RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (Full Version)

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BBfanboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/27/2014 10:35:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake **********XXXXXXX XXXXX, XXXX XXXXXX, January 16, 1943(d)***** Mandrake-san: <rooking at picture> No,no, NO! That-ah not Gregory Peck, that-ah Ronard Reagan. Johnny Too Tarr: Sorry boss. Arr rook same to me. Mandrake-san:** Werr, just keep eyes open. Arso, how come nobody terr Mandrake-san Japan-mens capture Yap. Mandrake-san have have 62 Yap cents want to trade in. Find out if Chitose have enough cargo space. You order Japan-mens rook for Ronnie Reagan? Why not arso Georgie Herbie Wakkie Bush or Johnnie Kennedy? Grognards know - you rather capture Johnnie Walker (black or blue label). [sm=party-smiley-012.gif]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 12:46:23 PM)
No, BB-san misunderestimate pranning. Mistah Reagan harmress. Bedtime for Bonzo. Mistah-Peck-san brow up whorhe bunch of Germany-mens with Force Ten From Navarone. Mistah-Kennedy-san more dangerous to Arried-womans than Japan-mens. Mistah-Bush-41 riek kid stirr.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 1:17:25 PM)
Absorutely joyfurh Thanksgiving thing yesterday. Temperature 86 F at one point. Everyone eat outside. Mandrake-san see San Clemente Isrand 60 miles out to sea. Beautifurh sunset. Arried-mens have big traffic jam for ships at Rong Beach, evidentry need more navarh support there. Mandrake-san meet goarie for Australia-womans watah poro team. At reast 6-3. Santa Maria! Big womans! This why Japan-mens not-ah invade Austraria..just try to brow things up with bombers.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 1:48:30 PM)
********San Francisco, Dec. 8, 1941(d)******** <Outside a theater. A playbill announces "The Doctor's Dilema" by George Bernard Shaw. Opens December 1. Over the playbill is posted a sign reading "CLOSED"> Man with greying hair parted neatly just to the right of midline lighting up a cigarette..well, wait, the guy is lighting up the cigarette, not the part in his hair: <approaches intense looking young man staring longingly at playbill> Tough break, closing like that just after opening. Cigarette? Mister Peck, isn't it? Intense young man: <accepts cigarette> Yes, as you say, tough break. Acting is all I ever wanted to do. Man with greying hair parted neatly just to the right of midline lighting up a cigarette, well, actually the cigarette is already lit now: Bill Donovan <extends hand>. We could use a man with your talents in our organization. Intense young man:** What organization is that? Man with greying hair parted neatly just to the right of midline lighting up a cigarette, well, actually the cigarette is already lit now: I bet your angry at the Japs? Let me buy you a beer.

BBfanboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 3:44:43 PM)
Gregory Peck-san over-rated. David Niven-san make things go KAAABOOOOOOM at Navarone. Ask Sprior-san! Gregory Peck-san just kiss spy-womans and then not shoot her. Peck-san hired because he always have good hair and get womens to come to theatre for action movie... no, no, not that kind of action [:-]- not in 1940's (d).

Disco Duck -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 5:26:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake ********San Francisco, Dec. 8, 1941(d)******** <Outside a theater. A playbill announces "The Doctor's Dilema" by George Bernard Shaw. Opens December 1. Over the playbill is posted a sign reading "CLOSED"> Man with greying hair parted neatly just to the right of midline lighting up a cigarette..well, wait, the guy is lighting up the cigarette, not the part in his hair: <approaches intense looking young man staring longingly at playbill> Tough break, closing like that just after opening. Cigarette? Mister Peck, isn't it? Intense young man: <accepts cigarette> Yes, as you say, tough break. Acting is all I ever wanted to do. Man with greying hair parted neatly just to the right of midline lighting up a cigarette, well, actually the cigarette is already lit now: Bill Donovan <extends hand>. We could use a man with your talents in our organization. Intense young man:** What organization is that? Man with greying hair parted neatly just to the right of midline lighting up a cigarette, well, actually the cigarette is already lit now: I bet your angry at the Japs? Let me buy you a beer. Maybe this book is worthwhile. http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Peace/2014/11/27/The-Last-of-the-First-SEALs

