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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines

 
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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/8/2011 1:06:54 AM   
USSAmerica


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Freaking fantastic!  

Edit: I actually took about 1.5 seconds while I was telling myself, "I've never seen that message in the combat report before."

< Message edited by USS America -- 5/8/2011 1:08:16 AM >


_____________________________

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"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/8/2011 3:32:09 AM   
perkinh


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Thank God!! I thought i was the only one slow here. I sat dumbfounded trying to decide if he made up the story after the action report, edited the report, or if it was real. I think i am still a lot slower than you America.

_____________________________

One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine.... is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/8/2011 4:00:58 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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I almost never make anything up unless I am doing my taxes.

I left out this part from the combat report.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Horn Island at 91,128, Range 11,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
TB Hatsukari
TB Hato

Allied Ships
PT-20
PT-60
PT-116
PT-119
PT-120, Recoil damage, and is sunk
PT-122
PT-126

Lt. jg Toutant "Frenchie" Beauregard soils himself


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/8/2011 4:03:57 AM >

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/8/2011 4:12:11 AM   
witpqs


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It was good to leave that out of the Combat Report. It belongs in the Combat Events Report.

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/8/2011 5:15:02 AM   
thegreatwent


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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/8/2011 4:13:12 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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**************PT 120, near Horn Is*************

CPO Sharkey: <standing at the conning station amid the chaos> Attention Hornet base this is Hornet 1. I am reporting a Code Brown. Please advise, over.....

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/8/2011 4:59:24 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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*******Charleston City Council Meeting, Aug. 18, 1942**********


Mayor Genser:
It looks like we are going to have to delay the repairs to the seawall because of funds.

Councilman Pierre Beauregard: Why don't we sell another of those mortars to that nice fellow from Fiji?

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/8/2011 5:09:08 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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OK..I conducted an inventory of USAAF heavy bombers in the South Pacific for the upcoming operation.


OZ: B-24D (44), B-17E/F (50)

Fiji: B-17E (36)

USA: Unrestricted command squadrons arriving in the next 6 days and could reach Australia by ferry hop by the start date B-24D (24)

That means potentially 110 heavies available for the offensive if Fiji is stripped.

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/8/2011 5:21:53 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Fighter strength in OZ:

USAAF: 49 x P-40E

RAF: 31 x Hurri IIc

RNZAF: 12 x Kittyhawk 1A

RAAF: 48 x Kittyhawk IA, 30 x Beaufighter, 6 x P-39


There are 80+ Hurris (IIb/c) in RAF reserves and 50+ Kittyhawks in RAAF/RNZAF reserves.

There are 12 P-40E and 18 P-38G in USAAF inventory.

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/10/2011 2:25:16 PM   
jeffk3510


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I almost never make anything up unless I am doing my taxes.







< Message edited by jeffk3510 -- 5/10/2011 2:26:32 PM >


_____________________________

Life is tough. The sooner you realize that, the easier it will be.

Currently chasing three kids around the Midwest.

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/11/2011 4:41:59 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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Zuikaku and Yamashiro have probably entered the Coral Sea. What they are doing is unkown. It they are alone it would be very unwise to venture Westward near the foru US carriers at Townsville. Wasp is short of torpedoes but they are still a potent force.

Ashigara and 3 DD's sunk USS Tucker defending the transports at Horn. The transports were saved and will try to move SW.

There are Jap transports near Port Moresby.

The US carriers will move NE but stay out of Zero escort range from Rabaul.




Attachment (1)

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/11/2011 10:56:09 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Sometimes I get a sore neck or pressure sores on my ass from spending too much time "saving the world" and I think...."Why me Jesus? What did I do to you?"...and then you see something that makes your little problems seem insignificant.

