Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu!

Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (Full Version)

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Titanwarrior89 -> Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 1:24:35 AM)
1. I am old....er. 2. I drink alot of coffee 3. I like to sit now, when doing number 2 above. 4. I would want free games[:)] 5. I may show up late now, well probley most of the time.[:(] 6. Open Cell phone use.... 7. And sleep at my desk.....big desk 8. A desk bigger than Erik's 9. Believe everything on my resume. 10.Last but not least, never ever stress me out and must be home to watch the Big Bang Theory.[:o]

junk2drive -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 1:50:58 AM)
I sit now when doing number 1. Or do you mean number 2 on your list?

Titanwarrior89 -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 2:08:57 AM)
I like to sit now drinking my coffee instead of rushing, just taking my time.[:)] quote: ORIGINAL: junk2drive I sit now when doing number 1. Or do you mean number 2 on your list?

parusski -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 2:17:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Titanwarrior89 1. I am old....er. 2. I drink alot of coffee 3. I like to sit now, when doing number 2 above. 4. I would want free games[:)] 5. I may show up late now, well probley most of the time.[:(] 6. Open Cell phone use.... 7. And sleep at my desk.....big desk 8. A desk bigger than Erik's 9. Believe everything on my resume. 10.Last but not least, never ever stress me out and must be home to watch the Big Bang Theory.[:o] Ahh, a nice break from teaching "those I can't mention" about life. 1. I only communicate via email. I hate face to face interaction. IM requires too much quick thinking too. 2. Self-starters are over rated. I need very detailed instructions. 3. I believe in individualism, meaning I am NOT a team player...leave me the hell alone. 4. If you expect me to work a full eight hours, then you have huge problems. No one "works" 8 hours. 5. I don't think this would be a problem at Matrix, but...women should be in the kitchen or mixing me drinks all day, like in Mad Men. 6. I don't like-anyone.

rodney727 -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 2:35:13 AM)
I trump you all. 1. I'm from Iowa ...nuff said.

Titanwarrior89 -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 3:32:53 AM)
Parusski, I like your Number 3.[&o] quote: ORIGINAL: parusski Ahh, a nice break from teaching "those I can't mention" about life. 1. I only communicate via email. I hate face to face interaction. IM requires too much quick thinking too. 2. Self-starters are over rated. I need very detailed instructions. 3. I believe in individualism, meaning I am NOT a team player...leave me the hell alone. 4. If you expect me to work a full eight hours, then you have huge problems. No one "works" 8 hours. 5. I don't think this would be a problem at Matrix, but...women should be in the kitchen or mixing me drinks all day, like in Mad Men. 6. I don't like-anyone.

Anguille -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 8:33:18 AM)
I would just spend my time playing the games instead of working....

ilovestrategy -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 1:17:22 PM)
I would mess around with people's avatars. For example, I would replace Steiner's avatar with a pic of that officer that was after the Iron Cross. [:D]

parusski -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 2:11:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ilovestrategy I would mess around with people's avatars. For example, I would replace Steiner's avatar with a pic of that officer that was after the Iron Cross. [:D] That is truly evil ilovestrategybutcantfigureitout. quote: rogo727 truthfully said 1. I'm from Iowa How horrible. quote: titanwarrior89 mumbled: Parusski, I like your Number 3 And it applies to how I feel about you too.[:@] Now, EVERYONE back to work. I am busy playing.

Rtwfreak -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 10:33:58 PM)
Because I would reduce prices to bargain bin prices after the first year. [:D]

Lützow -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/25/2013 11:09:51 PM)
1. Matrix is utilizing MS technologies and I refuse to work with anything not based on UNIX. 2. They couldn't convince 2by3 to introduce a WITP-style air-combat in WitE. [sm=00000459.gif]

Gilmer -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/26/2013 7:56:06 AM)
Reposted from a fellow Crimson Tider.... I drink beer and eat sausages. I sell smart-ass comments on the commodities market and I train my dog to do stupid tricks. I climb ladders and replace light bulbs, I drive to the grocery store when necessary. I float in the tub. When I'm feeling saucy I smoke a cee-gar. I run like the wind and can sing the Alan O'Day hit "Undercover Angel" without snickering. I sell subscriptions to obscure newsletters. I read Sun Tzu. I play darts with the less gifted. I go to malls and look menacing. I taunt the overweight and then run away. I stomp grapes. I dance like Nietzsche and live like Thoreau. I wobble but I don't fall down. I pontificate. I cat-call and heckle. I smoke turkeys. I don't eat the pasta-salad. I make paper airplanes during meetings. I enter contests where the first prize is a go-cart and can't sleep when the drawing date is near. I shop and save. I fight my urges and lose on purpose. I watch "Gilligans Island" and dig Ginger. I watch "I Dream of Jeannie" and wonder how long I'd put up with Air-Force crap with that little magical snuggle bunny at home in her jammies. I found Waldo. I dress accordingly. I sit still during church. I giggle when teachers say "asphalt" or "Uranus". But most of all.... I love the Tide! Do I qualify?

