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RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/5/2007 3:27:31 AM   
BrucePowers


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(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
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RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/5/2007 4:26:17 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

What was your major in college again?


Why, a BS degree, of course.

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RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/5/2007 4:48:59 PM   
Terminus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

***************10th Air Force HQ, Dacca, October 1, 1942************


Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF:....the continued low pressure area in the Northern Bay of Bengal combined with a colder air mass undergoing adiabatic cooling upon descent from the central Himalayas continues to promote cyclonic action in the Northern Bay of...

Gen. Chennault: OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! CUT THE CRAP! I COULDN'T GIVE A **** ABOUT COLD AIR MASSES, WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS IT GOING TO RAIN OR ISN'T IT?

Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: <eyes dart furtively from side to side, his weight shifts nervously from foot to foot> Erm..yes sir. It is going to rain, heavily.

Gen. Chennault: OK. Now we are getting somewhere. WHEN is it going to rain son?

Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: <a look of abject terror descends over his face> Sir...I don't know sir.

Gen. Chennault: OH GREAT! THAT'S JUST ****ING GREAT! CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY WE ARE HAVING THIS ****ING MEETING THEN? <scans the room>

Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: <swallows audibly> Sir, it is a matter of adequate weather stations over the central Bay of Bengal.

Gen. Chennault: And that is my concern, how? Look, I have a war to run. The poor bastards hacking their way down that stinking jungle trail need our help and I propose to give it to them. There is a fresh Jap division sitting on the rail line from Mandalay probably enjoying warm sake while we sit around in a group jerk-off talking about "cyclonic ativity". How about those islands there? Don't we have some coastwatchers or something? Can't they give us a
Goddmaned weather report?

Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: Sir, those are the Maldives.

Gen. Chennault: Captain, pretend I don't know about the Maldives.

Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: Well, sir. It seems they have...well...

Gen. Chennault: MARY MOTHER OF GOD, CAPTAIN! JSUT TELL ME ABOUT THE GODDMANED MALDIVES!

Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: Well, sir, it seems the Royal Navy says they are gone.

Gen. Chennault: <Pinches nose hard, one can see his jaw muscles grinding his molars into dust, after some time an aura of calm seems to overtake him and a beautific smile comes over his face... he speaks> Captain. Would you be so kind as to tell me when the storm season is liekly to be at its worst around here.

Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: <clearly relieved to have a question appropriately framed in probabalistic terms> Yes, sir. The Monsoonal season is bimodal, a second peak is historically noted in November.....


Reminds me of the old Splunge sketch from Monty Python...

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Post #: 1533
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/5/2007 5:14:50 PM   
VSWG


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Status: offline 		What's going on in the Pacific? Is tabpub doing his share of the fighting?

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RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/5/2007 8:40:09 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VSWG

What's going on in the Pacific? Is tabpub doing his share of the fighting?


The Pacific is very....well...pacific for now. Midway is back in US hands. New Zealand now seems safe after the drubbing the Japs took at Perth. The Canton, Tonga, Pago Pago salient is still annoyingly sticking out into Allied shipping lanes but the Jap carriers have not been seen for many weeks. Yamato and a bunch of heavy cruisers are still at Koepang but the carriers are nowhere to be found. The RN carriers (most of them) are certainly known by the Japs to be on station off Perth (gaining experience and guarding against a resuce op) but the position of the US carriers is likely a mystery to the Japs. The US 32nd ID is on loan to Australia Command to help clean things up at Perth but the rest of the US Army and Marines are planning to do bad things to the Japs. Nothing short of waterboarding is going to make me disclose that


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 10/5/2007 8:43:09 PM >

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RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/5/2007 9:55:35 PM   
ny59giants


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quote:

The US 32nd ID is on loan to Australia Command to help clean things up at Perth but the rest of the US Army and Marines are planning to do bad things to the Japs. Nothing short of waterboarding is going to make me disclose that


When might ask "stalker girl" to do that.
She may enjoy it.

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Post #: 1536
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/5/2007 10:21:05 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ny59giants

quote:

The US 32nd ID is on loan to Australia Command to help clean things up at Perth but the rest of the US Army and Marines are planning to do bad things to the Japs. Nothing short of waterboarding is going to make me disclose that


When might ask "stalker girl" to do that.
She may enjoy it.


You are just adding to my paranoia. I woke up in a cold sweat the other night dreaming I was chained to a bed like Jimmy Caan in Misery. Did I mention stalker girl is a nurse?

