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RE: Bernard Law - 1/23/2011 9:12:18 PM

stuman

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From: Elvis' Hometown
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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

Bad news...my daughter's new boyfriend rides a motorcycle

The best thing I can say about my daughter's bf is that he doesn't have a motorcycle.

I have five sisters. They were all teenagers at the same time.

As soon as he's been dead long enough, my dad is a shoe-in for sainthood.

Wow, how did you and your father make it out with your sanity intact ?

Or am I assuming too much

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Post #: 3631

RE: Bernard Law - 1/23/2011 9:40:10 PM

witpqs

Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
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quote:

ORIGINAL: stuman

quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

Bad news...my daughter's new boyfriend rides a motorcycle

The best thing I can say about my daughter's bf is that he doesn't have a motorcycle.

I have five sisters. They were all teenagers at the same time.

As soon as he's been dead long enough, my dad is a shoe-in for sainthood.

Wow, how did you and your father make it out with your sanity intact ?

Or am I assuming too much

(in reply to stuman)

Post #: 3632

RE: Bernard Law - 1/23/2011 9:40:38 PM

witpqs

Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nemo121

And for bonus points...

3) so did (most of) their boyfriends

Always good to have a spare miracle in hand when going for sainthood.

Good point!

(in reply to Nemo121)

Post #: 3633

RE: Bernard Law - 1/23/2011 9:42:21 PM

witpqs

Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alfred

Ah yes, but to qualify as a miracle it must not be possible to explain it on medical grounds etc.

In your father's case, maybe he survived by turning to the comfort of the bottle, or he became both deaf and blind.

I'd also like some evidence adduced to support your claim your sisters survived their teens. Unscathed, still in control of all their facilities etc.

Alfred

Hah! You're such a kidder!

(in reply to Alfred)

Post #: 3634

RE: Bernard Law - 1/23/2011 10:07:05 PM

Mynok

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quote:

wearing diapers

You captured pilot trainees?

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Post #: 3635

RE: Bernard Law - 1/24/2011 12:50:19 PM

Itdepends

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Joined: 12/12/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I found the leak about 4 1/2 feet underground. A piece of 1 1/2 pvc backed out of an elbow because it had too much torsion on it. I will have to cook up something with 6 elbows to get some degree of freedom. A professional would laugh at my scheme but I am not going to dig up another 5 or 6 feet of line at 4 1/2 feet deep with a million tree roots.

Couldn't you use an expandable coupling (slip fix)? The ones we get here are made in the USA- I assume they'd be available over there

http://www.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://reticonline.com.au/cw135/images/large/slipfix_LRG.jpg&imgrefurl=http://reticonline.com.au/cw135/index.php%3Fmain_page%3Dproduct_info%26products_id%3D215&h=204&w=700&sz=9&tbnid=RNOeXXghUZjyNM:&tbnh=41&tbnw=140&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpvc%2Bpipe%2Bexpandable%2Bcoupling%2Bpicture&zoom=1&q=pvc+pipe+expandable+coupling+picture&hl=en&usg=__zslpzvKzRiu5Cbs-xqghvRtIDMw=&sa=X&ei=SHU9Tdv5CsTNrQeI9pCuCA&ved=0CB4Q9QEwAw

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Post #: 3636

RE: Bernard Law - 1/24/2011 2:44:23 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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As the turn is not back yet we will continue the AE plumbing thread.

It turned out, after I dug half way down to Sian, the failed section was actually a stub. A Tee, two elbows, 15 inches of pipe and then a cap.

The original contractor 20 years ago must have been paid by the joint (PVC not hemp). Anyway, that was realtively easy to fix once identified. Then I had to fix the main 1 1/2 line to the front yard which I had cut and capped for diagnostic purposes. Once cut, the whole spaghetti assembly settled about 1/2 inch and therefore was no longer co-linear (I think it was a combination of soil compaction, gophers, squirrels, tree roots and global warming/cooling). Rather than restore the tension, I used 4 elbows to make a Rube Goldberg fitting. We shall see. I let it cure over night. This line is at the street pressure, which is about 160 PSI (way to high). When a fitting lets go it sounds like an artillery round being fired. I wouldn't trust a compression fitting. When I pressurize this thing today I am literally going to lie down on the ground so I dont kill myself.

Took me about 2 1/2 hrs counting trips to the hardware store.

(in reply to Itdepends)

Post #: 3637

RE: Bernard Law - 1/24/2011 3:23:51 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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Guys;

This is Mrs. Mandrake. The "Captain" isn't going to be around for a while. Unbenownst to me he was "laying pipe", there was a loud noise and he staggered inside with a piece of plastic pipe sticking out of his forhead. I figured I would take a break from Farmville and Facebook to tell you. In lieu of flowers please send money.

