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RE: Bernard Law - 1/26/2011 5:58:15 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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By ra way...I am pretty sure Favre doesn't pronounce it correctly either...but it is his name...and he is part Cajun

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Post #: 3691
RE: Bernard Law - 1/26/2011 8:42:31 PM   
stuman


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

quote:


The "light industry" is "11" at Noumea. I wonder what they are making.


Lights.


You were sexting or reading sports scores during class, weren't you?

I didn't realize Brett Favre was a follower of this, the world's worstTM AAR!


One time, before they threw me out for counting cards, I was invted to this big Super Bowl party at the Mirage in LV. Everything is free. Free call drinks, free buffet with crab legs and prime rib, half naked women all over the place, big screens. The game was lousy but otherwise it was a blast. Betting on every rdiciulous thing you could imagine, first punt, first first down yada, yada.

So at half time they have a free raffle and are giving away really cool sports stuff, historic baseball cards, lots of signed stuff. Finally they pull out a Packers helmet, worn by a famous Packer in a big game. They have this 20 something 10/10 blonde with silicone enhancement announcing the prizes...."Here is a Green Bay Packer helmet worn in.. (I think it was a Pro-Bowl but I'm not sure..she didn't say that I just can't remember the game)...and personally autographed by................<15-20 second pause>............BRETT FAVOR*


* It just occured to me the Favre incident might have been at a New Years Eve party but I did go to a really cool Super Bowl party there...I think the Chargers were playing. I am blanking on where the Favre thing was given out but I am sure about the blonde part and there were definitely half naked women at the Super Bowl thing.


A favorite phrase of mine.

_____________________________

" Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room. " President Muffley


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Post #: 3692
RE: Bernard Law - 1/27/2011 4:02:36 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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***********July 13, 1942************


Fiji: 56 Zero sorties over Suva today. 22 P-39's rose to meet them and got hammered. That has to be at least 2 carriers..or is it possible that they are carrier planes operating from Tanna...could they even reach Suva? The poor P-39 squadrons are getting ground into aluminum dust, though the pilots are doing pretty well. I have to throw in the Marine F4F squadrons. I wanted to use them on the carriers but I can't let the Japs shut down Suva airfield. Another F4F squadron flew in from the Samoan Is. Two full strenth VMF squadrons will be added to the CAP. I brought in another understrength squadron of B-17's ane we will try a raid on Noumea today to keep JJ honest. Maybe we can kill some Bettys on the ground. This might be a good time to send in a carrier raid but two US carriers are at Sydney getting there new AAA suites.

Oscars swept over Nadi followed by some Sallys which destroyed a PBY. Nadi was bombarded at night by Suzuya, Nachi, and Myoko and two CL's. This was moderately effective, also destroying a PBY. This makes 5 CA's shuttling in and out to Nadi. PT-22 is ordered back to Nadi by itself. Maybe the skipper can run for President some day if he doesn't get killed.

800 WJD's KIA at Suva today. They are said to be "surrounded". No kidding. Looks like curtains for them soon.




Attachment (1)

(in reply to stuman)
Post #: 3693
RE: Bernard Law - 1/27/2011 4:07:47 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Stalker Girl bought me some slacks for work yesterday. I thought it was really a nice gesture until I realized they were "Expand to Fit".


I think she is still mad about the fake ceramic watch band.

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Post #: 3694
RE: Bernard Law - 1/27/2011 4:08:33 PM   
Chickenboy


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A6M2 sweep range with drop tanks is 11/14 (normal/extended).

ETA: What's your status in China?


< Message edited by Chickenboy -- 1/27/2011 4:10:30 PM >


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Post #: 3695
RE: Bernard Law - 1/27/2011 5:04:44 PM   
Chickenboy


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On an unrelated note, I unearthed arcana from my basement whilest sifting through boxes of old military books for donation. I had forgotten that I had a bound edition of The Journal of Irreproducible Results. A real gem.

