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RE: Odin, up close and personal

 
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RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/27/2013 6:05:23 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
Please contact your local mental health professional. We have teams standing by.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Mike McCreery)
Post #: 13441
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/27/2013 6:52:44 AM   
witpqs


Posts: 26087
Joined: 10/4/2004
From: Argleton
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Please contact your local mental health professional. We have teams standing by.

Good heavens, read the whole thing in one day! If he survives he'll be confined for months.

_____________________________


(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 13442
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/27/2013 3:25:13 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
The young lad did not say he read it in one day. He might have a job, unlike some of you senior-living community residents. And, thank you Wargmr.


This brings up an interesting question. Admiral Lord SPrior, do you have a pleasant speaking voice..you know..like David Attenborough? We could do an audio version. You could do all the Engrish stuff, especially the Jackspeak, although you might have to tone it down a bit.

I can do pretty good fake, cartoonishly oversimplified Japan-mens speak.

(in reply to zuluhour)
Post #: 13443
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/27/2013 3:31:16 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
I can also do fake Russian and fake dropped out of 6th grade Mexican trying to speak-ah da Engrish. Anything else and it ends up sounding like Borat.

Can you do fake Free French? Or fake Dutch (whatever that sounds rike)?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13444
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/27/2013 3:45:16 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
Who ordered all these damn Kingfishers?




Attachment (1)

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13445
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/27/2013 3:48:41 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
*************Office of CNO, D Ring Pentagon************


Admiral King: <looking at an investment portfolio report> Vought Aircraft, up 230%. Thank you M&M Investment Management.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13446
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/27/2013 11:11:20 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
Just got an email from the hospital on "Medication Reconciliation" on the new EMR. Basically, this means ordering medications.

There is a branching flow diagram with half a dozen branch points. Even the most favorable one has 10 steps and 3 passwords per medication.

Please make them stop. Please.

It's almost as bad a Dec 7 Japanese turn.

(in reply to zuluhour)
Post #: 13447
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/27/2013 11:17:36 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
No turn last night so I got desperate enough to tear the couch apart to find the Netflix controller. I found it and binge-watched 3 epsiodes of Breaking Bad.

Saul Goodman (named after my Mexican gardener or the other way around)*: "Sometimes things don't go exactly as planned. We have a problem with Ted Beneke.

Skyler: <dramatic pause> He's.....Dead?

Saul Goodman (named after my Mexican gardener or the other way around): No, he woke up.





*Curiously, both Sauls are non-Jewish.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/27/2013 11:27:10 PM >

(in reply to zuluhour)
Post #: 13448
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/27/2013 11:26:46 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
**********Mexican Restaurant near Mandrake household (all females order girls wear button up shirts but food is cheap)**********



SG Jr(12y/o): I have to get home to write up a short biography on Mohammed.

Me: Mohammed?

SG Jr(12y/o): Yeah, he was an orphan. Do you know who he was?

Me: Yeah, he's the reason I have to take my shoes off at the airport.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13449
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/27/2013 11:38:44 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*************Office of CNO, D Ring Pentagon************


Admiral King: <looking at an investment portfolio report> Vought Aircraft, up 230%. Thank you M&M Investment Management.


Do you think it an accident that John Voight played you know who in a certain M&M themed movie?

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13450
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 12:25:09 AM   
Disco Duck


Posts: 552
Joined: 11/16/2004
From: San Antonio
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**********Mexican Restaurant near Mandrake household (all females order girls wear button up shirts but food is cheap)**********



SG Jr(12y/o): I have to get home to write up a short biography on Mohammed.

Me: Mohammed?

SG Jr(12y/o): Yeah, he was an orphan. Do you know who he was?

Me: Yeah, he's the reason I have to take my shoes off at the airport.



Actually a short biography of Mohammed Ali might be interesting.

Ooops! You mean the other one. Make sure SG Jr mentions the fact that his wife was younger than she is. Toward Mecca of course.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13451
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 9:12:02 AM   
sprior


Posts: 8596
Joined: 6/18/2002
From: Portsmouth, UK
Status: offline
An audiobook version for the hard of hearing? Yes, I can do the proper English, Indian (althought it might sound Welsh at times), jackspeak and French. Cap, if you do the oriental languages can we get someone to do version of English you lot speak?*

*No financial remuneration implied or warranted. All rights remain with The World's Worst AAR (tm) Ltd and M&M Enterprises Inc. Full T&Cs available from Messrs Sue, Grabbit and Runne.

< Message edited by sprior -- 9/28/2013 9:13:38 AM >


_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Disco Duck)
Post #: 13452
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 1:52:28 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

An audiobook version for the hard of hearing? Yes, I can do the proper English, Indian (althought it might sound Welsh at times), jackspeak and French. Cap, if you do the oriental languages can we get someone to do version of English you lot speak?*

*No financial remuneration implied or warranted. All rights remain with The World's Worst AAR (tm) Ltd and M&M Enterprises Inc. Full T&Cs available from Messrs Sue, Grabbit and Runne.


I can-ah do Amer-ee-cahn version of Engrish! Hai!

One-ah question, prease? Instead of working for T&C, prease to work for T&A? Domo. Hai!

_____________________________


(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 13453
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 3:26:39 PM   
Mike McCreery


Posts: 4232
Joined: 6/29/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The young lad did not say he read it in one day. He might have a job, unlike some of you senior-living community residents. And, thank you Wargmr.


This brings up an interesting question. Admiral Lord SPrior, do you have a pleasant speaking voice..you know..like David Attenborough? We could do an audio version. You could do all the Engrish stuff, especially the Jackspeak, although you might have to tone it down a bit.

