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RE: Robusto Havana - 8/31/2012 10:04:19 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline 		So, you were down in San Diego, were you? I assume that-with your taste for the finer things in life-you took this train down there?




Attachment (1)

_____________________________


(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 9031
RE: Robusto Havana - 8/31/2012 10:35:43 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

So, you were down in San Diego, were you? I assume that-with your taste for the finer things in life-you took this train down there?





Does that thing move? There are about 4 square blocks of downtown SD devoted to drinking. It'a almost as bad as New Orleans. We had $6 James Bond Martinis with Bombay Sapphire at some happy hour in La Jolla. They were really tasty. Then we had a pitcher of margaritas at Alfonsos.


SG disappeared into an art gallery and I had to go fetch her after 20 minutes. She was taken by this huge print where the artist had photgraphed attractive young women as water sprites or some such thing (underwater) and the composited it without the water so they appeared to be floating, life size on a huge white background. The absence of gravity made their "bosoms" quite perky. The level of photgrpahic detail was amazing. They were sans clothing but the poses were very discreet. It was quite beautiful but I had better things to spend $4500 on.

SG is somehow tricked into telling the saleperson that I did a couple of water colors once.


Unguinous Salesperson: Oh, so you are an artist? What do you think Mr. Mandrake?

Me:<Now I am really annoyed SG dragged me into this..that's why I hate galleries. I pretend to inspect the work> Hmmmm. Water musta been cold.






< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 8/31/2012 10:37:23 PM >

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 9032
RE: Robusto Havana - 8/31/2012 10:46:58 PM   
Grollub


Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/9/2005
From: Lulea, Sweden
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Another cool pic. Anyone know what it means?






C-r-u-d-e-o-i-l-o-p-t-i-o-n-s-f-o-r-s-a-l-e-c-o-n-t-a-c-t-p-a-d-r-e-m-m-i-n-d-e-r-b-e-n-d-e-r-s-t-o-p ?

_____________________________

“Not mastering metaphores is like cooking pasta when the train is delayed"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 9033
RE: Robusto Havana - 8/31/2012 10:50:33 PM   
zuluhour


Posts: 5244
Joined: 1/20/2011
From: Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

Water musta been cold.


Perhaps perky may be a better description.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 9034
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 3:51:11 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Grollub


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Another cool pic. Anyone know what it means?






C-r-u-d-e-o-i-l-o-p-t-i-o-n-s-f-o-r-s-a-l-e-c-o-n-t-a-c-t-p-a-d-r-e-m-m-i-n-d-e-r-b-e-n-d-e-r-s-t-o-p ?



Yes crude oil options...maybe Sept. 1943(b)! I remember that! I wonder if Mr. Minderbinder remembers?

(in reply to Grollub)
Post #: 9035
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 3:56:35 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Little girls are coming back from Idaho after being away all summer. <makes Dominican good luck sign> This means going out less for drinks and having to pick up a lot more crap around the house. This is probably a good thing, right?

Nearly 8 PM and I nearly stepped on a 4 1/2 foot rattler trying to get the dogs out of the way of a mountian bike rider. Idiot!

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 9036
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 9:49:33 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		This is a new one:

Good morning SPrior,

An international dynamic art company located in the UK due to an ongoing growth and expansion is currently recruiting for a FS Officer and is pleased to give you this part-time job

There is no limit to the opportunities in our company - so there’s no limit to what you can achieve. Are you seeking a challenging and rewarding part-time employment opportunity leading a team? If so, then the FSO position at our company may be the right position for you!

The description of Financial Services Officer position:
- Two to three hours a day performing your duties over the Internet is sufficient for this position;
- permanent Internet access and e-mail availability;
- Free training while your probationary period will be given;
- Base salary is 1,500 GBP per month during the Trial Period + 8% commission from each successfully handled payment. Total income is about 3,000 GBP per month. After the first 30 days your base salary will be increased up to 1,800 GBP a month.

We provide a one-month paid training period, during which you will receive online training and support, as well as a regular paycheck. During this time, you'll receive all the necessary instructions and training from your supervisor. One week before the training period ends, your supervisor will be making his or her decision, regarding whether your performance has been satisfactory enough to offer full time employment.

If we have sparked your interest and you'd like to learn more, please e-mail us your updated contact information at hr.financedirection@gmail.com. Our recruiter managers will contact you within 2 business days.

