pasternakski
Posts: 6565
Joined: 6/29/2002
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: USS America
Today has been proclaimed "Take Time to Develop Yourself" day at work.
Ah, "self-development." Reminds me of the time back in eighth grade when my pal Bill passed along some advice to Linda (I mean, we all rode the same bus together - and it wasn't the short bus (at least, I don't think it was) - so we had to pass the time somehow, right?
Anyway, Linda was very cute, but - to be gentle about it - flat as a board. So Bill says to her, "Linda, I know how you can fix your problem. Every night, get some lard on your hands and play with 'em for an hour. But don't use shortening."
Ah, good old Bill. We called him "banger" because he loved to run cars into things (his number one hobby after high school was demolition derby). He had a 1954 Buick we used to go out drinkin' beer in, and Bill was always looking for something to run over. His favorite target was this one stop sign at a rural railroad crossing. He'd hit that sucker at about 30-35 mph, and BLAM! The 4x4 post would shatter and the sign would go flying off into the darkness. Bill would laugh, take another pull of Old Milwaukee, and head off like a growling motorized Zorro after sneaking away with the Federales' gold or a kiss or something.
One night, though, ole Banger hit that sign, and she didn't budge. Just rattled a little and stood right there. I was shotgun, and, after making sure I was still in one piece and had most of my teeth, I hopped out to see what the deal was.
Seems the county or the RR had gotten tired of replacing that sign, so they buried a railroad tie vertically in the ground and set the sign post in front of it in concrete. I hopped back in and gave Bill the bad news. "And ya buggered up the bumper and grille pretty bad, too."
Well. Bill was not a man to accept defeat lightly. He put the old Buick in reverse and backed her up about a hundred yards, then slammed 'er into drive and hit the gas. All the rest of us could do was hit the deck and find somethin' to hang onto.
BAM! I looke up over the dash to see that stop sign wobble back and forth, then fall over to the side out of the headlights (which were now kinda pointed toward each other at funny angles). Old Banger gave out an Iowegian version of the rebel yell, backed 'er up, and headed for the barn, steam coming up over the hood and all kinds of horrible scraping and squealing noises comong from the engine compartment.
We all had to drink a cold one to Banger that night.
< Message edited by pasternakski -- 2/25/2010 9:26:52 PM >
_____________________________
Put my faith in the people
And the people let me down.
So, I turned the other way,
And I carry on anyhow.
|
Printable Version
RE: THE THREAD!!! - 
. 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread