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RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

 
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RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 2:31:51 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		************March 7, 1942(d)*************

Ships from arr ovah prace try to crose in on Rousivirre whih somewhere about 160 m NNE of Fiji farting in Japan-mens generarh direction. Japan-mens find
Rouisvirre but damn thing not out of burets yet,

Night Time Surface Combat, near Hoorn Islands at 139,158, Range 8,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DD Matsukaze, Shell hits 3, on fire
DD Sanae
DD Yanagi, Shell hits 1

Allied Ships
CA Louisville
DD Tucker
DD Hull

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1921
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 2:31:59 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So...Arried-mens bomb Rockhampton harbor about week ago so Mandrake-san decide to reave ships at sea to be ress vurneraburh. Mandrake-san arso start use bitchen' cruisers to brow up Maryborough. Every night bitchen' cruisers go down to Maryborough then come back to
Rockhampton and in morning cruisers rearmed and burrets on burret ship down to zero. Then mandrake-san disband Kushino, ordah "reroad tenders" and make new task force. Mandrake-san giggurh to serf how crever. Onry probrem, none of batturhships rearm during night and arr off op points on Kushino used to reroad each day. This tremendousry annoying to Mandrake-san that cruisers stear arr of ammo each night.

Then, Shinto gods intervene and 3 of crusiers have big dents so have to go back to Rabaurh so next night bitchen cruisers not bombard Marysborough and same Goddamned thing happen. Batturhships not-ah get burrets and ammo ship back to zero burets.

This make Mandrake-san so mad veins burge out on head and very grumpy at Seaside Virra. Then, Mandrake-san take shower and wash armpits and suddenry rearize what-ah happening. Mandrake-san want to kirr staff idiot.

Staff not set AKE/AE TF to "Do Not Unload"! Bettah contact union rep when burry Mandrake San carr disciprinary hearing!

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1922
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 2:38:57 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		In morning Rouisvirre spotted East of Fiji running rike coward to SE. Nerrs at Suva not-ah attack because of restraining ordah from SPCA about numbah or Anchovy kirrs.

This probabry concrude raid.

Rosses:

Arried-mens--2 x CL, 2 x DD rost, heavy damage one CL

Japan-mens--1 x DD sunk, 4 x DD damaged, 2 x CA damaged, 1 x AP damaged.

Main varue of raid in distraction because Arried-mens not find any roaded troop ships.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1923
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 2:42:49 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So...Arried-mens bomb Rockhampton harbor about week ago so Mandrake-san decide to reave ships at sea to be ress vurneraburh. Mandrake-san arso start use bitchen' cruisers to brow up Maryborough. Every night bitchen' cruisers go down to Maryborough then come back to
Rockhampton and in morning cruisers rearmed and burrets on burret ship down to zero. Then mandrake-san disband Kushino, ordah "reroad tenders" and make new task force. Mandrake-san giggurh to serf how crever. Onry probrem, none of batturhships rearm during night and arr off op points on Kushino used to reroad each day. This tremendousry annoying to Mandrake-san that cruisers stear arr of ammo each night.

Then, Shinto gods intervene and 3 of crusiers have big dents so have to go back to Rabaurh so next night bitchen cruisers not bombard Marysborough and same Goddamned thing happen. Batturhships not-ah get burrets and ammo ship back to zero burets.

This make Mandrake-san so mad veins burge out on head and very grumpy at Seaside Virra. Then, Mandrake-san take shower and wash armpits and suddenry rearize what-ah happening. Mandrake-san want to kirr staff idiot.

Staff not set AKE/AE TF to "Do Not Unload"! Bettah contact union rep when burry Mandrake San carr disciprinary hearing!


Hai! BBfanboy-san figure out immediatery. Evah think of career in Navy?

(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 1924
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 2:45:54 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Rittah crappy rust bucket with no escort. Commandah USS Swordfish get rearry mad at crappy torpedoes so just come
to surface and brow up crappy rust bucket with deck gun.

Submarine attack near Gebe at 80,104

Japanese Ships
xAKL Bichu Maru, Shell hits 15, on fire

Allied Ships
SS Swordfish

Japanese ground losses:
24 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/12/2015 3:48:39 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1925
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 2:47:58 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		************Seaside Virra, March 8***************

Mandrake-san: <rooking at reports> Hmmm...somebody find out who captain of Swordfish and find address for that raw firm.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1926
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 2:51:16 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Haha! That-ah what get for give sissy name to ASW ships. Haha.