Sincerely yours,

Mr. Jack Smith

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 9037
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 10:10:43 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
quote:

There are about 4 square blocks of downtown SD devoted to drinking


The last time we were there we stumbled across this http://www.shakespearepub.com/

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 9038
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 10:19:44 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		How do you hide a goat in a tree? Paint its toe nails red. Oh, wait...

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 9039
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 12:56:38 PM   
Walloc

 

Posts: 3141
Joined: 10/30/2006
From: Denmark
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

This is a new one:

Good morning SPrior,

An international dynamic art company located in the UK due to an ongoing growth and expansion is currently recruiting for a FS Officer and is pleased to give you this part-time job

There is no limit to the opportunities in our company - so there’s no limit to what you can achieve. Are you seeking a challenging and rewarding part-time employment opportunity leading a team? If so, then the FSO position at our company may be the right position for you!

The description of Financial Services Officer position:
- Two to three hours a day performing your duties over the Internet is sufficient for this position;
- permanent Internet access and e-mail availability;
- Free training while your probationary period will be given;
- Base salary is 1,500 GBP per month during the Trial Period + 8% commission from each successfully handled payment. Total income is about 3,000 GBP per month. After the first 30 days your base salary will be increased up to 1,800 GBP a month.

We provide a one-month paid training period, during which you will receive online training and support, as well as a regular paycheck. During this time, you'll receive all the necessary instructions and training from your supervisor. One week before the training period ends, your supervisor will be making his or her decision, regarding whether your performance has been satisfactory enough to offer full time employment.

If we have sparked your interest and you'd like to learn more, please e-mail us your updated contact information at hr.financedirection@gmail.com. Our recruiter managers will contact you within 2 business days.

Sincerely yours,

Mr. Jack Smith


I think u read his name wrong its infact:

Mr. Jack Ass

Rasmus

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 9040
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 3:13:58 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

There are about 4 square blocks of downtown SD devoted to drinking


The last time we were there we stumbled across this http://www.shakespearepub.com/


Looks like it was fun. Is it still there or did Mr. Obama send it back with the bust of Winny?

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 9041
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 3:26:06 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

This is a new one:

Good morning SPrior,

An international dynamic art company located in the UK due to an ongoing growth and expansion is currently recruiting for a FS Officer and is pleased to give you this part-time job

There is no limit to the opportunities in our company - so there’s no limit to what you can achieve. Are you seeking a challenging and rewarding part-time employment opportunity leading a team? If so, then the FSO position at our company may be the right position for you!

The description of Financial Services Officer position:
- Two to three hours a day performing your duties over the Internet is sufficient for this position;
- permanent Internet access and e-mail availability;
- Free training while your probationary period will be given;
- Base salary is 1,500 GBP per month during the Trial Period + 8% commission from each successfully handled payment. Total income is about 3,000 GBP per month. After the first 30 days your base salary will be increased up to 1,800 GBP a month.

We provide a one-month paid training period, during which you will receive online training and support, as well as a regular paycheck. During this time, you'll receive all the necessary instructions and training from your supervisor. One week before the training period ends, your supervisor will be making his or her decision, regarding whether your performance has been satisfactory enough to offer full time employment.

If we have sparked your interest and you'd like to learn more, please e-mail us your updated contact information at hr.financedirection@gmail.com. Our recruiter managers will contact you within 2 business days.

Sincerely yours,

Mr. Jack Smith



I don't know what to think about that. Seems kinda shady. I see three possibilities:

1) They are moving stolen Nazi art pieces.

2) If you respond, they ask for a $4000 money order made out to the Commiittee for Art Support and Help (CASH) to defray the cost of instruction materials. This is to be sent to an address in Lagos.

3) It's a money laundering scheme for th Arellano Felix cartel.


Whatever yu do, just make sure they have dental and vision coverage.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 9042
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 3:30:10 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

How do you hide a goat in a tree? Paint its toe nails red. Oh, wait...




The caption reads, "Goats climb up an Argan tree to eat its fruit, near Essaouira, Morocco"

Really, they are just trying to avoid unwanted attention from the herdsman. "Not nowhwowhow dear. I hahahave a heheheheadache



< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/1/2012 3:32:29 PM >

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 9043
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 3:40:18 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

How do you hide a goat in a tree? Paint its toe nails red. Oh, wait...




The caption reads, "Goats climb up an Argan tree to eat its fruit, near Essaouira, Morocco"

Really, they are just trying to avoid unwanted attention from the herdsman. "Not nowhwowhow dear. I hahahave a heheheheadache



Ugh...such BAAAA'ed humor to wake up to on a Saturday morning...