parusski -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/26/2013 2:38:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: H Gilmer Reposted from a fellow Crimson Tider.... I drink beer and eat sausages. I sell smart-ass comments on the commodities market and I train my dog to do stupid tricks. I climb ladders and replace light bulbs, I drive to the grocery store when necessary. I float in the tub. When I'm feeling saucy I smoke a cee-gar. I run like the wind and can sing the Alan O'Day hit "Undercover Angel" without snickering. I sell subscriptions to obscure newsletters. I read Sun Tzu. I play darts with the less gifted. I go to malls and look menacing. I taunt the overweight and then run away. I stomp grapes. I dance like Nietzsche and live like Thoreau. I wobble but I don't fall down. I pontificate. I cat-call and heckle. I smoke turkeys. I don't eat the pasta-salad. I make paper airplanes during meetings. I enter contests where the first prize is a go-cart and can't sleep when the drawing date is near. I shop and save. I fight my urges and lose on purpose. I watch "Gilligans Island" and dig Ginger. I watch "I Dream of Jeannie" and wonder how long I'd put up with Air-Force crap with that little magical snuggle bunny at home in her jammies. I found Waldo. I dress accordingly. I sit still during church. I giggle when teachers say "asphalt" or "Uranus". But most of all.... I love the Tide! Do I qualify? OOOHHHH, sorry H Gilmer-girl, but the Tide remark disqualifies you - for every thing. We Volunteer loyalists simply HATE you people!!!![sm=00000028.gif][sm=00000018.gif][sm=fighting0043.gif] Other than having a mental handicap caused by the ugly color crimson, it sounds as though you have a great life.

Titanwarrior89 -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/26/2013 3:55:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: H Gilmer Reposted from a fellow Crimson Tider.... I drink beer and eat sausages. I sell smart-ass comments on the commodities market and I train my dog to do stupid tricks. I climb ladders and replace light bulbs, I drive to the grocery store when necessary. I float in the tub. When I'm feeling saucy I smoke a cee-gar. I run like the wind and can sing the Alan O'Day hit "Undercover Angel" without snickering. I sell subscriptions to obscure newsletters. I read Sun Tzu. I play darts with the less gifted. I go to malls and look menacing. I taunt the overweight and then run away. I stomp grapes. I dance like Nietzsche and live like Thoreau. I wobble but I don't fall down. I pontificate. I cat-call and heckle. I smoke turkeys. I don't eat the pasta-salad. I make paper airplanes during meetings. I enter contests where the first prize is a go-cart and can't sleep when the drawing date is near. I shop and save. I fight my urges and lose on purpose. I watch "Gilligans Island" and dig Ginger. I watch "I Dream of Jeannie" and wonder how long I'd put up with Air-Force crap with that little magical snuggle bunny at home in her jammies. I found Waldo. I dress accordingly. I sit still during church. I giggle when teachers say "asphalt" or "Uranus". But most of all.... I love the Tide! Do I qualify? [:D]

TonyE -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/26/2013 5:48:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rogo727 I trump you all. 1. I'm from Iowa ...nuff said. [:D]

parusski -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/26/2013 7:14:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Titanwarrior89 quote: ORIGINAL: H Gilmer Reposted from a fellow Crimson Tider.... I drink beer and eat sausages. I sell smart-ass comments on the commodities market and I train my dog to do stupid tricks. I climb ladders and replace light bulbs, I drive to the grocery store when necessary. I float in the tub. When I'm feeling saucy I smoke a cee-gar. I run like the wind and can sing the Alan O'Day hit "Undercover Angel" without snickering. I sell subscriptions to obscure newsletters. I read Sun Tzu. I play darts with the less gifted. I go to malls and look menacing. I taunt the overweight and then run away. I stomp grapes. I dance like Nietzsche and live like Thoreau. I wobble but I don't fall down. I pontificate. I cat-call and heckle. I smoke turkeys. I don't eat the pasta-salad. I make paper airplanes during meetings. I enter contests where the first prize is a go-cart and can't sleep when the drawing date is near. I shop and save. I fight my urges and lose on purpose. I watch "Gilligans Island" and dig Ginger. I watch "I Dream of Jeannie" and wonder how long I'd put up with Air-Force crap with that little magical snuggle bunny at home in her jammies. I found Waldo. I dress accordingly. I sit still during church. I giggle when teachers say "asphalt" or "Uranus". But most of all.... I love the Tide! Do I qualify? [:D] I hope your little smiley face has nothing to do with that disgusting crimson tide.[;)]

