RE: Naval treaty of 1925 (Full Version)

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rtrapasso -> RE: Naval treaty of 1925 (6/2/2007 10:28:19 PM)

[:D] [:D] [:D]



AmiralLaurent -> RE: Naval treaty of 1925 (6/2/2007 10:59:25 PM)

Cap, you are always so good to turn WITP bugs and simulation choices into funny and ironic stories. [&o]

But this time you're wrong. A sub may attack several times in the same phase. In fact each sub will test during the naval movement phase, during the CV reaction phase (if a CV reacts in her hex), during the surface combat phase and ruing each of the "damage adjustement" phases.

My personnal record had been 3 attacks on the same convoy by the same submarine in the PM phase. But maybe it was just a war crime...



Helpless -> RE: Naval treaty of 1925 (6/2/2007 11:07:03 PM)

quote:

Lt. Commander Besancon: To a large extent, you are right son, but there is section XI A, paragraph 1....<looks up and to his left to search his memory>..."no submersible craft may fire its torpedoes more than once per AM and PM phase...yada yada yada". I realize the enemy have behaved in a bestial fashion, at times, but that does not mean we shall wallow in the mire with them.

XO: Ah, yes sir. Sorry. Does the "PM phase" begin at noon, sir?

Lt. Commander Besancon: Hmmm...good question. SEAMAN DE BAUN! Go to my cabin and fetch the Naval Treaty of 1925...........


Can't resist... [sm=00000280.gif][sm=00000289.gif]



Cap Mandrake -> von Draemel...err... I mean Admiral Draemel (6/2/2007 11:20:11 PM)

***********The Bridge of the Dutch Merchantman, Tjikarang, at anchor, Port Moresby harbor, 13:20, July 8, 1942*************

Admiral Draemel picks up a fresh baked raisin roll with the undamaged fingers of his left land. He is beginning to like the ship and crew, and well he should for the crew of the Tjikarangare treating him like a king, especially since he has apparently broken his jinx, it now having been two days since a ship has been shot out from under him. The real reason is Port Morseby has fallen to the Australian 1st Corps after a sharp attack. The enemy are now concentrating on the airfields, which, in a major departure from plans, are too damaged to permit RAAF Kittyhawks to operate. Some Kittyhawks came in yesterday, but were chewed up on the ground and have now been evacuated. The harbor is completely wrecked so the crew are laboriously off-loading supplies to longboats for transfer to shore. Still, things are looking up. The ships tailor has let out the Admirals cuffs and repaired his seam so that neither his hairless shins nor the knee length underware his sister knitted for him are showing. He has even learned a few Dutch words. He savors a sip of fresh coffee until the calm is shattered by a report, "many bombers, North northeast!" They are the familiar Bettys, at least a dozen. He well knows what comes next. The Captain yells, "torpedoes in the water! All boats stand clear. Prepare to make steam."

They are doomed, of course. The Admiral can see the bubble trails in the water now, even with his imperfect 65 year old eyes. One seems headed at him personally. As if an epiphany, it dawns on him, "The japs are trying to kill me! They are trying to kill ME!" He begins to sing with vigor:

Ob's stürmt oder schneit,
Ob die Sonne uns lacht,
Der Tag glühend heiß
Oder eiskalt die Nacht.
Bestaubt sind die Gesichter..........



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Naval treaty of 1925 (6/3/2007 12:11:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AmiralLaurent

But this time you're wrong. A sub may attack several times in the same phase. In fact each sub will test during the naval movement phase, during the CV reaction phase (if a CV reacts in her hex), during the surface combat phase and ruing each of the "damage adjustement" phases.

My personnal record had been 3 attacks on the same convoy by the same submarine in the PM phase. But maybe it was just a war crime...
"war crime" [:D]

***********Conning Room, RNN submarine KXVII, off Geraldton, Western Australia, 08:28, July 13, 1942********************


<the tension is palpable as enemy destroyers bear down on the suspected position of KXVII. The Captain and his exec pour over the worn copy of the 1925 Naval Treaty>

Sailor with headphones:Sonar reports contact bearing 40 degrees, closing fast!

Lt. Commander Besancon: Come left to course 220! Bring us to periscope depth! Have after torpedo room stand by.

Sailor with headphones: Aye sir! Course 220! Depth 20 meters.

Exec: Sir! I think I have it! Appendix to section XII A, page 338. <begins reading> "...this proscription shall not apply during the CV reaction phase.."

Lt. Commander Besancon: Skip on down! No carriers here. We don't have time!

Exec: "...or during the Surface Combat Phase..." <they look at each other and simultaneously shake their heads in the negative> "....or in the damage adjustment phase, or in the.."

Lt. Commander Besancon: WAIT! Read that again!

Exec: "..or in the damage adjustment phase.."

