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RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire

 
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RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/18/2011 1:15:03 AM   
thegreatwent


Posts: 3011
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Denver, CO
Status: offline 		Reading this AAR I become more and more convinced that it is actually a cleverly disguised manuscript for a Metahistorical World War II film written by a team of authors including: Robert Anton Wilson, Joseph Heller, Umberto Eco, Robert Coover and Anthony Burgess. David Lynch will direct and the filming will make the making of Apocalypse Now look like a walk in the park.



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Post #: 4621
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/18/2011 2:21:33 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Wait...you left out John Dos Pasos, Jean M. Auel, Kurt Vonnegut and Theodore Geisel

(in reply to thegreatwent)
Post #: 4622
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/18/2011 3:55:45 AM   
thegreatwent


Posts: 3011
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Denver, CO
Status: offline 		They filled in as scabs after the union strike

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(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4623
RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/18/2011 4:18:57 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

But there was this funny little UCMJ clause about "conduct unbecoming an officer and gentleman


The RN has "conduct liable to bring the service into disrepute".


Ah, Lord Sprior, you point out a classic example of the difference between British cultural mores and those of their former vassals and countrymen, the Americans:

When "Punishment Time" comes around, the Americans are disturbed by the actions of the individual. For the British, the shame inflicted on the institution is paramount.

As Sir Winston Churchill reputedly toasted at Casablanca: "Here's to the British and the Americans: two very different peoples, separated by a common language!"

GO OTTER/LUTRA!

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 4624
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/18/2011 4:33:52 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**************SWPAC HQ, Brisbane, Aug. 20, 1942************


Man in fine linen Etruscan style gown with sandals: You are aware of Admiral Halsey, sir, SouthPac Air Boss?





Are you sure that it was the Etruscans who invented Geometry to conceptually represent their reading of sheep entrails?

I thought it was the Egyptians arguing about property lines following the annual Nile River floods about 1000 years BC...

And did Etruscans really wear gowns with sandals 700 years before the Romans took over their Mediterranean franchise, or is this just another Hollywood-rip-off, historically inaccurate costume ploy Milo used to cunningly befuddle an old-yet-powerful USMA 1903 graduate?

Hey, I'm just askin' ...

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4625
RE: How I Would Defend The Philippines - 5/18/2011 5:25:03 AM   
USSAmerica


Posts: 18715
Joined: 10/28/2002
From: Graham, NC, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior


quote:

ORIGINAL: Grollub

Speaking of word usage, I believe "perky" has gone out of fashion.


Pinky and Perky





...and now we know why it has gone out of fashion.

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 4626
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/18/2011 6:20:50 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Wait...you left out John Dos Pasos, Jean M. Auel, Kurt Vonnegut and Theodore Geisel


And Enid Blyton.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4627
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/18/2011 3:19:09 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Wait...you left out John Dos Pasos, Jean M. Auel, Kurt Vonnegut and Theodore Geisel


And Enid Blyton.


I imagine she is the misanthrope who wrote those terrible, sadistic otter stories for generations of permantly scarred British kids.

What she ever committed to a psychiatric facility?

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 4628
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/18/2011 3:24:22 PM   
Grollub


Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/9/2005
From: Lulea, Sweden
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Wait...you left out John Dos Pasos, Jean M. Auel, Kurt Vonnegut and Theodore Geisel


And Enid Blyton.

So this is really the script for "Five overthrows an Empire" ?

_____________________________

“Not mastering metaphores is like cooking pasta when the train is delayed"

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 4629
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/18/2011 6:52:47 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		I was thinking more "Noddy and Big Ears go to Kyoto"

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Grollub)
Post #: 4630
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/18/2011 7:06:02 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

I was thinking more "Noddy and Big Ears go to Kyoto"

Well, I've seen pictures of one of the authors of this AAR. Let's just say that you've got the Big Ears part of that duo covered.

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Post #: 4631
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/19/2011 9:12:49 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		But you haven't seen the full elephant impression

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 4632
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/22/2011 3:47:31 AM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		I have actually met Cap Mandrake so.....

