RE: De Groot

RE: De Groot (Full Version)

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Cap Mandrake -> RE: De Groot (12/23/2009 5:41:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rtrapasso Uh oh... is deGroot about to spend the rest of WW2b in a POW camp?? [X(] [&:] OK, Mr. Smartypants, how do you know he doesn't get cut in half by Jap war criminal 20 mm fire as he descends under the silk? Hmmmm?

Cap Mandrake -> The Black Pearl (12/23/2009 5:54:20 PM)
Last Christmas I got Stalker Girl a really cool set of black pearl ear rings and necklace. It was a chunk of change involving numerous pictures of Mr. Franklin. She liked them but chided me for not using "her jewler" because it could be inferred I "paid too much". [8\|] Holy Hell! Who has a personal jewler if your last name isn't Onasis or something? It's not an elitism thing as I was being gently corrected for overspending, although I am still not sure if I should have bought roughly the same set for a lower price or spent the same and got bigger pearls. [:)] On balance, it seemed like a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode. So this year, I wised up (I thought). I asked Stalker Girl a few days ago, "Would you like something practical this year?" I was thinking a cool food processor or something but she seemed to be worred it would a new cyclotronic vacuum cleaner with HEPA filter. "What do you mean, PRACTICAL?" I am going for a bed and breakfast gift. Wait...I just thought of something...what if she invites someone else? [X(]That would be a real punch in the gut.

rtrapasso -> RE: De Groot (12/23/2009 5:56:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake quote: ORIGINAL: rtrapasso Uh oh... is deGroot about to spend the rest of WW2b in a POW camp?? [X(] [&:] OK, Mr. Smartypants, how do you know he doesn't get cut in half by Jap war criminal 20 mm fire as he descends under the silk? Hmmmm? Er... cause he's writing about it afterwards??

rtrapasso -> RE: The Black Pearl (12/23/2009 5:57:53 PM)
quote: I am going for a bed and breakfast gift Be sure to use her personal travel agent! [:'(]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: De Groot (12/23/2009 6:10:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rtrapasso quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake quote: ORIGINAL: rtrapasso Uh oh... is deGroot about to spend the rest of WW2b in a POW camp?? [X(] [&:] OK, Mr. Smartypants, how do you know he doesn't get cut in half by Jap war criminal 20 mm fire as he descends under the silk? Hmmmm? Er... cause he's writing about it afterwards?? Showoff [:'(]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: De Groot (12/24/2009 8:28:19 PM)
"Hey beautiful, what time do you get off work?" T. Woods (2005,2006,20062007,2007,2007,2008,2008,2008,2008,2009,2009,2009,2009,2009,2009,2009,2009) [image]local://upfiles/7983/4715C61D539249DE9EC26F0A87AC3A3C.jpg[/image]

BrucePowers -> RE: De Groot (12/24/2009 8:49:44 PM)
Well, the way things are going he won't be a POW long. Unless they put him on a sub to get him to a POW camp in Japan........

Cap Mandrake -> Night stand (12/26/2009 4:14:45 AM)
The other night, about 4 AM, I was getting up to take a leak. That is annoying enough, but it was also cold. It was cold enough that I began to think...you know...if you lived in an igloo you wouldn't have to stumble across the igloo looking for the bathroom in the dark, you could just stand up and find a sutiable section of wall. After a couple of nights you could have yourself a nice night stand. Anyway..young De Groot is in and out of trouble. [image]local://upfiles/7983/2A89D3B588194C999BAE380E1C3A8E4B.jpg[/image]