Southernland -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/26/2013 11:09:22 PM)
1. i've seen their office, there is absolutely nowhere safe to string up my hammock 2. My main goal at work is to turn a gallon of coffee into a gallon of pee by knock off time* 3. I want a PC and a Mac 4. my secondary goal would be to restructure all hex based current games to random shape based games 5. Sexual inequality in the workplace, if i ain't getting none then no one should be 6. Knock off time would be flexible in my favour, conceivably finishing work for the day might even precede starting work for the day* 7. **Start time would require a optimum flexability descretionary clause (see reason 6) 8. I believe i am less of a team player than parusski, and would go to extreme (some may say psychotic) measures to prove it 9. five days and 40 hours? Oh dear don't be silly!

Titanwarrior89 -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/26/2013 11:14:00 PM)
You get the Rope and I'll get the Stool, then we flip and sees who kicks it.[:)] quote: ORIGINAL: parusski quote: ORIGINAL: Titanwarrior89 quote: ORIGINAL: H Gilmer Reposted from a fellow Crimson Tider.... I drink beer and eat sausages. I sell smart-ass comments on the commodities market and I train my dog to do stupid tricks. I climb ladders and replace light bulbs, I drive to the grocery store when necessary. I float in the tub. When I'm feeling saucy I smoke a cee-gar. I run like the wind and can sing the Alan O'Day hit "Undercover Angel" without snickering. I sell subscriptions to obscure newsletters. I read Sun Tzu. I play darts with the less gifted. I go to malls and look menacing. I taunt the overweight and then run away. I stomp grapes. I dance like Nietzsche and live like Thoreau. I wobble but I don't fall down. I pontificate. I cat-call and heckle. I smoke turkeys. I don't eat the pasta-salad. I make paper airplanes during meetings. I enter contests where the first prize is a go-cart and can't sleep when the drawing date is near. I shop and save. I fight my urges and lose on purpose. I watch "Gilligans Island" and dig Ginger. I watch "I Dream of Jeannie" and wonder how long I'd put up with Air-Force crap with that little magical snuggle bunny at home in her jammies. I found Waldo. I dress accordingly. I sit still during church. I giggle when teachers say "asphalt" or "Uranus". But most of all.... I love the Tide! Do I qualify? [:D] I hope your little smiley face has nothing to do with that disgusting crimson tide.[;)]

Titanwarrior89 -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/26/2013 11:18:16 PM)
No Hammock! I am out. They'll have to find someone else. Oh yea I hate to Multi-task for someone else. But I am good at Multi-tasking, I can fish and eat hot dogs at the same time.[&o] But pick up a phone and sharpen a pencil......no can't and won't do it. Their lucky if they get me.[:D]

ilovestrategy -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/27/2013 12:27:59 AM)
I would use gold plated CDs for games and never charge for shipping.

Gilmer -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/27/2013 4:08:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: parusski quote: ORIGINAL: H Gilmer Reposted from a fellow Crimson Tider.... I drink beer and eat sausages. I sell smart-ass comments on the commodities market and I train my dog to do stupid tricks. I climb ladders and replace light bulbs, I drive to the grocery store when necessary. I float in the tub. When I'm feeling saucy I smoke a cee-gar. I run like the wind and can sing the Alan O'Day hit "Undercover Angel" without snickering. I sell subscriptions to obscure newsletters. I read Sun Tzu. I play darts with the less gifted. I go to malls and look menacing. I taunt the overweight and then run away. I stomp grapes. I dance like Nietzsche and live like Thoreau. I wobble but I don't fall down. I pontificate. I cat-call and heckle. I smoke turkeys. I don't eat the pasta-salad. I make paper airplanes during meetings. I enter contests where the first prize is a go-cart and can't sleep when the drawing date is near. I shop and save. I fight my urges and lose on purpose. I watch "Gilligans Island" and dig Ginger. I watch "I Dream of Jeannie" and wonder how long I'd put up with Air-Force crap with that little magical snuggle bunny at home in her jammies. I found Waldo. I dress accordingly. I sit still during church. I giggle when teachers say "asphalt" or "Uranus". But most of all.... I love the Tide! Do I qualify? OOOHHHH, sorry H Gilmer-girl, but the Tide remark disqualifies you - for every thing. We Volunteer loyalists simply HATE you people!!!![sm=00000028.gif][sm=00000018.gif][sm=fighting0043.gif] Other than having a mental handicap caused by the ugly color crimson, it sounds as though you have a great life. Orange: The color you take when Red is already taken. How's the Great Pumpkin, eh eh eh?

