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"If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it." - 11/4/2006 9:52:59 PM   
Ron Saueracker


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and other gems...

Military Truisms

• Aim towards the Enemy --instruction printed on US rocket launcher.
• Cluster bombing is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
• Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
• Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
• If your attack is going too well, you are walking into an ambush.
• If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.
• Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
• No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
• Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once.
• If the enemy is in range, so are you.
• Tracers work both ways.
• Friendly fire isn't.
• Five second fuses only last three seconds.
• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
• The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
• Incoming fire has the right of way.
• Clothing stores have only two sizes: too large and too small.
• If you can see the enemy, he can see you.
• And never tell your Boss you have nothing to do.


< Message edited by Ron Saueracker -- 11/4/2006 9:57:13 PM >


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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/4/2006 10:11:07 PM   
Ron Saueracker


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Some good natured anti grunt stuff...

-Why walk when you can drive?
-Role of the Infantry...to catch artillery rounds.

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/4/2006 10:41:45 PM   
mc3744


Posts: 1957
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Nec recisa recedit

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/4/2006 10:58:27 PM   
Ron Saueracker


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Anyone remember any from their service?

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/4/2006 11:55:56 PM   
JJB647


Posts: 62
Joined: 12/6/2001
From: Illinois
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The 5 most dangerous things in the navy are....

A Seaman saying, "I learned this in Boot Camp..."
A Petty Officer saying, "Trust me, sir..."
A Lieutenant JG saying, "Based on my experience..."
A Lieutenant saying, "I was just thinking..."
A Chief chuckling, "Watch this s***..."

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 12:05:01 AM   
Rob Brennan UK


Posts: 3685
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sorry for the spelling . English is my main language , I just can't type . and i'm too lazy to edit :)

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 12:06:11 AM   
ny59giants


Posts: 9869
Joined: 1/10/2005
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N - Never
A - Again
V - Volunteer
Y - Yourself



The Marines are looking for a FEW good men....and their still looking.


U.S.Navy 1976 -1983 as an Electronics Technician

< Message edited by ny59giants -- 11/5/2006 12:11:44 AM >


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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 12:16:24 AM   
Dixie


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Joined: 3/10/2006
From: UK
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This made me chuckle the other day at work. The definition of RAF ranks

AN AIR OFFICER.

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a locomotive,
Is faster than a speeding bullet,
Walks on water, gives policy to GOD.

A Group Captain
Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
Is more powerful than a bulldozer,
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
Walks on water if the sea is calm,

A WING COMMANDER.

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable wind,
Is almost as powerful as a bulldozer,
Is faster than a speeding .22 slug,
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool,
Talks with GOD if special request is approved.

A SQUADRON LEADER.

Barely clears Nissen Huts,
Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive,
Can fire a speeding bullet,
Swims well,
Is occasionally addressed by GOD.

A FLIGHT LIEUTENANT.

Makes high scratch marks when trying to leap short buildings,
Is run over by locomotives,
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury,
Dog paddles,
Talks to animals.

A FLYING OFFICER.

Runs into buildings,
Recognises a locomotive two out of three times,
Has a gun but is not issued with ammunition,
Can stay afloat with proper instruction,
Talks to walls.

A PILOT OFFICER.

Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings,
Says “Look at the Choo Choo”,
Is not issued with a gun,
Plays in mud puddles,
Mumbles to himself.

A NON COMMISSIONED OFFICER.

Lifts buildings and walks under them,
Kicks locomotives off the track,
Catches speeding bullets between teeth and eats them,
Freezes water with a single glance,
He is GOD.

AN AIRMAN.

Sweeps under buildings,
Puts locomotive back on track,
Picks up spent cartridges after speeding bullets have been fired,
Carries the water to be frozen,
He is the Son of GOD.


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Bigger boys stole my sig

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 12:20:13 AM   
Ron Saueracker


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Some of this stuff is ageless!

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 1:44:06 AM   
scott64


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Ron Saueracker

and other gems...

Military Truisms

• Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once.




Hey thats my line






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Any ship can be a minesweeper..once !! :)

http://suspenseandmystery.blogspot.com/

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 2:53:12 AM   
Graycompany


Posts: 511
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the 7'P's

Proper Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance



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I thought this place was a empire, now im the last, I can't be sure...


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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 2:53:56 AM   
Graycompany


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ohh, and never get involved in a land war in Asia.

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I thought this place was a empire, now im the last, I can't be sure...


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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 3:21:31 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Graycompany

ohh, and never get involved in a land war in Asia.


Sun Tzu, right?

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 3:22:04 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Dixie
This made me chuckle the other day at work. The definition of RAF ranks


Hey....you Brits stole that from us!

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Post #: 14
RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 3:23:34 AM   
niceguy2005


Posts: 12523
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Very good Dixie.

Seems like I've seena US version before.

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Artwork graciously provided by Dixie

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 3:28:45 AM   
Onime No Kyo


Posts: 16842
Joined: 4/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ny59giants

N - Never
A - Again
V - Volunteer
Y - Yourself



The Marines are looking for a FEW good men....and their still looking.