Cap Mandrake -> For Hire (12/26/2009 4:48:22 AM)
*****Isolated Beach, Northern Sulawese, 00:12, May 22, 1943*** From two small outrigger canoes, a light blinks in Morse the letter "M". From seaward, the signal is returned. The canoes silently close the gap. The silhouette of a surfaced submarine appears. The first canoes bumps into the submarine hull. Astonishingly, the canoes are powered by three beautiful, bare breasted Sulawese women in each canoe. It is not so much astonishing that they are beautiful or that they are engaged in a dangerous activity in the middle of the night or even that they are bare breasted. It has more to do with the interplay between firm young breasts and paddling and the action of waves. Take my word for it was soemthing to see. In the lead canoe a young man in a fine silk shirt begins to speak. Young man in a fine silk shirt: ITO-SAN! You crazy SOB, how the Hell are you? Submariner:Miro, why you bring womans? Young man in a fine silk shirt: Partly for the sheer aesthetic grace of the things and it also is guaranteed to parlyze MP's for 2-3 minutes. I got to tell you Ito-san, you act like you never saw a naked woman before. How are things between you and your bride? Submariner: She dump Ito. She say she want man with ronger fingers. Young man in a fine silk shirt: SON OF BITCH ITO-SAN! War is Hell. Well, you take your cut of the money and find yourself another girl. By the way, where are you operating from? Submariner: Manira. Young man in a fine silk shirt: Well get the Hell out you crazy SOB. Y'all are getting your ass kicked in the PI. Got the gold and the package? Submariner: Yes. <He issues some orders in Japanese, a clever move on his part as few of his crew speak Engrish and absolutely nobody aboard speaks Portuguese. Four sailors lower a very heavy wooden crate into one canoe and a tall, beautiful woman with Germanic features steps into the first canoe.> Young man in a fine silk shirt: Hey Ito-san. You tell that skinflint Yamashita he still owes me for the rental property in Java. Submariner: Ito no tell Yamashita he skinfrint. Ito rike to rive. Young man in a fine silk shirt:** <He signals for the canoe to push off> OK, Ito-san, just tell him we need to renegotiate before any more ops. AND WATCH OUT FOR ICEBERGS.....

Cap Mandrake -> Ms. Steinham (12/27/2009 9:21:05 PM)
Guest Editor Ms. G. Steinham; I take great pride in announcing the Board's prospective censure of a contributor to this forum whose sophomoric postings often portray women in various stages of undress or, when fully clothed, in subservient roles or even traitorous...<POOF>

BrucePowers -> RE: Ms. Steinham (12/29/2009 12:18:18 PM)
I told you he would not be a prisoner long.[:)]

rtrapasso -> RE: Ms. Steinham (12/29/2009 6:10:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrucePowers I told you he would not be a prisoner long.[:)] 1 month... not too bad... not sure how this worked in terms of game mechanics, but hey... on with the story![sm=00000613.gif]

Cap Mandrake -> Coastwatcher (12/29/2009 8:02:32 PM)
Well..Northern Mindanao crumbled quickly. There are still Japs withering in Southern Mindanao. In fact, there is WHOLE lotta witherin' goin' on. ****New Zealand Command HQ, Auckalnd, New Zealand, August 4, 1943** Lt. Gen Puttick: <Stands and salutes from a viewing stand as troops of 1st NZ Brigade pass in inspection. A lone bugler plays taps. As the first battalion passes he leans over to his aide.> "Taps", is that really appropriate? Aide: It's all he knows sir. Lt. Gen Puttick: Where the Hell is the band? Aide: Dunedin, sir. Lt. Gen Puttick: Who sent them there? Aide: I believe you ordered it, sir. Lt. Gen Puttick: Well, unorder it then. Aide: Yes, and the American General? The band was there to keep him occupied. Lt. Gen Puttick: Good Lord, is he still there? Aide: Yes, sir. Something about coastwatcher duties. Lt. Gen Puttick:** Coastwatcher? Why he has more to fear from an angry gaggle of Moa than he has from the Japanese at this point. Get hold of Admiral Ghormley and see if we can get him relieved. I want my band back.

BrucePowers -> RE: Coastwatcher (12/29/2009 9:05:03 PM)
Sounds like a line from the Best Little WhoreHouse in Texas[:D]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: Coastwatcher (12/31/2009 11:30:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrucePowers Sounds like a line from the Best Little WhoreHouse in Texas[:D] You mean Number 2, in Dunedin, isn't getting "relief" (in the Biblical sense I mean)? You are wrong. He has Jean.

