Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
|
***************Temporary Regional Office, M&M Enterprises, Waikanapura, New Zealand, July 9, 1942************** Young mand in fine linen slacks, feet up on fine desk, phone in hand:...This is Mr. M. ..... Ah, good to speak to you sir, how can I help you? .... uhhh hmmm....uhh hmmm....Hit? I imagine you don't mean including him in a quartet with the Andrew's Sisters? .... Yes..well..I wonder if a less energetic remedy might do. How about a career-ending scandal? We are offering a discount on those. ..... Splenid! Let me get out the price chart and I will give you a quote. <shuffles some papers in pretense> Right, married? .... Oh no, not you, I mean the target. ..... Right, that is a big discount there. Married men are much easier to scandalize. OK, aristocrat? .... Oh, commoner. I'm afraid there is a surcharge then. Location? .... Eastern Fleet HQ, Ceylon??? Oh dear. That is quite a distance. What say I give you the South Asia rate? ... Splendid! Normally this would come to $5000 US, but the July 4 special rate brings it down to $4500. 50% up front, 50% upon completion. Cashiers check to Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, Spring St., Los Angeles, Attention "special projects". Now, we will need the subjects name? .... Binns Minor? Which is the first name? .... Ah. A hyphen then? .... Very well, no hyphen. We will get right on it when the deposit is recieved. Thank you sir. <hangs up and begins talking to the secretary> A hit over that? Some people just have no moral compass.
|