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 9044
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 3:59:38 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Look. You have alredy been warned. Do you want to go to the Cornefield?

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 9045
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 4:11:11 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		China: When Rord Admirar Fabertong was away getting a seaweed spa treatment in Osaka, Rord Admirar Nerson rearry turned up heat on Japan air forces. Sometime it wohk, sometime it not work. This one not wohk so good because there 8 Hurricanes frying with pahts brought in by Coories and Mongorian ponies.

Morning Air attack on 200th Chinese Division, at 77,43 , near Chungking

Weather in hex: Heavy rain

Raid spotted at 19 NM, estimated altitude 8,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 5 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-48-IIa Lily x 24



Allied aircraft
I-15-III x 2
P-66 Vanguard x 7
Hurricane IIc Trop x 8


Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-48-IIa Lily: 5 destroyed

No Allied losses


Allied ground losses:
38 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 6 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled


Aircraft Attacking:
15 x Ki-48-IIa Lily bombing from 5000 feet
Ground Attack: 4 x 100 kg GP Bomb
9 x Ki-48-IIa Lily bombing from 5000 feet
Ground Attack: 4 x 100 kg GP Bomb

This one wohk bettah. Changsa too far for LRCAP. Apple assembry prant get brown up.


Morning Air attack on Changsha , at 82,52

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 18 NM, estimated altitude 11,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 5 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 13
Ki-48-IIa Lily x 15



No Japanese losses



Manpower hits 70
Fires 18522

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 9046
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 4:13:19 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Rirries AND Sarrys. Baaahsaterds!

Morning Air attack on Changsha , at 82,52

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 37 NM, estimated altitude 8,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 12 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-21-Ic Sally x 7



Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-21-Ic Sally: 1 damaged



Manpower hits 17
Fires 56127

Big LYB counterattack near Chungking after a failed attack by Chinese forces yesterday. Our LYB's hold against their LYB's

Ground combat at 77,43 (near Chungking)

Japanese Deliberate attack

Attacking force 39883 troops, 406 guns, 42 vehicles, Assault Value = 1430

Defending force 45779 troops, 279 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1407

Japanese adjusted assault: 93

Allied adjusted defense: 417

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 4

Combat modifiers
Defender: experience(-), supply(-)
Attacker:

Japanese ground losses:
2287 casualties reported
Squads: 5 destroyed, 250 disabled
Non Combat: 2 destroyed, 12 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 13 disabled


Allied ground losses:
2244 casualties reported
Squads: 37 destroyed, 235 disabled
Non Combat: 3 destroyed, 95 disabled
Engineers: 5 destroyed, 13 disabled


Assaulting units:
59th Infantry Brigade
13th Division
110th Division
4th Ind.Mixed Brigade
32nd Division
15th Ind.Medium Field Artillery Regiment
52nd Ind.Mtn.Gun Battalion
12th Army
14th Medium Field Artillery Regiment
29th Ind. Engineer Regiment

Defending units:
55th Chinese Corps
69th Chinese Corps
76th Chinese Corps
91st Chinese Corps
42nd Chinese Corps
50th Chinese Corps
1st New Chinese Corps
200th Chinese Division
38th Group Army
15th Group Army
25th Chinese Corps
15th Chinese Base Force
1st Construction Regiment

That is the equivalent of 4 Japanese divisions. They must be undersupplied or badly disrupted to yield an adjusted AV of 93

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/1/2012 4:23:19 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 9047
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 4:18:54 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Burma: 14 Brigade, whose mission, I suspect was to interdict movement along the Mandaray/Myitkinia rail line and attract attention has attracted attention. THe brigade was hit hard yesterday by 600 Ronsons. LY Baaahstards came back today.

First..Allied air attacks to attrit the LYB's. There was "attritting" going on on both sides.

Morning Air attack on 1st Tank Division, at 61,43 (Katha)

Weather in hex: Light rain

Raid spotted at 20 NM, estimated altitude 11,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 6 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 13
Ki-44-IIa Tojo x 15



Allied aircraft
Hurricane IIc Trop x 7
B-24D Liberator x 8
B-25C Mitchell x 16


No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
Hurricane IIc Trop: 3 destroyed
B-24D Liberator: 1 damaged
B-25C Mitchell: 1 destroyed, 6 damaged

Japanese ground losses:
7 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 4 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 9048
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 4:28:32 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		I wonder how many antitank guns 14 Brigade dragged across the Burmese jungle? Against a Ronson, a PIAT would work but my kids had Nerf guns that shot further. Much fewer tanks in the attack today. Only 80? Wow...looks like we Nerfed 520 of them yesterday. 14 Brigade holds on...but it's not looking good. Meanwhile, the Chindits are closing on Myitkynia.