Cap Mandrake -> Desperation (1/1/2010 11:28:39 PM)
*****Aboard USS George Vancouver, part of a convoy with SWPAC HQ embarked, 60 NM SW of Amboina, August 12, 1943*** Col. Corleone: ..it's about the reported transports off Balikpapan, Borneo. Lt. Gen Short: I'm listening. Col. Corleone: It seems they were attacked off Balikpapan by some RAAF Hudsons this morning. They are all tankers not transports..with no escort, sir. Lt. Gen Short: Well I'll be damned. They mean to bring oil back to the main islands via...oh Hell...what do you call that body of water North of the Celebes? Col. Corleone: The Celebes Sea, sir. Lt. Gen Short: Yeah, that's it. We should stop them. Col. Corleone: Staff is working on it, sir. We are augmenting our anti-naval assets at Menado and Cagayan. Lt. Gen Short: Aug..what? Col. Corleone: Oh, augmenting sir, to increase. Lt. Gen Short: Then just say "increase", God Damnit! Quit using that damn Dago crap. Col. Corleone: <A thickly necked sargeant in the corner of the stateroom moves imperceptibly forward...he is waved off by an equally imperceptible shake of the head by the Colonel. This conveys the message, "well deserved, yes, but later perhaps, I'll let you know then you can turn his face into pulp."> Yes, sir. There is also the question of a surface force. Lt. Gen Short: Surface force? Col. Corleone: Ships, sir. we have a capable force at Jolo. Lt. Gen Short: Then just say ships, Goddamnit. Yes, yes, send them in. That is why we have so many Goddmaned ships. Col. Corleone: But there is the question of Jap bombers at Macasar. Lt. Gen Short: Pretend I don't have a map tattoed to my arm, Colonel. Where is that? Col. Corleone: The Celebes, sir. Lt. Gen Short: Which one? Col. Corleone: There is only one, sir. Lt. Gen Short: Then why did you say "THE" Celebes? Doesn't that mean more than one? Col. Corleone: Yes sir, normally that is true, sir. It is just the way everyone says it. Lt. Gen Short: That is STUPID! Col. Corleone: Yes sir. <the guard again moves forward very slightly and is again waved off> Lt. Gen Short: I don't want anyone in my command saying "The Celebes", is that clear? Col. Corleone: Yes sir. Lt. Gen Short: Good! And let's find some top cover for our ships. Col. Corleone: Too far from opeational airfields, sir, even for the P-38's. we will need to establish a small airfiled at Tomini. Lt. Gen Short: Is that in The Cele...err..I mean Celebses too? Col. Corleone: Yes sir! Lt. Gen Short:** Then do it. Now...how goes the planning for my welcoming ceremony at Jolo?

BrucePowers -> RE: Coastwatcher (1/1/2010 11:33:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake quote: ORIGINAL: BrucePowers Sounds like a line from the Best Little WhoreHouse in Texas[:D] You mean Number 2, in Dunedin, isn't getting "relief" (in the Biblical sense I mean)? You are wrong. He has Jean. As this is a family forum, that was a very discrete statement.[:D] He could be getting relief.[:)]

BrucePowers -> RE: Coastwatcher (1/1/2010 11:35:18 PM)
With these generals how are you winning the war?[:D]

Cap Mandrake -> Desperation (1/2/2010 2:14:16 AM)
****Officer's Mess, USAAF 90th BS(M) Batan, Is., August 14, 1943 Major Major: <enters excitedly into tent> Hey fellows. Did you hear, we may be redeploying to Menado again. The Japs are apparently going to try to run some tankers through the Celebes Sea. It will be a milk run! Tall, hirsute USAAF Captain: Goddamnit! Don't say that! Major Major: Captain, Yossarian, you can't speak to me like that, I am a Major. Tall, hirsute USAAF Captain: <stands and looks closely at the Major's pasty face> I'm not so sure about that. Major Major: Captain, you are undermining squadron morale. Tall, hirsute USAAF Captain: Oh, yeah? Well, you are undermining MY morale, Major. Major Major: Wait, don't you see what this means, Yossarian? If the Japs are trying to run fuel tankers past our air bases they must be completely desperate! Tall, hirsute USAAF Captain: Desperate AND crazy! Fantastic! Now I have millions of desperate AND crazy SOB's trying to kill me. Young man in fine silk shirt: <stands abruptly> HOLY CRAP! The Major is right! It IS desperate. They MUST be losing faster than I hoped. Tall, hirsute USAAF Captain: You mean this is going to end? Don't mess with me Milo, you crazy SOB. Young man in fine silk shirt: No, no Yosarian you slow on the uptake SOB. I am serious. We are less than 500 miles from Okinawa here. Why do you think the Japs hardly contested the landing here? They sent only a few coastal minesweepers on a suicide mission. Tall, hirsute USAAF Captain: You mean...fuel? Young man in fine silk shirt: Yes, yes, YES. They are being starved of fuel, Yossarian. Can you imagine what they would pay at this point? I could see it on Ito's face last time I saw him. And I thought he was just lovesick. Tall, hirsute USAAF Captain: That is fantastic! I can go back to Gilroy? Young man in fine silk shirt: No, no, it's bad Yossarian. It's bad for M&M Enterprises and you are a stockholder. Scarcity will become scarce. Do you realize how many winterized Quonset huts I have to move? We are going to need a new enemy. Oh dear God, I just remembered, we have a big position in 3 month Bermudan call options on December oil delivery. Can you imagine what will happen when the Dutch East Indies fields come back online? Oy! Think of something, Yossarian. I need to get on the air to D,C & H. <calls as he runs from the mess tent> MAJOR, YOU ARE A MILITARY GENIUS! Major Major: Who was that excitable fellow? He shouldn't be in the officer's mess. Tall, hirsute USAAF Captain:** Never saw him before. Some crazy SOB I expect.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: Coastwatcher (1/2/2010 2:14:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrucePowers With these generals how are you winning the war?[:D] Beats me...good die rolls I guess.

