Next stop, Timor (Full Version)

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Cap Mandrake -> Next stop, Timor (6/13/2008 1:03:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

Uhhh... did you send them to a point in the ocean to wait for the air raid to take out the airbase but forgot to set them to "Patrol, Do not retire"? [;)]



Why sir! Surely you do not mean to imply a failure of higher command authority? <Nixonian beads of sweat breaks out on upper lip and several milimeters of carefully applied Aluminum Chloride are nearly overwhelmed by a sudden rush of eccrine activity>

I believe the good Admiral had explicit orders to bombard Akyab. Upon his return to Chandpur, his TF was a "surface combat" TF. TF's that complete bombardment change to a surface combat mission, is this true for TF's whose Admiral loses his nerve after opening a particularly worrisome fortune cookie?

BTW, given the neutralization of the Jap air threat from Andaman and Rangoon, what is the best way to achieve a daytime bombardment of Akyab without wasting ammo at night and without remaining on station at Akyab. Could I sortie from Chandpur at cuise speed and set for bombardment of Akyab?

BTW...I have to admit I may have done exactly what you described, but I am still going to try another Admiral..lr even a Captain with some brass ones. Fortunately, no animals were harmed during the bombardment of Akyab. [:D] Parenthetically, the RAF bombers tasked with bombing the ground troops at Akyab stayed home at Chandpur as well. [:@]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Next stop, Timor (6/13/2008 1:32:25 AM)

The movement of sealift capacity to Darwin required the neutralization of the big Jap air bases at Lautem and Koepang. This has been a slow process over a month after the arrival of the P-38. Quite a number of P-38 have been lost but an even larger number of Jacks and Tonys have been destroyed. The Japs are no longer contending the airspace over Lautem and Koepang on a daily basis but instead have based at least 50 Tonys at Dili, out of P-38 range. Aru airfield has only a few recon aircraft. Babo is also a level 4 field and is currently out of P-38 range. Rather than send the heavies up to Babo without escorts to protect them from the Tonys, a combined RN, USN CA, CL force was sent in to bombard. They had so much fun they stayed to long and were pummeled by Sallys from Amboina the next day. No ships were lost, but 1 CA and 3 CL's will have to visit the body shop. Fortunately, this seemed to turn the tide (along with raids by the B-24's at Darwin on unportected airfields--forcing the Japs to disperse their Tonys). He is not contending the skies over babo at this time though he might surge in aircraft if the field is repaired.

HMS Prince of Wales has been found and she (along with soem USN DM's are on their way to Darwin (the long way). When Perth finally falls, there will be 4 veteran divisions, 2 Armoured Brigades and 4 Infantry Brigades freed up for fun and games.

Main striking power in Northern Oz consists of ca. 150 USAAF Heavies (17's and 24's), 100 P-38's, 60 x USAAF and RAAF and NEIAF B-25's

[image]local://upfiles/7983/474D0B8683E341A39A671D3B2EABF376.jpg[/image]



witpqs -> RE: F-5A (not the one you are thinking of) (6/13/2008 7:33:14 AM)

quote:

The F-5A had been rushed into production to accomodate the court-mandated SPCA ride-alongs.


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Cap Mandrake -> Eastern Fleet HQ (6/15/2008 6:18:47 PM)

**********Eastern Fleet HQ, Office of Planning and Logistics and Matters of That Sort, Colombo, Ceylon, January 21, 1943*******


Admiral Phillips: So help to understand Sargeant. General Pownall sent you two as a planning liason group because his staff were busy?

Sentry #1: Yes sir. They are still waiting on the latest edition of Robert's Rules of Order to be flown in from Alexandria.

Admiral Phillips: Alexandria? The one in Egypt you mean?

Sentry #2: Yes sir. 'at's the one sir. Apparently 8th Army 'as a spare.

Admiral Phillips: Do you mean there isn't a proper copy in all of India?