Ground combat at Katha (61,43)

Japanese Deliberate attack

Attacking force 3724 troops, 26 guns, 80 vehicles, Assault Value = 510

Defending force 2097 troops, 42 guns, 18 vehicles, Assault Value = 60

Japanese adjusted assault: 121

Allied adjusted defense: 23

Japanese assault odds: 5 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), leaders(+), fatigue(-), experience(-)
supply(-)
Attacker:

Japanese ground losses:
23 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Vehicles lost 2 (1 destroyed, 1 disabled)


Allied ground losses:
55 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 9 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 3 (1 destroyed, 2 disabled)


Assaulting units:
1st Tank Division
14th Tank Regiment
143rd Infantry Regiment

Defending units:
14th British Brigade

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 9049
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 4:58:33 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		Then there is this. A detachment of 86th Naval Guard, on garrison duty in the Marshalls, has been assigned to find female companionship for the unit as Tokyo is short of Korean Comfort Women and the free market charges too much. Radio intel suggest a detachments of WREN's on Nauru.


*****************Nauru Island, 08:20, Jan 31, 1943(c)*****************


25 Japanese Naval Guard troops surround a bunker carved from bird guano and covered with palm trunks. There are firing holes at intervals around the bunker and an artillery obervors periscope protruding from the roof.



Lt. Watanabe: Give up GI! Where WREN's?

Maj. Reginal Tomkins, CO, and last surviving member of Wren Engineering Detachment: My good man, we have no WREN's. This is the Wren Force Engineering Detachment and I am no GI, I am Major Reginald Tomkins of His Majesty's Armed Forces.

Lt. Watanabe: Give up or we kirr you.

Maj. Reginal Tomkins, CO, and last surviving member of Wren Engineering Detachment: I shan't

Lt. Watanabe: Whata "shan't" mean?

Maj. Reginal Tomkins, CO, and last surviving member of Wren Engineering Detachment: It's a contraction for "shall not". First person singular, future tense, but don't quote me on that.

Lt. Watanabe: Whata "shall not" mean?

Maj. Reginal Tomkins, CO, and last surviving member of Wren Engineering Detachment: Look, you annoying little man, did you come her to fight or for English lessons? I've been waiting for you baaahstards for 14 months. Are you coming or not?

Lt. Watanabe: "Engrish ressons"? <grows visibly agitated> Son of bitch! BANZAI!!!!!

The cry is answerd by the Naval Guardsmen. There is a tremendous volume of gunfire lasting 30 minutes. When the guano dust settles, one can just pick out the spotter periscope searching..moving.


Ground combat at Nauru Island (127,128)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 25 troops, 0 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1

Defending force 0 troops, 0 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1

Japanese adjusted assault: 0

Allied adjusted defense: 5

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 99 (fort level 2)

Combat modifiers
Defender: forts(+), leaders(+)
Attacker: shock(+), leaders(-), supply(-)



Assaulting units:
86th Nav Gd /6

Defending units:
Wren Det.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 9050
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 5:44:37 PM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline

Tour Guide: "And just remember, be extra careful in the countryside between 2 o'clock and 4 o'clock in the afternoon."

Tourists, in unison, with looks of combined wonder and concern (the kind like being apprehensive, not like sympathy or empathy): "Why?"

Tour Guide: "Because, my naive foreign friends, in Morocco 2 to 4 in the afternoon is the time of day when goats jump from the trees!"

Tourists, in unison, with widening eyes and a drawing back (not the artistic kind of drawing, the movement kind): "Uhhh!!!"

Tour Guide, in a menacing tone and posture: "And do you know what is that sticky stuff on the bottom of the goats' hooves? Do you? It is slow tourists!!!"


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 9051
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 8:54:36 PM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

This is a new one:

Good morning SPrior,

An international dynamic art company located in the UK due to an ongoing growth and expansion is currently recruiting for a FS Officer and is pleased to give you this part-time job

There is no limit to the opportunities in our company - so there’s no limit to what you can achieve. Are you seeking a challenging and rewarding part-time employment opportunity leading a team? If so, then the FSO position at our company may be the right position for you!

