I am sure there have been made jokes about some weapons. Does anyone know any? I'll start with BattleMechs
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While racing light mechs, Urbanmech comes in second place, but only because it ran out of ammo.
This might need bit explaining. Urbanmech is in light weight category (up to 35 tons), but it is well armoured and armed for its weight, but it is extremely slow.
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Head tech gets confused and mounts legs on Scorpion tank while putting treads on Scorpion 'Mech. No one really notices.
Scorpion is name for light tank but it's also name for four-legged BattleMech.
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You know what they say, don't you? About how us MechWarriors are the modern knights, how warfare has become civilized now that we have to abide by conventions and rules of war. Don't believe it.
There are two about the real-world ground attack aircraft, the A-10 Warthog.
The first is that it is so slow, in place of the speed indicator it has a calendar.
The second explains that the back window of the cockpit has been armored, in order to protect the pilot against birds overtaking the aircraft that might crash into that window.
Now this is what I am talking about! Here's another one about A-10
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Let's face it, the A-10 doesn't 'fly'; it stares down gravity until it runs into a corner sobbing and then, due to sheer badassery, the air decides to get out of its way.
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You know what they say, don't you? About how us MechWarriors are the modern knights, how warfare has become civilized now that we have to abide by conventions and rules of war. Don't believe it.
Now this is what I am talking about! Here's another one about A-10
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Let's face it, the A-10 doesn't 'fly'; it stares down gravity until it runs into a corner sobbing and then, due to sheer badassery, the air decides to get out of its way.
That reminds me... (stolen from another forum):
"Helicopters don´t fly. They beat the air into submission."
Not sure if this counts as a joke, but there is the opinion of - IIRC - U. S. Grant about muskets:
"At 125 yards, you can shoot these at somebody all day, and he won´t notice."
"The M-16 is designed to pin a man down behind a tree at 200 yards.... the FN C1 is designed to cut through the tree at 1000 yards."
Words of my Sargent during rifle training at basic....
< Message edited by Barthheart -- 9/28/2007 5:20:59 PM >
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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty & well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming "WOW, what a ride!"
My dad was army, he eventually retired after 22 years service. I was Marine Corps. When I forst joined we had the M16A1 rifle. I qualified on it at Camp Pendleton in Boot Camp. The range there goes to 500 meters ( or did when I was there anyway) When I told my dad my best line on the range was the 500 meter range he told me that was impossible because the army said the M16A1 had an effective range of 460 meters. Now that was a GOOD Joke.
I would just like to point out that there is no truth whatsoever in the rumour that the British Ministry of Defence refered to the decision to join the Americans in Afganistan and Iraq as the British Army's Modernization and Reequipment initiative.
Neither is it true that British Army units in Iraq refer to American ammo and supply dumps as MaRs Bars.
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ORIGINAL: Twotribes
My dad was army, he eventually retired after 22 years service. I was Marine Corps. When I forst joined we had the M16A1 rifle. I qualified on it at Camp Pendleton in Boot Camp. The range there goes to 500 meters ( or did when I was there anyway) When I told my dad my best line on the range was the 500 meter range he told me that was impossible because the army said the M16A1 had an effective range of 460 meters. Now that was a GOOD Joke.
I am laughing now at the comp because I qualified on the M16A1 at Camp Pendleton also in 85.
That joke about the invisible Lutwaffle was hilarious!
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The first C-119 made its initial flight in November 1947, and by the time production ceased in 1955, more than 1,100 C-119s had been built.
Those things are still in use?
What kind of weapon is FM C1? I can't find anything about it
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You know what they say, don't you? About how us MechWarriors are the modern knights, how warfare has become civilized now that we have to abide by conventions and rules of war. Don't believe it.
Wonderful weapon... but heavy..... at least I remember it being heavy when I was a scrawny little 18 yr old....
< Message edited by Barthheart -- 10/3/2007 3:50:42 PM >
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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty & well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, totally worn out & proclaiming "WOW, what a ride!"
Inspired by the P-47 (which was large and heavy for a fighter, and needed a long runway), one pilot said "If the Army built a runway that goes all the way around the world, Republic [the manufacturer of the P-47] would design an aircraft that cannot take off from that runway."
We were told the best way to clear a room of enemy during close quarter fighting with this weapon was to cock it, throw it in the room and run away.
True story, I was on the range , got the order to fire single shot with the sterling, 5 round per exposure. I squeezed the trigger and released, Braaap! All 30 rounds gone. Ofcourse the range control officer was freakin hehe
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ORIGINAL: gunny
Sterling Submachine Gun
We were told the best way to clear a room of enemy during close quarter fighting with this weapon was to cock it, throw it in the room and run away.
True story, I was on the range , got the order to fire single shot with the sterling, 5 round per exposure. I squeezed the trigger and released, Braaap! All 30 rounds gone. Ofcourse the range control officer was freakin hehe
On the firing range with Sterling SMGs GI (Gunnery Instructor) sees baby artificer holding said gun with left gun on magazine instead of on the barrel guard and says (very loudly), "W ho do you think you are, Captain f@*&%^$% Hurricane?"
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I believe it was named for the defense minister who authorized it's construction. Wasn't greeted with enthusiasm by all staff officers in the French Army. ( among them was DeGaule)
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I believe it was named for the defense minister who authorized it's construction. Wasn't greeted with enthusiasm by all staff officers in the French Army. ( among them was DeGaule)
LOL... that is almost as funny as the Joke. 105mm, this is a joke thread. The "Question" was, "What does Maginot Line mean in French?" and the "answer" was "Speed Bump Ahead."
Admittedly, not a GOOD joke... but looks like you need to comb your hair a little higher to catch it from flying over!
SoM
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ORIGINAL: Son_of_Montfort
What does "Maginot Line" mean in French?
"Speed bump ahead."
The funniest ones have a ring of truth....which this one doesn't!!
Of course eth line did exactly what it was intended to do....the Germans did not attack across eth frontier!!
Maginot was the guy in chage when it was built - it was designed befoer he held office.
And of course as with many such massive investments, it's purpose by the time it was "in use" was quite different to that intended. It was intended to delay a German invasion while armies of manouvre mobilised behind it and moved up to fill it out.
By the late 1930's it was seen as an invulnerable whiled....which is was never intended to be and probably would not have been had hte Germans attacked - without mobile formations to counterattack and penetrations it would possibly have been over-run quite easily!
But that theory was never tested.....the Americans still found it a problem attacking it from the rear in 1944 at Metz tho!!
And more fun about BattleMechs. What do we get when we replace an destroyed nuclear fusion engine of an assault 'Mech (80-100 tons) with an internal combustion engine? Answers behind following links: Mediocre Mudzilla Indeed!
< Message edited by Matti Kuokkanen -- 11/25/2007 3:29:32 PM >
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You know what they say, don't you? About how us MechWarriors are the modern knights, how warfare has become civilized now that we have to abide by conventions and rules of war. Don't believe it.
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