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All Forums >> [Current Games From Matrix.] >> [World War II] >> War In The Pacific - Struggle Against Japan 1941 - 1945 >> After Action Reports >> RE: 90th BS (M)

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RE: 90th BS (M) - 11/12/2008 6:52:08 PM

BrucePowers

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Ipecac anyone? (Editor's note from the peanut gallery....don't blame me for the spelling of Ipecac. You are the doctor, you spell it. I am just an engineer.

)

PS I couldn't find the word in the dictionary either

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 2671

RE: 90th BS (M) - 11/12/2008 7:16:41 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Ipecac anyone? (Editor's note from the peanut gallery....don't blame me for the spelling of Ipecac. You are the doctor, you spell it. I am just an engineer.)

PS I couldn't find the word in the dictionary either

You would have to ask the sargeant but I suspect it is too late for Ipecac

Someone will have to devise a "more energetic remedy".

(in reply to BrucePowers)

Post #: 2672

Photo shoot - 11/12/2008 7:52:05 PM

Cap Mandrake

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*********Taxiway, Batchelor Field, Darwin, 07;30, March 16, 1943(b)**********

<two B-25J's are getting their final top-offs and ammo load outs. The nose art on the lead plane consists of an attractive nude woman of decidedly non-Assyrian features. She hardly looks Armenian either. A bullet hole penetrates her ample bosom>

Yossarian: Milo, you crazy SOB. Are you sure we should be using live rounds? This seems kind of dangerous.

MM: Yossarian, you crazy, anxiety-ridden SOB. You need to trust me. Have I ever steered you wrong?

Yossarian: Well, now that you mention it, there was that time with the defective P-40 tire and.....

MM: Yossarian, your crazy, concrete-thinking SOB. That was a rhetorical question.

Yossarian: Oh.

MM: Now pay attention. We need to get there before they break for lunch.

Yossarian: Break for lunch?

MM: Did I say that? I meant before the light gets bad. Now, listen, Yossarian. Are you listening to me?

Yossarian: I'm listening. I'm listening. But I am wondering why there is no official USAAF photographer.

MM: It's a contract job, Yossarian. Try to stay with me. They want it done right. They hired M&M Productions. It's capitalism, Yossarian. That is what we are fighting for. We are fighting for a handshake and a job done well. Haven't we been over this before?

Yossarian: I guess so. It does sound familiar.

MM: Great, now remember, I want you to come in over the bay. Your target is the small building at the end of the point. The roof will have big letters that say "SAIHOA". Got that, Yossarian?

Yossarian: "SAIHOA"...got it. What does it mean?

MM: It's Japanese. Don't worry about it. Now listen, Yossarian, I want you down low as you come in over the bay. I want all the forward 50's firing. I want to see the rounds walking right up the bay toward the target. When you are about 400 yds out, the bombardier will pickle off the 250's and they will skip in. When he calls "bombs away", I want you to pull up and to the right hard. Got that Yossarian?

Yossarian: Down low...walk in rounds...pickle off....pull up. Yeah, I got it. But what about triple A? Those crazy SOB's will have a clear shot at us.

MM: Yossarian, you crazy, cautious, SOB, they aren't going to shoot at you, trust me.

Yossarian: They always do.

MM: Not this time.

Yossarian: What makes you so sure?

MM: They haven't the proper motivation. Look, I am going to be right behind you in the chase plane, filming. Do you thinking the PResident of M&M Enterprises would take such a risk.

Yossarian: Well.....