Lt. Commander Besancon: THAT'S IT! Would you say that enemy destroyer has been damaged?

Exec: Yes sir!

Lt. Commander Besancon: And would you say they are making an adjustment to that damage?

Exec: Yes sir. It would only be prudent.

Lt. Commander Besancon: I concur! This will be a bow-on shot. We've no time for a solution. Make the target course 220 and speed 30 kts. I will give you a range. Periscope up!





timtom -> RE: Naval treaty of 1925 (6/3/2007 12:30:08 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AmiralLaurent
Cap, you are always so good to turn WITP bugs and simulation choices into funny and ironic stories. [&o]


Matrix should hire on Cap as their PR man and have him teach the multitudes to love bugs!




Cap Mandrake -> RE: Naval treaty of 1925 (6/3/2007 10:55:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: timtom

Matrix should hire on Cap as their PR man and have him teach the multitudes to love bugs!




Hey cool idea. My daughter wants to stay in LA during the summer to try to get a part in a play or an unpayed internship. [X(] I will need the money.

General Saviges' plan for the defense of Perth. Fortunately, the old bastard never did believe in the Naval Treaty of 1925 so he built some fortifications along the Moore River guarding the Northerly approaches to Perth lest the Japs decide to comit a war crime by landing over a non green-dot beach [;)]

[image]local://upfiles/7983/3D43C91053404F45B8010634FE314EFF.jpg[/image]



tabpub -> Mandrake's personal photos and stuff (6/4/2007 8:57:13 AM)

Here's some personal snaps of Mandrake and his cronies at work, with attached memorandums.
I think that we could subtitle the AAR to "How I learned to quit worrying and love the War(in the Pacific)"



[image]local://upfiles/9730/D6F81D30D86F41F6B874B75C92A10004.jpg[/image]



Moondawggie -> RE: von Draemel...err... I mean Admiral Draemel (6/4/2007 8:21:41 PM)

So there I was:  daydreaming that I was looking at the "Leadership" and "Inspiration" scores in WITP's updated version 5.0, searching for a commander to replace Bull Halsey who managed to get himself and the Lex killed early on in another universe, and for the first time I notice that there's this "TM" value assigned each leader, too. 

And who should score a perfect 100 in "TM," more than any other officer?    Our beloved Admiral Milo Draemel, WITP's own premier Torpedo Magnet...




Cap Mandrake -> The Leper Colony (6/5/2007 7:34:11 PM)

********Aboard Leper Colony, lead plane in a box formation of B-17E's of 19th BG(H), 110 mi North of Perth**************



Major Kong: <keys his mike> Now look, boys. I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches. But I got a pretty fair idea that somethin' doggoned important's going on up there. And I got a fair idea of the kind of personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human beins if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelings about nookular...check that, convential high explosives. But I want you to remember one thing - the folks back in Perth is a countin' on ya, and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. Tell ya somethin' else - this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions an' personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for every last one of ya, regardless of your race, color, or your creed. Now, let's get this thing on the hump. We got some flyin' to do.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: von Draemel...err... I mean Admiral Draemel (6/5/2007 7:39:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

So there I was: daydreaming that I was looking at the "Leadership" and "Inspiration" scores in WITP's updated version 5.0, searching for a commander to replace Bull Halsey who managed to get himself and the Lex killed early on in another universe, and for the first time I notice that there's this "TM" value assigned each leader, too.

And who should score a perfect 100 in "TM," more than any other officer? Our beloved Admiral Milo Draemel, WITP's own premier Torpedo Magnet...




Wow..he has a 100 rating? I would have thought that the two days he spent aboard Tjikarang without an attack would have hurt him. Perhaps this was offset by the fact that Honolulu and Adelaide were torpedoed within one 24 hr period while he was aboard.



Cap Mandrake -> Emergency Kit (6/5/2007 7:52:15 PM)

********Aboard Leper Colony, 150 mi North of Perth**************

<sobered by an anticipated rough reception over their target, Major Kong examines the USAAF Emergency Survial Kit, 237X(S)/42>

Major Kong: - one .45 caliber sidearm
- two boxes of ammunition
- four days' concentrated emergency rations
- one drug issue containing sulfa powder, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- one miniature combination Japanese phrase book and Bible
- one hundred dollars in yen
- one hundred dollars in lost Philippino gold
- nine packs of chewing gum, latex free
- one issue of prophylactics
- three lipsticks
- three pair of silk stockings

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Manila with all that stuff.



rtrapasso -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/5/2007 9:12:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

********Aboard Leper Colony, 150 mi North of Perth**************

<sobered by an anticipated rough reception over their target, Major Kong examines the USAAF Emergency Survial Kit, 237X(S)/42>

Major Kong: - one .45 caliber sidearm
- two boxes of ammunition
- four days' concentrated emergency rations
- one drug issue containing sulfa powder, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- one miniature combination Japanese phrase book and Bible
- one hundred dollars in yen
- one hundred dollars in lost Philippino gold
- nine packs of chewing gum, latex free
- one issue of prophylactics
- three lipsticks
- three pair of silk stockings

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Manila with all that stuff.