< Message edited by BrucePowers -- 5/22/2011 3:48:44 AM >

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 4633
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/22/2011 9:21:32 AM   
Reg


Posts: 2787
Joined: 5/26/2000
From: NSW, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

I have actually met Cap Mandrake so.....


You've seen Cap Mandrake's elephant impression??

I wouldn't mention that on a public forum!!

Sprior, you are an evil man......

_____________________________

Cheers,
Reg.

(One day I will learn to spell - or check before posting....)
Uh oh, Firefox has a spell checker!! What excuse can I use now!!!

(in reply to BrucePowers)
Post #: 4634
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/22/2011 1:29:41 PM   
rtrapasso


Posts: 22653
Joined: 9/3/2002
Status: offline

(in reply to Reg)
Post #: 4635
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/22/2011 4:52:06 PM   
Argos

 

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/1/2010
From: Bozeman, MT
Status: offline 		Wow. All 155 pages of wisdom, parasites, strategy (with just the right amount of tactics), foriegn languages, exotic locals - even a bit of leather, tinted windows, and perky bits. Thanks to all for the wonderful writing.

One bit of a non AE suggestion for Cap M though - speaking as someone who spent 10 years as a firefighter and recently stepped down as a battalion chief, I'd suggest adding a tasteful (and, of course, HOA approved) numeric within plain site of your front door. I fear a sudden, horrible misunderstanding involving the best of motiviations, darkness, and firearms could result in the end of this wonderful AAR. You have had two identity mixups, I'd hate for the lowered standards for municipal employees employment testing to land a poor decision maker with a pistol on your doorstep on their first shift.

I have seen a lot of the chaos that occurs even before the arrival at the ER and this, unfortunately, isn't even close to the edge of possibility.

(in reply to rtrapasso)
Post #: 4636
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 12:11:33 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Thank Argos. Frau Braun also asked me to repaint the address sign so she could bust my chops more easily. She actually called me the other day after I appealed an HOA summons to a meeting to fine me. She apologized (cleverly, without a hint of accent) for her late reply. It seems she had some kind of "pregnancy complication". I was tempted to ask if her body was rejecting the alien DNA (outerspace DNA, I mean, not Mayan). I caught myself.

Me: Here is the deal, I'm not sure what you want me to do?

Frau Braun: Restore the area on the corner to its former landscaping.

Me: You mean dead grass with gopher holes?

Frau Braun: Mr. Mandrake, I think you know what I mean.

Me: But I put in two flats of Lantana and new mulch.

Frau Braun: Well, they aren't big enough.

Me: Well, that's the thing about plants, they start out small and get bigger.

Frau Braun: Well, you will just have to get them to grow faster.

Me: OK, I can do that. How about if I go out every evening and play some Wagner? You like Wagner, don't you?

Frau Braun: Vahg?

Me: Never mind. How about if I put in some more mulch?

Frau Braun: And more plants too.

Me: Fine, more plants. How about rosemary?

Frau Braun: Rosemary, is that a palm tree? You can't put in any palms.

Me: DEAL! More mulch, more plants, no palms.

Frau Braun: OK, i'll take some pictures and take it back to the Fuhr...er...I mean the Board.....

(in reply to Argos)
Post #: 4637
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 12:12:45 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		By ra way, my original motivation for sanding off the paint on the address was to keep the IRS narc away. It didn't work.

He came to my door in a suit that would embarass an appliance salesman at Sears.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/23/2011 12:13:58 AM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4638
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 12:19:25 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		On the night of 19/20, we sent in a crusier force to Port Moresby. The carriers moved South to rest the F4F's and because I was becoming increasngly concerned about some surprise coming from Madang or an unescorted massive Betty raid from Rabaul.

Admiral "Chas" McMorris had a blast (even if he has kind of a sissy nickname)




Attachment (1)

(in reply to thegreatwent)
Post #: 4639
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 12:23:41 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Next up a serious surface force.




Attachment (1)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4640
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 12:26:11 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Next, some cripples from the previous days SBD attacks trying to seek succor at PM.....suckers!




Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/23/2011 12:27:10 AM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4641
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 12:29:16 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Next up, crippled Mogami and an appropriately named escort.




Attachment (1)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4642
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 12:36:05 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		By this point, he is running out of ammo and time. The transports are saved at a high price.