To whit re: "A Short Guide to Doctors: Pediatricians"-

"All pedi-pods, as they are called on the wards, act and look like Peter Pan. They wear saddle-shoes and bow ties, have cherubic faces, and wear crew cuts or pageboys, depending on whether they are over thirty. They never use words longer than two syllables or sentences of more than four words. Generally, they sound as though they are doing Jonathan Winters imitations. Many have a lilting gait, and a few skip during clinic. About the age of forty they lose patience with all those frantic mothers and either commit suicide, go into research or start child labor camps."

_____________________________


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Post #: 3696
RE: Bernard Law - 1/27/2011 5:18:54 PM   
Mynok


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I need to send that to my wife. That'll get the NICU in an uproar.

_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

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Post #: 3697
RE: Bernard Law - 1/27/2011 5:39:14 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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I actually do have some "saddle shoes"...but they have golf cleats in them.


Three doctors are out hunting together in a blind.

A duck comes by and the internist stands up and says, "Duck, rule out chicken, rule out goose...BLAM!"

Another duck comes by and the psychiatrist stands up and says, "How does it feel to be a duck......BLAM!"

A third duck comes by and the surgeon stands up, "BLAM...what was that?"

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Post #: 3698
RE: Bernard Law - 1/27/2011 5:52:24 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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This reminds me of a brilliant medical hypothesis advanced by a not so brilliant but hilarious surgeon I know. I call his theorum the "******* hypothesis". I don't want to infringe on copyrights so let's just say he is named after a European country and it isn't Latvia.


The hypothesis goes something like this: "Look at a woman's feet, if they are well maintained you can pretty much be sure her hygeine and attention to detail in other body parts will be good as well, if not...l.well then...."

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Post #: 3699
RE: Bernard Law - 1/27/2011 8:24:02 PM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok


I need to send that to my wife. That'll get the NICU in an uproar.

All specialties (save pathology) are listed accordingly with similar descriptors.

_____________________________


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Post #: 3700
RE: Bernard Law - 1/27/2011 10:31:55 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

A6M2 sweep range with drop tanks is 11/14 (normal/extended).



Santa Maria! Why didn't someone tell me. Then those really were carrier zeroes flying from Tanna No wonder I cant spot any carriers.

The other interesting upshot of this is, based on recon of 95-100 fighters there, virtually every fighter on Tanna flew a sweep mission on the 13th. This means we can hit Tanna with the 17's with little risk.

DOH!



quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ETA: What's your status in China?



I am taller than 99.99% and my nose is bigger than 92%





< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/27/2011 10:51:11 PM >

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Post #: 3701
RE: Bernard Law - 1/28/2011 7:41:55 AM   
stuman


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I actually do have some "saddle shoes"...but they have golf cleats in them.


Three doctors are out hunting together in a blind.

A duck comes by and the internist stands up and says, "Duck, rule out chicken, rule out goose...BLAM!"

Another duck comes by and the psychiatrist stands up and says, "How does it feel to be a duck......BLAM!"

A third duck comes by and the surgeon stands up, "BLAM...what was that?"



I have some clients that will enjoy this

_____________________________

" Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room. " President Muffley


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3702
RE: Bernard Law - 1/28/2011 3:34:40 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Bah..no turn.

So this 14 yr old kid comes in for his high school sports physical yesterday and, naturally, the form requires me to certify he has no hernia because that's what D,C&H told them to put on the form (along with the date of Smallpox vaccination which has been done in 30 yrs).

So he drops trow and I tell him to "turn his head to the right and cough". He reaches down, grabs his unit and pulls it over to one side and coughs. I thought it was a bit odd...but I've got work to do so I tell him to "Turn your head to the left and cough please" and he yanks his unit way over to his left and coughs....and THEN I realized we had was a "failure to communicate"

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 1/28/2011 3:35:03 PM >

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Post #: 3703
RE: Bernard Law - 1/28/2011 3:41:48 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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I forget if I told this story. There is a federal law now called HIPPA which pertains to health records and privacy and allows for preposterous fines so we did away with our sign-in sheet in the front office and put up a sheet of ID stickers on a clipboard. The patient is instructed to write his/her name and phone number on the sticker and give it back to the receptionist who then adds it to the arrived list behind the counter in a secure location.

