Slitherine

quote:

ORIGINAL: scott1964

Two Swedes - Sven & Ole got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly, 'Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same type plane as yours.' Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down a few moments after take-off. Climbing out of the wreck Sven asked Ole, 'Any idea where we are?' 'Yaaah ai tink vi are pretty close to vere vi crashed last yer.'

quote:

ORIGINAL: Odin

Morning guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dixie

Two fish sitting in a tank.  One says to the other "How do I drive this thing?" 

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grollub

We usually tell that very same story, but then it's a Norwegian in the main role

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dixie

Two fish sitting in a tank.  One says to the other "How do I drive this thing?" 

Fish sit?

Bigger boys stole my sig

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apollo11

Hi all,

quote:

ORIGINAL: scott1964

If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of 60. I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 6 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car.. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!

Leo, you will post this in the "grump" thread of Steve's won't you?

_____________________________

(in reply to Apollo11)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apollo11

quote:

ORIGINAL: scott1964

If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of 60. I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 6 cents!

Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car.. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!

And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!

Leo, you will post this in the "grump" thread of Steve's won't you?

Prior Preparation & Planning Prevents Pathetically Poor Performance!

A & B: WitW, WitE, WbtS, GGWaW, GGWaW2-AWD, HttR, CotA, BftB, CF
P: UV, WitP, WitP-AE

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grollub

We usually tell that very same story, but then it's a Norwegian in the main role

You know, I'm inclined to let you have that one. After all, if Terminus is to be believed, you guys are all effeminate and drunk, surely you have no interest in chainsaws. The moose story on the other hand.......

quote:


Stacey Champion, Minnesota Woman, Tries To Mail Puppy In Box

MINNEAPOLIS — A Minneapolis woman has been charged with animal cruelty after postal workers say she tried to mail a puppy to Atlanta in a sealed box with no air holes.

Postal Service spokesman Pete Nowacki says employees became suspicious when the box suddenly fell off the counter after the woman left the post office Jan. 25. Postal inspectors opened the priority mail parcel and found a 4-month-old poodle mix, panting hard, inside.

Police Sgt. William Palmer says without the postal workers' intervention, the puppy would certainly have died in the airplane's unheated and non-pressurized cargo hold. It also had no food or water.

The Star Tribune says 39-year-old Stacey Champion has been charged with animal cruelty. The dog was taken to the city's animal control facility.

Prior Preparation & Planning Prevents Pathetically Poor Performance!

A & B: WitW, WitE, WbtS, GGWaW, GGWaW2-AWD, HttR, CotA, BftB, CF
P: UV, WitP, WitP-AE

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grollub

We usually tell that very same story, but then it's a Norwegian in the main role

You know, I'm inclined to let you have that one. After all, if Terminus is to be believed, you guys are all effeminate and drunk, surely you have no interest in chainsaws. The moose story on the other hand.......

What do you mean "if"?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apollo11

Hi all,

quote:


Stacey Champion, Minnesota Woman, Tries To Mail Puppy In Box

MINNEAPOLIS — A Minneapolis woman has been charged with animal cruelty after postal workers say she tried to mail a puppy to Atlanta in a sealed box with no air holes.

Postal Service spokesman Pete Nowacki says employees became suspicious when the box suddenly fell off the counter after the woman left the post office Jan. 25. Postal inspectors opened the priority mail parcel and found a 4-month-old poodle mix, panting hard, inside.

Police Sgt. William Palmer says without the postal workers' intervention, the puppy would certainly have died in the airplane's unheated and non-pressurized cargo hold. It also had no food or water.

The Star Tribune says 39-year-old Stacey Champion has been charged with animal cruelty. The dog was taken to the city's animal control facility.

Leo "Apollo11"

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apollo11
Hi all,

quote:


Stacey Champion, Minnesota Woman, Tries To Mail Puppy In Box

MINNEAPOLIS — A Minneapolis woman has been charged with animal cruelty after postal workers say she tried to mail a puppy to Atlanta in a sealed box with no air holes.