When the sun comes up, the B-25's from Cairns hit s AK's from 1000 ft. A B-17 scares 45 WJD's to death from a near miss.

USS Helm has about 40% flotation damage but can likely make Cairns.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4643
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 12:42:10 AM   
BrucePowers


Posts: 12094
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		Good exchange.....

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4644
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 12:52:35 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		On the 21st, the F$F's had recovered some fatigue so the carriers were sent North and a second cruiser force was split off from the carrier escorts and ordered North. The slow BB's were brought into the carrier taffys for their triple A. In the end, the cruiser force declined to attack by the SBD's did some damage, sinking DD Uzuki and 3 AK's, one with nearly 1600 WJD's aboard.

A big allied sub screen near Deboyne and the Jomard Passage netted one CMc, but the Dutch boat O-16 was hit badly and may sink.

B-17's sunk a damaged CL and DD in port at Port Moresby (that they can do).

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/23/2011 12:53:25 AM >

(in reply to BrucePowers)
Post #: 4645
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 1:46:18 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Next up, crippled Mogami and an appropriately named escort.



Wow! Contact report shows that IJN and USN lookouts both see each other @ identical distance of 8,000 yards.

Your boys have gained some impressive nightime experience to pull that off...

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4646
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 2:30:26 AM   
Mynok


Posts: 12108
Joined: 11/30/2002
Status: offline
No, they just donned the beer goggles.


_____________________________

"Measure civilization by the ability of citizens to mock government with impunity" -- Unknown

(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 4647
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/23/2011 9:48:41 PM   
perkinh


Posts: 181
Joined: 2/7/2010
From: Central, NC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

On the night of 19/20, we sent in a crusier force to Port Moresby. The carriers moved South to rest the F4F's and because I was becoming increasngly concerned about some surprise coming from Madang or an unescorted massive Betty raid from Rabaul.

Admiral "Chas" McMorris had a blast (even if he has kind of a sissy nickname)






Ok, having just watched "Endless Summer" again, and having read the recent issue of Geo Mag i have a question. Was an enviromental study down on the impact of this artificial reef, and how it will effct surfing( poor on that side i think) and the death of coral on the barrier reef from leakage? Secondly what will be the cost of cleanup and who will be responsible?

Hell of a way to run a war!

_____________________________

One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine.... is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 4648
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/24/2011 4:34:57 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gabede



Was an enviromental study down on the impact of this artificial reef, and how it will effct surfing( poor on that side i think) and the death of coral on the barrier reef from leakage? Secondly what will be the cost of cleanup and who will be responsible?

Hell of a way to run a war!



It will make a great place for indigenous people to go subsistence fishing for "Endangered Rockfish."

I'm sure that the M&M Enterprises Environmental Impact Report Division could rapidly come up with an analysis confirming a net biological advantage for endangered species, improved nutrition for local underprivileged children, and a neutral to beneficial impact on Global Cooling in exchange for a few hundred thousand pictures of dead presidents...

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to perkinh)
Post #: 4649
RE: Hepatomancer Extraordinaire - 5/25/2011 5:29:36 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie


quote:

ORIGINAL: Gabede



Was an enviromental study down on the impact of this artificial reef, and how it will effct surfing( poor on that side i think) and the death of coral on the barrier reef from leakage? Secondly what will be the cost of cleanup and who will be responsible?

Hell of a way to run a war!



It will make a great place for indigenous people to go subsistence fishing for "Endangered Rockfish."

I'm sure that the M&M Enterprises Environmental Impact Report Division could rapidly come up with an analysis confirming a net biological advantage for endangered species, improved nutrition for local underprivileged children, and a neutral to beneficial impact on Global Cooling in exchange for a few hundred thousand pictures of dead presidents...


Do the "indigenous people" of New Guinea actually have boats? Maybe they could do shore casting.

As for the project, I think M&M Enterprises Planned Developments Division is the lead contractor so the incentive would be to make any environmental issues go away.

The latter does seem a job for M&M Enterprises Environmental Impact Mitigation Division. Last time we heard from them they were using a field-modified B-25 with 12 forward firing .50's to soften up the opposition to a project.

(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 4650
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