Looks like the commando raid in the office is off. I cant see how she is going to get off a plane at 12:30, rent a car and drive here in 45 minutes before my afternoon schedule starts.

That's OK...I wasn't looking forward to cleaning off my desk.

(in reply to ny59giants)
Post #: 1537
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/6/2007 12:10:20 AM   
ny59giants


Posts: 9869
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		I'm a crisis counselor. I know that most medical doctors avoid mental health issues as much as possible. I go into the local ER's all the time and they defer to me.

Thus, I feel well equipped to deal with your minor issues.
We can deal with the paranoia and dreams off line.

You also realize that "many" nurses quietly stalk doctors due to $$$.

< Message edited by ny59giants -- 10/6/2007 12:25:58 AM >

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Post #: 1538
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/6/2007 12:51:05 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ny59giants
...You also realize that "many" nurses quietly stalk doctors due to $$$.


I know. Is this a great country or what.?


To paraphrase Chico Marx...."the money, she fool her, she no show up" My kids spend it.


On balance, I would have to say y'all gotta get yourselves one of these stalker girls.


PS...the 1:30 appointment, she fool me, she no show up ....but stalker girl did.

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Post #: 1539
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/6/2007 1:02:19 AM   
kaleun

 

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quote:

PS...the 1:30 appointment, she fool me, she no show up ....but stalker girl did.


The forum waits in silence.



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Post #: 1540
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/6/2007 1:06:41 AM   
BrucePowers


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


quote:

ORIGINAL: ny59giants
...You also realize that "many" nurses quietly stalk doctors due to $$$.


I know. Is this a great country or what.?


To paraphrase Chico Marx...."the money, she fool her, she no show up" My kids spend it.


On balance, I would have to say y'all gotta get yourselves one of these stalker girls.


PS...the 1:30 appointment, she fool me, she no show up ....but stalker girl did.



No I don't

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)
Post #: 1541
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/6/2007 1:32:26 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kaleun

quote:

PS...the 1:30 appointment, she fool me, she no show up ....but stalker girl did.


The forum waits in silence.




I know...I can't wait to find out how my big raid on the 70th Div turned out. Either Tabpub or John has the turn.

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Post #: 1542
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/6/2007 1:38:03 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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Status: offline 		I'm confused. Why are you online when she's within arm's reach? Did you send her out for more limes?

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Post #: 1543
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/6/2007 1:46:01 AM   
bobogoboom


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Status: offline 		If she is a good stalker girl he might not need his hands

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Post #: 1544
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/6/2007 1:56:03 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

I'm confused. Why are you online when she's within arm's reach? Did you send her out for more limes?


Yes..good question. I am still at work..it's only 15:50 California time. I banished her for a few hours after the special operations. I tasked her with the Amaretto purchase and theThai food. Yes...I know Amaretto is a chick drink..but it is pretty good with ice as an aperitif and it is sweet and highly viscous and <redacted>

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Post #: 1545
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/6/2007 2:01:26 AM   
Terminus


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From: Denmark
Status: offline 		Amaretto... The things a man will put in his mouth for the chance to put something else in his mouth later...

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Post #: 1546
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/6/2007 4:06:03 PM   
BrucePowers


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Status: offline 		Ummm, yeah

(in reply to Terminus)
Post #: 1547
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/7/2007 5:34:24 AM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline 		As far as chick drinks go, I prefer Cahlua and milk myself. But whatever gets you to your goal, good sir, is fair game.

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Post #: 1548
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/7/2007 10:05:17 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
Status: offline 		I hope Cyclone Narinder isn't as tough on the 10th AF as Cyclone Stalker-Girl was on me.

Holy H-E-Double hockeysticks! 1:00 PM Friday to 10:00 AM Sunday..just got rid of her. Of course, that would be the expected MO of a stalker....I am still hoarse from the half-aspirated piece of chile peppper in the Thai food Friday night and now I have to work 5 hrs this afternoon. Must...have...coffee.

I had to remind myself it is important to not show weakness in the face of the enemy.....although she had to admit some soreness of her hip adductor muscles

PS...the Amoretto is at 650ml/750ml (87% TO&E). Anyone have any ideas what to do with it?

