RE: Complimentary Chocolates

RE: Complimentary Chocolates (Full Version)

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Cap Mandrake -> RE: Complimentary Chocolates (12/14/2008 7:04:07 PM)
******South Aru Island, Main Harbor, 07:50, March 30, 1943(b)***** A beautifully painted M&M Aviation Coronado taxis to a stop near a floating dock. Two M&M Aviation employess, local women with medium to smallish sized bosoms, wait on the dock to welcome the guest with fresh cut Italian Cypress sprigs, a local sign of respect. Compared to just 24 hrs earlier, the whole island has become a hive of activity. Two USN seaplane tenders are moored in the bay with half a dozen USN Coronados and NEIAF Mariners lined up for refueling. In pairs of two, P-38's and Kittyhawks and Boomerang II's climb skyward from the new runway. No undercarriages fail as there is no idiotic swale in the runway. Once again, entrepeneurism, the Yankee can-do spirit and bold, aggresive leadership have triumphed over regulation and pusilanimous **footers. As the door is opened to the Coronado, an enfeebled and clearly deydrated man is a silly captain's hat, khaki pants and deck shoes emerges into the sunlight. He begins to take a halting step onto the dock before a strange look comes over him. He greets the employees on the dock with a "OOOOOOOP" and scrambles back inside toward the lavatory.

Cap Mandrake -> Odontalgia (12/14/2008 7:59:21 PM)
*******Bridge, HMAS Australia, flagship of Force Purple, Operation Inchworm landing vessels, 60 m SW of Kai Island, 08:20, March 30, 1943****** Admiral Draemel is newly arrived on the bridge after an emergency dental procedure abaord ship. Half his lower face and his mouth are deadened but, mercifully, the pain is gone. The first P-38's are already overhead from Aru. "Excellent", the Admiral thinks to himself. A rainsquall passes to port. The unmistakable lines of Prince of Wales disappear into the squall. "Excellent", he whispers. He puts a mug of steaming hot coffee to his lips. The bracing brew, which has cooled to a mere 190 degrees F, spills down the side of his pomegranate-colored face.

Onime No Kyo -> RE: Odontalgia (12/14/2008 8:04:10 PM)
You seem to be in a vengeful mood today Mandrake.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: Complimentary Chocolates (12/14/2008 8:23:40 PM)
**SITREP, Burma and Siam, March 30, 1943*** Rahaeng/Krung Thep rail line: The entire Burma Area Army moved SW along the rail line some 60 miles. Apparently, the Royal Thai Rairoad Company carelessly left a dozen locomotives and several hundred rolling stock lying about. Or perhaps the King is in on it. One can never guess what an oppressed people will do when one takes one's eyes off them. Clever little bastards with unpronounceable names, they are. 254th Indian Armoured moved NE to intercept. Almost all the USAAF and RAF heavies at Moulemein and Rangoon are tasked to interdict bu tthe weather is bad. The air transport of the two Chindit brigades to Krung Thep goes slowly. Many Jap transports are spotted at Bangkok, probably bringing in reinforcements, but there are hundreds of Jap front-line fighters there so there will be no attack by air. Bangkok is a key choke point. There will be a big battle to take it. Singapore to Bangkok rail line: No Jap attacks. 26th Indian in the West has been reinforced with the veteran 5th Indian and 45th Indian Brigade. That position is now secure, but to the East, 255th Ind. Armoured is still overmatched by the Jap 55th and 56th Divs. These were hit by air on the 29th. 12th Army should be able to go on the offensive along the coast in 4-5 d. Lashio:** 40,000 Jap troops, including three divisions have emerged from the jungle to refit or rest at Lashio. They are opposed by only two weak Commonwealth brigades but the Japs are likely in no position to attack. Some B-25's resting at Chandput will be ordered to attrit them when the weather clears. Thre is no short term hope of clearing the Burma road from the Lashio side. The 1st Burma Brigade at Myitkyina has been oredered to clear it from that end. Two more fresh brigades from Australia, 27th Aus. and 29th British Inf are being escorted into Tavoy by the RN carriers.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: Odontalgia (12/14/2008 8:40:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo You seem to be in a vengeful mood today Mandrake. You don't realize how long I have been building that stupid air strip on Aru [:D]