MM: Yossarian, think of the PR value! This will make great campaign material. Now get up there and for God's sake be careful about target selection, all the buildings look the same there. <Yossarian begins to climb the crew ladder. Milo walks back to the USAAF roundel on the fuselage which on close inspection is revealed to be a decal. He peels off the decal, revealing a freshly painted red meatball>

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 11/12/2008 8:15:50 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 2673

RE: Photo shoot - 11/13/2008 1:42:44 PM

FOW

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Me thinks that Mr J Intratubun is going to be in for a nasty surprise

- Col Irvine will be pleased

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Post #: 2674

RE: Photo shoot - 11/13/2008 6:03:18 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FOW

Me thinks that Mr J Intratubun is going to be in for a nasty surprise

********South Aru Island Home Owner's Association offices, South Aru, 10:20, march 16, 1943************

J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: ...did you see the look on the Colonel's face? "Swale? Swale"?....hahahahahaha <his compatriot, Mr Thackery laughs hard as well> I thought he was going to burst..hahahaha

Ms. Braun, Architectural Compliance Officer, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: <Looks nevously at her watch> Mr. Ingratubun, I am going to have to leave the meeting early. I have a homeowner in the Sienna Gardens development who has a bit too much ochre in his Tuscan Farmhouse trim color. I am going to lower the boom on the SOB. <she picks up a large handbag with a worn copy of the Bylaws and a large brown paper lunch bag. This is somewhat odd as she usually buys lunch from Mr. Ingatubun's cousin's roadside stand. Nobody notices>

J. Ingratubun, Chairman Architectural Committee, Southern Aru Island Homeowner's Association: OK, Eva, knock some heads.

<As she leaves the office she permits herself a glance seaward. Nothing>

(in reply to FOW)

Post #: 2675

The Aru Island Co-Prosperity Sphere - 11/13/2008 6:29:47 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Attachment (1)

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Post #: 2676

RE: The Aru Island Co-Prosperity Sphere - 11/13/2008 6:50:34 PM

rtrapasso

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Wot? Shouldn't the Brewsters be painted Tuscan Farmhouse?

EDIT: probably the beautiful blue and white is the colors the former owners had...

< Message edited by rtrapasso -- 11/13/2008 6:52:14 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 2677

RE: The Aru Island Co-Prosperity Sphere - 11/13/2008 7:03:45 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Wot? Shouldn't the Brewsters be painted Tuscan Farmhouse?

EDIT: probably the beautiful blue and white is the colors the former owners had...

Late war Finnish Buffalo with Evening Tuscan Farmhouse fuselage main color and Autumn Tuscan Squash tail stripe and cowling colors. It is a little known fact these choices were inspired by the small stable of Buffaloes of the SAAF.

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Post #: 2678

73% - 11/13/2008 7:18:37 PM

Cap Mandrake

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OK...this is kinda funny. When I opened the March 17 turn. The airfield construction progress on Aru jumped from 66% to 73% overnight

That is the most progress in one day...ever.

(in reply to BrucePowers)

Post #: 2679

RE: 73% - 11/15/2008 1:22:25 AM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...this is kinda funny. When I opened the March 17 turn. The airfield construction progress on Aru jumped from 66% to 73% overnight That is the most progress in one day...ever.

Looks like someone's been under-reporting their progress. But who would do such a thing? And perhaps more significantly, why? Hmmmm.......

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 2680

RE: 73% - 11/15/2008 3:57:24 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...this is kinda funny. When I opened the March 17 turn. The airfield construction progress on Aru jumped from 66% to 73% overnight That is the most progress in one day...ever.

Looks like someone's been under-reporting their progress. But who would do such a thing? And perhaps more significantly, why? Hmmmm.......

Wait..you don't mean Col. Irvine? I thought he was clean. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things? If Short finds out he is going to bust a gasket.

(in reply to Onime No Kyo)

Post #: 2681

With 251 Coy, Royal Engineers - 11/15/2008 4:29:58 PM

Cap Mandrake

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***********Burma Railway service road, 125 N of Mandalay, March 18, 1943*******

<A cloud of dust rises as 251 Coy moves forward in mounted column. Lt. Uppington-Smyth stands in the lead Bren carrier, googles on his face. As the vehicle approaches a Burmese rail service crew at work on the track, he raises his hand in an imperial fashion like Rommel at Tobruk. Sgt Bonebrake shakes his head in annoyance but stops anyway. The Lt. leans toward the rail crew>

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: I say there. Do you chaps know where the 7th Armoured pocket is?

Foreman: Pocket?

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Yes, yes. Where they are trapped I mean.

Foreman: Trapped?

