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RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

 
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RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/21/2014 3:36:39 PM   
poodlebrain

 

Posts: 392
Joined: 10/4/2012
From: Comfy Chair in Baton Rouge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********Seaside Virra, Truk, Dec 18, 1941(d)*********


Attractive young Rukanese woman in tropical attire: Honorary Admiral Mandrake-san, do you think a torpedo boat will be enough to suppress the enemy coastal guns at Ambon? Intelligence is 3-5 150mm and 4-6 75 mm operable.


Admirahr Mandrake-san: Hory crap! Why not someone say something before? Mandrake-san have to think of everything?
Sounds like Admirahr Mandrake-san is devoting too much of his attention to his duties as commander of the IJN South Pacific Breastwatchers, and not enough to fleet operations.


_____________________________

Never trust a man who's ass is wider than his shoulders.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 481
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/21/2014 4:54:41 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to take an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. *



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/22/2014 6:36:00 PM >

(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 482
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/21/2014 5:09:05 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. *



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.

That's racist! Not all people born in India are Hindi speakers. Not all Indianans, either.

_____________________________

Intel Monkey: https://sites.google.com/view/staffmonkeys/home

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 483
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/21/2014 5:33:25 PM   
DanSez


Posts: 1023
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline 		It is amazing what you can learn from reading AARs.

Pocahontas Panties Puns and Hairy Hindu Haikus rain down confusion on Allied SigInt traffic interceptors.

(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 484
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/21/2014 6:45:31 PM   
poodlebrain

 

Posts: 392
Joined: 10/4/2012
From: Comfy Chair in Baton Rouge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. *



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.

If a Hindi speaker kills a Medi-Cal employee is it a capital offense? Or you could trust your luck to getting a bunch of jurors who have had to deal with Medi-Cal and realize killing a Medi-Cal employee is always justifiable homicide.

In the interests of keeping certain themes alive, do you think Medi-Cal employees are prone to writing and reciting bad poetry?

_____________________________

Never trust a man who's ass is wider than his shoulders.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 485
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/21/2014 9:09:18 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...Rook it up. Japan-mens have one 3500 ton AKE now.

Toho Maru crass, 4700 tons, avairaburh in Feb. '42, War ovah by then.


You can make-ah another before then, Captain-san. Japan-mens abirity to upgrade very different than Arries. Select a larger xAK and toggle through until you find one that can upgrade in short order.

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 486
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/22/2014 2:52:03 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain
If a Hindi speaker kills a Medi-Cal employee is it a capital offense?


Only if it happens in Sacramento.

ETA:

_____________________________


(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 487
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/22/2014 4:12:05 AM   
bradfordkay

 

Posts: 8683
Joined: 3/24/2002
From: Olympia, WA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. *



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.



You are lucky they didn't list you as an archeologist...

_____________________________

fair winds,
Brad

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 488
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/22/2014 2:14:55 PM   
Xargun

 

Posts: 3690
Joined: 2/14/2004
From: Near Columbus, Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain
Sounds like Admirahr Mandrake-san is devoting too much of his attention to his duties as commander of the IJN South Pacific Breastwatchers, and not enough to fleet operations.



I'm sure he is. He's helping his scantily clad aids understand the fine art of using the Japanese Rong Rance

< Message edited by Xargun -- 5/22/2014 3:15:31 PM >

(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 489
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/22/2014 5:34:14 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*******Crew's mess, I-24********

W.O. Watanabe: OK, AGAIN!

After torpedoroom crew: <Shouting in unison> I, WE, HE, SHE, IT, THEY!

W.O. Watanabe: HAI, AGAIN!

After torpedoroom crew: <Shouting in unison> I, WE, HE, SHE, IT, THEY!

W.O. Watanabe: HAI! Arr torpedocrew-mens practice. Questions?

Able Seaman Oshio: Hai! Warrant Officer Watanabe-san, what-ah "it" for?

W.O. Watanabe: Damn it, Oshio. Watanabe not goddamned Engrish Professor. Whore Japan-mens navy rearn this so Japan-mens give orders faster. Just do. Admirahr Yamamoto-san orders.