Onime No Kyo -> RE: Odontalgia (12/14/2008 8:49:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake quote: ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo You seem to be in a vengeful mood today Mandrake. You don't realize how long I have been building that stupid air strip on Aru [:D] But what of the red-breasted heron, to say nothing of the wild boobie and the blue-eyed shag? [:-]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: Odontalgia (12/14/2008 9:47:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake quote: ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo You seem to be in a vengeful mood today Mandrake. You don't realize how long I have been building that stupid air strip on Aru [:D] But what of the red-breasted heron, to say nothing of the wild boobie and the blue-eyed shag? [:-] It is amazing the number of birds named after female body parts...but no matter...if they choose to build their nests in the middle of a virtual war then they will just have to suffer the consequences. Look, I am a 21st century kind of guy. Animals have rights...sure..but they have responsibilities too...like staying out of the way when a freakin' bulldozer is comimng and, for that matter, they should be careful not to look like a submerged submarine either.

Onime No Kyo -> RE: Odontalgia (12/14/2008 10:03:44 PM)
quote: It is amazing the number of birds named after female body parts... You know those ornithologists...wild and crazy guys. Great at any college party. When they show up, you know s'about to get rowdy up in here.

tabpub -> RE: Odontalgia (12/15/2008 7:56:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo quote: It is amazing the number of birds named after female body parts... You know those ornithologists...wild and crazy guys. Great at any college party. When they show up, you know s'about to get rowdy up in here. No, no....they don't hold a candle to the proctologists..... "Dr! It was such an amazing accident! I don't know HOW it got up there!"

Onime No Kyo -> RE: Odontalgia (12/15/2008 11:55:14 AM)
Well, I dont know how it got up there, but it was probably an ornithologist's idea. [;)]

witpqs -> RE: Odontalgia (12/15/2008 3:38:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo Well, I dont know how it got up there, but it was probably an ornithologist's idea. [;)] Such brilliance requires a bird brain.

Moondawggie -> RE: Odontalgia (12/16/2008 3:04:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tabpub quote: ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo quote: It is amazing the number of birds named after female body parts... You know those ornithologists...wild and crazy guys. Great at any college party. When they show up, you know s'about to get rowdy up in here. No, no....they don't hold a candle to the proctologists..... "Dr! It was such an amazing accident! I don't know HOW it got up there!" Actually, Adm. Tabpub, I can attest that it's the ER doc (not the proctologist) who hears that line first. During my ER doc days in Oakland, I was amazed at how many lightbulbs, flashlights, pears, etc. got spontaneously sucked into the "great beyond." Speaking of sucking, 'How 'bout my Raiders?"

Cap Mandrake -> The blood draining from the face thing. (12/17/2008 6:01:48 AM)
******5th Australian Armoured Regt. HQ, near Darwin, March 31, 1943***** Col. Peek, CO: <enters command tent> Did anyone see my glasses? I just had the damn things two minutes ago. Ah...here they are. Say, isn't that Operation Inchworm thing coming up pretty soon?

Cap Mandrake -> Coordination (12/17/2008 6:14:26 AM)
*******NBC Studios, Burbank, Calif., March 31, 1943***** <The cool and convincing Victory at Sea announcer's voice is heard in the sound booth> The date is March 31, 1943...At Amchitka in the frigid Northen Pacific....at Tonga in the South Pacific....in the Banda Sea North of Australia, coordinated attacks by the armed forces of six Allied nations strike at the octopus that is the Japanese Empire...........OK, OK, THAT'S IT!! I AM NOT DOING THIS CRAP ANYMORE. NOBODY WITH AN OUNCE OF COMMON SENSE IS GOING TO BUY THIS ****! COORDINATION? COORDINATION? I am going to lunch. When I get back, if there is no rewrite I AM OUT OF HERE! DO YOU UNDERSTAND? <slams down mic>