The description of Financial Services Officer position:
- Two to three hours a day performing your duties over the Internet is sufficient for this position;
- permanent Internet access and e-mail availability;
- Free training while your probationary period will be given;
- Base salary is 1,500 GBP per month during the Trial Period + 8% commission from each successfully handled payment. Total income is about 3,000 GBP per month. After the first 30 days your base salary will be increased up to 1,800 GBP a month.

We provide a one-month paid training period, during which you will receive online training and support, as well as a regular paycheck. During this time, you'll receive all the necessary instructions and training from your supervisor. One week before the training period ends, your supervisor will be making his or her decision, regarding whether your performance has been satisfactory enough to offer full time employment.

If we have sparked your interest and you'd like to learn more, please e-mail us your updated contact information at hr.financedirection@gmail.com. Our recruiter managers will contact you within 2 business days.

Sincerely yours,

Mr. Jack Smith

I bet their employment form asks for you bank account number and Social Security Number [whatever the British equivalent is] so they can direct deposit to your account - and whether you are interested in buying a lovely bridge in Nigeria.

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 9052
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 9:59:11 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		A proper RN joke:

A matelot dancing around Jo's spots (unbelievably) a nice looking bird in the corner. He asks her if she'd like a drink to which she replies
"To be honest do you just fancy taking me home?"
So he takes her home and gets invited in, she asks
"Do you mind me asking, but are you a sailor?"
At this point he knows he has blown it but tells her that he is indeed a sailor
"Oh that's great, my grandad was a sailor - you're the first one I've ever met! Do you smoke?"
Well Jack's over the moon and he answers yes whereby she goes out into the kitchen and brings out 100 Blue Liners!
"You can have these if you like, I don't smoke and they've been in the cupboard for ages! Do you drink?"
Well Jack asks for a lager but she comes back with a bottle of pussers rum. At this point he looks up to the heaven and thanks the God of Jack for this goldmine!
"Do you mind if I slip into something more comfortable" she asks to Jack's delight
When she returns she is wearing a see through nightie with every ship, past and present on the hem. Jack can't believe his luck now, then she purrs at him
"Do you want to come through to the bedroom and play a little game?"
Jack replies


"Bloody hell - you got UCKERS as well!?"

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to BBfanboy)
Post #: 9053
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 10:02:48 PM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline 		A tale for your sons:




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 9054
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/1/2012 10:55:02 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Look. You have alredy been warned. Do you want to go to the Cornefield?


Cabron,

Billyieve me-I was kidding. I doe'n't want to be sent to the "Cornefield" and be the butt of jokes. So, really, I'm on the horns of a dilemma here. No need to be Gruff.

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 9055
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/2/2012 12:08:37 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

A proper RN joke:

A matelot dancing around Jo's spots (unbelievably) a nice looking bird in the corner. He asks her if she'd like a drink to which she replies
"To be honest do you just fancy taking me home?"
So he takes her home and gets invited in, she asks
"Do you mind me asking, but are you a sailor?"
At this point he knows he has blown it but tells her that he is indeed a sailor
"Oh that's great, my grandad was a sailor - you're the first one I've ever met! Do you smoke?"
Well Jack's over the moon and he answers yes whereby she goes out into the kitchen and brings out 100 Blue Liners!
"You can have these if you like, I don't smoke and they've been in the cupboard for ages! Do you drink?"
Well Jack asks for a lager but she comes back with a bottle of pussers rum. At this point he looks up to the heaven and thanks the God of Jack for this goldmine!
"Do you mind if I slip into something more comfortable" she asks to Jack's delight
When she returns she is wearing a see through nightie with every ship, past and present on the hem. Jack can't believe his luck now, then she purrs at him
"Do you want to come through to the bedroom and play a little game?"
Jack replies


"Bloody hell - you got UCKERS as well!?"


Wait...how'd he know that she wasn't going to play WAFU rules? That would be enough to take the fun out of it!

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Post #: 9056
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/2/2012 12:37:33 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

"Bloody hell - you got WITP/AE as well!?"

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 9057
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/2/2012 12:38:04 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

A tale for your sons:







(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 9058
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/2/2012 2:00:41 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

A tale for your sons:



Royal Navy, idn'it? Aren't they the ones that have to share Aircraft carriers and spouses?




Attachment (1)

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Post #: 9059
RE: Robusto Havana - 9/2/2012 9:15:40 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
quote:

Wait...how'd he know that she wasn't going to play WAFU rules? That would be enough to take the fun out of it!


Aaah, the power of Google.

And yes, it would.

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"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 9060
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