He couldn't tell me his password but he is such an old goat that he pretty much uses the same password for everything. Now I am going to read through this and make sure he didn't say anything bad about me. I am beginning to think the prenuptial was a bad idea.

Mrs. Mandrake

PS. I spelled "prenuptial" wrong but so does everyone.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/24/2011 3:33:23 PM >

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Post #: 3638

RE: Bernard Law - 1/24/2011 3:44:56 PM

sprior

Posts: 8596
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From: Portsmouth, UK
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We really need a turn.

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"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

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Post #: 3639

RE: Bernard Law - 1/24/2011 4:34:21 PM

Chickenboy

Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Guys;

This is Mrs. Mandrake. The "Captain" isn't going to be around for a while. Unbenownst to me he was "laying pipe", there was a loud noise and he staggered inside with a piece of plastic pipe sticking out of his forhead. I figured I would take a break from Farmville and Facebook to tell you. In lieu of flowers please send money.

He couldn't tell me his password but he is such an old goat that he pretty much uses the same password for everything. Now I am going to read through this and make sure he didn't say anything bad about me. I am beginning to think the prenuptial was a bad idea.

Mrs. Mandrake

PS. I spelled "prenuptial" wrong but so does everyone.

Dear Mrs. Mandrake,

Your reputation preceeds you on this forum.

Please let us know if you are in need of any services whilest your husband is in hospital. I'm somewhat certain that there are a goodly number of forumites that are more versed in 'laying pipe' than your husband that live in So.Cal. With the friendly and open nature of so many of these gents, I'm sure they'd be happy to help out around your home in the interim.

Best wishes always,

Chickenboy.

_____________________________

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Post #: 3640

RE: Bernard Law - 1/24/2011 4:37:53 PM

Grollub

Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/9/2005
From: Lulea, Sweden
Status: offline

God I can't say this too many times - I simply love these forums

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Post #: 3641

RE: Bernard Law - 1/24/2011 7:07:42 PM

Smeulders

Posts: 1879
Joined: 8/9/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Guys;

This is Mrs. Mandrake. The "Captain" isn't going to be around for a while. Unbenownst to me he was "laying pipe", there was a loud noise and he staggered inside with a piece of plastic pipe sticking out of his forhead. I figured I would take a break from Farmville and Facebook to tell you. In lieu of flowers please send money.

He couldn't tell me his password but he is such an old goat that he pretty much uses the same password for everything. Now I am going to read through this and make sure he didn't say anything bad about me. I am beginning to think the prenuptial was a bad idea.

Mrs. Mandrake

PS. I spelled "prenuptial" wrong but so does everyone.

Dear Mrs. Mandrake,

Your reputation preceeds you on this forum.

Please let us know if you are in need of any services whilest your husband is in hospital. I'm somewhat certain that there are a goodly number of forumites that are more versed in 'laying pipe' than your husband that live in So.Cal. With the friendly and open nature of so many of these gents, I'm sure they'd be happy to help out around your home in the interim.

Best wishes always,

Chickenboy.

Is it a coincidence that I was reading an onion article on "laying pipe" but a few hours ago ?

(in reply to Chickenboy)

Post #: 3642

RE: Bernard Law - 1/24/2011 7:07:49 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline

Dear Chickenboy;

Thank you for your kind offer. Fortunately, the doctors don't think Captain Mandrake's epic pipe-laying ability will be affected. It seems the PVC glue didn't stick to the titanium plate he has in his skull.

I was somewhat unhappy to learn that my Christams gift didn't have the ceramic band because the bastard told me it did.

Mrs. Mandrake

PS...he asks that "Johnny Jap" (whoever that is) please send the turn

(in reply to Grollub)

Post #: 3643

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 5:46:14 AM

dekwik

Posts: 90
Joined: 9/22/2007
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Hi Mrs. Mandrake:

I hate to break it to you but the Cap seems to be a less than ideal husband. I'll save you some time (and the need to wade through a lot of drivel). Just look up post 3160 and 3138 or starters. And there's plenty more where that came from.

Now it seems to me that a woman of your talents should be treated a little better than that. Kinda Special. Like a lady. I've a business trip planned to SoCal next week. What say you and I hook up for a few hours? I know a really nice Italian place. Checkerboard table cloths, Chianti bottles with the candles in them. Fishing nets on the wall. Very classy. I'm a good listener.

PS. I'm a SWM, mid forties, height proportionate to weight (way more athletic than most of the guys posting in this forum).

PPS. please send picture.

PPPS. I'm not sure who that Johnny J character is, but Cap seems to know a lot about him.....

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 3644

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 10:38:00 AM

Itdepends

Posts: 937
Joined: 12/12/2005
Status: offline

I'm a bit worried about you guys- does laying pipe mean something of a sexual nature over your way?
Because here it means ........how can I put this delicately...... extruding a prodigous quantity of solid waste from your nether regions, preferably in on contiguous section.