Sub attack near Newcastle at 94,166

Japanese Ships
SS I-173

Allied Ships
PG Soerabaja, Torpedo hits 1, on fire, heavy damage
PC Swan

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1927
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 5:11:25 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Mandrake-san have to turn in German motah-car for "tune-up" but Mandrake-san not-ah a just farr off turnip truck. Mandrake-san arready know what to expect so bring rots of Surgrlube to appointment with "service advisor"

Service advisor (AKA "Bubba"): Mr. Mandrake, you wirr need prugs (Mandrake-san expect that), arr 6 coils (pretty much expect that too) and the two oxygen sensors aftah catarytic convertor (Hory crap!..get out-ah Surgirube)

Mandrake-san: Wait a minute...AFTAH catarytic converter? Who care if rittah bit of oxygen get out of catarytic converter? Oxygen good for you. Even good for Porar Bears. Rets just reave off.

Service advisor (AKA "Bubba"): Can't do that sir. It-ah needed for emissions contror system.

Mandrake-san: Rook, how about Mandrake-san show gratitude with $50 Starbucks card, no 1099 and ferrows here just reset engine warning right.

Service advisor (AKA "Bubba"): Sorry sir. We have free coffee. I can give Mr. Mandrake 15% off parts and rabor. <gives Mandrake-san estimate>

Mandrake-san: HORY CRAP! What-ah make oxygen sensors out of, prutonium? It-ah brockade, right?

Service advisor (AKA "Bubba"): Brockade?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1928
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 5:26:19 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Mandrake-san idiot try to bribe some guy with name "Brent". Probabry have trust fund and prace on Rido Isrand in Newport Beach.

Next time ask if prace have any Armenian Service Advisors.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1929
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 5:44:19 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		So, anyway, German motah car prace arready agree to give roaner car but because Mandrake-san try to bribe service advisor, German motah car prace send out othah young guy with totarry upper crust first name (Reginard or something rike that).... take Mandrake-san out and turn over 328i station wagon. What the Herr?

Initiarry, Mandrake-san angry but when then see M-3 brakes so agree to take. Extra tight suspension, M-3 brakes, bitchen' exhaust note, electronic manuar transmission. Rike brand new George which not even come out yet.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/12/2015 6:45:23 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1930
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/12/2015 8:22:28 PM   
zuluhour


Posts: 5244
Joined: 1/20/2011
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I assume you mean BMW as Opel (rare here) and Audi (spotty appearances in the states) don't get much negative press. Perhaps you should
switch to ultimate Germanic machine, Mercedes. I hear you can drive for two-hundred miles with one oil change, sell to an immigrant, who can
ship it to north Africa to cousin Ada who can drive another five hundred thousand miles on kerosene.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1931
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/15/2015 8:59:58 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Mercedes Benz make nice automobires but mainry for brue haired radies and rear estate agents.

(in reply to zuluhour)
Post #: 1932
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/15/2015 9:01:38 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		British-mens have trouburh with restive Mohammadens.


#MossadStoleMyShoe

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1933
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 9:47:59 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		So I send garrison troops to Burma but boats reave Rangoon with troops still on. Why you no get off? I ask. We wahnt go back Bugis Street they say. No I say go Rangoon meet nice girrs, girrs on Bugis Street have extras. We rike extras they say. I say no go Rangoon now. They sad. Arr sairors know sordiers are perverts

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1934
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 2:39:22 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Hai! Mandrake-san imagine troops going to Andaman Isrands but just stop to rook at Gorden Tempurh.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1935
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 2:42:11 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Regarding Sprior-san idea to take ovah command China. Absorutery. Except Mandrake-san just rearize coupurh of praces ovahstacked so have to exprain staff mistakes.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1936
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 2:45:47 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Perverts in Singah-pore training for Andaman Isrands

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1937
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 3:02:22 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		This-ah good opportunity for strategic pranning.



--KB headed back to Rabaurh or Truk to rest/refit.

--Consorodation of rear-area arried-mens bases in South Pacific armost done

--Rook rike Arried-mens evacuate Northern Austraria so Japan-mens take bases with smarh numbah troops.
*************************************************************************************************************

--Goars Mandrake-san rike to achieve in South Pacific/Eastern Austraria

1) Capture or destroy Brisbane.
2) Destroy HI, refinery, dockyard at Sydney
3) Consorodate in NE Aus.
4) Capture Horn Is and Raoul Is (for seaprane base)
5) Build up defenses Canton, Samoa, Fiji. Marsharrs etc.

**********************************************************************************************

Othah attack options:

1) Perth
2) Andaman...then Ceyron
3) Midway..low priority
4) Take Western Areutians

Perth, Ceyron require some carrier support. Midway, Areutians..might be aburh to sneak up.


