Slitherine

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ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

I liked your old car. As I remember you did tell me it had close to 200,000 miles on it............................

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

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ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

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ORIGINAL: sprior

Honky Fidd!

Care to have a swing at this one Mandrake?

I think I have it. I believe he is referring to white children with Fetal Iodine Deficiency Disorder (FIDD), also known as Endemic Cretinism.

I know it sounds a bit funny, the Cretinism part, but it is really quite tragic. Many potential strategic wargame players are lost for all time and are relegated to first person shooter games because of the disease.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So I splurged (because my old car had 195K miles on the original engine) and got myself a new 5 series. Needless to say the thing is fun to drive. Anyway, so I go out to dinner and have two martinis and a bunch of pasta and I am driving back home and I come up to the 405 to 133 interchange and it has this really fun onramp. Hey, I was powerless to resist.

So I am going about 60 on the 25 MPH onrmap and all four wheels are starting to drift and I get to the top and there is a distinct crown in the road and...whoa. Long story short I smack into this little curb with both driver side wheels and knock out the front end alignment and gouge the front rim. Bloody Hell!

I don't really want to tell my insurance company so I just go down to the BMW dealership for my pennance. The pennance amounted to about $1100 after I had to replace one rim and tire (tyre). But that is not good enough for them. They want to sell me 100% nitrogen for my tires (tyres).

"How much for that?", I ask.

"$40 Mr. Mandrake"

"$40 dollars for nitrogen, are you kidding?"

"No sir, it's 100% nitrogen. It's supposed to last longer."

"Eons, I imagine."

"Sir?"

"OK, how about this, the tires (tyres) have compressed air already, right?"

"Yes sir"

"And air is 78% Nitrogen or so."

<cautiously> "Yes."

"Right, so I will sell you the air in my tires (tyres) for 80% of $40, that's $30, and that leaves mostly Oxygen, you guys could set up an oxygen bar for the clients, that's got to be worth at least $10 or so. Then we are even. Y'all can have the argon for free."

"I wouldn't know how to write that up. How about I just throw in the Nitrogen Service as a courtesy?"

"SPLENDID!"

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

My mood was ruined later when i got anothe AARP invitation to join email.

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Can someone explain to me how I can be on a call list for debt restructuring agencies AND stock broker sales calls at the same time?

The other night I get this call at 12:30 AM. I stagger out of bed and answer it, "Hello?" (I couldn't think of anything clever at the time). Then I hear female giggling on the other end.

"Lo siento doctor. Me equivico." It's my 4ft 6 Mayan housekeeper. Apparently she has butt-dialed me. The wierd thing is it sounds like there are two people giggling. Is this some kind of 21st century Mayan houskeeper ding-dong-ditch gag? I imagine a Mayan housekeeper tequila party where they are daring each other to call and wake up the "patron". I let it go. "Hasta el Lunes, Savina."

My advice. Learn how to lock your keypad. Butt-dialing is at least as dangerous as "reply all" on email.....and never, EVER, call your boss at 12:30 and pretend you butt-dialed him.

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ORIGINAL: sprior

Dec 18th

Honky Fidd hasnt fallen yet although our fixholes are getting filled in faster than we can dig them.

Kuching is in trouble, Dutch boats en route to look for nice fat skimmers.

Brown jobs on way to Darwin or PM vice Soerabaya.

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ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..... Brown jobs on way to Darwin or PM vice Soerabaya.


******Prime Minister's Bomb Shelter, London, Dec. 19, 1941******

Miss Darwin: <at door to map room> Mr. Prime Minister, there is an attractive young American here in a curious brown uniform with short trousers, sneakers and white stockings. He says he has a package for you. Shall I sign?

PM: What does it say?

Miss Darwin: <looks at package> It is in a brown paper envelope and is addressed to "PM care of Miss Darwin". The return address is "Soerabaja Vice: Javanese Girls Gone Wild".

PM: Ah! Splendid! <walks away from map of North Africa> Yes, please sign for it. I'll be in my chambers for a bit and am not to be disturbed. In the meantime, ring Whitehall and see who they have as a replacement commander for 8th Army. Tell them I want somebody with a good Land Rating and an Aggression rating over 25 this time.
...and I don't want to hear anything about that insufferable prima donna, Montgomery.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Can someone explain to me how I can be on a call list for debt restructuring agencies AND stock broker sales calls at the same time?

The other night I get this call at 12:30 AM. I stagger out of bed and answer it, "Hello?" (I couldn't think of anything clever at the time). Then I hear female giggling on the other end.

"Lo siento doctor. Me equivico." It's my 4ft 6 Mayan housekeeper. Apparently she has butt-dialed me. The wierd thing is it sounds like there are two people giggling. Is this some kind of 21st century Mayan houskeeper ding-dong-ditch gag? I imagine a Mayan housekeeper tequila party where they are daring each other to call and wake up the "patron". I let it go. "Hasta el Lunes, Savina."

My advice. Learn how to lock your keypad. Butt-dialing is at least as dangerous as "reply all" on email.....and never, EVER, call your boss at 12:30 and pretend you butt-dialed him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The other night I get this call at 12:30 AM. I stagger out of bed and answer it, "Hello?" (I couldn't think of anything clever at the time). Then I hear female giggling on the other end.

"Lo siento doctor. Me equivico." It's my 4ft 6 Mayan housekeeper. Apparently she has butt-dialed me. The wierd thing is it sounds like there are two people giggling. Is this some kind of 21st century Mayan houskeeper ding-dong-ditch gag? I imagine a Mayan housekeeper tequila party where they are daring each other to call and wake up the "patron". I let it go. "Hasta el Lunes, Savina."

My advice. Learn how to lock your keypad. Butt-dialing is at least as dangerous as "reply all" on email.....and never, EVER, call your boss at 12:30 and pretend you butt-dialed him.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alfred



Rather than deflecting the guilt onto Savina, you should be man enough to shoulder the full responsibility and admit the fault lay with you. After all, surely Savina was entitled to expect you to be working out your fall back lines on Luzon at 12.30 am.

Alternatively, wasn't there previously some competition between your Mayan housemaid and stalker girl, and Savina was really trying to needle stalker girl by waking her up, confident that you would not answer due to aforementioned commitments on Luzon.

Alfred

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ORIGINAL: Mynok


Rough field trip for the Boy Scouts!

WIC's? WO In Charge?

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Unfortuantely, I somehow managed to assign them 8 priceless B-17E's