So I am walking down the horse trail trying to get the dogs to do their tootsie roll thing and I spy an open medicine bottle. It is an odd thing to be discarded like that so I pick it up and read the label....."J. Garcia, 5-2-11, Mendocino Gold (stem free), 100 gms, use as directed, refill 0, Dr. Quack, DC"

So I construct the scenario in my head......poor bastard probably had an acute attack of galucoma when he was driving to choir practice. I said a Hail Mary for Mr. Garica..well...honestly, just the first part. I couldn't remember anything after "full of Grace".

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 1:59:46 AM   
rtrapasso


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quote:

I said a Hail Mary for Mr. Garica..well...honestly, just the first part. I couldn't remember anything after "full of Grace".


i am pretty sure this a serious sin... for your penance, say fifty "Hail Marys".

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 2:34:29 AM   
USSAmerica


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quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

quote:

I said a Hail Mary for Mr. Garica..well...honestly, just the first part. I couldn't remember anything after "full of Grace".


i am pretty sure this a serious sin... for your penance, say fifty "Hail Marys".


Fortunately, to say the parts he knows won't take Mandrake very long at all.

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 3:33:21 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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************M&M Enterprises, Culinary Division, Fiji, August 19, 1942*******


Man in fine linen slacks and apron: <he is working at a stove with jars of various ingredients, Agar Gum, Red Dye No. 40, Yellow Dye No. 3, Armor Beef Tallow, Xylene, 83% and others> Dagmar, does this look like melted cheese? <He holds up a wooden spoon with a string on orange caseous material still connected to the pot below>

Very attractive woman with slender neck and Teutonic fatures (whatever those are) and medium sized breasts (that should require no further explanation): Oh, Milo. <she covers her mouth and laughs>

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 3:38:50 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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By ra way, for those who don't know, California really does have a medical marijuana law. There are now some 500 mary jane (this is what Sgt. Joe Friday used to call it) "dispensaries" in LA City alone.

We have had an extraordinary and tragic outbreak of glaucoma in the last 2 years here.

I really did find someone's medical marijuana empty on the horse trail too. It wasn't really "J. Garcia". I made that part up.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/12/2011 3:46:22 PM >

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 3:40:20 PM   
anarchyintheuk

 

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I've heard it also cures scrofula and the vapors.

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 3:44:22 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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As for taking a shortcut (like trying to get by with a 5 word Hail Mary) when doing pennance...I don't think that is a good idea. I am pretty sure you will go straight to Hell for something like that. I will admit I don't think I ever read that anywhere, but I still have a vague sense of disquietude.


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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 3:53:49 PM   
thegreatwent


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quote:

but I still have a vague sense of disquietude.


Umm... That could be just paranoia. As a peer of Dr. Quack, Dr. Frankenfurter was known to remark "I can remove the cause but not the symptoms". In any case that glaucoma outbreak seems to have stricken Colorado given the number of dispensaries that have popped up.

_____________________________


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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 6:43:54 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: thegreatwent

quote:

but I still have a vague sense of disquietude.


Umm... That could be just paranoia. As a peer of Dr. Quack, Dr. Frankenfurter was known to remark "I can remove the cause but not the symptoms". In any case that glaucoma outbreak seems to have stricken Colorado given the number of dispensaries that have popped up.



You could be right but when it comes to eternal damnation I can hardly be blamed for being cautious. It is just such an unpleasant idea.

As for the glaucoma outbreak in Colorado, that seems especially dangerous at high altitude with the combination of high intraoccular pressure and low atmospheric pressure. Eyeball explosions are bad for everyone. <shudders>

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 7:40:13 PM   
witpqs


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

As for the glaucoma outbreak in Colorado, that seems especially dangerous at high altitude with the combination of high intraoccular pressure and low atmospheric pressure. Eyeball explosions are bad for everyone. <shudders>


Would TSA no-fly you for that?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 8:06:14 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

As for the glaucoma outbreak in Colorado, that seems especially dangerous at high altitude with the combination of high intraoccular pressure and low atmospheric pressure. Eyeball explosions are bad for everyone. <shudders>


Would TSA no-fly you for that?


