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RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!"

 
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RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/19/2014 9:46:32 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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**************House of Morgan, Manhattan, July 2, 1943(c)***************


"Jack" Morgan Jr.: Wait, what do you call these things again?


I.Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Bomb damage default swaps, sir. You see, the buyer, who wishes to reduce risk, pays a fee to the seller, that would be you, who then gets to keep the fees if there is no loss by the end of the contract. If there is a loss, the seller agrees to compensate the buyer, but here is the beautiful part, the risk of loss is dramatically reduced because the contract includes a large geographic area. The contract will be profitable even if there a few losses. Based on historical patterns, we estimate the risk of loss at .0012%.


"Jack" Morgan Jr.: Where are the buyers located?


I.Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Kyushu

(in reply to Wirraway_Ace)
Post #: 14731
RE: Thank you & God bless - 2/19/2014 10:30:50 PM   
poodlebrain

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Not sure how you would use calculus but probably some math geek could derive the formula for the area of a circle from the formula for the area of a regular polygon as then number of sides approaches infinty. /
quote:


Geometry is the simplest and most elegant means to solving this problem. My bringing trigonometry and calculus into it was really just me remembering how my father the physicist would confuse the hell out of me when I asked him for help doing my math homework as a kid. He used trig and calculus at work so those were his fallback methods of solving problems.

_____________________________

Never trust a man who's ass is wider than his shoulders.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14732
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/20/2014 12:30:12 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
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From: San Antonio, TX
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Jack Morgan Jr.: [spit take]

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14733
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/20/2014 4:08:45 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Jack Morgan Jr.: [spit take]


Where do you think the elitist 1% baaahstards got the idea?

(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 14734
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/20/2014 4:20:22 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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***************Office of CINCPAC, Honolulu, July 2, 1943(c)**************


Aide: It's North Carolina sir, her starboard shaft is deformed from that torpedo hit she took off Miyako-jima.

Adm Kimmel: DAMN IT ALL! Goddamn Jap subs. The whole damn race is made for subs. They don't have to duck going through the bulkheads. More room for pipes and stuff like that.

Aide: Yes sir, that's what BUORD says, "more pipes" sir.

Adm Kimmel: Well, send her back to Frisco, I guess. Who holds the torpedo damage default swap on her?

Aide: <looks at clipboard> The Joseph P. and Rose Elizabeth Kennedy Family Trust, sir. <they both begin giggling>

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14735
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/20/2014 4:34:45 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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************Haha-jima School of Yiddish Comedy***********


Mr. Thomas, Special Guest Lecturer in Cultural Diversity: Right, so let me show you how to do a proper spit-take. <picks up coffe cup daintily and begins sipping while he nods to his aide>

Aide: Good news boss! We found your daughters missing pet frog! <Mr. Thomas looks over, coffee cup to his lips> In the coffee pot.

Mr. Thomas, Special Guest Lecturer in Cultural Diversity: <eyes grow suddenly wide and he sprays coffee loudly about 3 rows back in the lecture hall. Non Japan-mens support staff laugh heartily but all the students sit stoicly> Wow, tough crowd. Look, Hata, you try it.

<Mr Hata comes up and begins to sip the coffee just as shown. Mr. Thomas nods to the aide>

Aide: Good news boss! We found your daughters missing pet frog! In the coffee pot.

Mr. Hata: <Covers his mouth with his free hand and discretely dribbles the coffee back into the cup>

Mr. Thomas, Special Guest Lecturer in Cultural Diversity: <face palm>


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 2/20/2014 5:36:26 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14736
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/21/2014 12:52:25 AM   
zuluhour


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Say, when do you fellows get hold of JP40? You obviously don't need the gadget. You know, hurry this thing along, I want to get this translated into Japanese and get a copyright before I forget why I want the money. Or at least get it published before I lose my only member. I ain't getting any younger. Speaking of which, don't forget to put a copy under your deck, another few pages ought be a perfect fit. Oh yeah, and I would refrain from any of that wrought iron garden furniture, at least until you get hold of that termite. GEEEEZ that bugger has got to be HUGE!

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14737
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/21/2014 1:51:39 AM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: zuluhour
before I lose my only member. I ain't getting any younger.


Has it been known to spontaneously fall off? Cap'n-you're the physician here-is this a real concern with the aging process?

_____________________________


(in reply to zuluhour)
Post #: 14738
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/21/2014 1:52:50 AM   
Chickenboy


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From: San Antonio, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************Haha-jima School of Yiddish Comedy***********


Mr. Thomas, Special Guest Lecturer in Cultural Diversity: Right, so let me show you how to do a proper spit-take. <picks up coffe cup daintily and begins sipping while he nods to his aide>

Aide: Good news boss! We found your daughters missing pet frog! <Mr. Thomas looks over, coffee cup to his lips> In the coffee pot.

