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RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/17/2012 9:48:07 PM   
Argos

 

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/1/2010
From: Bozeman, MT
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Thanks to the Accountable Care Act (and other do-gooders) we now have an "electronic medical record". Sure it sounds cool but what it really does is take all the work that we used to give to staff and hand it back to the doctors. Even worse, you can't just throw **** away like a mail carrier. Everything gets documented and recorded.

A verbal order turns into something from the 8th level of Hell with 2**X emails (where X=the number of employees).

Today I get this "task" marked with an urgent button. It is the 6th message in a string of communication. It reads "Doctor Mandrake; Mrs. McGuillicuty wanted you to know that Lisbeth had a reall big bowel movement today"

What the Hell am I supposed to do with that? Send cigars? Throw a baby shower?

In the end I resisted entering a snarky comment and just typed "Noted". Then I hit the very satisfying "Done" button and sent the message string to the 9th level of Hell.


During my Montana days there used to be a standing meeting for Fridays at 4 at a local drinking establishment. Several of the regulars were local large animal vets and one the head of county health so we heard about a range of adventures complaints similar to the Captain's.

One day we were all highly entertained at a page that came in for the on-call guy. Mind you this was a while back so you had to scroll to get the whole message. It read -

"Client name (XXX)XXX_XXXX Emergency - Horse is..." scroll pager here

"dead."

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7711
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/17/2012 9:57:49 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Argos


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Thanks to the Accountable Care Act (and other do-gooders) we now have an "electronic medical record". Sure it sounds cool but what it really does is take all the work that we used to give to staff and hand it back to the doctors. Even worse, you can't just throw **** away like a mail carrier. Everything gets documented and recorded.

A verbal order turns into something from the 8th level of Hell with 2**X emails (where X=the number of employees).

Today I get this "task" marked with an urgent button. It is the 6th message in a string of communication. It reads "Doctor Mandrake; Mrs. McGuillicuty wanted you to know that Lisbeth had a reall big bowel movement today"

What the Hell am I supposed to do with that? Send cigars? Throw a baby shower?

In the end I resisted entering a snarky comment and just typed "Noted". Then I hit the very satisfying "Done" button and sent the message string to the 9th level of Hell.


During my Montana days there used to be a standing meeting for Fridays at 4 at a local drinking establishment. Several of the regulars were local large animal vets and one the head of county health so we heard about a range of adventures complaints similar to the Captain's.

One day we were all highly entertained at a page that came in for the on-call guy. Mind you this was a while back so you had to scroll to get the whole message. It read -

"Client name (XXX)XXX_XXXX Emergency - Horse is..." scroll pager here

"dead."





After one of the big earthquakes the local news stations go into continuous coverage mode and the "anchormen" with the helmet hair have to go off teleprompter. Instead, they get updates via earpiece from their director or just have to keep talking when they have already said everything they know 6 times.


After the Northridge quake in '94 I was watching the live news and the helmet-hair dude announced;

"The CHP is reporting 8 injuries and 3 fatalities, 2 of them serious."

(in reply to Argos)
Post #: 7712
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/17/2012 9:59:16 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

A midwife is walking past the hospital staffroom, when she hears two African doctors talking, "I'm telling you it's wumba: W-U-M-B-A," says the first.

"No. It's woombaa: W-O-O-M-B-A-A," says the second.

"No, no, no. Wumba: W-U-M-B-A," says the first again.

At this the nurse pops her head through the door, "I think you'll find, gentlemen, it's WOMB: W-O-M-B,"

The two doctors look blankly at her, until one of them says, "Madam. I doubt if you've ever even SEEN a water buffalo, let alone heard one fart in a mudpool,".



never argue with a connossieur

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7713
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/17/2012 10:20:51 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline 		Yessss! Portable seating with facilities that doubles as a walker! Crever peopur these Japanese!

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 7714
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/17/2012 10:31:38 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

"The CHP is reporting 8 injuries and 3 fatalities, 2 of them serious."



No-the third fatality could have been a clown. That wouldn't have been serious. Alternatively, the third fatality could have been a mime. That would have been cause for celebration. Again, not serious.

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7715
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/17/2012 10:37:31 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

"The CHP is reporting 8 injuries and 3 fatalities, 2 of them serious."



No-the third fatality could have been a clown. That wouldn't have been serious. Alternatively, the third fatality could have been a mime. That would have been cause for celebration. Again, not serious.

+1 on the mime.