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Yes, yes. Where they are surrounded by the Japs <he speaks more loudly and makes a patronizing circle with his hands>

Foreman: Japs? No Japs here.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Yes, yes. I can see that, my good man. That is the entire thrust of my line of questions. We were wondering if you could tell us ..WHERE...THE....JAPS....ARE. You see, we have come to relieve them.

Foreman: Relieve?

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Oh Dear God. <The Sgt. begins smirking>
Look, I'll make this simple. JAPS..WHERE? <he pantomimes shooting a gun and then stretches his face with his palms to make his eyes more narrow in what he imagines will be recognized as a universal sign of the Japanese race.>

Foreman: Not here. Try Mandalay.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Mandalay! SPLENDID! <He taps the Sgt. on the shoulder to proceed then taps him quickly again to stop. He turns again to the foreman> I say. Do.....you.....know.....the.....way.....to..Mandalay?

Foreman: 125 miles <he points Southward>

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Splendid. Thank..... you..... sir. <The column begins to move again>

Foreman: <The foreman turns to his crew and speaks in colloquial English> What a f****** a** h***! The dumb f*** couldn't relive himself if you unbuttoned his trousers for him. <crew laughs> I don't know who is worse, the f*******, arrogant, condescending Japs or the f*******, arrogant, condescending Brits. <He pauses as the crew starts to work again and looks upward in obvious thought. After a short while he begins to sing>

Do.....you.....know.....the.....Way.....to..Mandalay
Duh....duh...duh...duh.....duh..duh.....duh...duh..........

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 11/15/2008 4:30:47 PM >

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 2682

Everything but the B-52's - 11/15/2008 7:15:05 PM

Cap Mandrake

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*******Yunan Airfield, China, 06:50, March 16, 1943*********

The field is swarmed by USAAF aircraft. Many hundreds of C-47 sorties over a period of weeks have supplied the field with aviation gas and ammunition in preparation for the biggest raid since the start of Operation Splendid. For the first time in weeks all of Southeast Asia has passable flying weather. Today is a go. After last minute aborts due to mechaincal problems, some 60+ P-40E's and 40+ P-38's will sweep over Hanoi. Shortly afterward, more P-38's will sweep from Krung Thep as will some RAAF Beaufighters from Mandalay. Finally, in late morning, 71 USAAF heavies redployed to Moulemin with attack the airfields.

At the end of the day the approximate losses over Hanoi are:
..............A2A....Ground
Tony........19......2
Jack.........7.......2
Bombers...........11

P-38.......6......
P-40E.....13.....
Beauf......2......
B-17.......3......

The next day, Hanoi and Bangkok are emptied of aircraft. In terms of aircraft losses, this is nearly a draw but it does get the Allies closer to air supremacy over Siam.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 11/15/2008 7:18:21 PM >

(in reply to BrucePowers)

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Counterstroke - 11/15/2008 7:30:49 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Concurrent with the big raid over Hanoi, the Japs mount a raid of 26 Tonys and 6 Bettys from Hanoi. They attack shipping unloading at Moulmein but are shot up by the RAF and RAAF Spitfire and Boomerang II CAP, losing 15 aircraft to 9 for the RAF and damaging no ships.

Andaman is silent after the big attacks of the 14th.

7th Armoured crosses the Irrawaddy and is within 50 miles of Rangoon.

No Jap attacks on Rahaeng today.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

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RE: 73% - 11/16/2008 12:12:26 AM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...this is kinda funny. When I opened the March 17 turn. The airfield construction progress on Aru jumped from 66% to 73% overnight That is the most progress in one day...ever.

Looks like someone's been under-reporting their progress. But who would do such a thing? And perhaps more significantly, why? Hmmmm.......

Wait..you don't mean Col. Irvine? I thought he was clean. Why doesn't anyone tell me these things? If Short finds out he is going to bust a gasket.

"I no nathink....."

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

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RE: With 251 Coy, Royal Engineers - 11/16/2008 12:14:36 AM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

googles on his face

I'm sort of startled that T missed that one.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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RE: With 251 Coy, Royal Engineers - 11/16/2008 1:38:37 AM

BrucePowers

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He is probably using the internet to figure out where he is going.