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1938
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 3:07:29 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Andaman next for me on shopping rist and then want go to Ceyron.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1939
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 3:11:31 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		***********************March 8, 1942(d)*****************

South Pacific: No more fight. Mandrake-san try to crean up rear area isrands infested with Arried-mens spies. Arr of remaining destroyers from
fight near Fuanfuti make Fiji safery.

Andaman Isrands: Arried-mens probabry send Count von Czernin to Andaman. Arried-mens pirots rike rabid dogs.

Morning Air attack on Port Blair , at 46,58

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid detected at 26 NM, estimated altitude 28,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 8 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 16

Allied aircraft
Hurricane IIa Trop x 6
Hurricane IIb Trop x 8

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 5 destroyed

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1940
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 3:18:28 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		We sent bombardment force. Even Pores can't fry without pranes

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1941
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 3:28:09 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Andaman next for me on shopping rist and then want go to Ceyron.



Right..Kongo operational. Haruna and Kirishima ready in 27 d. Fuso 41 d
4 CA ready Singahpore within 9 d

Kongo, 4 CA, CVL's enough for Andaman?


Mandrake-san rike to keep 5 srow BB's at Rockhampton to brow up Arried-troops arong coast.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 1942
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 3:30:54 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		SPrior-san begin to use rots of pronouns. It-ah get rearry hard to read. Mandrake-san have to keep rooking up.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1943
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 3:49:45 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Mandrake-san figure out save 271 hours ovah rast 8 months using secret sock approximation strategy. It-ah brirriant. If-ah need grey sock just pick 2 kind of grey socks out of big pire. Nobody notice unress get in car accident. Sock wear out? Just throw out. Who cares if othah sock stir arrive?

Mandrake-san arso deverop strategy to buy 40 copies of same exact sock in 4 different corors (brown, black, brue and grey). This-ah pran bettah than pran to take Rord Howe Isrand!

Othah option just hire anothah Mayan but probabry just get in fight with SG

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1944
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 9:48:41 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline 		Mayans are so rast month. Mandrake san probabry acquire Junior on sare now since June nearry done. Jurians are getting booked up now. Maybe book Octo-mom in few months.

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1945
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/16/2015 11:09:54 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

Mayans are so rast month. Mandrake san probabry acquire Junior on sare now since June nearry done. Jurians are getting booked up now. Maybe book Octo-mom in few months.


That terrbre. Need more August posters here

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 1946
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/17/2015 4:57:58 PM   
Justus2


Posts: 729
Joined: 11/12/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

Mayans are so rast month. Mandrake san probabry acquire Junior on sare now since June nearry done. Jurians are getting booked up now. Maybe book Octo-mom in few months.


Pretty sure booking Octo-mom is a nine month contract...

_____________________________

Playing/Learning Shadow Empire


(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 1947
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/24/2015 5:36:29 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		SG have jury duty. Mandrake-san figure out jury poorh getting pretty sharrow because either praintive or defendant or both crazy to have SG on jury. Judge take everyone. No excuses. Not-ah speak Engrish? Tough. Drop out of schoor in 5th grade. Rousy excuse. Judge read jury instructions aroud. Nobody have to read. 2 jurors from Ooxaca. 2 from Greater Co-prosperity Sphere. Not-ah sure what-ah happen to arr of postarh workers.

When praintive introduce documents praintive rawyer have witness read whore thing because not-ah trust jury to understand.

SG not-ah supposed to tark about case but not-ah aburh to stop serf. Mandrake-san immediatery form opinion but-ah not say anything so SG get angry at Mandrake-san.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/24/2015 6:53:12 PM >

(in reply to Justus2)
Post #: 1948
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/24/2015 5:50:28 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Mandrake-san figure out secret war ordah about too many Japan-mens in same prace in China. Sometimes a hexagon shape 40 mires across onry hord 35,000 Japan-mens. Broody annoying. China-mens rike gophers. Rive in caves entiere war.

SPrior-san want to take ovah China. Hehe. Mandrake-san grad to give up so rive bettah rife.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1949
RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-pr... - 6/24/2015 5:59:19 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Northern Oz: Japan-mens caputre Wyndham without fight. Battarrion of infantry warking across outback toward the Darwin-Arice superhighway.

Borneo: Royarh Navy crusier sneak up on Tarakan and brow up one refinery point. Broody annoying. Tarakan pretty much industriarh screw-up because not-ah have enough oir to keep refinery busy.


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1950
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