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 7716
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/18/2012 2:59:52 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

+1 on the fart jokes. They're always a hit.



OK, here you go: the grandmaster of 'em all!






Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 7717
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/18/2012 2:00:49 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		"Can we have some more beans Mr. Taggert?"

(in reply to Argos)
Post #: 7718
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/18/2012 2:54:30 PM   
Argos

 

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/1/2010
From: Bozeman, MT
Status: offline



After one of the big earthquakes the local news stations go into continuous coverage mode and the "anchormen" with the helmet hair have to go off teleprompter. Instead, they get updates via earpiece from their director or just have to keep talking when they have already said everything they know 6 times.


After the Northridge quake in '94 I was watching the live news and the helmet-hair dude announced;

"The CHP is reporting 8 injuries and 3 fatalities, 2 of them serious."




I actually saw the same broadcast. The joys of off script 'journalists' almost match those of sports figures sharing their thoughts...



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7719
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/18/2012 3:14:59 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Argos





After one of the big earthquakes the local news stations go into continuous coverage mode and the "anchormen" with the helmet hair have to go off teleprompter. Instead, they get updates via earpiece from their director or just have to keep talking when they have already said everything they know 6 times.


After the Northridge quake in '94 I was watching the live news and the helmet-hair dude announced;

"The CHP is reporting 8 injuries and 3 fatalities, 2 of them serious."




I actually saw the same broadcast. The joys of off script 'journalists' almost match those of sports figures sharing their thoughts...





See...a testimonial. I bet half you guys (or gals..not likely) thought Admiral Lord Sprior and I made all this bull **** up.

(in reply to Argos)
Post #: 7720
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/18/2012 3:21:05 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Editrix Note: Our Historical Provenance and Copywrite Violation Committee is unable to confirm the contemporaneous use of the phrase "Johnny Jap" during WWII. We did find such a usage in an English soft porn magazine form the mid 1970's but were unable to interview the author because some of the pages were stuck together. As a consequence, we are going to take the step to ban it from future use in..<POOF>

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7721
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/18/2012 3:39:17 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

+1 on the fart jokes. They're always a hit.



OK, here you go: the grandmaster of 'em all!






A rare photo of the Tojo Mongo Mod in flight:




Attachment (1)

< Message edited by witpqs -- 5/18/2012 3:40:27 PM >

(in reply to Moondawggie)
Post #: 7722
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/18/2012 5:26:27 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs
A rare photo of the Tojo Mongo Mod in flight:





Wait...is that some kind of combustion chamber or is that a brown shock wave from an actual test fire?

(in reply to witpqs)
Post #: 7723
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/18/2012 5:36:17 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline 		Here's a pic of a scaled up version in the factory. The factory mod failed because it was too big for the Tojo to get into the air.




Attachment (1)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7724
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/19/2012 6:10:00 AM   
Moondawggie


Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003
From: Placer County CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

"Can we have some more beans Mr. Taggert?"





_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7725
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 5/19/2012 2:12:49 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		Okay, who signed up for Readers Digest?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.


Post #: 7726
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 5/19/2012 3:33:09 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline 		Also saw that post in "The Little Ship That Could" AAR. If they are some kind of automated thing, Matrix needs to end it.

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 7727
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 5/19/2012 4:40:17 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelina

Well done to everyone, I had been working all week, but had already begun to earn 100-300 dollars a day, think for yourself, this is your life http://easywork.glworld.bz

Hi angelina. Welcome to THE THREAD!!! Good job on your post and best wishes on your continuing endeavors.

Usually, Warspite1 is our resident spambot welcome wagon, but he's pretty busy with the Australian Beauties semifinals and all over on the General Discussion. Currently in absentia, he would appreciate my welcoming you to this fine group.


_____________________________
Post #: 7728
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 5/19/2012 4:40:47 PM   
khyberbill


Posts: 1941
Joined: 9/11/2007
From: new milford, ct
Status: offline 		I suspect it might be Mandrakes Mayan ex-maid. Standby for heavy rolls.

_____________________________

"Its a dog eat dog world Sammy and I am wearing Milkbone underwear" -Norm.

(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 7729
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 5/19/2012 4:49:12 PM   
Argos

 

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/1/2010
From: Bozeman, MT
Status: offline 		Betting its someone who looks at the number of views and adds it manually. Mod is going to have to dump that account and the others that spring up.