Since he is flying out of Perth, shouldn't he have a combination Australian phrase book and Bible?? [&:] [:'(]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/6/2007 4:59:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

********Aboard Leper Colony, 150 mi North of Perth**************

<sobered by an anticipated rough reception over their target, Major Kong examines the USAAF Emergency Survial Kit, 237X(S)/42>

Major Kong: - one .45 caliber sidearm
- two boxes of ammunition
- four days' concentrated emergency rations
- one drug issue containing sulfa powder, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- one miniature combination Japanese phrase book and Bible
- one hundred dollars in yen
- one hundred dollars in lost Philippino gold
- nine packs of chewing gum, latex free
- one issue of prophylactics
- three lipsticks
- three pair of silk stockings

Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Manila with all that stuff.


Since he is flying out of Perth, shouldn't he have a combination Australian phrase book and Bible?? [&:] [:'(]



No, that's why he needs the prophylactics.



bbbf -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/6/2007 5:16:13 AM)

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!



rtrapasso -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/6/2007 5:18:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bbbf

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!


Aiiee!! [:D] [:D]



Cuttlefish -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/6/2007 6:05:12 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: bbbf

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!


The pain...oh, the pain...



timtom -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/6/2007 1:33:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bbbf

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!


Well WAC's do love flyboys - got something to do with them spiffy sunglasses and that short life expectancy.



USSAmerica -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/6/2007 2:10:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: bbbf

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!


That's punny! [:D]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/6/2007 5:37:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bbbf

So what you are saying is that Perth Girls are Easy!


Wow..that is a truly historic pun. Sadly, I didn't get it. [:)] For those who are embarrassed to admit it, do this: Type in "Perth Girls are Easy!" in the Google window. [:D]



rtrapasso -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/6/2007 6:09:47 PM)

Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, Jim Carrey and Damon Williams in "an A movie disguised as a B movie..." - shown on Comedy Channel fairly frequently...

MEMORABLE QUOTE:
from the song "'Cause I'm A Blonde"]
Candy(played by Julie Brown): I just want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is like a compliment I'll remember for as long as I can. Right now I'm a freshman in my fourth year at UCLA, but my goal is to become a veterinarian, 'cause I love children.


[image]local://upfiles/7543/5D1C6009225642C695896CF7FD5663CB.jpg[/image]



bbbf -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/7/2007 4:11:59 AM)

I did wonder if the pun might be a little obscure, but it was just too good to pass up.[:D]



USSAmerica -> RE: Emergency Kit (6/7/2007 5:10:02 AM)

Geena Davis!  [sm=00000947.gif]



Cap Mandrake -> Holy ****! (6/10/2007 12:05:29 AM)

I go on one lousy bar crawl and the AAR is on the second page. What a price we pay for yeast excrement, eh?

Editors note: "sidewase" is apparently an obscure spelling of "sideways" in wide use among residents of Pitcarin Is.

[image]local://upfiles/7983/80033209326F46D59024A1F7D387FF95.jpg[/image]



bradfordkay -> RE: Holy ****! (6/10/2007 5:07:37 AM)

Hmmm.... Yossarian apparently spent too much time in church camp and not enough in geography class...



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Holy ****! (6/10/2007 8:11:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

Hmmm.... Yossarian apparently spent too much time in church camp and not enough in geography class...
[:)] When I first saw the Blizzard off Christchurch in July, I chuckled to myself, and was all ready to post a screenshot on the forum....then it occured to me.....duh (slaps head>

[image]local://upfiles/7983/3C9DCACD988445E8A8ADA1A510F9D8F6.jpg[/image]



Cap Mandrake -> Venial (6/11/2007 10:15:38 PM)

..

[image]local://upfiles/7983/0DD2836A272847DFB6D2DFE36CEFDC14.jpg[/image]



AmiralLaurent -> RE: Venial (6/11/2007 10:40:30 PM)

Now I wonder which WITP bug has inspired this 5000 ft tall priest.... I have not seen this one...



Cap Mandrake -> Dogtags (6/11/2007 10:41:19 PM)

..poor Father Emmanoulides

[image]local://upfiles/7983/44EADC192B95409D8115BE25FA4DFA2C.jpg[/image]



Cap Mandrake -> 50 Hail Mary's (6/11/2007 11:43:29 PM)

..

[image]local://upfiles/7983/5659DACD6516478C95DAE184B92A40F1.jpg[/image]



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