tabpub -> Tonga Tea Party (12/17/2008 10:34:32 AM)
Mar 31 43 Dawn On board DETROIT Flagship of Operation Pawnee. ADM F. Fletcher <muttering under his breath> ....pissant TF....pissant ship...damn thing is almost as old as I am.... Commander R. Blago, special aide to ADM King <combing his perfect hair as he strides up smiling> Yes, you were saying something sir? Fine day, isn't it? ADM - Well, yes, if you like being 2 miles off an enemy held island where a MSW was sunk 2 days ago by Betty type a/c....it's fine...<ducks as a TBF roars off the deck of CVE Chenango to port> Let's watch the strikes go in, shall we.... over the next 10 minutes watch 20 odd Grumman bombers drop GP bombs Comm Blago - looks good from here; now here comes the bombardment.... 3 1918 4 pipers and the Dutch DD Evertsen steam within 1000 yds of the beach, their 4 inch guns popping madly in rapid fire Comm Blago - SPLENDID! Quite stirring....now, let's see how these new landing craft work out. 4 LST and 3 LCI move in to land the 1st and 2nd Marine Raider Battalions; who dash ashore whooping war cries and rebel yells. They cross the crest of the atoll and are lost to sight. A couple hours later, they are seen coming back over the crest; some are limping and or are being assisted by their compatriots...the DD's give some protective fire as they re-embark their craft. Dusk settles in as the TF retires to the west Comm. Blago - all in all a good show here ADM. I will report that to COMINCH. The Raiders are in good shape, though one battalion will be out of it for a while; and they caused more damage than they took and we have seen that the landing type craft are much more effective than the Higgins boats from the assault transports.... <stops as he sees Fletcher rise with a purple visage> ...Sir? Fletcher - )(^&)&^%(7er!! This is a jerkoff operation; I am a senior ADM stuck here with 2nd rate ships and covering an insane operation that was laid down for WHAT!!PRACTICE!! Escorting a bunch of misguided children on a PANTY RAID!!! Where's the real WAR AT!! <storms into stateroom and slams the door>* Blago - <sotto voce>Well!....I never....when this war is over, I am going in to politics for sure. This Navy stuff is for the birds.. yessir, nosir....bah.. There's money in politics; favors to be sold, arms to be stronged....yeah, that's the ticket....ticket....lottery..sell it to a private firm...hmmm..that might work....now that I have some 'combat' experience.... <coiffs hair to perfection, pastes on a charming smile> Now, to spin this up for the correspondents...<opens the hatch to the wardroom to flashing bulbs and the cries of the reporters>

Cap Mandrake -> Penetration (12/17/2008 2:48:14 PM)
*****Press Room, USS Detroit, 19:10: March 31, 1943*** Sailor 1: <watching a press briefing> Get a load a helmet head. Sailor 2: Yes, hard to believe that is regulation. Sailor 1: He looks like a friggin' Cabage Patch Kid. Sailor 2: Haha. I think that thing could stop a 20 mm round at 100 yds. Sailor 1: Front glacis, you mean? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1:** Too vertical. Maybe if his forehead were sloped more. I'd say 200 yds..maybe.....

Cap Mandrake -> Burma/Siam (12/17/2008 3:52:36 PM)
******SITREP: Burma/Siam, March 31, 1943******* Krung Thep/Bangkok: The Burma Area Army, being perhaps better motivated by imminent starvation, got the jump on the Indian armour and moved withing 60 miles of Krung Thep. Almost the entire air effort from Tavoy and Moulmein and Rangoon was directed at the Jap column. Most of the 14th Chindit Brigade and part of the 16th have been airlifted to Krung Thep to stiffen defences there. If the Burma Area Army is able to brush aside the Indian armour brigade then they will close on Krung Thep and will eventually escape after there 1000+ mile retreat. This would be bad for the Allies. The 12th Army should be ready to push East toward Bangkok from the coast in 3-4 days, but I doubt they can take Bangkok quickly. Lashio: There are still 4 or 5 Jap divisions trapped at Lashio or on the Burma Road. They will have to be harrased by air for now as there are not sufficient forces to evict them yet. Tavoy:** Two more fresh brigades from Australia landing at Tavoy today.

Cap Mandrake -> The Mummy (12/17/2008 9:28:03 PM)
******HMAS Australia, flagship of Adm. Draemel, CIC, Force Purple, Operation Inchworm, off the Kai Island landing beaches 9:20, March 31, 1943********** Admiral Draemel walks stiffly across the bridge. The ship's surgeon has cut off a portion of the life preserver which the Admiral is now required to wear when in contact with the enemy. From above his waist to his boots he is wrapped in gauze to cover his hot coffee burns. Amazingly, Australia, has not suffered any damage since the landings begun even though virtually every soul on board had written a "last letter" to their loved ones once they discovered who was to lead the landings. It is widely believed the Admiral's time in sick bay has saved the ship. Now that he is up and around, the mood is more somber. Adm. Draemel: Naval losses? Deputy CO: Among the landing forces, two AK's mined, but will survive, 3 landing craft with crews lost to mines, HMNZS Leander and one DD damaged by mines and retiring to Darwin. Ineffectual enemy shore fire. No enemy air. Adm. Draemel: We expected the mines. How about opposition to the landing? Deputy CO: Chiefly, one enemy SNLF and sporadic shore battery fire. Adm. Draemel: An SNLF? They were not identified by recon. Deputy CO: No sir. Adm. Draemel: I shouldn't worry. A couple of dozen tanks from 5th Armoured should put them to rout. Deputy CO: I'm afraid not sir. Adm. Draemel: Why is that? Deputy CO: Because we forgot them...in Darwin, I mean.........