(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 7730
RE: Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor o... - 5/19/2012 4:49:44 PM   
Argos

 

Posts: 130
Joined: 11/1/2010
From: Bozeman, MT
Status: offline 		<double post>

< Message edited by Argos -- 5/19/2012 4:50:39 PM >

(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 7731
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/19/2012 5:24:41 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		OK...I checked on the link. It's Angelina Jolie. They are looking for body doubles for nude scenes.

It said you have to be "hairless" so I decided it wouldn't be worth the prep time. One of you guys can sign up if you want.

(in reply to Argos)
Post #: 7732
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/19/2012 5:36:18 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		*************Dec. 30, 1942(c)/Pranning*************


Not sure what happend to all the meticulously refilled fuel bunkers on PoW, Repulse and the carriers. Now I know why they didn't show up on station. I'm thinking black market diversion. Damn you Captialism!!

On a positive note, the USN fast BB's were able to rearm at Gove from the AE's despite the fact there is no wharf, jetty, breakwater, lighthouse or navigation aid of any kind. Fortunately, Gove Cove is quite idyllic this time of year.

Maryland will have to wait a turn. New Mexico and cruisers will take up station at Darwin to permit the transports to come back. The CV's will lay off Bathurst for CAP and the CVE's need a drink. All sorts of support troops trying to get ashore at Bathurst. This would be an exceedingly bad night for Musashi to show up.

Wyndham at 80% runway damage, Darwin at 97%. The air threat will be Netties from Kopeang again.

Some 35 Zeroes claimed yesterday.



< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/19/2012 5:37:38 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7733
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/19/2012 5:46:30 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		There is a red fox living in the neighborhood and I'm not talking about Pocahantas Girl, either. Never seen one in the wild around here before. Really a quite hansome animal compared to the mangey coyotes in these parts.

Probably the melting glaciers or something. Whatever the reason, the law of parsimony would suggest the same reason can be invoked to explain why my Mexican gardener has a Jewish name. It is just too much a coincidence if you ask me.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7734
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/19/2012 5:57:00 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		**********Dec. 30, 1942(c)*********


Darwin/Bathurst: DISASTER .......................
.............................
.............................
.............................
avoided!.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/19/2012 5:58:23 PM >

(in reply to Argos)
Post #: 7735
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/19/2012 6:01:52 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		I-62 goes after one of the carrier taffys....<makes raspberry sound>

Submarine attack near Bathurst Island at 78,122

Japanese Ships
SS I-162, hits 6, on fire, heavy damage

Allied Ships
CA Chicago
CLAA San Diego
DD Gansevoort
DD Bancroft
DD Fanning
DD Hughes

I-127 has more ruck against one of the other carrier taffys. Evidently the ASW resources are getting a bit thin. <gaak>

Sub attack near Bathurst Island at 77,122

Japanese Ships
SS I-27, hits 4

Allied Ships
CLAA San Juan, Torpedo hits 1, on fire, heavy damage
CL St. Louis
DD Phelps
DD Clark
DD Cushing

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/19/2012 6:03:16 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7736
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/19/2012 6:06:24 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		The second wave landing at Darwin goes well. There is a single, weak Netty raid from Koepang? Good thing as the CAP was a bit weak.

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Darwin at 76,124

Weather in hex: Overcast

Raid detected at 60 NM, estimated altitude 12,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 21 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 6
G4M1 Betty x 3



Allied aircraft
Martlet II x 2
Beaufighter Ic x 2
P-38F Lightning x 2
F4F-4 Wildcat x 13


Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 2 destroyed
G4M1 Betty: 1 destroyed

No Allied losses

Some of the B-17's from Merauke go over to ground attack at Darwin as the airfield is pulverized. B-24's go after the airfield at Wyndham and encounter no CAP.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7737
RE: Hearts and Minds - 5/19/2012 6:15:43 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Port Hedrand: Airfield ruwnay damage at 100% but there is still a 2 cylinder Daihatsu 24 HP pavement compactor running so VII Bomber Command calls for "maximum effort". A copy of "Fighting SeaBees" starring Mr. John Wayne just arrived at Corruna Downs and is being sent to the troops at Port Hedrand. This will replace a worn copy of "Arsenic and Old Lace" which nobody liked (except for..well...you know).

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7738
A Handbag? - 5/19/2012 9:34:47 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		“I do not approve of anything that tampers with natural ignorance. Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately in England, at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever. If it did, it would prove a serious danger to the upper classes, and probably lead to acts of violence in Grosvenor Square.”


< Message edited by sprior -- 5/19/2012 9:38:22 PM >

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 7739
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