(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 490
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/22/2014 5:40:13 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. *



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.



You are lucky they didn't list you as an archeologist...


There was this Polish kid in medical school who wanted to be an archeologist but his mom made him go into medicine. He hated it. Terrible with his hands too. Not sure how he ever got through wood shop with all his digits. We had to practice blood drawing on each other and I drew him to practice on me. Poor bastard was shaking like a leaf. I am pretty sure he stuck the needle in my biceps tendon. Hurt like crap as I recall.

(in reply to bradfordkay)
Post #: 491
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/22/2014 7:21:33 PM   
poodlebrain

 

Posts: 392
Joined: 10/4/2012
From: Comfy Chair in Baton Rouge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. *



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.



You are lucky they didn't list you as an archeologist...


There was this Polish kid in medical school who wanted to be an archeologist but his mom made him go into medicine. He hated it. Terrible with his hands too. Not sure how he ever got through wood shop with all his digits. We had to practice blood drawing on each other and I drew him to practice on me. Poor bastard was shaking like a leaf. I am pretty sure he stuck the needle in my biceps tendon. Hurt like crap as I recall.

There was a missed opportunity for Mandrake-san to use phlebotomy in a sentence.

_____________________________

Never trust a man who's ass is wider than his shoulders.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 492
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/22/2014 7:41:13 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline 		It has an 'l'.

_____________________________

Intel Monkey: https://sites.google.com/view/staffmonkeys/home

(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 493
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/22/2014 9:34:27 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		6 year old comes in with his mom. Seems he's getting into trouble at school for yanking on his unit all the time. He's in KG and he already reads at least 2-3 grade levels above. Probably bored to death so he retreats to familiar territory.


The funny thing is the teacher's solution. She moved him to the other side of the room away from the girls. Evidentry it was believed to be some kind of pheromone thing.

(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 494
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/22/2014 9:41:03 PM   
zuluhour


Posts: 5244
Joined: 1/20/2011
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		sure he's fishing for zipper bass and not looking for his joint?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 495
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/22/2014 9:41:19 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Rowdy, talkative 3 year old comes in with mom and grandma and younger brother. He's done with his exam so grandma comes over to the table to get him. He leaps onto her back like a bareback Arapaho rider, holds on with one hand, leans back and slaps her on the ass with his other hand yelling and laughing..."Bad Grandma, Bad Gradma!" then he spurs her with his heels

I wasn't sure if he adapted his routine form his prior punishments or if the parents were watching S&M videos and he snuck downstairs.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 496
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/23/2014 12:31:34 AM   
poodlebrain

 

Posts: 392
Joined: 10/4/2012
From: Comfy Chair in Baton Rouge
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

6 year old comes in with his mom. Seems he's getting into trouble at school for yanking on his unit all the time. He's in KG and he already reads at least 2-3 grade levels above. Probably bored to death so he retreats to familiar territory.


The funny thing is the teacher's solution. She moved him to the other side of the room away from the girls. Evidentry it was believed to be some kind of pheromone thing.
That is not my nephew, and I never told him that yanking on it would make it grow bigger. What's his mother worried about? He could be a brony.

_____________________________

Never trust a man who's ass is wider than his shoulders.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 497
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/25/2014 3:23:10 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		<looks at email again...not turn yet...just another BevMo ad...sighs quietly then turns on another episode of The Shift>


I grew up in Indianapolis. Nobody I knew ever got murdered and the biggest drug bust was when Johnny "Bad Ass" James brought cinnamon toothpicks to St Andrews.

(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 498
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/25/2014 3:34:04 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline 		Did he bring enough for everybody? That would make him a dealer!

_____________________________

Intel Monkey: https://sites.google.com/view/staffmonkeys/home

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 499
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/25/2014 3:39:29 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		So my brother is in Florida working on this development project before the real east bubble burst. He get's pulled over for speeding or some such thing.

Officer: Good afternoon, sir. I stopped you for doing 60 in a 45 mph zone. Do you have any weapons in the vehicle?
<they ask you this in Florida>

Brother: Yes, I have a 9 mm under the passenger seat and an over and under in the trunk.