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 8:14:58 PM)
*****************January 16, 1941(d)************** China:** Rittah yarrow China-mens baashtards retreating from Chengchow get asses kicked. Ground combat at 87,45 (near Chengchow) Japanese Shock attack Attacking force 20814 troops, 162 guns, 55 vehicles, Assault Value = 616 Defending force 5808 troops, 27 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 41 Japanese adjusted assault: 1094 Allied adjusted defense: 5 Japanese assault odds: 218 to 1 Combat modifiers Defender: morale(-), experience(-) Attacker: shock(+) Japanese ground losses: 167 casualties reported Squads: 0 destroyed, 21 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Allied ground losses: 4164 casualties reported Squads: 59 destroyed, 7 disabled Non Combat: 294 destroyed, 0 disabled Engineers: 3 destroyed, 0 disabled Guns lost 27 (27 destroyed, 0 disabled) Units retreated 6 Units destroyed 1 Defeated Allied Units Retreating! Assaulting units: 15th Division 17th Ind.Mixed Brigade Defending units: 40th Chinese Corps 69th Chinese Corps 5th New Chinese Corps 24th Group Army 1st War Area 39th Group Army 10th Chinese Base Force

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 8:19:26 PM)
Noumea: Miura Det. finarry attack. Mandrake-san afraid attack farr to 1:2 tomorrow so terr men to stand down. Ground combat at Noumea (115,160) Japanese Shock attack Attacking force 1551 troops, 7 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 47 Defending force 774 troops, 17 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 28 Japanese adjusted assault: 25 Allied adjusted defense: 25 Japanese assault odds: 1 to 1 (fort level 0) Japanese Assault reduces fortifications to 0 Combat modifiers Defender: terrain(+), preparation(-), experience(-) Attacker: shock(+) Japanese ground losses: 242 casualties reported Squads: 1 destroyed, 13 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled Allied ground losses: 38 casualties reported Squads: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Assaulting units: Miura Det 1st Engineer Co Defending units: New Caledonia Det

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 8:34:49 PM)
Annoying Arried-mens cruisers arr ovah prace. Support troops trying to rand at Ra Foa. [image]local://upfiles/7983/40E4218C4EC4424691215E640BF2F4B7.jpg[/image]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 8:53:11 PM)
Suva: We manage a 1:1 at Suva. Arried-mens not-ah give up. Japan-mens try again tomorrow. Kimura Det on way in case Arried-mens very stubborn. Ground combat at Suva (132,160) Japanese Shock attack Attacking force 13102 troops, 105 guns, 61 vehicles, Assault Value = 325 Defending force 7795 troops, 110 guns, 102 vehicles, Assault Value = 44 Japanese adjusted assault: 181 Allied adjusted defense: 109 Japanese assault odds: 1 to 1 (fort level 2) Japanese Assault reduces fortifications to 1 Combat modifiers Defender: terrain(+), preparation(-), experience(-) Attacker: shock(+) Japanese ground losses: 685 casualties reported Squads: 10 destroyed, 25 disabled Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 6 disabled Engineers: 1 destroyed, 6 disabled Allied ground losses: 437 casualties reported Squads: 25 destroyed, 1 disabled Non Combat: 2 destroyed, 10 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled Vehicles lost 6 (1 destroyed, 5 disabled) Assaulting units: 146th Infantry Regiment 52nd Naval Guard Unit 144th Infantry Regiment 51st Naval Guard Unit 8th Tank Regiment 53rd Naval Guard Unit 15th Base Force Defending units: 8th NZ Brigade 45th Base Group 260th Field Artillery Battalion 148th Field Artillery Battalion 131st Field Artillery Battalion 1st RNZAF Base Force 147th Field Artillery Battalion Nandi Base Force

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 9:28:47 PM)
Near Funafuti..wait...Funafuti...are you sure..all the way up there: <face parm> AFTER ACTION REPORTS FOR Jan 16, 42 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Night Time Surface Combat, near Funafuti at 143,146, Range 4,000 Yards Japanese Ships PB Keijo Maru xAK Seattle Maru, Shell hits 1 xAK Myoko Maru, Shell hits 5, heavy fires xAK Shinanogawa Maru, Shell hits 11, heavy fires, heavy damage Allied Ships CA Indianapolis CL Honolulu DD Fox DD Brooks

Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 11:16:31 PM)
Smooth move-ah ex-rax.