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RE: With 251 Coy, Royal Engineers - 11/16/2008 4:32:12 PM

rtrapasso

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

googles on his face

I'm sort of startled that T missed that one.

Rare photo of Lt. Uppington-Smyth standing outside his Bren carrier... startling as his garb might seen, it was practical in the "hills" (actually, sizeable mountains) in Burma, with snow being reported as late as April during the Kohima campaign... the subject of his tatoos is a matter of conjecture but it might have had to do with a serious drunken bet made with a dyslexic (or poorly spelling) mathematician in the supply corps (1 googol = 10^100)

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by rtrapasso -- 11/16/2008 4:35:00 PM >

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RE: With 251 Coy, Royal Engineers - 11/16/2008 5:12:44 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Rare photo of Lt. Uppington-Smyth standing outside his Bren carrier... startling as his garb might seen, it was practical in the "hills" (actually, sizeable mountains) in Burma, with snow being reported as late as April during the Kohima campaign... the subject of his tatoos is a matter of conjecture but it might have had to do with a serious drunken bet made with a dyslexic (or poorly spelling) mathematician in the supply corps (1 googol = 10^100)

Wow...he is really making good "eye contact" considering his affliction. I am most pleased. Pity about the tattoo. Laser removal won't be invented for 50 years. Still, if he is able to reproduce, it will make a good story at family gatherings.

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Spreading the wealth around - 11/16/2008 5:43:45 PM

Cap Mandrake

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*********Slit Trench #3, Batchelor Field, near Darwin, 01:10, March 19, 1943********

A tall, hirsute man crouches in a Slit Trench #3, the officer's slit trench for 90th BS(M), USAAF. Technically, he would be tall if he stood up, but right now I guess you would say he is short because he is crouching. From time to time, in patches of open sky, one can catch a glimpse of a Betty bomber high overhead. There are flashes all aound the horizon. It looks like the fighter field 3 miles North is getting it the hardest but there are many bombs dropped on Batchelor too. In fact, to the hirsute man, it seems they are all aimed at him. A young man with a fine silk Hawaiian shirt and beautiful white linen pants jumps into the trench next to the hirsute man, tearing a large hole in his shirt and ruining his trousers.

Young man with a fine silk Hawaiian shirt and beautiful white linen pants: God damnit!

Tall, hirsute man:<grabs the other felow> Milo, those crazy sons of bitches are trying to kill me!

Young man with a fine silk Hawaiian shirt and beautiful white linen pants: Yeah? Well let me tell you something Yossarain, you crazy son of a bitch, those crazy sons of bitches are trying to kill me too. Look what they did to my duds!

Tall, hirsute man: You mean you had nothing to do with this?

Young man with a fine silk Hawaiian shirt and beautiful white linen pants: Hell no, Yossarian, you crazy SOB. Look at my beautiful white linen pants. Do you think I would be stupid enough to wear white pants if I knew I was going to be jumping into a slit trench?

Tall, hirsute man: <a string of bombs lands close shaking dust out of the walls of the slit trench. Both men crouch further and wince> Milo, you crazy SOB, this is the officer's slit trench. You could get in big trouble.

Young man with a fine silk Hawaiian shirt and beautiful white linen pants: Yossarian, you crazy, regulation-imprinted SOB, I am running for God damned President. Do you think they will really care.

<a third man jumps into the trench, his arm bloodied by a spent piece of shrapnel. The crouching, hirsute man grabs a first aid kid and opens it to help. It is empty save a slip of paper>

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 11/16/2008 5:47:33 PM >

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RE: Spreading the wealth around - 11/16/2008 5:54:18 PM

Cap Mandrake

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That brings back a painful memory. My Mayan housekeeper washed my beautful white linen pants in hot water. Now they are beautiful white linen coolots.

It was a shame. Those things were chic magnets. She washed a pair of wool trousers too. Uggh. Now I hide the stuff that needs to be dry cleaned.