BrucePowers -> RE: Coastwatcher (1/2/2010 3:21:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake quote: ORIGINAL: BrucePowers With these generals how are you winning the war?[:D] Beats me...good die rolls I guess. That explains it[:D]

BrucePowers -> RE: Coastwatcher (1/9/2010 8:50:34 PM)
So how goes the war, sothern California, the family, the Viking Longboat ceremony etc?[:D]

Moondawggie -> RE: Coastwatcher (1/10/2010 6:08:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BrucePowers So how goes the war, sothern California, the family, the Viking Longboat ceremony etc?[:D] I agree: Happy Nueva Ano, Mandrake!

khyberbill -> RE: The Black Pearl (1/17/2010 10:58:57 PM)
quote: I am going for a bed and breakfast gift. I own a B&B in CT. If she brings someone else I will put her in a tent. If you come too we can play AE and drink singapore slings all night and she can go to the movies with my better half!!

Moondawggie -> RE: The Black Pearl (2/2/2010 4:03:40 AM)
"Gettin' awfully quiet around here, Milo. Too quiet, if you ask me..." ...Tall Hirsute USAAC Officer Wearing Bombadier Insignia and Carrying A Well-Worn Copy of "B-25 Crewman's Guide to the Challenge of Global Cooling," Officers Club, Batan Island, August 1943

Cap Mandrake -> Connections (5/20/2010 1:29:50 AM)
****Oval Office, 09:15, August 15, 1943 I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: <walks briskly into the office to shake the hand of a patrician-looking fellow. Gen. Marshall and Adm. King are also in the room> Mr. President, thank you for meeting me on the matter of great importance for the nation. Number 2: Yes, of course. I love to show new people the magic bottle. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Magic bottle, sir? <looks quizzically toward the patrician-lookin guy at and then toward the two officers> Number 2: Yes, this brandy bottle here. Just drink what you will and when you leave the room it will be full again. Just like that song...<starts to sing..sort of>... In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too You can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe In the Big Rock Candy Mountains God, I love the depression songs. This whole place is like Big Rock Candy Mountain. Gen. Marshall: Mr. President, I wonder if we might get to the reason Mr. Cheatham is here? Number 2: Sure, George. Gen. Marshall: It's General Marshall, Mr. President. Number 2: Sure, whatever. Hey watch this <presses intercom lever> Julio, can you bring us some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches..and some stew too? God I love this place. You should see the secretary. Hootchie mama! I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Yes, very nice, sir, now about the reason for the meeting. You see, sir, my client believes he can negotiate an end to the war in the Pacific. Number 2: War in the Pacific? when did that happen? Gen. Marshall: With Japan, sir. Number 2: Oh, them. I hate the little yellow bastards. Gen. Marshall: Yes sir. We all do, sir. Number 2: Besides, I thought you told me we were winning. Why do we have to negotiate with them? Gen. Marshall: Well sir, it's AE sir. It's coming out soon. Number 2: AE? Gen. Marshall: Admiral's Edition, sir. Perhaps Admiral King could explain. Adm. King: Yes, sir. It's much better, sir. The hexes are only 25 miles. You should see Australia. It's HUGE! Number 2: I always find maps confusing. How 'bout I leave it up to you guys? Number 2: Yes sir. It is our strong recommendation to negotiate. I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: Sir, if I may, my client has superb connections to the highest levels of the Japanese war machine. His requests, in acting as interlocutor, are quite limited. If I may? <opens document> 1) The US Army will accept the delivery of 212,513 winterized Quonset huts at the previosuly agreed contract price. Gen. Marshall: DONE! I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.: 2) The Truman Commission will be disbanded. Gen. Marshall: DONE! I. Dunn Cheatham, Esq.:** 3) A certain Captain Ito of the Imperial Japanese Navy will be granted a full pardon from any prosecution and will be granted citzenship in the United States AND will be given title to a minimum 800 sq foot beachside bungalo on Oahu.....