Postal Service spokesman Pete Nowacki says employees became suspicious when the box suddenly fell off the counter after the woman left the post office Jan. 25. Postal inspectors opened the priority mail parcel and found a 4-month-old poodle mix, panting hard, inside.

Police Sgt. William Palmer says without the postal workers' intervention, the puppy would certainly have died in the airplane's unheated and non-pressurized cargo hold. It also had no food or water.

The Star Tribune says 39-year-old Stacey Champion has been charged with animal cruelty. The dog was taken to the city's animal control facility.

Leo "Apollo11"

This is all over the news here today, Leo. I'll have to find today's article. Apparently she *wants it back*.

Anyone know someone locally nicknamed "Thumbs" or "Moose" that has some spare lead pipes in the garage? Someone needs to have a chat with Ms. "Champion".

quote:


Oh, no!, ohhhh no!, de JWE-mon gonna tee off. I kin see dis co'min from de mile away. And I'm t'inkin he may not be too far out de channel bouys, but woof!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apollo11

Hi all,

quote:


Stacey Champion, Minnesota Woman, Tries To Mail Puppy In Box

MINNEAPOLIS — A Minneapolis woman has been charged with animal cruelty after postal workers say she tried to mail a puppy to Atlanta in a sealed box with no air holes.

Postal Service spokesman Pete Nowacki says employees became suspicious when the box suddenly fell off the counter after the woman left the post office Jan. 25. Postal inspectors opened the priority mail parcel and found a 4-month-old poodle mix, panting hard, inside.

Police Sgt. William Palmer says without the postal workers' intervention, the puppy would certainly have died in the airplane's unheated and non-pressurized cargo hold. It also had no food or water.

The Star Tribune says 39-year-old Stacey Champion has been charged with animal cruelty. The dog was taken to the city's animal control facility.

Leo "Apollo11"

Bigger boys stole my sig

(in reply to Apollo11)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Panzerjaeger Hortlund

Hi guys.

First time in the thread...I thought Id start hanging out here with you. Im on parental leave for the next few months so...lots of time for AE and surfing the forum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Panzerjaeger Hortlund

Hi guys.

First time in the thread...I thought Id start hanging out here with you. Im on parental leave for the next few months so...lots of time for AE and surfing the forum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JWE

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Apollo11
Hi all,

quote:


Stacey Champion, Minnesota Woman, Tries To Mail Puppy In Box

MINNEAPOLIS — A Minneapolis woman has been charged with animal cruelty after postal workers say she tried to mail a puppy to Atlanta in a sealed box with no air holes.

Postal Service spokesman Pete Nowacki says employees became suspicious when the box suddenly fell off the counter after the woman left the post office Jan. 25. Postal inspectors opened the priority mail parcel and found a 4-month-old poodle mix, panting hard, inside.

Police Sgt. William Palmer says without the postal workers' intervention, the puppy would certainly have died in the airplane's unheated and non-pressurized cargo hold. It also had no food or water.

The Star Tribune says 39-year-old Stacey Champion has been charged with animal cruelty. The dog was taken to the city's animal control facility.

Leo "Apollo11"

This is all over the news here today, Leo. I'll have to find today's article. Apparently she *wants it back*.

Anyone know someone locally nicknamed "Thumbs" or "Moose" that has some spare lead pipes in the garage? Someone needs to have a chat with Ms. "Champion".

That is so sad. You know, I'll bet all she wanted to do was just mail this puppy to somebody. I mean, she was probably just a caring and sharing person who was trying to spread love.

quote:


Oh, no!, ohhhh no!, de JWE-mon gonna tee off. I kin see dis co'min from de mile away. And I'm t'inkin he may not be too far out de channel bouys, but woof!

This is nothing more than the victory of modern medical science over the medieval superstitions of the past. Even the most marginal members of society now has the ability and the right to reproduce to ultimate extent of their loin's power. And it is the duty and obligation of the legal community to protect and support that right and it's progeny, to the ultimate limits of it's power (or the ultimate of limits of ability to pay, which ever comes first).