Slitherine

quote:

ORIGINAL: DivePac88

Mid-day tithe...

Got this story for you, happened last night it did;

A friend of mind rang me up the other night, and asked me what to do, as the light in their oven has stopped working. So I said it's probably just a blown bulb, explained how to take it out, and put a new one in.

He comes back to me last night, and said the new one wont fit back in properly. So I said to check the bulb thread diameter, is it the same as the socket in the oven. So he puts the phone down and goes away to check.

So after a few seconds I hear him yelling, and his wife screaming, then silents. After a while he comes back and says that the bulb is too big, and he got a hell of an electric shock, by putting a finger in the socket!

quote:

ORIGINAL: DivePac88

Mid-day tithe...

Got this story for you, happened last night it did;

A friend of mind rang me up the other night, and asked me what to do, as the light in their oven has stopped working. So I said it's probably just a blown bulb, explained how to take it out, and put a new one in.

He comes back to me last night, and said the new one wont fit back in properly. So I said to check the bulb thread diameter, is it the same as the socket in the oven. So he puts the phone down and goes away to check.

So after a few seconds I hear him yelling, and his wife screaming, then silents. After a while he comes back and says that the bulb is too big, and he got a hell of an electric shock, by putting a finger in the socket!

Prior Preparation & Planning Prevents Pathetically Poor Performance!

A & B: WitW, WitE, WbtS, GGWaW, GGWaW2-AWD, HttR, CotA, BftB, CF
P: UV, WitP, WitP-AE

quote:

ORIGINAL: jeffk3510

I have a wonderful relationship with my office mgr and wouldn’t know how to function with her.. but for f sake..

To be honest, she is one of my favorite employees…just happens to be the most emotionally unstable human being I have ever met before.

She handles a lot of business for us, and does an amazing job. It just gets really old dealing with women all day long…

My Office Mgr - "(sniffling and crying somewhat) She (accounting dept gal) can't take off for spring break. That's when I want to (waving a finger at me)..that's not fair!"
Me - "(name) I didn't come to work today to hear this s*&%. You're all allowed to take off whenever you want so long as you have vacation days and your work doesn’t suffer”
Office Mgr - "It's still not fair!"
Me - "(daydreaming) Explain"
Office Mgr- "Every time I think of something fun to do, she comes up with the same idea for her family and they do it"
Me – (I can’t possibly counter this, so I just stare at her)…ugh
Office Mgr – “Aren’t you going to say anything to help me out?”
Me - "If I wanted to hire 13 year olds, I would have (name)" Besides, you have two weeks before the summer you have to use or you lose it. You can take time any time you want. Her as well..."
Office Mgr- "How can I take off any time, there is always too much to do here"
Me - "So, what are you bitching about?"
Office Mgr - "Well, if she takes off, it's not fair if I can't"
Me - "Welcome to managing people sweetheart"
Office Mgr – “I don’t like her copying my ideas!”
Me – “I would suggest getting started on the coffee, you know we drink a lot of it..”
Office Mgr – “You never take my side”
Me – “Its ok, I never take her side either, so you’re both f@$#ed. I put up with a crazier one at home. Please take it easy on me today. It’s Monday…

quote:

Office Mgr- "Every time I think of something fun to do, she comes up with the same idea for her family and they do it"
Me – (I can’t possibly counter this, so I just stare at her)…ugh

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me


Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Schanilec
start keeping a bottle of bourbon in the bottom desk drawer for such emergencies.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Pour me one of those, Mike... I just found out I have to pay back taxes...

Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Ron Swanson: Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jeffk3510

I have a wonderful relationship with my office mgr and wouldn’t know how to function with her.. but for f sake..

To be honest, she is one of my favorite employees…just happens to be the most emotionally unstable human being I have ever met before.

She handles a lot of business for us, and does an amazing job. It just gets really old dealing with women all day long…

My Office Mgr - "(sniffling and crying somewhat) She (accounting dept gal) can't take off for spring break. That's when I want to (waving a finger at me)..that's not fair!"
Me - "(name) I didn't come to work today to hear this s*&%. You're all allowed to take off whenever you want so long as you have vacation days and your work doesn’t suffer”
Office Mgr - "It's still not fair!"
Me - "(daydreaming) Explain"
Office Mgr- "Every time I think of something fun to do, she comes up with the same idea for her family and they do it"
Me – (I can’t possibly counter this, so I just stare at her)…ugh
Office Mgr – “Aren’t you going to say anything to help me out?”
Me - "If I wanted to hire 13 year olds, I would have (name)" Besides, you have two weeks before the summer you have to use or you lose it. You can take time any time you want. Her as well..."
Office Mgr- "How can I take off any time, there is always too much to do here"
Me - "So, what are you bitching about?"
Office Mgr - "Well, if she takes off, it's not fair if I can't"
Me - "Welcome to managing people sweetheart"
Office Mgr – “I don’t like her copying my ideas!”
Me – “I would suggest getting started on the coffee, you know we drink a lot of it..”
Office Mgr – “You never take my side”
Me – “Its ok, I never take her side either, so you’re both f@$#ed. I put up with a crazier one at home. Please take it easy on me today. It’s Monday…

Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Ron Swanson: Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kwik E Mart

quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Pour me one of those, Mike... I just found out I have to pay back taxes...

...ugh...i'm feeling ya, T...my wife has been working with a financial planner lately, and i'm starting to realize that i really needed to pay more attention to what was going on...

WU: "We owe a lot of back taxes this year for switching our IRA's to Roth"
Me: "How the <bleep> did that happen?!?!?"
WU: "Switching to Roth means we have to pay taxes on the money now versus later"
Me: "I understand that...I'm asking why the financial advisor didn't warn us about it"
WU: "Well, she probably did. I must have not understood what she was talking about"
Me: <blank stare, silently cursing myself out> "I'm going to the bar. Need a Jack and coke"

...ain't life grand?...