I don't think the Mayans had dry cleaning.

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RE: Spreading the wealth around - 11/16/2008 11:47:27 PM

BrucePowers

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Wait a minute. If stalker girl is still around what do you need chic magnet pants for?

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2nd Black Watch - 11/16/2008 11:51:31 PM

Cap Mandrake

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****Positions of 2nd Black Watch/14th Chindit Brigade, right wing of Commonwealth positions on the Salween, 25 miles NE of Rahaeng, 06:15, March 18, 1943****

Sgt. Meriwether is on alert, there is no commercial traffic on the river yet this morning. It is odd to see the broad expanse of the river bereft of human activity. Intelligence estimates at least 100,000 enemy troops massing on the other side of the river. He calls out to a soldier, "Thomas, go down the line and make sure the lads are all awake." As the runner disappears down the line the first low-lying black shapes appears out of the mist. Within a few seconds there are a dozen, then four dozen, canvas assault boats paddled silently. "The mortar platoon may fire at will. Hold the Bren gun fire untill they are 200 yds off."

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Post #: 2693

RE: Spreading the wealth around - 11/16/2008 11:53:50 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Wait a minute. If stalker girl is still around what do you need chic magnet pants for?

Nostalgia. Not that it ever worked, but I imagined an invisible magnetic field.

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RE: With 251 Coy, Royal Engineers - 11/17/2008 12:07:21 AM

rtrapasso

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quote:

Wow...he is really making good "eye contact" considering his affliction. I am most pleased. Pity about the tattoo. Laser removal won't be invented for 50 years. Still, if he is able to reproduce, it will make a good story at family gatherings.

Perhaps M&M Industries, Beauty Supply Division can interest him in some good makeup... a beard could partially cover some of it up once he left the service.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

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RE: With 251 Coy, Royal Engineers - 11/17/2008 12:11:05 AM

BrucePowers

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Would not good theatrical makeup cover that?

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Post #: 2696

A sense of purpose - 11/18/2008 6:25:18 PM

Cap Mandrake

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*******Briefing Room, No. 27 Night Fighter Squadron, RAF, March 19, 1943, Diamond Harbor, India**********

Squadron Leader Fowler: <He paces back and forth in the front of the briefing room, impatiently waiting for the last pilot to be seated. When the last man is seated he speaks up> MEN! I have some important news, but first I have a few questions. Flt. Lt. Gardner, how many missions have you in the Beaufighter VIF?

Flt. Lt. Gardner: 71 sir! <Stands and answers proudly>

Squadron Leader Fowler: And how many kills have you?

Flt. Lt. Gardner: <Shrinks visibly> None, sir.

Squadron Leader Fowler: And how many enemy aircraft have you encountered?

Flt. Lt. Gardner: None sir.

Squadron Leader Fowler: Precisely! You can stand tall, son. You have done what your nation has asked of you. What if I were to tell you that this is about to change. <Tension visibly rises in the room as he pauses> Flt. Lt. Gardner, Flt. Lt. Trayhorn...ALL OF YOU...YOU'RE GOING TO AUSTRALIA! THE JAPS BOMBED DARWIN AFTER THE SUN WENT DOWN!

Officers in room: HUZZAH! HUZZAH! HUZZAH! .....<Indian servant preparing tea and biscuits begins to giggle uncontrollably>

Attachment (1)

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RE: A sense of purpose - 11/19/2008 1:49:45 AM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*******Briefing Room, No. 27 Night Fighter Squadron, RAF, March 19, 1943, Diamond Harbor, India**********

Squadron Leader Fowler: <He paces back and forth in the front of the briefing room, impatiently waiting for the last pilot to be seated. When the last man is seated he speaks up> MEN! I have some important news, but first I have a few questions. Flt. Lt. Gardner, how many missions have you in the Beaufighter VIF?

Flt. Lt. Gardner: 71 sir! <Stands and answers proudly>

Squadron Leader Fowler: And how many kills have you?

Flt. Lt. Gardner: <Shrinks visibly> None, sir.