(in reply to dekwik)

Post #: 3645

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 12:49:44 PM

bigred

Posts: 3599
Joined: 12/27/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Itdepends

I'm a bit worried about you guys- does laying pipe mean something of a sexual nature over your way?
Because here it means ........how can I put this delicately...... extruding a prodigous quantity of solid waste from your nether regions, preferably in�on contiguous section.

Yes, I would recommend definitions be established for "pipe laying " versus "bottom dwelling".

(in reply to Itdepends)

Post #: 3646

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 12:53:39 PM

sprior

Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline

We REALLY need a turn.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

(in reply to bigred)

Post #: 3647

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 2:38:17 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline

OK...I'm back. Docs said I should be more careful laying pipe.

Anything happen while I was gone?

Say, I don't suppose anyone said anything about that watch I bought Stalker Girl for Christmas? She is asking a lot of questions.

(in reply to sprior)

Post #: 3648

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 2:47:06 PM

khyberbill

Posts: 1941
Joined: 9/11/2007
From: new milford, ct
Status: offline

What watch?

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Post #: 3649

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 2:47:58 PM

Roger Neilson II

Posts: 1517
Joined: 7/16/2006
From: Newcastle upon Tyne. England
Status: offline

Where's the emergency button for 'SEND A TURN NOW'?

Roger

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Post #: 3650

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 3:05:28 PM

Roger Neilson II

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From: Newcastle upon Tyne. England
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Aha, found it.....

Attachment (1)

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Post #: 3651

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 3:10:20 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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SANTA MARIA, MADRE DE DIOS!

I just read back a bit. You guys are a bunch of animals! If the Hyenas ever had a fraternity they would kick you out for moral turpitude.

I had this big WITP/AE LAN party and sleepover planned with three big screens to play The Pacific, punch, camouflage party favors even hired some Andrews Sisters impersonators. That is SOOOOOO cancelled. I am really quite disappointed.

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Post #: 3652

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 3:12:07 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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I am sending an email to Admirar Rord Nerson now to see what the problem is.

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Post #: 3653

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 4:08:30 PM

Chickenboy

Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...I'm back. Docs said I should be more careful laying pipe.

Anything happen while I was gone?

Say, I don't suppose anyone said anything about that watch I bought Stalker Girl for Christmas? She is asking a lot of questions.

This watch?

"I got something for ya. [Holds up watch] This watch I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first world war..."

_____________________________

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Post #: 3654

RE: how to treat a lady - 1/25/2011 4:12:35 PM

Chickenboy

Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Itdepends

I'm a bit worried about you guys- does laying pipe mean something of a sexual nature over your way?
Because here it means ........how can I put this delicately...... extruding a prodigous quantity of solid waste from your nether regions, preferably in�on contiguous section.

No.

Round these parts, such activities are referred to as, 'dropping kids off at the pool, cutting wolf bait, heaving a Havana, dropping a log or taking a dump'. For those Trekkies in the audience-'going to Uranus to fight the Klingons' is a suitable missive.

Hope this helps.

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Post #: 3655

RE: Bernard Law - 1/25/2011 4:31:59 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
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Come on Admirar Rord Nerson. We need your help, prease.

I wonder if they have a position for English/American translator at the UN? The potential for a diplomatic incident due to misunderstanding is significant.

(in reply to stuman)

Post #: 3656

RE: Bernard Law - 1/25/2011 4:38:34 PM

Alfred

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Joined: 9/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Come on Admirar Rord Nerson. We need your help, prease.

I wonder if they have a position for English/American translator at the UN? The potential for a diplomatic incident due to misunderstanding is significant.

Not before San Francisco 1945.

You could try League of Nations. They might have a vacancy for an English translator but will definitely have no vacancy for an American translator due to absolutely no demand for Americanese at Geneva.

Suggest you try British embassy at Washington. Perhaps they could assign someone from their equipment purchasing or Lend Lease co-ordination team to help out with the translating.

Alfred

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 3657

RE: Bernard Law - 1/25/2011 5:12:59 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline

Maybe a screenshot will calm the savage beasts.

Attachment (1)

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Post #: 3658

RE: Bernard Law - 1/25/2011 5:27:33 PM

Cap Mandrake

Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline

Even Jap merchantmen are dangerous. I cant figure out where their tanker traffic is.

Attachment (1)

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Post #: 3659

RE: Bernard Law - 1/25/2011 5:29:11 PM

Alfred

Posts: 6685
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

Have you tried back tracking from where the ambergris was found. Taking into account the currents, tides, wind blah blah, they could find the whales. Where the whales are, there should be Japanese harpooners. See if you can find a Captain Ahab, he will be particularly motivated in the search.

Alfred

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 3660