Mr. Thomas, Special Guest Lecturer in Cultural Diversity: <eyes grow suddenly wide and he sprays coffee loudly about 3 rows back in the lecture hall. Non Japan-mens support staff laugh heartily but all the students sit stoicly> Wow, tough crowd. Look, Hata, you try it.

<Mr Hata comes up and begins to sip the coffee just as shown. Mr. Thomas nods to the aide>

Aide: Good news boss! We found your daughters missing pet frog! In the coffee pot.

Mr. Hata: <Covers his mouth with his free hand and discretely dribbles the coffee back into the cup>

Mr. Thomas, Special Guest Lecturer in Cultural Diversity: <face palm>





_____________________________


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Post #: 14739
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/21/2014 1:15:45 PM   
uncivil_servant


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Are there any choreographers or palette consultants in the readership?

Here is the problem. Frau Braun already approved the exterior paint colors which were selected from a palette recommended by Dunn Edwards after consultation, no doubt, with choreographers and palette consultant types.

So far, so good, but here is the problem. After 19 years with no rain gutters, the architect, my brother, told me I was an idiot and advised rain gutters. So we get in the "gutter guy" and he says "you don't want any crappy latex paint on my powder painted, heat cured gutters". His color palette is close to the Dunn Edwards but even I can see the difference. Some of the walls are over 30 feet high so you can't easily repaint the gutters once they are up unless you paint them in place at the same time as the walls.


Now what?


Here is what I predict. I put up the gutters and never rains in Southern California again for 50 years.


If this is still an in-process situation get from Frau Blucher the Paint Code and Manufacturer of the paint she proposes using (or buy the paint yourself)as even paint labeled the exact same but made by two different companies will have shade differences as the gutter contractor is using a paint palette from HIS preferred provider.

..and don't let him paint them "by the hour" once they are installed.

..and make sure if you pay them to paint them with multiple coats you define "coats" as legally they can claim paint brush up to down is 1 coat and then down to up is another.

Enjoying the Arried adventure you two...

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14740
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/21/2014 7:10:15 PM   
sprior


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...




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to uncivil_servant)
Post #: 14741
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/21/2014 8:22:51 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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The baaahstard!

You see, s*** like that is the reason the sticky greens stopped working

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 14742
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/21/2014 8:45:34 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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I went to In and Out for lunch (hamburger joint even though it sounds like a "full release" massage business). I had nothing to read so I read a data pamphlet extracted from the....wait for it.......AE manual.


Did you know you have to set dive bombers to 20 K (or under 10K) to get them to level bomb? At 16-19K they glide bomb.


I thought it was 15K. Damn it! No wonder they were taking flak damage over land targets.

Why doesn't soembody tell us these things?

What is the altitude for TBF's to level bomb?

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14743
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/22/2014 12:41:01 AM   
zuluhour


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hmmmmm





Attachment (1)

< Message edited by zuluhour -- 2/22/2014 1:41:31 AM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14744
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/22/2014 8:52:40 PM   
sprior


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From: Portsmouth, UK
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Sea dog




Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to Wirraway_Ace)
Post #: 14745
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/22/2014 9:29:41 PM   
zuluhour


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Sprior, that dogs eyes remind me of somebody...Does the Royal Navy condone dogs ship board? Looks like he gets a rum ration as well.

< Message edited by zuluhour -- 2/22/2014 10:30:47 PM >

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Post #: 14746
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 2:06:36 AM   
Chickenboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Sea dog





Winston Churchill?

_____________________________


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Post #: 14747
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 8:14:02 AM   
sprior


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quote:

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

Sprior, that dogs eyes remind me of somebody...Does the Royal Navy condone dogs ship board? Looks like he gets a rum ration as well.


The RN used to be very tolerant of animals onboard ships, cats, dogs, birds but with the rise of "hygiene" animals on warships were banned in 1975.

I wouldn't have wanted to be drafted to the same ship as this one:

Unsinkable Sam[edit]

Main article: Unsinkable Sam

Previously named Oscar, he was the ship's cat of the German battleship Bismarck. When she was sunk on 27 May 1941, only 116 out of a crew of over 2,200 survived. Oscar was picked up by the destroyer HMS Cossack. Cossack herself was torpedoed and sunk a few months later, on 24 October, killing 159 of her crew, but Oscar again survived to be rescued, and was taken to Gibraltar. He became the ship's cat of HMS Ark Royal and was torpedoed and sunk in November that year. Oscar was again rescued, but it was decided at that time to transfer him to a home on land. By now known as Unsinkable Sam, he was given a new job as mouse-catcher in the Governor General of Gibraltar's office buildings. He eventually returned to the UK and spent the rest of his life at the 'Home for Sailors'. A portrait of him hangs in the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich.