Squadron Leader Fowler: And how many enemy aircraft have you encountered?

Flt. Lt. Gardner: None sir.

Squadron Leader Fowler: Precisely! You can stand tall, son. You have done what your nation has asked of you. What if I were to tell you that this is about to change. <Tension visibly rises in the room as he pauses> Flt. Lt. Gardner, Flt. Lt. Trayhorn...ALL OF YOU...YOU'RE GOING TO AUSTRALIA! THE JAPS BOMBED DARWIN AFTER THE SUN WENT DOWN!

Officers in room: HUZZAH! HUZZAH! HUZZAH! .....<Indian servant preparing tea and biscuits begins to giggle uncontrollably>

The Lt. will be sternly reprimanded, I'm sure. He's only flown 65 missions.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 2698

RE: A sense of purpose - 11/19/2008 7:28:16 AM

bradfordkay

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He's a pilot. He supposed to exaggerate...

_____________________________

fair winds,
Brad

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CDS or RE - 11/19/2008 7:46:10 PM

Cap Mandrake

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***********Aboard HMS Empire Zanzibar, 125 mi. WSW of Diamond Harbour, March 20, 1943(b)***************

A half dozen young officers of No. 27 Sqdrn queue up outside a small stateroom. The door is ajar. Inside a young Flt. Lt. stands at a desk while a man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves works on a ledger in front of him>

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: <without looking up> Credit Default Swaps or Resume Enhancment?

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: Resume Enhancement, please.

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: Right, that is $25 US per mission, $1,000 for a victory.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: One thousand dollars? I haven't that in US currency, willl you take Pound notes?

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: The Bank of England? Are you kidding me? I'd sooner take Reichmarks. You haven't seen the terms of the Lend Lease. I have. When this is over the Chancellor of the Exchecker will be printing notes faster than the Times of London. It's non-negotiable. Dollars, Swiss Francs or Philippino gold.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: But, 1000 seems a bit high to me, sir.

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: We can't have everyone claiming they are a fighter ace now, can we? It's the scarcity, son. The color of scarcity is green and it has pictures of dead Presidents on it. That is what we are fighting for.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: We?

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: Ah, yes, that? It's the flat feet you know. 4F.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: But sir, I've just written a letter to my sweetheart describing my first air victory.

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: Look, you will just have to do it over. I suggest you destroy the old one too.....but don't tell anyone I told you that.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: Oh, very well. I'll take 15 missions then. <begins to open his wallet>

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: Fifteen?? How long have you been with the squadron, son?

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: Ummmm, let me see.....today makes 8.

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: Weeks?

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: No, days sir.

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: Look, Flt. Lt., don't you think that would strain credulity? How about this. I'll sell you 5 today and the other ten when we get to Australia.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: Very well then. <hands over his money and the man in the eyesahdes makes a mark in the ledger>

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: Great. Whitehall should have this in about 2 weeks. Come back and see us before we disembark.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: I will do that sir. <puts on cap and begins to leave>

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: Oh, Hazard. We should talk about a pre-nup.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: "Pre-nup", sir?

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: Yes, pre-nuptual agreement. It is a sound strategy when there is a large disparity in wealth between future spouses. One can't be too careful.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: Oh, you mean my sweetheart, sir? How did you know?

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: There is a lot of that about, son...nuptuals I mean.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: Yes sir, but I am not a man of great means.

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: NOW, perhaps. Wait till prospective employers see your resume. Good as gold, son, good as Philippino gold.

Flt. Lt. Oliver Hazard, RAF: <now beaming> THANK YOU SIR! I will do what you suggest. <turns to leave again>

Man in green eyeshades and rolled up sleeves: Great, Hazard! Don't forget to destroy the first draft of that letter. Document shredding is 25c a page. <as the Flt. Lt leaves, a sign can be seen on the door. It reads "Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, LLC, New York, Boston, Los Angeles, Rome, Tokyo". Underneath the words "Bay of Bengal" are scribbled in wax pencil.

NEXT!

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 11/19/2008 7:52:56 PM >

(in reply to bradfordkay)

Post #: 2700

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