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Post #: 1549
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/7/2007 10:23:59 PM   
Cap Mandrake


Posts: 23184
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From: Southern California
Status: offline 		**********Aboard USS Sargo, 310 nm W of Akyab, Bay of Bengal, 05:50, Oct. 1, 1942*************


<She is running on the surface as the Eastern sky lightens noticeably, a fact which gives her Captain pause given the proximity to Andaman Is and to Rangoon with their many dozens of search planes and bombers. On the other hand, he has his orders.>

Lt. Commander Jacobs, ship's Captain: <he stands on the sail, binoculars in hand. He lowers his head to call down orders>
Wind 25 kts from SSE..heavy thunderstorms to our North..substantial clearing to South and SE...SEND IT! PREPARE TO DIVE!



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RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/7/2007 10:29:28 PM   
rtrapasso


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

PS...the Amoretto is at 650ml/750ml (87% TO&E). Anyone have any ideas what to do with it?


i hear it's good on ice cream... and probably pretty good in coffee, although i've not tried it. But, don't put it in coffee if you intend to use it to stay awake.

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Post #: 1551
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/7/2007 11:12:45 PM   
Terminus


Posts: 41459
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Status: offline 		Encase it in concrete and dump it at sea... The devil's brew must be purged!

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Post #: 1552
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/7/2007 11:36:19 PM   
BrucePowers


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I hope Cyclone Narinder isn't as tough on the 10th AF as Cyclone Stalker-Girl was on me.

Holy H-E-Double hockeysticks! 1:00 PM Friday to 10:00 AM Sunday..just got rid of her. Of course, that would be the expected MO of a stalker....I am still hoarse from the half-aspirated piece of chile peppper in the Thai food Friday night and now I have to work 5 hrs this afternoon. Must...have...coffee.

I had to remind myself it is important to not show weakness in the face of the enemy.....although she had to admit some soreness of her hip adductor muscles

PS...the Amoretto is at 650ml/750ml (87% TO&E). Anyone have any ideas what to do with it?


Can you use it to fuel something. I used to have this real steam engine. My brother still has it. Maybe I could use it in the bunson burner

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Post #: 1553
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/7/2007 11:44:22 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Terminus

Encase it in concrete and dump it at sea... The devil's brew must be purged!


Your zeal to rid the world of Amaretto goes beyond mere "irrational exuberance" into the obsessive realm.

I am thinking some type of experience in your past that involved inappropriate quantities of Amoretto followed by a prolonged worshipping at the foot of the porcelain throne.


< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 10/7/2007 11:47:22 PM >

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Post #: 1554
Editor's Note - 10/8/2007 1:35:27 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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Status: offline 		Editor's Note: A number of readers have expressed concern about one contribitor's comments (Grp. Captain Mandrake) in regard to the establishement of carnal relationships with women 16 years younger than onseself. It was correctly pointed out that, if the reader is younger than 34, the application of this advice may, in fact, be illegal in 42 states in the US. This is confirmed by our law firm D,C & H. We therefore urge readers younger than 34 years of age to disregard this advice. Thank You.

Gen Marshall


Liner Note: I have just about had it with this Mandrake clown. I would like to add an agenda item for the next Board meeting to expunge him from the......


Forget that! Off to the cornfield with you, Gen. Marshall!!! <Mandrake grins wickedly>



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Post #: 1555
The Cornfield - 10/8/2007 3:14:14 AM   
Cap Mandrake


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Attachment (1)

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RE: The Cornfield - 10/8/2007 5:48:21 PM   
rtrapasso


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

..





Oh my!!

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Post #: 1557
RE: The Cornfield - 10/8/2007 8:23:12 PM   
bobogoboom


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Status: offline 		Amoretto should always be keep on hand at ones house the ladies are especialy fond of it plus you can make an Amoretto sour no matter how intoxicated you are..... but don't get cheap Amoretto it's just entirely to sweet

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Post #: 1558
RE: The Cornfield - 10/8/2007 9:22:04 PM   
Cap Mandrake


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quote:

ORIGINAL: bobogoboom

Amoretto should always be keep on hand at ones house the ladies are especialy fond of it plus you can make an Amoretto sour no matter how intoxicated you are..... but don't get cheap Amoretto it's just entirely to sweet


Now see..this is what I mean. This guy sounds like he knows what he is talking about. One musn't discard the entire series of Bofor's guns just because the barrels look goofy. One must be flexible in one's armamentarium.

I got the "diSorrano" with the cool bottle.

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Post #: 1559
RE: Cyclone Narinder - 10/8/2007 9:33:13 PM   
tsimmonds


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

PS...the Amoretto is at 650ml/750ml (87% TO&E). Anyone have any ideas what to do with it?

Put it in iced tea.

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Post #: 1560
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