Terminus
Posts: 41459
Joined: 4/23/2005 From: Denmark Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake ***************10th Air Force HQ, Dacca, October 1, 1942************ Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF:....the continued low pressure area in the Northern Bay of Bengal combined with a colder air mass undergoing adiabatic cooling upon descent from the central Himalayas continues to promote cyclonic action in the Northern Bay of... Gen. Chennault: OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! CUT THE CRAP! I COULDN'T GIVE A **** ABOUT COLD AIR MASSES, WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS IT GOING TO RAIN OR ISN'T IT? Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: <eyes dart furtively from side to side, his weight shifts nervously from foot to foot> Erm..yes sir. It is going to rain, heavily. Gen. Chennault: OK. Now we are getting somewhere. WHEN is it going to rain son? Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: <a look of abject terror descends over his face> Sir...I don't know sir. Gen. Chennault: OH GREAT! THAT'S JUST ****ING GREAT! CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY WE ARE HAVING THIS ****ING MEETING THEN? <scans the room> Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: <swallows audibly> Sir, it is a matter of adequate weather stations over the central Bay of Bengal. Gen. Chennault: And that is my concern, how? Look, I have a war to run. The poor bastards hacking their way down that stinking jungle trail need our help and I propose to give it to them. There is a fresh Jap division sitting on the rail line from Mandalay probably enjoying warm sake while we sit around in a group jerk-off talking about "cyclonic ativity". How about those islands there? Don't we have some coastwatchers or something? Can't they give us a Goddmaned weather report? Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: Sir, those are the Maldives. Gen. Chennault: Captain, pretend I don't know about the Maldives. Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: Well, sir. It seems they have...well... Gen. Chennault: MARY MOTHER OF GOD, CAPTAIN! JSUT TELL ME ABOUT THE GODDMANED MALDIVES! Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: Well, sir, it seems the Royal Navy says they are gone. Gen. Chennault: <Pinches nose hard, one can see his jaw muscles grinding his molars into dust, after some time an aura of calm seems to overtake him and a beautific smile comes over his face... he speaks> Captain. Would you be so kind as to tell me when the storm season is liekly to be at its worst around here. Chief Meteorologist, 10th AF: <clearly relieved to have a question appropriately framed in probabalistic terms> Yes, sir. The Monsoonal season is bimodal, a second peak is historically noted in November..... Reminds me of the old Splunge sketch from Monty Python...
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