That is exactly what happened to this bad boy.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/50/Omar_Abdel-Rahman.jpg/404px-Omar_Abdel-Rahman.jpg

(in reply to witpqs)
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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 8:15:42 PM   
perkinh


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Good news for us on the other end of I-40...it appears to be spreading East.

_____________________________

One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine.... is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4583
RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/12/2011 9:43:33 PM   
jeffk3510


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

As for the glaucoma outbreak in Colorado, that seems especially dangerous at high altitude with the combination of high intraoccular pressure and low atmospheric pressure. Eyeball explosions are bad for everyone. <shudders>


Would TSA no-fly you for that?


Naw....they would just pat down your 6 year old instead....

_____________________________

Life is tough. The sooner you realize that, the easier it will be.

Currently chasing three kids around the Midwest.

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/13/2011 6:29:28 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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We received a telegraph from Rord Admirar Nerson. It seems his ENIAC Mk4 needs a new vacuum tube. Meanwhile the USN carriers are sitting in the Coral Sea...it is nearly killing me.


OK...I'm over it. So we are working on a revision of our emploment contract at work and I reviewed the "with cause" paragraph for termination and saw the "moral turpitude" clause and it seemed a bit 19th century so I asked the $500 an hour attorney.

Me: This "moral turpitude" thing seems a little vague to me. Do we really need it?

I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Yes, it's deliberately vague. If we enumerate every potential violation, then inevitably, something will be missed and the employee may use that omission to contest the separation.


Realizing that I just used up $50 asking the question, I decided to relent, even though as employer AND employee it made me a bit nervous. Then, on the way home, I started thinking about the time, in my last WITP game, when I put super aggressive Admirals in command of 6 boat PT squadrons. Would that constitute moral turpitude?*


* If anyone her works for D,C &H please recuse yourself from the discussion.

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/13/2011 7:12:11 PM   
anarchyintheuk

 

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Why don't they just use 'including, but not limited to . . .' language? Must be a CA thing.

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/13/2011 7:44:15 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: anarchyintheuk

Why don't they just use 'including, but not limited to . . .' language? Must be a CA thing.



I think that is so when there is a wrongful termination suit both plaintif's and defendant's atty's can get together over happy hour and laugh temselves silly over how they are both getting $500 an hour to litigate over the meaning of "moral turpitude".

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/13/2011 7:54:57 PM   
anarchyintheuk

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: anarchyintheuk

Why don't they just use 'including, but not limited to . . .' language? Must be a CA thing.



I think that is so when there is a wrongful termination suit both plaintif's and defendant's atty's can get together over happy hour and laugh temselves silly over how they are both getting $500 an hour to litigate over the meaning of "moral turpitude".



It would make for a great happy hour . . . . besides they probably deserve it and it would be less than sporting to deprive them of it.

Edited for less than acceptable punctuation.

< Message edited by anarchyintheuk -- 5/13/2011 7:55:45 PM >

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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/13/2011 9:43:21 PM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

We received a telegraph from Rord Admirar Nerson. It seems his ENIAC Mk4 needs a new vacuum tube. Meanwhile the USN carriers are sitting in the Coral Sea...it is nearly killing me.


Gosh-that's awful. Maybe you could return the tournament turns awaiting your input, sir. That may occupy your 'saving the world' time commitment sufficiently.

_____________________________


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RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/13/2011 9:53:43 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

We received a telegraph from Rord Admirar Nerson. It seems his ENIAC Mk4 needs a new vacuum tube. Meanwhile the USN carriers are sitting in the Coral Sea...it is nearly killing me.


Gosh-that's awful. Maybe you could return the tournament turns awaiting your input, sir. That may occupy your 'saving the world' time commitment sufficiently.


That will have to wait till I get home. We have a "no video games at work" clause too.

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 4590
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