Sentry #1: Yes sir. It seems the Colonial Governor's copy is outdated.

Admiral Phillips: What about our cousins?

Sentry #1: Cousins sir?

Admiral Phillips: Yes, the Americans. What about 10th Air Force?

Sentry #1: 'ave you met General Chennault, sir?

Admiral Phillips: Ah, yes, I see your point. Honestly, some times I don't know how they expect us to win a war. Biplanes flying from our carriers. Fighters with canvas skins. Every month they want us to send destroyers to Gibraltar and we haven't the proper number here.

Sentry #2: Yes, sir, 'aven't the proper number sir.

Admiral Phillips: Well, there is no point in grousing, is there, musn't grouse, bad for morale. Don't you agree Sargeant?

Sentry #1: Yes sir, bad for morale sir.

Admiral Phillips: Right, so please, have a seat you two and let's talk shop. <the Liason Group form SEAC sit down> Let me recapitualte. The General wants to move 3 infantry divisions, an armoured brigade, most of the old Malaya Command HQ, a regiment of combat engineers and an entire aviation regiment and he wants them to embark from four different ports, assemble and approach the landing zone undetected, then disembark in a sand-bar plagued estuary with silt-laden beaches under the threat of enemy air activity? Do I have that right?

Sentry #1: Almost sir. There are to be FOUR infantry divisions, 3 Indian and one British.

Admiral Phillips: OH DEAR GOD! Can you imagine the amount of curry we shall have to bring along? <keys intercom to his aide> Commander, please get in touch with Mr. Subramanian regarding the Sandwich Surprise franchise in Delhi. Tell him I will have to push back our meeting till February. I am going to be busy. Thank you. <rekeys the intercom> And, Commander, please get in touch with that wholesale spice merchant from Bombay, the Sikh chap, you know the one.............

Sentry #1:




Cap Mandrake -> Duh, duh, duh-DUh-duh, duh-duh-duh...... (6/16/2008 8:37:16 PM)

**********Main wharf, Dunedin Harbour, Dunedin, South Island, New Zealand, January 21, 1943***********


It has been months now since the apparent threat to New Zealand from a Jap invasion has abated. Dunedin has become a backwater. Aukland is busy in support of the American invasion of Fiji, but Dunedin is a forgotten outpost now. There are no search planes, no ships, no subs, not even a derelict minesweeper left over from WWI..nothing. In fact, the ANZAC band company that was shipped down here as an emergency infantry force has literally been forgotten. It seems someone in Aukland forgot to file a form 324/17A (Emergency Deployment of Musicians or Press Relations Troops out of Command Authority).

Also forgotten (purposely it seems) is the tall American in a General's uniform with a very odd penchant for bolo bats and a birthmark in the shape of Corregidor on one of his butt cheeks (I forget which one).

The tall American in the General's uniform is standing before the assembled band. It seems in their rush to war, they forgot all their sheet music and they really only know about 3 tunes cold, non of which suit the tall American. He is endeavoring to teach them a march by some guy named Suzy, or something like that. He, of course, has not the slightest understanding of music.


Tall American in the General's uniform: No, no, NO! I have told you guys a dozen times, more emphasis on the fifth "duh", then the next one is a little bit lower, not quieter, but not as high, soundwise I mean. And you with the brass plates, can you do your thing on the tenth 'duh"? And you with the little flute, I need you to be a little higher, about 50%.

1st piccolo: Do you mean a fifth sir?


Tall American in the General's uniform: No, I said 50%. Didn't you guys have to take any math in New Zealand? All right then! From the start. Watch my hand! <just then the woman who has been standing behind him gooses his muscular buttock with the little map of Corregidor..apparently, it's on the right. He raises his hand in surpise, then quickly grabs her hand. The band leaps into action then quickly tapers off in a cacophonous fashion, confused by his "instruction">

<He turns to her in a bit of a pique and whispers> Look, damnit, can't this wait?

Aroused woman: Oh, come on Dougey, you promised.