My genius nephew, who is a PhD candidate in biomedical engineering, came in and was given the clipboard. He wrote in big letters "Hi I'm Robert" <not real name> and stuck it on his shirt. So much for HIPPA compliance.

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Post #: 3704
RE: Bernard Law - 1/28/2011 3:50:08 PM   
Joe D.


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I forget if I told this story. There is a federal law now called HIPPA which pertains to health records and privacy and allows for preposterous fines ...


Although well-intentioned, like so many other gov't mandates, HIPPA has caused more problems that it was worth: just try getting a patient update, even in person and even if you're a blood relative.

_____________________________

Stratford, Connecticut, U.S.A.

"The Angel of Okinawa"

Home of the Chance-Vought Corsair, F4U
The best fighter-bomber of World War II

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Post #: 3705
RE: Bernard Law - 1/28/2011 6:54:36 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Joe D.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I forget if I told this story. There is a federal law now called HIPPA which pertains to health records and privacy and allows for preposterous fines ...


Although well-intentioned, like so many other gov't mandates, HIPPA has caused more problems that it was worth: just try getting a patient update, even in person and even if you're a blood relative.



Sir, I reject you characterization of the worth of government programs. I can name many that have worked as promised....why there was the......ummmm......oh, how about the......perhaps not........I'll get back to you.

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Post #: 3706
RE: Bernard Law - 1/28/2011 7:03:38 PM   
Dixie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy
What's your status in China?



I've heard that Sprior has a rather nice tea set.




Attachment (1)

_____________________________



Bigger boys stole my sig

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Post #: 3707
RE: Bernard Law - 1/28/2011 7:41:27 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dixie


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy
What's your status in China?



I've heard that Sprior has a rather nice tea set.





Why, that's lovely, simply lovely.


I thought of a government program that delivered as promised, the Manhattan Project. Even better, it wasn't over budget because it didn't have a budget.

(in reply to Dixie)
Post #: 3708
RE: Bernard Law - 1/28/2011 8:35:09 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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****************July 14, 1942**********

Oz: There are, all of a sudden, 19,000 WJD's and a bunch of guns at Darwin, this might be a whole Jap division. There are also 1-2 AK/AP's. We don't know if they are coming or going or just moved up for garrison duty. A nest of RNN and USN subs are lurking about trying to kill ships coming or going from Darwin. If the troop number declines then we know they were leaving.

Port Headland has only a few Aux aricraft, probably recon.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 3709
RE: Bernard Law - 1/28/2011 8:49:20 PM   
Chickenboy


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Any chance of talking you out of a direct assault on Darwin? IMHO, there's better options for you up in N. Oz than jumping onto a hex with some 20k WJDs on it.

_____________________________


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Post #: 3710
RE: Bernard Law - 1/28/2011 10:18:36 PM   
Chickenboy


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Non-sequitor du jour whilest awaiting another turn.

From the Journal of Irreproducible Results.  "The Varieties of Psychotherapeutic Experience", Robert S. Hoffman, M.D.:

Freudian:
Patient: I could use a ham on rye, hold the mustard.
Therapist: It's evident that a quantity of libidinal striving has been displaced to a regressive object with relative fixation in the anal-sadistic model.
Patient:  What do you suggest?
Therapist:  Perhaps a valve-job and tune-up.

Rogerian:
P:  Sh**! Do I feel sh**y!
T:  Sounds like you feel sh**y.
P:  Why are you parroting me?
T:  You seem concerned about me parroting you.
P:  What the hell is going on here?
T:  You sound confused.

Now back to the different types of physicians...also from THoIR: John J. Secondi, M.D.

The Psychiatrist:
Spotting a psychiatrist on the street is easy enough, but as he wanders on the wards of a state hospital, he may need a name tag.  Psychiatrists either avert their eyes from you or stare right through you, whichever makes you more uncomfortable.  If they sense that you're going to ask a question, they slip one in first.  They never use complete sentences, only clauses and long words.  I know a psychiatrist who begins every sentence with the word "that" and ends it with an exact quotation of Plato.  the main object a shrink has in mind when he sees a patient is not to rescue the patient's sanity, but to prove his.  After all, how many surgeons do you know who have five years of operations on themselves before they can practice?

