Slitherine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Orm

Good evening.

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ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Good afternoon.

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ORIGINAL: Zorch

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ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Good afternoon.

It's a 'gooder' afternoon for some than others.

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Something to think about:

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Something to think about:

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

Politically incorrect! Unfair to blondes! Why don't brunettes and redheads get equal mention in your jokes?

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Something to think about:

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

quote:

ORIGINAL: btd64

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Something to think about:

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

Maybe I've been around too long, but that joke has some mileage to it as well. Still funny though....GP

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Something to think about:

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

Politically incorrect! Unfair to blondes! Why don't brunettes and redheads get equal mention in your jokes?

It is a known fact that genetically, redheads are a pain . . .

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ORIGINAL: Zorch

quote:

ORIGINAL: btd64

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Something to think about:

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

Maybe I've been around too long, but that joke has some mileage to it as well. Still funny though....GP

If a blonde told this joke, what would she/he replace 'blonde' with?

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

quote:

ORIGINAL: USSAmerica

Got my last errand completed early this morning. My wife and I are now able to stay away from other humans for up to 5-6 weeks if we stretch our food a bit. We are very fortunate in our situation and my job. Still hoping it won't come to that, but "have it and not need it" is the order of the day in the USS America household.

I hope all of my Thread Brothers and your families are safe, healthy, and able to stay that way!

Prior Preparation & Planning Prevents Pathetically Poor Performance!

A & B: WitW, WitE, WbtS, GGWaW, GGWaW2-AWD, HttR, CotA, BftB, CF
P: UV, WitP, WitP-AE

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apollo11

Hi all,

quote:

ORIGINAL: USSAmerica

Got my last errand completed early this morning. My wife and I are now able to stay away from other humans for up to 5-6 weeks if we stretch our food a bit. We are very fortunate in our situation and my job. Still hoping it won't come to that, but "have it and not need it" is the order of the day in the USS America household.

I hope all of my Thread Brothers and your families are safe, healthy, and able to stay that way!

Please take care Mike and all our other forumites!

BTW, I told you that you were extremely lucky that your cruise was aborted... you would have been in big trouble if you traveled on that cruise ship...


Leo "Apollo11"

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

I hope this isn't too topical.

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

I hope this isn't too topical.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Something to think about:

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

Politically incorrect! Unfair to blondes! Why don't brunettes and redheads get equal mention in your jokes?

It is a known fact that genetically, redheads are a pain . . .

As a redhead, I will make your prophecy self-fulfilling

quote:

ORIGINAL: USSAmerica

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

quote:

ORIGINAL: btd64

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Something to think about:

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

Maybe I've been around too long, but that joke has some mileage to it as well. Still funny though....GP

If a blonde told this joke, what would she/he replace 'blonde' with?

"a man"

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Something to think about:

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

Politically incorrect! Unfair to blondes! Why don't brunettes and redheads get equal mention in your jokes?

It is a known fact that genetically, redheads are a pain . . .

As a redhead, I will make your prophecy self-fulfilling

It is a known fact that redheads need 20 percent more pain relievers to get the same amount of pain relief. It is in their jeans.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: RangerJoe

Something to think about:

quote:

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."

Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."

The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."

Jack took the money.

Politically incorrect! Unfair to blondes! Why don't brunettes and redheads get equal mention in your jokes?

It is a known fact that genetically, redheads are a pain . . .

As a redhead, I will make your prophecy self-fulfilling

It is a known fact that redheads need 20 percent more pain relievers to get the same amount of pain relief. It is in their jeans.

My jeans? Nothing comes between me and Brooke Shields' jeans.

quote:

ORIGINAL: USSAmerica

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apollo11

Hi all,

quote:

ORIGINAL: USSAmerica

Got my last errand completed early this morning. My wife and I are now able to stay away from other humans for up to 5-6 weeks if we stretch our food a bit. We are very fortunate in our situation and my job. Still hoping it won't come to that, but "have it and not need it" is the order of the day in the USS America household.

I hope all of my Thread Brothers and your families are safe, healthy, and able to stay that way!

Please take care Mike and all our other forumites!

BTW, I told you that you were extremely lucky that your cruise was aborted... you would have been in big trouble if you traveled on that cruise ship...


Leo "Apollo11"

You are quite right about our cruise, Leo.

How are things with you and your family?