Officer: Are they loaded?

Brother: Yes, the 9mm is.

Officer: May I ask why you have a loaded gun in the car? Are you in a dangerous profession?

Brother: Yes.

Officer: What is that?

Brother: Architecture.


He did actually have a personal bodyguard for about 2 years..a massive African American lad with a jaw like a WWII propaganda poster. Never quite figured out why that was necessary for real estate development.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 500
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/25/2014 3:48:00 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Did he bring enough for everybody? That would make him a dealer!


Oh yeah. A small bottle with 30 toothpicks and pure cinnamon oil. That's why they called him "Bad Ass".

I am pretty sure if I watch enough episodes of The Shift, one will feature Johnny.

(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 501
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/25/2014 4:01:20 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Did some homework. The best candidate for an AKE conversion is the 6700 ton Lima class AK which requires only a level 5 port and 21 d.

Japan-mens prayers shourd start a few of these bad boys on Dec 7.

(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 502
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/26/2014 3:45:35 AM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So my brother is in Florida working on this development project before the real east bubble burst. He get's pulled over for speeding or some such thing.

He did actually have a personal bodyguard for about 2 years..a massive African American lad with a jaw like a WWII propaganda poster. Never quite figured out why that was necessary for real estate development.


Well, when you are a developer, the developees may not like where the vaseline is being applied before you slide in your massive skyscraper ...
Seems motive enough to me to carry protection.

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 503
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/26/2014 5:09:21 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Japan-mens prayers shourd start a few of these bad boys on Dec 7.

Ah-ya. No-shiht-ah.

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 504
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/26/2014 12:39:27 PM   
poodlebrain

 

Posts: 392
Joined: 10/4/2012
From: Comfy Chair in Baton Rouge
Status: offline 		I was reading the local newspaper this morning when I came across an item that just begged for mentioning in this AAR. It seems Baton Rouge police arrested one Rongrong Chen. I got a kick out of the name so I searched for Rongrong Chen on Google. It turns out there are several Rongrong Chens. What are the chances the Baton Rouge police arrested the wrong Rongrong?

_____________________________

Never trust a man who's ass is wider than his shoulders.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 505
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/26/2014 2:27:46 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain

I was reading the local newspaper this morning when I came across an item that just begged for mentioning in this AAR. It seems Baton Rouge police arrested one Rongrong Chen. I got a kick out of the name so I searched for Rongrong Chen on Google. It turns out there are several Rongrong Chens. What are the chances the Baton Rouge police arrested the wrong Rongrong?


On the other hand, how could something so Rong be so right?

_____________________________


(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 506
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 5/26/2014 3:33:41 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain

I was reading the local newspaper this morning when I came across an item that just begged for mentioning in this AAR. It seems Baton Rouge police arrested one Rongrong Chen. I got a kick out of the name so I searched for Rongrong Chen on Google. It turns out there are several Rongrong Chens. What are the chances the Baton Rouge police arrested the wrong Rongrong?



Just a cultural misunderstanding. I saw him in a movie once. His real name is Rongdong Chen. The movie, Rngdong Does Kowroon, didn't do very well in Western markets, except as a comedy.


No turn yet

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/26/2014 4:36:35 PM >

(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 507
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/17/2014 11:56:32 PM   
DanSez


Posts: 1023
Joined: 2/5/2012
Status: offline 		Subscriber bump - hope to see more reports soon. Some funny stuff going on here.
cheers

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 508
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/18/2014 2:31:49 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Bummer, really. We aren't getting any turns. I'll see if our opponent can advertise for someone to take over.

(in reply to poodlebrain)
Post #: 509
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/18/2014 2:39:15 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Recentry watch Word Cup. Some Japan-mens prayers have bronde hair. Not-ah sure if this mean Japan-mens win war or ruse war. Arhso not-ah see anyone in stands with Imperiar rising sun motif. This very odd.

Arhso, nobody say "BANZAI" when Japan-mens score, which apparentry not very often.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 510
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