Today's phychiatric resident may have elbow-length hair, wear rings in one ear, and go to work in purple satin capes.  This kind of psychiatrist has not hit Park Avenue yet, but it's only a matter of time.




_____________________________


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Post #: 3711
RE: Bernard Law - 1/29/2011 1:34:15 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Any chance of talking you out of a direct assault on Darwin? IMHO, there's better options for you up in N. Oz than jumping onto a hex with some 20k WJDs on it.


As far as I know no direct landing at Darwin is evisioned. 2 divisions are prepped for Wyndham. I am not sure where Br. 2nd Div and East Africa brigade are going.

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 3712
RE: Bernard Law - 1/29/2011 2:12:57 AM   
Moondawggie


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From: Placer County CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Non-sequitor du jour whilest awaiting another turn.

From the Journal of Irreproducible Results.  "The Varieties of Psychotherapeutic Experience", Robert S. Hoffman, M.D.:

Freudian:
Patient: I could use a ham on rye, hold the mustard.
Therapist: It's evident that a quantity of libidinal striving has been displaced to a regressive object with relative fixation in the anal-sadistic model.
Patient:  What do you suggest?
Therapist:  Perhaps a valve-job and tune-up.

Rogerian:
P:  Sh**! Do I feel sh**y!
T:  Sounds like you feel sh**y.
P:  Why are you parroting me?
T:  You seem concerned about me parroting you.
P:  What the hell is going on here?
T:  You sound confused.

Now back to the different types of physicians...also from THoIR: John J. Secondi, M.D.

The Psychiatrist:
Spotting a psychiatrist on the street is easy enough, but as he wanders on the wards of a state hospital, he may need a name tag.  Psychiatrists either avert their eyes from you or stare right through you, whichever makes you more uncomfortable.  If they sense that you're going to ask a question, they slip one in first.  They never use complete sentences, only clauses and long words.  I know a psychiatrist who begins every sentence with the word "that" and ends it with an exact quotation of Plato.  the main object a shrink has in mind when he sees a patient is not to rescue the patient's sanity, but to prove his.  After all, how many surgeons do you know who have five years of operations on themselves before they can practice?

Today's phychiatric resident may have elbow-length hair, wear rings in one ear, and go to work in purple satin capes.  This kind of psychiatrist has not hit Park Avenue yet, but it's only a matter of time.


So here's the cartoon about Pediatricians from the classic "12 Medical Specialty Stereotypes:"








Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 3713
RE: Bernard Law - 1/29/2011 2:20:18 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Non-sequitor du jour whilest awaiting another turn.

From the Journal of Irreproducible Results.  "The Varieties of Psychotherapeutic Experience", Robert S. Hoffman, M.D.:

Freudian:
Patient: I could use a ham on rye, hold the mustard.
Therapist: It's evident that a quantity of libidinal striving has been displaced to a regressive object with relative fixation in the anal-sadistic model.
Patient:  What do you suggest?
Therapist:  Perhaps a valve-job and tune-up.

Rogerian:
P:  Sh**! Do I feel sh**y!
T:  Sounds like you feel sh**y.
P:  Why are you parroting me?
T:  You seem concerned about me parroting you.
P:  What the hell is going on here?
T:  You sound confused.

Now back to the different types of physicians...also from THoIR: John J. Secondi, M.D.

The Psychiatrist:
Spotting a psychiatrist on the street is easy enough, but as he wanders on the wards of a state hospital, he may need a name tag.  Psychiatrists either avert their eyes from you or stare right through you, whichever makes you more uncomfortable.  If they sense that you're going to ask a question, they slip one in first.  They never use complete sentences, only clauses and long words.  I know a psychiatrist who begins every sentence with the word "that" and ends it with an exact quotation of Plato.  the main object a shrink has in mind when he sees a patient is not to rescue the patient's sanity, but to prove his.  After all, how many surgeons do you know who have five years of operations on themselves before they can practice?