I can do pretty good fake, cartoonishly oversimplified Japan-mens speak.


I wouldnt say I was a young lad at 40+ but I guess that is relative. It probably took me the good part of a month to get through the whole thing. Learned alot of stuff about Mayan housekeepers, HOA's, wardrobe malfunctions, the IRS, and it reinforced once again the advantages of being single...




_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13454
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 4:46:15 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
My definition of "young" is when there is an active player (not coaches or owners) in the NFL younger than you.


Unfortunately for me, George Blanda retired.

(in reply to zuluhour)
Post #: 13455
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 5:14:39 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
I fear Rord Admirar Nerson has been abducted for a smoke house ceremony. Probably they needed someone to chop wood.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13456
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 5:53:38 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
How did we lose so many P-40E's? I blame the staff.

We lose 3/4th of a C-47 every day to op losses.






Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/28/2013 5:54:16 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13457
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 6:04:30 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
********Briefing Room, Tenth Air Force, Ledo************


Gen. Albert "Big Al" Hagenberger, CO, Tenth Air Force: <Speaking to the assembled C-47 pilots of Tenth Air Force>

Men...<dramatic pause>, today...<more pausing, a bit annoying if you ask me> May 15, 1943...<more pausing, OK, out with it, at least 95% in the audience know what day it is> three fourths of one of you is not coming back <men in the audience now stir uncomfortably wondering which 3/4th of a person it will be> I am here to say thank you to that three quarters of one of you.

Lt. Stokely: <sitting in back, whispers to his friend> What a ******* retard.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/28/2013 6:05:35 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13458
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 6:11:13 PM   
zuluhour


Posts: 5244
Joined: 1/20/2011
From: Maryland
Status: offline
Do you think he means 3/4 by weight or has he worked out some kind of body part ratio? For that one guy, why bring back any of him? Pretty freakin gross if you ask me. He should at least send a zip lock with them, help with the mess. Perhaps he has been indulging himself.





Attachment (1)

< Message edited by zuluhour -- 9/28/2013 6:14:42 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13459
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 6:46:55 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

We lose 3/4th of a C-47 every day to op losses.



One would think that keeping them intact at the front may reduce OPS losses, but what the heck do I know?

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13460
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 7:50:59 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
I can't remember if I took my medicine this morning.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 13461
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 9:53:03 PM   
Grollub


Posts: 6674
Joined: 10/9/2005
From: Lulea, Sweden
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

The young lad did not say he read it in one day. He might have a job, unlike some of you senior-living community residents. And, thank you Wargmr.


This brings up an interesting question. Admiral Lord SPrior, do you have a pleasant speaking voice..you know..like David Attenborough? We could do an audio version. You could do all the Engrish stuff, especially the Jackspeak, although you might have to tone it down a bit.

I can do pretty good fake, cartoonishly oversimplified Japan-mens speak.


Hey, why don't you go for the movie adaption instead.

Oh joy, think of the wonders of letting the AAR regulars choose which actors to play FAM and Lord Admiral sprior

I think this dude could do a convincing FAM




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

“Not mastering metaphores is like cooking pasta when the train is delayed"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13462
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 11:03:33 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
Well, that kinda does look like me but I am never that sweaty unless a staff flunkie forgets to turn off the training on the Wildcat squadrons in a carrier battle.

No, wait, the time the IRS guy came over to my house. That too.

(in reply to Grollub)
Post #: 13463
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 11:34:49 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
Admiral Lord SPrior (pictured as a Captain). He looks kinda worried. Port Blair maybe.




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(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13464
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 11:36:02 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
His new secretary.




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(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13465
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 11:38:00 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
Wait...that doesn't sound Engrish.


Perhaps, "Shall I sit on your lap while I take notes, sir?"

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13466
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/28/2013 11:53:38 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

<I and do>.....Indian (althought it might sound Welsh at times).....


I wouldn't worry about that. Nobody over here knows what Welsh sounds like.

You just need to sound like Apu Nahasapeemapetilon from the The Simpsons.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 13467
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/29/2013 12:21:46 AM   
zuluhour


Posts: 5244
Joined: 1/20/2011
From: Maryland
Status: offline
I hope you can find a role for Madonna's grandma.
Look how hard it is for her to get ready for casting.




Attachment (1)

< Message edited by zuluhour -- 9/29/2013 12:22:42 AM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13468
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/29/2013 1:04:31 AM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002
From: Southern California
Status: offline
Ah, yes, the Mark VII armored bustier and radar scattering device from Fredrick's of Hollywood. Several prototypes were ordered but the contact was cancelled due to restirctions on crew access and problems with chafing.

Or is it "chaffing"?

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 9/29/2013 1:06:13 AM >

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 13469
RE: Odin, up close and personal - 9/29/2013 1:16:39 AM   
desicat

 

Posts: 542
Joined: 5/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

********Briefing Room, Tenth Air Force, Ledo************


Gen. Albert "Big Al" Hagenberger, CO, Tenth Air Force: <Speaking to the assembled C-47 pilots of Tenth Air Force>

Men...<dramatic pause>, today...<more pausing, a bit annoying if you ask me> May 15, 1943...<more pausing, OK, out with it, at least 95% in the audience know what day it is> three fourths of one of you is not coming back <men in the audience now stir uncomfortably wondering which 3/4th of a person it will be> I am here to say thank you to that three quarters of one of you.

Lt. Stokely: <sitting in back, whispers to his friend> What a ******* retard.


Isn't it obvious? After a quick trip to sickbay the newly christened 3/4's "men" will be set to join the newly stood up Lesbian-Gay-Transgender task force! Led and trained by Thai drill instructors from Bangkok of course.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 13470
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