parusski -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/27/2013 4:13:15 PM)
quote: 4. my secondary goal would be to restructure all hex based current games to random shape based games I like all your reasons, but number 4 is really brilliant.[:D]

parusski -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/27/2013 4:14:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: H Gilmer quote: ORIGINAL: parusski quote: ORIGINAL: H Gilmer Reposted from a fellow Crimson Tider.... I drink beer and eat sausages. I sell smart-ass comments on the commodities market and I train my dog to do stupid tricks. I climb ladders and replace light bulbs, I drive to the grocery store when necessary. I float in the tub. When I'm feeling saucy I smoke a cee-gar. I run like the wind and can sing the Alan O'Day hit "Undercover Angel" without snickering. I sell subscriptions to obscure newsletters. I read Sun Tzu. I play darts with the less gifted. I go to malls and look menacing. I taunt the overweight and then run away. I stomp grapes. I dance like Nietzsche and live like Thoreau. I wobble but I don't fall down. I pontificate. I cat-call and heckle. I smoke turkeys. I don't eat the pasta-salad. I make paper airplanes during meetings. I enter contests where the first prize is a go-cart and can't sleep when the drawing date is near. I shop and save. I fight my urges and lose on purpose. I watch "Gilligans Island" and dig Ginger. I watch "I Dream of Jeannie" and wonder how long I'd put up with Air-Force crap with that little magical snuggle bunny at home in her jammies. I found Waldo. I dress accordingly. I sit still during church. I giggle when teachers say "asphalt" or "Uranus". But most of all.... I love the Tide! Do I qualify? OOOHHHH, sorry H Gilmer-girl, but the Tide remark disqualifies you - for every thing. We Volunteer loyalists simply HATE you people!!!![sm=00000028.gif][sm=00000018.gif][sm=fighting0043.gif] Other than having a mental handicap caused by the ugly color crimson, it sounds as though you have a great life. Orange: The color you take when Red is already taken. How's the Great Pumpkin, eh eh eh? Red is the color people show when it is discovered they attended Alabama. TitanW, I have rope.

Rtwfreak -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/28/2013 5:46:08 AM)
I would actually make printed manuals for "all" games and not charge extra for them. [:D]

DivePac88 -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/28/2013 8:50:16 AM)
1/ Because I'm an Emu from New Zealand. [sm=scared0008.gif] 2/ Also because I wear an Indian braided leather/copper/bead bracelet. [;)] 3/ But mainly because I do really strange things to bread. [X(] 4/ And finally because I [replacement word] swear. [:'(]

Anguille -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/28/2013 9:31:27 AM)
Because i would be working on a game that would please only me....

SLAAKMAN -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/29/2013 1:25:10 AM)
quote: 1. I am old....er. 2. I drink alot of coffee 3. I like to sit now, when doing number 2 above. 4. I would want free games 5. I may show up late now, well probley most of the time. 6. Open Cell phone use.... 7. And sleep at my desk.....big desk 8. A desk bigger than Erik's 9. Believe everything on my resume. 10.Last but not least, never ever stress me out and must be home to watch the Big Bang Theory. I just took a second look at that list Tian. Thats some pretty darn good Slaakery youve got going on there I must admit. Id maybe split a hair or two on it but its still rather glorious indeed. For that I award you the video of the day; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BFxjDryrBE

parusski -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/29/2013 1:28:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Anguille Because i would be working on a game that would please only me.... You just won 1st place for best post. We will be sending you 33 pounds of Brazilian Peanut Brittle.

Anguille -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/29/2013 9:31:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: parusski quote: ORIGINAL: Anguille Because i would be working on a game that would please only me.... You just won 1st place for best post. We will be sending you 33 pounds of Brazilian Peanut Brittle. ehm...thank you...?

Josh -> RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! (1/29/2013 2:33:02 PM)
You folks can't hire me because I'm wearing these; [img]http://static.nationalgeographic.nl/pictures/genjUserPhotoPicture/mediaBig/07/81/37/klompen-4-378107.jpg[/img] No honestly.

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