Moondawggie -> RE: The Mummy (12/18/2008 2:31:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake Adm. Draemel: I shouldn't worry. A couple of dozen tanks from 5th Armoured should put them to rout. Deputy CO: I'm afraid not sir. Adm. Draemel: Why is that? Deputy CO: Because we forgot them...in Darwin, I mean......... Oops! Perhaps Commander R. Blago "loaned" those tanks to M&M Armored Enterprises in exchange for a small "campaign contribution?"

Cap Mandrake -> RE: The Mummy (12/18/2008 7:15:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Moondawggie Oops! Perhaps Commander R. Blago "loaned" those tanks to M&M Armored Enterprises in exchange for a small "campaign contribution?" Blago is on his way back from Tongatapu. Lord Admiral Tabpub wasn't joking when he said Operation Pawnee was "practice". He picked up all his marbles (including the two Marine Raider Bn's) and headed home to Fiji. [:D][:D] (minus MSW Turkey) [;)] Quite likley the Japs have deduced that the Tonga operation is not the main show. As for Mr. Minderbinder having some role in the missing tanks for Operation Inchworm, one never knows. He seems to need only the "proper motivation".

Cap Mandrake -> How do you say "WTF" in Japanese? (12/18/2008 7:34:14 PM)
******08:20, April 1, 1943, 240 nm East of Efate****** Taking his first break on a a long patrol from Noumea, Lt. Suzuki passes the controls of the Mavis to his copilot and opens a can of sea urchin roe. It smells just about like what you would expect but it apparently tastes really good as he closes his eyes to savor the moment. He might have chosen to "savour" the moment, but as he is closer to an American area of operation, he decides to "savor" it. This is no mean level of lingusistic understanding considering his only fluent, spoken English-language phrase is "you die GI", something he learned from a SNLF Lt. on New Caledonia. His reverie is interrupted by the radioman who calls out "many ships, our 9 o'crock". Angrily, the Lt. calls out, "NO ENGRISH!" Then they all start yabbering in Japanese so I have absolutley no idea what they are talking about except from the pointing and excitement and all they are probalby talking about the dozens of ships headed somewhere. The radioman starts using the radio and Lt. Suzuki drops his sea urchin roe on his flight suit. That is going to have some serious stank before they get back to Noumea. Like they say, war is Hell.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: How do you say "WTF" in Japanese? (12/18/2008 7:44:34 PM)
OK...a quiz.....I just noticed something..... except for Ito, what do all the named low level Japanese characters in this thread seem to have in common?

Cap Mandrake -> Operation Inchworm (12/18/2008 8:01:06 PM)
****SITREP, Operation Inchworm, Kai Is., Banda Sea, April 1, 1943******* About 80-85% of Australian 6th Cavalry Div and Sparrow Bn. made it ashore on D-Day. The two small Dutch units are also ashore. 20+ newly deployed Jap bombers were spotted at Amboina, along with 160 fighters. There are also about 8 Vals at Sorong. There are so many top of the line fighters at Amboina, a Jap fighter sweep over Kai followed by a couple of dozen Bettys could have been devasting. With the forces on the ground in good supply, it was decided to return all naval forces to the fighter umbrella of Darwin save for the landing craft which were ordered to shuttle supplies from Aru. This was acoomplished safely with no Jap air attack. The Inchworm landing forces attacked and made good progress, reducing shore fortifications to zero and achieving 1;1 odds. They will attack again today after LBA from Darwin roughs up the Jap defenders. Perhaps the tanks won't be needed although some disciplinary action is required for the king-sized screw up.

witpqs -> RE: Operation Inchworm (12/18/2008 8:35:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake Perhaps the tanks won't be needed although some disciplinary action is required for the king-sized screw up. Is Stalker Girl the household disciplinarian?

Cap Mandrake -> RE: Operation Inchworm (12/19/2008 6:27:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: witpqs quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake Perhaps the tanks won't be needed although some disciplinary action is required for the king-sized screw up. Is Stalker Girl the household disciplinarian? Well...I am pretty sure she wants to be in the household...though that hasn't happened yet. I will try to give enough warning so that a good quality used Viking longboat may be procured.