_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



(in reply to zuluhour)
Post #: 14748
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 2:46:33 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Evidentry, Admirar Rord Fabertrong found an internet connection on Lief Ericson's boat. Those Vikings, loadstone compasses...and now internet connections at sea.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14749
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 2:47:33 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior


quote:

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

Sprior, that dogs eyes remind me of somebody...Does the Royal Navy condone dogs ship board? Looks like he gets a rum ration as well.


The RN used to be very tolerant of animals onboard ships, cats, dogs, birds but with the rise of "hygiene" animals on warships were banned in 1975.

I wouldn't have wanted to be drafted to the same ship as this one:

Unsinkable Sam[edit]

Main article: Unsinkable Sam

Previously named Oscar, he was the ship's cat of the German battleship Bismarck. When she was sunk on 27 May 1941, only 116 out of a crew of over 2,200 survived. Oscar was picked up by the destroyer HMS Cossack. Cossack herself was torpedoed and sunk a few months later, on 24 October, killing 159 of her crew, but Oscar again survived to be rescued, and was taken to Gibraltar. He became the ship's cat of HMS Ark Royal and was torpedoed and sunk in November that year. Oscar was again rescued, but it was decided at that time to transfer him to a home on land. By now known as Unsinkable Sam, he was given a new job as mouse-catcher in the Governor General of Gibraltar's office buildings. He eventually returned to the UK and spent the rest of his life at the 'Home for Sailors'. A portrait of him hangs in the National Maritime Museum in Greenwich.




Oscar should have been sent as a peace offering to Yamamoto.

(in reply to sprior)
Post #: 14750
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 2:50:17 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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******************July 3, 1943(c)*******************

Formosa: Japan-mens trick us yesterday with fighters over Karenko. Out intel guys guess Japan-mens fighters rearry coming from Taihoku. <raspberry sound>

Morning Air attack on Taihoku , at 87,63

Weather in hex: Heavy rain

Raid spotted at 28 NM, estimated altitude 36,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 10 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-44-IIa Tojo x 12

Allied aircraft
F4U-1 Corsair x 18

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-44-IIa Tojo: 5 destroyed

Allied aircraft losses
F4U-1 Corsair: 1 destroyed

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14751
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 3:06:29 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Okinawa: Big B-24 raid over the port at Naha. Trying to get suppry hits. Only one achieved. Medium bombers go after the ground troops. We lose another B-25 and a Beaufort. JJ has some serious flak guns at Naha.

Some staff flunkie evidentry reave on "remain on station" button on USS Washington so she just sat there leisurely in broad daylight lobbing 16 inch shells at Naha. Nothing bad happened, perhaps because of the P-47's on CAP duty at Kume jima.

Naval bombardment of Naha at 95,66

Allied Ships
BB Washington

Japanese ground losses:
193 casualties reported
Squads: 2 destroyed, 4 disabled
Non Combat: 7 destroyed, 6 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 2 disabled
Vehicles lost 1 (1 destroyed, 0 disabled)

BB Washington firing at 48th Division


More engineers successfully ashore at Kume-jima. Still repairing damage to port ..then we start building airfield up.

Big artillery duel at Naha. We win but it still seems to early to attack given the terrain and their remaining strength.

Japanese Bombardment attack

Attacking force 15137 troops, 156 guns, 75 vehicles, Assault Value = 1013

Defending force 42807 troops, 805 guns, 760 vehicles, Assault Value = 1285

Japanese ground losses:
110 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 8 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 1 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 2 (1 destroyed, 1 disabled)

Allied ground losses:
35 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 2 (1 destroyed, 1 disabled)

Assaulting units:
1st/B Division
Guards Mixed Brigade
1st Ind.Tank Co
48th Division
1st/C Division
25th Air Flotilla
29th Field AF Construction Battalion
4th Shipping Engineer Regiment
39th Field AA Battalion
1st Art.Mortar Regiment
19th JAAF Base Force
41st Field AA Battalion
38th Field AA Battalion
13th Ind.Hvy.Art Battalion
5th Naval Construction Battalion
58th Field AA Battalion
50th JNAF Coy

Defending units:
32nd Infantry Division
22nd Marine Regiment
161st Infantry Regiment
131st Combat Engineer Regiment
1st Marine Division
34th Combat Engineer Regiment
8th Australian Division
2nd Eng Amph Bde
2nd Medium Regiment
Southwest Pacific
F Det USN Port Svc


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 2/23/2014 4:15:29 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14752
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 3:10:43 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Beazelbob: Intel showed 4 juicy tankers at Beazelbob. We sortie Yorktown from Luzon with a shedload of Hellcats (64 to be exact) and a 15 plane squadron of dive bombers and some RAF torpedo bombers (tha's all that would fit). Turns out they are AK's. Oh well, good practice.

