if there were ten........."


Afternoon Air attack on TF, near San Jose at 78,84

Weather in hex: Light rain

Raid detected at 66 NM, estimated altitude 9,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 19 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 26



Allied aircraft
Hurricane XIIb x 12
F4F-4 Wildcat x 9


Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 15 destroyed, 2 damaged
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 1 destroyed by flak

No Allied losses

Allied Ships
CL Denver


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/9/2013 10:42:53 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10317
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 10:48:34 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********"Share Day", SGJr(IV)'s neighboring first grade class***********


Imagine you you bring in your Tickle Me Pink Elmo doll to share and the kid before you has his dad bring in the ACTUAL FREAKIN' STANLEY CUP!


"Hory crap!"


The roots of these feelings of inadequacy will cost you tens of thousands in therapist bills, Cap'n.

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10318
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 11:01:49 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********"Share Day", SGJr(IV)'s neighboring first grade class***********


Imagine you you bring in your Tickle Me Pink Elmo doll to share and the kid before you has his dad bring in the ACTUAL FREAKIN' STANLEY CUP!


"Hory crap!"


The roots of these feelings of inadequacy will cost you tens of thousands in therapist bills, Cap'n.


Hey, I'm still trying to get over the trauma of winning "Most Improved" on my Pop Warner team...TWO YEARS IN A ROW!

If the kid in front of me on share day brought his REAL NHL STAR DAD WITH THE REAL NHL STANLEY CUP I would have had the sense to just lie down under the bus wheels and save the therapist bills.

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 10319
RE: Wax on. Wax off. - 1/9/2013 11:09:13 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Cagayan (de Oro no de Plomo): It appears the IJA has no answer for the behemoth that is the Stuart. We should have ourselves a good port and airfield on Mindanao shortly.

Ground combat at Cagayan (79,89)

Allied Shock attack

Attacking force 1110 troops, 0 guns, 156 vehicles, Assault Value = 83

Defending force 1235 troops, 20 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 41

Allied adjusted assault: 35

Japanese adjusted defense: 27

Allied assault odds: 1 to 1 (fort level 0)

Allied Assault reduces fortifications to 0

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), preparation(-), experience(-)
Attacker: op mode(-), shock(+), leaders(+), fatigue(-)

Japanese ground losses:
174 casualties reported
Squads: 2 destroyed, 20 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled



Assaulting units:
1st USMC Tank Battalion

Defending units:
Yokosuka 1st SNLF
16th Naval Guard Unit

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 10320
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