Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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**************SWPAC HQ, Brisbane, Aug. 20, 1942************ Man in fine linen Etruscan style gown with sandals: You are aware of Admiral Halsey, sir, SouthPac Air Boss? Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): Sure, I know him. Crazier than a March hare but I like his tenacity. What about him? Man in fine linen Etruscan style gown with sandals: Well sir, he uses Haruspicy to plan his bomber raids. Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): Really? Does it work? Man in fine linen Etruscan style gown with sandals: Yes sir! The Japs just pulled out of Tanna airfield, sir. Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): I'll be damned. Let's give it a try. Man in fine linen Etruscan style gown with sandals: Yes, sir! If you don't mind signing the contract first, sir. Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): <pretends to read the contract...then signs it> Right, let's have at it. I have an Otter plenary planning meeting at 2. Man in fine linen Etruscan style gown with sandals: Splendid, I'll just have the Haruspex come in. Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): The what? Man in fine linen Etruscan style gown with sandals: The Haruspex, sir, the one who actually reads the sheep liver. Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): Ah, yes, of course, I simply didn't hear you well. Haruspex: <a US Army Lt. with a unit badge that reads US Army, Chaplaincy Corps, 1230th Ecclesiastical Expeditionary Force enter the room carrying a sectioned sheep liver on a terra cotta platter> Good afternoon, sir. Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): Good Lord, I didn't expect you to be commissioned. Haruspex: No sir, that is what Admiral Halsey said. The US Army Chaplaincy Corps prides itself on its diversity. Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): I imagine so. Do you get much call for Etruscan language services? Haruspex: No sir, not much at all. That is why I am so indebted to Mr. Minderbinder, sir. Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): <looks over at the man in the fine linen robe> Minderbinder, is that Etruscan? Man in fine linen Etruscan style gown with sandals: I'm 1/4 Etruscan on my mother's side, sir. Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): Ah, I see. Well, let's get to it. What do you see? Haruspex: Yes sir! <he sets down the platter> Now, if you will pay attention to this section here, you will see there is a small tumor right here <he points to the 10:00 position> This signifies weakness in the Jap defences. <everyone moves close to the sheep's liver slice> Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): Well, I'll be damned. I see it and now that you mention it, it really does look like Australia. Where is the weakness? Haruspex: Fetili, sir. Gen. MacArthur (or look-alike): Feh-tah..what? Haruspex: Fetili...it's Etruscan for Derby, sir.
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< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/17/2011 8:18:26 PM >
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