Cap Mandrake -> RE: Connections (5/20/2010 1:36:52 AM)
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind There's a lake of stew and AE too You can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe In the Big Rock Candy Mountains [image]local://upfiles/7983/3C73F964157346148E31556DAFD52997.jpg[/image]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: Connections (5/20/2010 1:54:24 AM)
****Officer's "Club", USAAF 90th BS(M) Batan, Is., August 15, 1943 Young Dutch Lt.: <Approaches a hiruste USAAF Captain> Sir, I understand you are the author of "How To Not Get Killed In The Mitchell B-25". I am a great fan of your work. I am Lt. De Groot, Netherlands East Indies Air Force. <salutes briskly> Hiruste USAAF Captain: Cut out the saluting, son. You trying to get me killed? The Japs are trying to kill me and if you make me seem important I am pretty sure it will just make them more enthusiastic. The war is almost over and I don't want to do it all over again. Young Dutch Lt.: Sorry, Captain. May I sit? <an accepting motion is made..though he makes a mental note of his new friend's oddness, he says nothing> Hiruste USAAF Captain: Chief, give this man a brain freeze! .........................<20 minutes pass> Hiruste USAAF Captain:** ....wait, did you just say she covers her mouth when she laughs? <He sits upright>......

Cap Mandrake -> RE: Connections (5/20/2010 2:11:16 AM)
********Beach, Northeast tip Batan Is., 01:50, Aug. 16, 1943******* Japanases naval officer: Ito want Ranai in bungaro. Man in fine silk slacks: A what? Japanases naval officer: Ranai! Man in fine silk slacks: What the Hell is that? Japanases naval officer: You know, rike....ummm...rike patio. Man in fine silk slacks: OHHHHH! You want a Lanai. Why didn't you say so? Japanases naval officer: Ito say Ranai. Miro no listen. Man in fine silk slacks: OK Ito-san. I'll get you a Ranai, but tell the Emperor he has to tell all of you crazy SOB's to stop fighting. And tell that crazy SOB he is not divine either and he has to follow orders from us. Japanases naval officer: Ito not crazy. Ito not tell Emperor he not divine. Man in fine silk slacks: Damn it, Ito-san! I like you, but you crazy SOB's are getting the kicked out of you. You couldn't get back to base without the fuel I gave you and I don't think you guys even have kamikazes yet. You got nothin', Ito-san. Tell that crazy SOB Emperor of yours he needs to change his tune or there is no Ranai for you and there is a blinding white light for him. Understood? Japanases naval officer:** Ito understand. Brinding white right.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: Connections (5/20/2010 2:38:38 AM)
****New Zealand Command HQ, Auckland, New Zealand, August 16, 1943** Lt. Gen Puttick: <a band is playing in the background. It might be a Sousa tune but one cant be sure. The CIC waits for a US Army officer in a dishevled General's uniform>.. General, welcome to New Zealand Command HQ! Number 2 (the MacArthur one): Thank you General...oh....oh...wait <he begins to pass gas noisily in rhythm with the band> HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAA! Get it? HAHAHHAHAAHA! <He walks toward the band making hand motions that look more epileptiform than intentional> Lt. Gen Puttick: <turns to aide> Who is this ignoramus? Aide: General MacArthur, sir. He's evidently been missing. Lt. Gen Puttick:** More like lost on purpose. Get him promoted or something. I dont care what you do, just get him out of here. Madre de Dios! And no more cabbage either!

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