Tall American in the General's uniform: Oh Hell! OK, EVERYONE, TAKE 10......NO, MAKE IT 30...................






Cap Mandrake -> 251 Coy RE (6/18/2008 1:08:46 AM)

********On the trail from Imphal to Mandalay, January 23, 1943*************


Lt. Uppington-Smyth, 251 Coy, Royal Engineers, is reclining on his side, oblivious to the ants crawling over him. He holds a magnifying spectacle and examines a piece of slate which has chipped open.

Sgt. Bonebrake: <calls down fron the command Bren-carrier> Sir, it's Brigade again. It's the Brigadier himself, sir. He is wondering when we are going to catch up with the rest of the column. He says were at least 7 miles behind and we are supposed to be leading the column. He says he is getting pressure from Corps.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Please tell the General I've a specimen with fruiting bodies and if I am right about the age of the strata, it may be as much as 150 million years old.

Sgt. Bonebrake: <relays information..then nods several times> The Brigadier wishes you to know that he is in the middle of a bloody jungle and he doesn't need any more bloody fruit.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Did he really say "bloody", Sargeant?

Sgt. Bonebrake: Oh yes sir, quite clearly.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Oh dear. He must be under a great deal of pressure. Well, please tell the General this specimen has both male and female parts on the same plant. This just might be the oldest flowering plant ever discovered.

Sgt. Bonebrake: Are you sure you want me to tell him that...the part about the parts, I mean? <smiles hopefully>

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Yes, Sargeant. Tell him that exactly.

Sgt. Bonebrake: <gleefully advises the General of the Lt's comments..then relays the message> The Brigadier suggests that if YOU wish to have any male parts at the end of the day then you should bloody well bugger the bloody specimen and get the company moving.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Oh, dear, are you sure he said "bugger"?...........................



Cap Mandrake -> RE: 251 Coy RE (6/18/2008 1:11:49 AM)

I don't know what the problem with 7th Armoured is. This is the second time this has happened. All the other units in the hex are set to follow the 7th Armoured but are about 3 days ahead now. [:@] It looks like 2nd Infantry will have to deal with the several hundred Jap tanks sitting on the rail line without 7th Armoured.


The "to follow" command is well and truly "buggered".



rtrapasso -> RE: 251 Coy RE (6/18/2008 1:45:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I don't know what the problem with 7th Armoured is. This is the second time this has happened. All the other units in the hex are set to follow the 7th Armoured but are about 3 days ahead now. [:@] It looks like 2nd Infantry will have to deal with the several hundred Jap tanks sitting on the rail line without 7th Armoured.


The "to follow" command is well and truly "buggered".


If a unit is really tired, sometimes the "following" units will outstrip the "leader"... often, however, when the "followers" reach 60 miles, they can drag the "leader" into the next hex (presumably kicking and screaming.)



bradfordkay -> RE: 251 Coy RE (6/18/2008 9:26:19 AM)

"often, however, when the "followers" reach 60 miles, they can drag the "leader" into the next hex (presumably kicking and screaming.)"

Thus the Brigadier's apoplectic orders to our studious leftenant?



Cap Mandrake -> Cherry Blossoms (6/19/2008 5:20:46 PM)

*************Positions of Australian 27th Brigade outside of Perth, 07:20, January 24, 1943************


Several thousand Japanese, in a goup several hundred yards wide and half a mile deep approach the brigade's forward positions. Many carry a white flag over their head. The delightful irony of the situation is not lost on the men of 27 Brigade, many of whom are survivors of the evacuation from Singapore only one year earlier.

One of the Japanese in the lead has tears on his face and in his hands, a page from the May 1928 National Geographic. It depicts the cherry blossom festival in Nagoya Prefecture. The remarkable moment is interrupted by machine gun fire from Imperial Guard Division positions 1000 yds down the line. The fire seems to be aimed at the surrendering Japanese.