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Babeldaob at 90,97

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid spotted at 40 NM, estimated altitude 16,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 17 minutes

Allied aircraft
Albacore I x 8
F6F-3 Hellcat x 18
SB2C-1C Helldiver x 12

Allied aircraft losses
Albacore I: 1 damaged
SB2C-1C Helldiver: 2 damaged

Japanese Ships
xAK Nitiho Maru, Bomb hits 1, on fire
xAK Hokusin Maru
xAK Kotohira Maru
xAK Tyoko Maru, Bomb hits 1
xAK Akasi Maru, Bomb hits 1, on fire

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14753
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 3:18:51 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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Stingray sinks a TK. This must be over by Western Borneo or Sumatra.

Never heard of Djemadja.

Sub attack near Djemadja at 52,83

Japanese Ships
TK Tatekawa Maru, Torpedo hits 2, on fire
DD Hatsuyuki

Allied Ships
SS Stingray, hits 1

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14754
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 3:23:16 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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From: Southern California
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Bay of Bengal/Burma: It is quiet, almost TOO quiet. Suddenly, the calm is shattered by...no....just kidding. A very large number of ships are making their way in a Northeastery fashion toward the Ganges delta area where they are to turn south and head for Moulmein with air cover from our bases in NW Burma.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14755
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 3:23:19 PM   
Ol_Dog


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Stingray was also in Charleston and Norfolk - in Down Periscope

I always remember that and Lauren Holly when I see a reference to USS Stingray

_____________________________

Common Sense is an uncommon virtue.
If you think you have everything under control, you don't fully understand the situation.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14756
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 3:37:30 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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From: Southern California
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Operation Sticky Green: All of the first wave trooops for the Kuriles and Sakhalin are embarked and heading for a rendezvous about 400 m South of Adak.

Air units:

Heavy Bombers:

--2 squadrons (12 ea) of B-24's drawing aircraft and "veteran" crews at Adak. They should be at full strength in about 4 d
--2 squadrons of USN PB4Y (12e ea) at Amchitka and Seattle. They will be ready but don't have much experience.

All these planes have to share the level 5 field at Shemya. They won't have much staying power but might be enough to shut down Paramashiro-jima airfield.

Medium Bombers:

4 x unrestricted B-25 (16 ea) squadrons at Adak. They can't hit anything from the Aleutians but they can fly in if we capture a level 2 field (Shimihura jima or Onnekatan-jima).

Bunch of restricted Venturas with snazzy blue paint jobs. They can search for sea mammals and such.

Recon: 2 squadrons 8 ea) PB4Y-1P at Amchitka. They can reach all the targets from there but are quiet for now. Some Wildcat recon on one of the carriers.

Fighters:

2 squadrons P-38H in the Aleutians. Should be ready when needed.
1 squadrons P-47's aboard a CVE that can fly off to an airifield when ready.
1 reserve squadron Hellcats in the Aleutians
2 squadrons P-40K. They can fly in to O-jima if it is captured.

Carrier based:

--80 F6F/TBF aboard 3 CVE
--110 F6F/SBD/TBF aboard Essex and Independence

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 2/23/2014 5:04:30 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14757
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 3:39:45 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ol_Dog

Stingray was also in Charleston and Norfolk - in Down Periscope

I always remember that and Lauren Holly when I see a reference to USS Stingray



Was that her in the too tight uniform with her breastesses popping out? She could be a very succesful waitress if the Dive Officer thing doesn't work out..

(in reply to Ol_Dog)
Post #: 14758
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 3:42:32 PM   
witpqs


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Stingray sinks a TK. This must be over by Western Borneo or Sumatra.

Never heard of Djemadja.

Sub attack near Djemadja at 52,83

Japanese Ships
TK Tatekawa Maru, Torpedo hits 2, on fire
DD Hatsuyuki

Allied Ships
SS Stingray, hits 1


The Morse Code operator sneezed. Reply "gazoontight!"

_____________________________


(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 14759
RE: "Fukoku Maru, pal!" - 2/23/2014 4:07:58 PM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
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From: San Antonio, TX
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Was that her in the too tight uniform with her breastesses popping out? She could be a very succesful waitress if the Dive Officer thing doesn't work out..


It's too bad, but I think she will be successful as a Dive Officer. Can you imagine any seaman resisting her when she orders them to "go down"?

_____________________________


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Post #: 14760
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