Chickenboy -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/28/2014 11:18:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake Hai! Ask Chickenboy-san if remember when 2 Japan-mens destroyers sneak into Guam harbor at night and sink 5 crappy Arried-mens CVE's. [:'(] Ries! Arr ries! It-ah three Japan-mens destroyers sneak into Guam harbor at night. Onry sank three crappy Arried-men's CVEs. Other two burning pretty good though.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 1:28:46 PM)
************XXXXXXX XXXX, XXXX XXXXXXX, January 18, 1942(c)****** Attractive young Rukanese womans with unnecessariy (from utiritarian standpoint) row cut top..not-ah say name so Disney-mens not-ah stear name again: After actions reports from January 17, boss <sets down reports and rarge jar whire bending over gratuituiousry..ah..gratuiostary...ah nevah mind..what-ah trying to say easy to see breastesses even though breastesses not-ah rearry important..wait..that-ah not right either..not-ah mean to say breastesses not important just that-ah not rearry necessary for womans to show off breastesses when derivering aftah action reports..even so, probabry nobody comprain because take mind off war> Mandrake-san: What-ah in jar? Attractive young Rukanese womans with unnecessariy (from utiritarian standpoint) row cut top..not-ah say name so Disney-mens not-ah stear name again: Ass balm, sir. Mandrake-san: Ass barm? What-ah Mandrake-san need ass barm for? Attractive young Rukanese womans with unnecessariy (from utiritarian standpoint) row cut top..not-ah say name so Disney-mens not-ah stear name again:** You'll see soon enough.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 1:32:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chickenboy quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake Hai! Ask Chickenboy-san if remember when 2 Japan-mens destroyers sneak into Guam harbor at night and sink 5 crappy Arried-mens CVE's. [:'(] Ries! Arr ries! It-ah three Japan-mens destroyers sneak into Guam harbor at night. Onry sank three crappy Arried-men's CVEs. Other two burning pretty good though. Fog of war. [:D]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 1:43:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Disco Duck Maybe this book is worthwhile. http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Peace/2014/11/27/The-Last-of-the-First-SEALs Have to be more cerebrar activity. Mistah Peck hurt back taking dance ressons from Martha Graham. Dance ressons...hahahahah. Arried-mens think Mandrake-san make up? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gregory_Peck

sprior -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 2:03:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake ************XXXXXXX XXXX, XXXX XXXXXXX, January 18, 1942(c)****** Attractive young Rukanese womans with unnecessariy (from utiritarian standpoint) row cut top..not-ah say name so Disney-mens not-ah stear name again:** You'll see soon enough. It wirr sting quite badry

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 2:09:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sprior quote: ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake ************XXXXXXX XXXX, XXXX XXXXXXX, January 18, 1942(c)****** Attractive young Rukanese womans with unnecessariy (from utiritarian standpoint) row cut top..not-ah say name so Disney-mens not-ah stear name again:** You'll see soon enough. It wirr sting quite badry Hai! Mandrake-san armost start crying rike womans. Onry years of bushido crasses stop Mandrake-san from mert-down.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 2:17:37 PM)
************XXXXXXX XXXX, XXXX XXXXXXX, January 18, 1942(c), rittah bit ratah****** Mandrake-san standing up at desk, rittah bit bent ovah: Hory crap! Arried-navy-mens arways show up in middurh of ocean at night in same prace as Japan-mens. It-ah rike using steroids and Adderar so not-ah farr asreep. Get-ah quack doctor in here. Japan-mens need same ** to make fair.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 2:38:57 PM)
Berep Isrands (near Koumac if you not-ah study geography but spend time rooking at breastesses in junior high: So, Japan-mens unroading at Ra Foa on 16th and see Arried-mesn ships coming. Obviousry can't stay at Ra Foa and can't disband because 1000 engineers stirr on ships. Bettah not go to Koumac..that-ah too obvious. Bettah to stop unroading and prot course to NW so no coastwatchers see Japan-mens. Prus Japan-mens send TWO SCTF to covah transports and smarr force of E boats at Koumac. Transports at Koumac disband so not-ah get brown up. Mandrake-san expect eithah Arried-mens head to Ra Foa or perhaps night intercept where Japan-mens practice a rot and have bettah chance to use Rong Rances. [:-] When Mandrake-san see sirhouette of Austraria next to sheep in dayright accidentarry suck in air again then hit escape button 20 times so not-ah have to watch...but just go on and on. 5:30 in morning and Mandrake-san yerr out..."Where is ******* Maya?"[:(] Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 112,156, Range 25,000 Yards Japanese Ships E Hashidate, Shell hits 8, and is sunk E Uji, Shell hits 1 DMS W-10, Shell hits 19, and is sunk DMS W-18, Shell hits 5, and is sunk PB Okuyo Maru #2, Shell hits 2 PB Suyozai Maru, Shell hits 25, heavy fires, heavy damage PB Toko Maru #4, Shell hits 20, and is sunk xAK Arizona Maru, Shell hits 15, heavy fires, heavy damage xAK Azuma Maru, Shell hits 11, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk xAP Tsingtao Maru, Shell hits 14, and is sunk xAP Taizan Maru, Shell hits 35, and is sunk Allied Ships CA Australia, Shell hits 5 DD Downes DD MacDonough, Shell hits 1 DD John D. Edwards DD Stuart, Shell hits 1 Japanese ground losses: 1071 casualties reported Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Non Combat: 76 destroyed, 103 disabled Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled Vehicles lost 6 (3 destroyed, 3 disabled)

