Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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********Presidential Daily Briefing, White House, March 24, 1943****** Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: Mr. President, it is General Marshall and Admiral King here for your PDB. Tall, patrician-looking guy: PDB? Shouldn't the doctor do that? By the way, find me a doctor with smaller fingers next time. That last guy was a gorilla and I don't mean the kind that lives in the jungle and ambushes the Japs, either. Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: Oh..no sir, PDB means Presidential Daily Briefing. Tall, patrician-looking guy:Oh, why didn't you say so? And how many times do I have to tell you people to stop using those abbreviation things....what do you call them? Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: Acronyms sir? Tall, patrician-looking guy: Yeah that's it..acronyms. Take a memo...no Presidential Directive...what am I up to? Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: 10124, Mr. President. Tall, patrician-looking guy: Good...I....blah, blah, blah..do hereby order that everybody..and that includes the Army, the Navy, those guys in Congress..blah, blah, blah..everybody, just put in the usual stuff..I hereby order that they stop forthwith...blah, blah, blah...all use of those abbreviation thingys..signed..balh, blah, blah. Just dress it up and get it back to me later today, OK? Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: Yes, sir, Mr. President. And what about the Admiral and the General, sir? Tall, patrician-looking guy: Oh, send them in...and Ms. Goodhead, what are you wearing today? Secretary with ample bosom over intercom: <lowers her voice> Why it's that cashmere sweater you bought me for Christmas, Mr. President. Tall, patrician-looking guy: With brasierre or without? Secretary with ample bosom over intercom:Without, sir. Tall, patrician-looking guy: SPLENDID!..Oh...and Ms. Goodhead, get one of those Philippino guys in the kitchen to move a couple of hams out of the walk-in fridge, I'll meet you there in 30 minutes. Secretary with ample bosom over intercom:Yes, Mr. President. I'll send in the General and the Admiral now. <Admiral King and General Marshall enter the room. They are embarrased to find him with his shirt partly open and one hand in his armpit. The tall, patricain-looking guy metions them in>> Tall, patrician-looking guy:No, no, come in guys. Watch this. <he begins to pump his arm up and down while repositioning his opposite hand in the inviting resonant space. His face contorts wildy with the effort. A faintly familiar "melody" is heard by all> What do you think, guys. It was Batch. General Marshall: Don't you mean Bakh, Mr. President? Tall, patrician-looking guy:Never heard of him, General. General Marshall: No sir, I mean it's pronounced Bakh Tall, patrician-looking guy: Well, it looks like Batch to me. Why doesn't he just spell it with a "k" or something. I hate silly names. General Marshall: He was German, sir. Tall, patrician-looking guy: A Kraut? I hate Krauts. Why didn't somebody tell me? I don't want to hear any more Kraut music in the White House, is that clear? Admiral King: Yes sir. No Kraut music sir. Sir, we do have an important bit of information this morning. I thought we might start with that. It seems Japanese radio traffic strongly suggests a coup d'etat in the Japanese high command. Tall, patrician-looking guy: A what? Admiral King: A coup d'etat, sir. Tall, patrician-looking guy: A what? Admiral King:<shows the other man the written briefing> One of these sir. Tall, patrician-looking guy: Oh, a coop dee eetaht. Jeez, can't you guys speak English?.....
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 12/2/2008 5:15:36 PM >
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