Cap Mandrake -> Smokesignals (12/19/2008 6:36:36 PM)
*****SouthPac HQ, XXXXXXX, 08:40, April 2, 1943******* Sparks: Sir, here is that odd message from Efate you asked about. The sender is identified as a...<looks at notes>.....Tabpub Captain, Smart, Asst. Intelligence Office, SouthPac: <scans message, which reads> "Report Efate camp only held by squaws with old trade muskets; no Winchesters. Luganville to be checked out by our little crows; if lightly held, fast horse group with raiding party to depart quickum, chop, chop....".......Hmmm, what do you make of this, Sparks? Sparks: Beats me sir, maybe one of them Navajo code talkers. Captain, Smart, Asst. Intelligence Office, SouthPac: Perhaps, but they may be violating opsec. This is nearly intelligible.....Sparks? Sparks: Yes sir? Captain, Smart, Asst. Intelligence Office, SouthPac: I've been meaning to ask. It seems a strange coincidence that you would have a name like "Sparks" and work with electricity. Sparks:** Yes sir, amazing....sort of like you working in intelligence and having a name liek Smart.....

Cap Mandrake -> Don't blame Blamey (12/19/2008 7:53:57 PM)
******Australia Command HQ, Darwin, 09:20, April 2, 1943(b)******** Gen. Blamey: ...and the situation on Kai? Aide: 6th Cavalry reports the airfield and harbour in our control as of 18:00 yesterday. The airfield will need repairs but is usable. They need av gas. Gen. Blamey: Splenid! And what of 5th Armoured Regt? Aide: Well, sir, it seems they lacked the official "activities calender". Theirs was labeled 1943(a). Gen. Blamey: I'm sorry, Col. I thought you said "a". Aide: I did sir. Gen. Blamey: Do you mean like the letter "a". Aide: The very same, sir. Gen. Blamey: That is odd. Aide: Excedingly, sir. Gen. Blamey: Exceeding what, Col? Aide: Why, the oddness, sir. Gen. Blamey: Look, I have no idea why it is so odd. I was hoping you might know. Aide: Oh, no sir, I meant only that the oddness was excedingly odd. Gen. Blamey: How can something exceed itself, col.? Aide: Well, sir, I suppose an entity which is growing could exceed itself. Gen. Blamey: Then I would say we have growing oddness. Aide: Yes, sir. I have thought that for some time. Gen. Blamey: Hmmm, yes, well I have my suspicions that this calender business may be some type of clever plot by the little yellow bastards. I want a top to bottom exam of all the calenders in Australia Command. We need to know about any with any odd letters in them. And send that idiot in command of the 5th Armoured to coastwatcher duty in Tasmania or something. Aide: Yes sir, a fulsome exam. Gen. Blamey:** Full of some of what, Col.?...................

witpqs -> RE: Operation Inchworm (12/20/2008 3:15:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake Well...I am pretty sure she wants to be in the household...though that hasn't happened yet. I will try to give enough warning so that a good quality used Viking longboat may be procured. Such delicate matters must take priority over even an AAR. The boys will be on alert, but please, give us a chance to talk you down if things get hairy. On the AAR and whipping the chain of command into shape, perhaps Frau Braun could be deployed to the theater of operations?

vettim89 -> RE: Operation Inchworm (12/20/2008 3:57:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: witpqs quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake Well...I am pretty sure she wants to be in the household...though that hasn't happened yet. I will try to give enough warning so that a good quality used Viking longboat may be procured. Such delicate matters must take priority over even an AAR. The boys will be on alert, but please, give us a chance to talk you down if things get hairy. On the AAR and whipping the chain of command into shape, perhaps Frau Braun could be deployed to the theater of operations? Oh perhaps Nurse Ratchett may be assigned to one of the field hospitals in the command. She may be able to whip things into shape

Grotius -> RE: Operation Inchworm (12/20/2008 5:17:30 AM)
Almost completely (but not entirely) off-topic: Hey Cap, I was just catching up on this thread and realized I never commented on your Mr. De Groot. My forum handle is another name for De Groot, a 17th-century Dutch philosopher. So I'm in your AAR now! Uh, sort of. OK, it's an obscure handle. I wish I'd chosen something more relevant like Nimitz or Hibiki or Knight Who Until Recently Said Ni. Anyway, I now return you to your regularly-scheduled AAR.

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