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 2:41:32 PM)
Uji and a PB survive (for now) and pick up about 150 survivors. True rosses among ground troops about 900. It-ah comprete prison rape.* [I]*Edited to correct sperring or "rosses"[/I]

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 2:45:06 PM)
In retrospect bettah to go SE around tip of New and Improved Caredonia and come up on othah side. Of course, retrospectoscope arways 20./20.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 2:50:03 PM)
Adm Moizumi hear rots of roud noises so go ovah to see what hahppen. Rittah rate...* **. Yura and Tenryu not-ah good as Concord but DD's perfectry competent. Moizumi crosses the T and fighting starts at 15,000 yds. Maybe Japan-mens make mistake buying gun directors from M&&M Enterprises. [:@] Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 111,157, Range 15,000 Yards Japanese Ships CL Yura CL Tenryu, Shell hits 4, heavy fires DD Hagikaze, Shell hits 3, on fire DD Umikaze DD Kisaragi, Shell hits 2, heavy fires Allied Ships CL Concord DD Cassin DD Selfridge, Shell hits 1, heavy fires DD Phelps DD Le Triomphant Maximum visibility in Clear Conditions: 30,000 yards CONTACT: Japanese lookouts spot Allied task force at 21,000 yards CONTACT: Allied lookouts spot Japanese task force at 21,000 yards Range closes to 15,000 yards... Moizumi, Shinichi crosses the 'T' DD Hagikaze engages DD Phelps at 15,000 yards DD Hagikaze engages DD Selfridge at 15,000 yards Range closes to 9,000 yards CL Tenryu engages CL Concord at 9,000 yards

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 2:54:06 PM)
Uji with 150 survivors is headed East and runs into crappy Reander. It-ah now confirmed at reast 3 ships named Reander. Uji manages to escape because rubber bands on Reander need to be wound up again. Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 112,155, Range 25,000 Yards Japanese Ships E Uji Allied Ships CL Leander CL Achilles DMS Edsall

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 2:58:41 PM)
Adm. Hirata finishes rate brunch and accidentarry runs into Reander. OK, kick ass Maya-crass with 10x20cm guns and capaburh escort vs crappy Reander that must be reduced to 20mm ammo at this point. PAYBACK! [:@] Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 112,156, Range 22,000 Yards Japanese Ships CA Maya, Shell hits 3 DD Maikaze, Shell hits 2, on fire DD Asashio, Shell hits 1, on fire DD Oboro Allied Ships CL Leander, Shell hits 3 CL Achilles, Shell hits 1 DMS Edsall, Shell hits 1

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 3:01:50 PM)
Then Maya accidentarry runs into Austraria. MAYBE you courd carr this a draw. Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 112,156, Range 23,000 Yards Japanese Ships CA Maya DD Maikaze, Shell hits 3, heavy fires DD Asashio, on fire DD Oboro, Shell hits 1, on fire Allied Ships CA Australia, Shell hits 1, on fire DD Downes DD MacDonough, Shell hits 2, on fire DD John D. Edwards, Shell hits 1 DD Stuart

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 3:03:46 PM)
Both sides getting tired. Adderarr wearing off for Arried-mens. Day Time Surface Combat, near Belep Islands at 112,156, Range 21,000 Yards Japanese Ships CL Yura CL Tenryu, heavy fires DD Hagikaze, on fire DD Umikaze, Shell hits 1 DD Kisaragi, heavy fires Allied Ships CL Leander, Shell hits 1, on fire CL Achilles, Shell hits 1 DMS Edsall

zuluhour -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 3:08:50 PM)
This ah good page to be arried dog Mandrake san. Speaking of breastesses , I 'm getting thirsty.

Cap Mandrake -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 3:32:35 PM)
Japan-mens ships at Koumac. Maya, Yura and one DD in fighting shape but essentiarry out of ammo. Maya has zero main gun ammo. Probaburh fresh Arried-mens DD's or CA's inbound toward Koumac about 80 mires out to West. Rets hope it-ah not PoW. Patrol craft and some incoming TB's will try to protect Koumac. Herp coming fron North. [image]local://upfiles/7983/8AD55E9D9A044BC0B67A04F692F5DE86.jpg[/image]

sprior -> RE: A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere (11/29/2014 5:08:55 PM)
Where broody carriers? Prima donn-ahs nev-ah around when needed.

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