Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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********Ad Hoc, I Amphib Corps, Joint Air Operations and Air Hockey Center, Noum...err..I mean New Edinburgh, 07:20, Feb. 15, 1942******** Maj. Tyndall (USAAF), CO 2nd BS(M) and acting CIC, I Amphib Corps, Joint Air Operations and Air Hockey Center:...<at podium in briefing room, there is a large crucifix behind him which is partly obscured by a map of New Caledo...err..I mean..New Scotland. In fact, the cord supporting the map is wrapped around Jesus' hands. If you look around the room, which you can't because I made it up...but if you could you would see that the briefing room is a small chapel with whitewashed plaster walls. Quite beautiful, really. I know what you are thinking, sacreligious you say? Sure, but Maj. Tyndall, is not a religious man, at least not after that nun slapped him the face in front of the 5th grade class at Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt for groping Mary Jane's prematurely ample bosom. She was beautiful...Mary Jane, I mean, not the nun. Mary Jane changed her name and now works for Mr. Howard Hughes making movies. You think her bosom was ample in 5th grade? Madre de Dios! You wouldn't believe me if I told you. And this is before silicone too. Where was I? Oh yes, the briefing...> ....Captain Steubing will finish the intel briefing on today's antishipping operations but I wanted to talk about a shift of focus beginning tomorrow. Tomorrow, we go after the port at Kou...er...I mean New Ullapool. <he nods to a Sargeant who drops a canvas on an easel which is supported by a statue of a minor saint....oh..I don't know...Saint Agnes of Las Vegas. Revealed is a enlarged recon photograph of a 75 ft wooden jetty which is missing about 25% of its planks> THIS! Is the port of New Ullapool. THIS, is what YOU are going to destroy. G2 figures if we knock this down, the Japs will keep trying to repair it and will never get the airfield done. Any questions? Pilot1: Sir, how do we know the Japs won't work on the airfield at the same time? Maj. Tyndall (USAAF), CO 2nd BS(M) and acting CIC, I Amphib Corps, Joint Air Operations and Air Hockey Center: <looks toward aide> The Naval Treaty of 1925, I think..or it might be a House Rule..I'm not sure. You will just have to trust me on this. Pilot2: Sir, we've been training on Naval Attack missions in the B-26. We haven't really attacked anything that is not moving. Do we just fly right over it and push the button when it is right below us? Pilot3: Lt., that won't work. The wind will blow it off target. Pilot4: Well, how about we do what Lt. Kowalski suggested and then somebody yells "NOW" over the radio and we all drop at once. How could we miss? <a heated discussion develops over the fine points of level bombing> Maj. Tyndall (USAAF), CO 2nd BS(M) and acting CIC, I Amphib Corps, Joint Air Operations and Air Hockey Center: <leans over to his aide Cpt. Steubing and says quietly> Steubing, see if that equipment supplier with the linen slacks and Hawaiian shirt does ordnance too. We are going to need some "retarded" bombs.
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