Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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*********Aboard HMS Formidable, 18:40, December 8, 1942, 6 mi astern of Cpt. La Bisset's Task Force 1178********** On the bridge, a man in a Royal Navy Captain's uniform and possesing a striking physical similarity to Cpt. La Bisset hums a tune. Perhaps the only distinction is a slightly more sandy color to his hair. He too is ebulliant. The other officers and men on the bridge are not so ebulliant as they have endured 90 minutes of endless, banal prattle from the Captain. He breaks out into song, "Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me...you TART." He laughs uproariously at his own "joke" and looks about to see if others think it funny too. It is quite apparent they don't. Many, in fact have deeply furrowed brows and secretly wish for a type 93 torpedo to slam into the side of the ship to end their misery. "Look guys", somebody take over. "I've a compelling need to launch a type 93". He again laughs much to hard. Brows furrow more deeply. He walks briskly toward his cabin. He turns a corner and is confronted by another man in Cptain's uniform who could be his twin, save for a slightly sandier hue to his hair. The other man has his jacket open and his right hand tucked into his left armpit. The other man shouts, "WATCH!" With great effort, he pumps his left arm up and down, producing a series of flatulent sounds of varying pitch that vaguely resemble the first 5 or 6 notes of Beethoven's Ode to Joy. He beams improbably with his accomplishment. "I think you mean 'listen'", answers the less sandy-haired man, "but that was quite good." "Our mother would be proud", he adds. Astonished at his own wit, he again laughs hard, this time his face turns very red. This only ends when an impending intestinal emergency forces its way into this consciousness. He walks awkwardly toward the cabin and calls back, "Hey take over, I need to pinch a loaf".
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 2/29/2008 5:44:10 PM >
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