BrucePowers -> RE: Cherry Blossoms (6/19/2008 6:59:12 PM)

Hmmm, will the 7th Armoured see a change of command?



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Cherry Blossoms (6/19/2008 8:21:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Hmmm, will the 7th Armoured see a change of command?


That is a seriously good idea.


***************Steering Committee Mtg, Operation You Know What, SEAC HQ, Ledo, January 24, 1943***************


Staffer 2: Right, let's resume after that fine lunch. As a first order of business, I would like to entertain a motion to draft a formal letter of acknowledgement for the untouchables that have been providing exemplary janitorial service...<Gen. Pownall enteres the room through now unguarded doors..the staffers begin to rise to attention>

Gen. Pownall: No, no, no. Please sit. How are you chaps doing..making some progress on the more energetic remedy?

Staffer 1: Yes sir, splendid sir!...Oh bloody...

Staffer 2: Will the Secretary please strike that?

Gen. Pownall: Not to worry. I shan't distract you from your important mission, but I do have a quick query. I am considering a replacement of the commander of 7th Armoured, they are making such desultory progress and are severely depleting the plaster of Paris reserves of SEAC. Who have we as options in theatre?

Staffer 3: Well, perhaps Brigadier Stoner, I believe he did some work in the annual farce while at Sandhurst.

Gen. Pownall: <furrows his brow to digest the information then, after a few seconds assumes a patronizing countenance> Ah, yes I see, Colonel, but what I had in mind was someone in the China-Burma theatre.

Staffer 3: Ah, yes, THAT theatre. Well then, I would suggest the 60-60 pool.

Gen. Pownall: 60-60 pool?

Staffer 2: Yes. It's a temp agency, M&M Enterprises, I think.

Gen. Pownall: Temp agency? I'm afraid....

Staffer 3: Sir, it's the pension system sir. There is no COLA.

Gen. Pownall: COLA?

Staffer 3: Oh, sorry sir, Cost of Living Adjustment. Many retired brigadiers have signed up as they were having trouble making ends meet with wartime rationing and the like. It's quite a nice system, sir. M&M guarantees that each birgadier will score EXACTLY a 60 on both leadership and managment skill on the MMPI.

Gen. Pownall: MMPI?

Staffer 3: Ah yes, sorry sir, Manchester Multiphasic Personality Inventory.

Gen. Pownall: Ah, I see, it's a type of qualtiy gurarantee then?

Staffer 3: Yes sir. We get good feedback. It seems they even have the same type of moustache. The surgeons have had a spot of trouble handling attacks of gout, but otherwise quite a clever idea..human resources loves it and it cuts out all the political maneuvering..........


*****************************************************************



Note: You don't believe me..I will show example sof the 60-60 pool when I get home. [:)]






Cap Mandrake -> Call for quote (6/20/2008 12:51:45 AM)

..

[image]local://upfiles/7983/441C35833C31427B984282610F356666.jpg[/image]



gladiatt -> RE: Call for quote (6/20/2008 10:42:05 AM)

[sm=happy0065.gif][sm=happy0065.gif][sm=happy0065.gif]



BrucePowers -> RE: Call for quote (6/20/2008 3:13:58 PM)

Manchester Multiphasic Personality Inventory[X(][:D]



Onime No Kyo -> RE: Call for quote (6/21/2008 3:36:53 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Manchester Multiphasic Personality Inventory[X(][:D]


I think I missed another joke. [:(]



Cap Mandrake -> So you want to visit ...... (6/21/2008 6:14:42 PM)

...exotic places, do you?

[image]local://upfiles/7983/85E697487EF440168BFE0AF12250B559.jpg[/image]



BrucePowers -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 4:32:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Manchester Multiphasic Personality Inventory[X(][:D]


I think I missed another joke. [:(]


It is just an inane name for a made up personality test[:)]



rtrapasso -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 5:12:11 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers


quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Manchester Multiphasic Personality Inventory[X(][:D]


I think I missed another joke. [:(]


It is just an inane name for a made up personality test[:)]



There is an actual test called the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory... evidently the "Manchester MPI" was a precursor invented by the minons at M&M... [;)]



Historiker -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 11:29:59 AM)

The maps and pictures are amazing. Do you google them?