Today's phychiatric resident may have elbow-length hair, wear rings in one ear, and go to work in purple satin capes.  This kind of psychiatrist has not hit Park Avenue yet, but it's only a matter of time.



And Psychiatrists:



Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 3714
RE: Bernard Law - 1/29/2011 2:22:27 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie


quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Non-sequitor du jour whilest awaiting another turn.

From the Journal of Irreproducible Results.  "The Varieties of Psychotherapeutic Experience", Robert S. Hoffman, M.D.:

Freudian:
Patient: I could use a ham on rye, hold the mustard.
Therapist: It's evident that a quantity of libidinal striving has been displaced to a regressive object with relative fixation in the anal-sadistic model.
Patient:  What do you suggest?
Therapist:  Perhaps a valve-job and tune-up.

Rogerian:
P:  Sh**! Do I feel sh**y!
T:  Sounds like you feel sh**y.
P:  Why are you parroting me?
T:  You seem concerned about me parroting you.
P:  What the hell is going on here?
T:  You sound confused.

Now back to the different types of physicians...also from THoIR: John J. Secondi, M.D.

The Psychiatrist:
Spotting a psychiatrist on the street is easy enough, but as he wanders on the wards of a state hospital, he may need a name tag.  Psychiatrists either avert their eyes from you or stare right through you, whichever makes you more uncomfortable.  If they sense that you're going to ask a question, they slip one in first.  They never use complete sentences, only clauses and long words.  I know a psychiatrist who begins every sentence with the word "that" and ends it with an exact quotation of Plato.  the main object a shrink has in mind when he sees a patient is not to rescue the patient's sanity, but to prove his.  After all, how many surgeons do you know who have five years of operations on themselves before they can practice?

Today's phychiatric resident may have elbow-length hair, wear rings in one ear, and go to work in purple satin capes.  This kind of psychiatrist has not hit Park Avenue yet, but it's only a matter of time.



And Psychiatrists:





Santos Mio! Let's try that again!






Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 3715
RE: Bernard Law - 1/29/2011 1:49:31 PM   
BrucePowers


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Hey I'm just glad my orthopedic surgeon removed the 3/8 inch long piece of wood from my finger that has been there since the yard work incident on December 31.

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Post #: 3716
RE: Bernard Law - 1/29/2011 3:21:07 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
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From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Hey I'm just glad my orthopedic surgeon removed the 3/8 inch long piece of wood from my finger that has been there since the yard work incident on December 31.

Orthopedic surgeon, eh? I'll have that description up on Monday...

_____________________________


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Post #: 3717
RE: Bernard Law - 1/29/2011 3:26:00 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Dear Chickenboy;


Thank you for your kind offer. Fortunately, the doctors don't think Captain Mandrake's epic pipe-laying ability will be affected. It seems the PVC glue didn't stick to the titanium plate he has in his skull.

I was somewhat unhappy to learn that my Christams gift didn't have the ceramic band because the bastard told me it did.


Mrs. Mandrake


PS...he asks that "Johnny Jap" (whoever that is) please send the turn



Dear Mrs. Mandrake,

So solly but no Johnny Jap here.

P.S. Sounds like your husband is in mafia.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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Post #: 3718
RE: how to treat a lady - 1/29/2011 3:26:51 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bigred


quote:

ORIGINAL: Itdepends

I'm a bit worried about you guys- does laying pipe mean something of a sexual nature over your way?
Because here it means ........how can I put this delicately...... extruding a prodigous quantity of solid waste from your nether regions, preferably in on contiguous section.

Yes, I would recommend definitions be established for "pipe laying " versus "bottom dwelling".


Do we have anyone second that motion?

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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Post #: 3719
RE: how to treat a lady - 1/29/2011 3:29:33 PM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

For those Trekkies in the audience-'going to Uranus to fight the Klingons' is a suitable missive.


never heard that one. Did you jut make that up?

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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Post #: 3720
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