BrucePowers -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 2:17:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers


quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Manchester Multiphasic Personality Inventory[X(][:D]


I think I missed another joke. [:(]


It is just an inane name for a made up personality test[:)]



There is an actual test called the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory... evidently the "Manchester MPI" was a precursor invented by the minons at M&M... [;)]


You learn something new every day around here. I did not know that.



rtrapasso -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 3:11:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Historiker

The maps and pictures are amazing. Do you google them?


i am pretty sure Mandrake has his own spy satellite, courtesy of M&M Enterprises... [8D] [;)]



Onime No Kyo -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 6:55:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers


quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Manchester Multiphasic Personality Inventory[X(][:D]


I think I missed another joke. [:(]


It is just an inane name for a made up personality test[:)]


You mean MMPI isnt an actual test of some sort? I may not be as clueless as I thought. [:D]



Onime No Kyo -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 6:56:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers


quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Manchester Multiphasic Personality Inventory[X(][:D]


I think I missed another joke. [:(]


It is just an inane name for a made up personality test[:)]



There is an actual test called the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory... evidently the "Manchester MPI" was a precursor invented by the minons at M&M... [;)]


Ah, there you go. I am that clueless. [:D]



Cap Mandrake -> Memories (6/22/2008 7:17:10 PM)

Anyone remember the days when there were no house rules and nobody knew what an AAR was? You just took the darn out of the box and just played it! If you got a little peanut butter on the map..ah...Miss Zuniga would fix it. She was hot too. Sometimes I would purposely send a convoy south of New Zealand just to see her bend down in her tight skirt.....ahhh...memories.




[image]local://upfiles/7983/C3EEF7E607784EE3B3FD97D87B8468C9.jpg[/image]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 7:37:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Historiker

The maps and pictures are amazing. Do you google them?


Thank you sir. Mostly Google Earth or NASA World Wind and a smattering of MSN Encarta maps and period maps. When I am sitting around waiting for a damn turn (like now), I will sometimes sepia-tone them or desaturate them. The ones that look like pictures from a recon aircraft are actually overhead satellite pics (as RT indicated, from M&M Enterprises Satellite Division, with express permission from D, C & H of course). They are then mathematically "obliqued" and desaturated..and sometimes I stick some ships in.

Lord Admiral Tabpub sent me the "oblique" shot of Canton Is. I am pretty sure that was a Google Earth shot.



BrucePowers -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 7:53:38 PM)

So, since you are waiting for a turn, how is stalker girl?[:D]



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 8:09:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

So, since you are waiting for a turn, how is stalker girl?[:D]


Her ex-husband is visiting from Idaho and won't leave (staying at his friend's house). I think he realizes he made a mistake.

Bummer.

She is sporting a neo-classical North/South medium width runway design now.



Cap Mandrake -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 8:21:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

You mean MMPI isnt an actual test of some sort? I may not be as clueless as I thought. [:D]


No, you are pretty much clueless. [:D]


The full text was 1024 questions and required at least 3 hrs to complete. This had 2 benefits. Candidates with BADD (Brigadier Attention Deficit Disorder) would fail as they could never sit still that long and those more elderly candidates with prostate problems could not finish without visiting the lavatory, which was a cause for exclusion.

The military questions were challenging in order to identify high-achievers so they could be rejected (they were prone to dissatisfaction). A later version also included questions on gout.

Here is a sample.


[image]local://upfiles/7983/EEFFD7E5144C47BA8A245C4C36FF0F38.jpg[/image]



Onime No Kyo -> RE: Call for quote (6/22/2008 9:19:44 PM)

What is the usual response to question 334?



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