U.S.Navy 1976 -1983 as an Electronics Technician


Uncle
Sam's
Misguided
Children

My
Ass
Rides
In
Navy
Equipment

A good one from days way before mine....

Stupid
Troopers
Running
Around
[in]
Circles

If it crunches, its infantry. If it shoots back its a tank. (I think I may have forgotten a line...oh well)

And my personal favorite....

If you aint Cav...you aint s***!


< Message edited by Onime No Kyo -- 11/5/2006 3:31:27 AM >


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"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 3:31:42 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: niceguy2005

Very good Dixie.

Seems like I've seena US version before.


Yeah, there was a US version. I forget how it went but there was one part about how 2nd Lts can hurt themselves with a water pistol and how a SSgt's farts shake the heavens.

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"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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Post #: 17
RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 3:38:50 AM   
ChezDaJez


Posts: 3436
Joined: 11/12/2004
From: Chehalis, WA
Status: offline
Never piss from the pointy end while underweigh...

There are old pilots and there are bold pilots... but there are no old, bold pilots.

This plane has more downing gripes than the USS Arizona...

A good landing is any you walk away from.

If altitude and airspeed = 0, you've either landed or crashed. Sometimes its hard to tell the difference.

The three best things in life are a good landing, a good orgasm, and a good crap. A night carrier landing is one of the few opportunities to experience all three at the same time.

Things which do you no good in aviation:
Altitude above you.
Runway behind you.
Fuel in the truck.
A navigator.
Half a second ago.
Approach plates in the car.
The airspeed you don't have.

It is far better to arrive late in this world than early in the next.

Chez

_____________________________

Ret Navy AWCS (1972-1998)
VP-5, Jacksonville, Fl 1973-78
ASW Ops Center, Rota, Spain 1978-81
VP-40, Mt View, Ca 1981-87
Patrol Wing 10, Mt View, CA 1987-90
ASW Ops Center, Adak, Ak 1990-92
NRD Seattle 1992-96
VP-46, Whidbey Isl, Wa 1996-98

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Post #: 18
RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 4:32:29 AM   
Onime No Kyo


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Come to think of it, I always thought the saying in the title was "If it moves salute it....

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 4:39:12 AM   
Titanwarrior89


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"If there is to much coincidence. there probley is" Something to live by tactically in the field.

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"Before Guadalcanal the enemy advanced at his pleasure. After Guadalcanal, he retreated at ours".

"Mama, There's Rabbits in the Garden"

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 4:49:31 AM   
Ron Saueracker


Posts: 12121
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Come to think of it, I always thought the saying in the title was "If it moves salute it....

That's another version...peacetime. Just as good!


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Post #: 21
RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 4:54:07 AM   
Ron Saueracker


Posts: 12121
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Got any good DS lines? Like...

" You got a cat puke?"

"No SGT!"

"Well, just WTF have you been humping? Fur all over your uniform!"

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Yammas from The Apo-Tiki Lounge. Future site of WITP AE benders! And then the s--t hit the fan

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 4:58:47 AM   
AU Tiger_MatrixForum


Posts: 1606
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From: Deepest Dixie
Status: offline
the Standard Answer to the first question people asked of us (nukes):

Q: How does nuclear power work?

A: PFM

(Pure F###ing Magic)


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Tho. Jackson

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 7:02:59 AM   
niceguy2005


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Come to think of it, I always thought the saying in the title was "If it moves salute it....

Gives you some idea how Ron's navy works.

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Artwork graciously provided by Dixie

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 7:53:19 AM   
RUPD3658


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I always loved: "Team work is essential. It gives the enemy someone else to shoot at"

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 8:33:33 AM   
Wallymanowar


Posts: 651
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From: Vernon, B.C., Canada
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Murphys laws for the Grunt

- If the enemy is in range, so are you.

- Incoming fire has the right of way.

- Automatic weapons . . . aren't.

- Suppressive fire . . . won't.

- Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.

- There is always a way. When in doubt, empty the magazine.

- Teamwork is essential. It gives them someone else to shoot at.

- No combat ready unit ever passed inspection. No inspection ready unit ever

passed combat.

- The easy way is always mined.

- Beer maths: two beers times 37 men equals 49 cases.

- Things that must be together to work usually can't be shipped together.

- Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.

- Tracers work both ways.

- Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.

- Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.

- The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:

(a) when you're ready for them and

(b) when you're not ready for them.

- If you can't remember, then the claymore is pointed at you.

- The important things are always simple. The simple things are always hard.

- The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.

- A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

- If your attack is going well, you have walked into an ambush.

- Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.

- Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.

- Make it tough enough for the enemy to get in and you won't be able to get out.

- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.

- All 5-second grenade fuses will burn out in 3.

- If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.

- When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.

- Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.

- If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your

fair share of objectives to take.

- When both sides are convinced that they are about to lose, they are both right.



- Murphy was a grunt.




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I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?
Yogi Berra

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Post #: 26
RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 12:54:24 PM   
Onime No Kyo


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quote:

ORIGINAL: niceguy2005


quote:

ORIGINAL: Onime No Kyo

Come to think of it, I always thought the saying in the title was "If it moves salute it....

Gives you some idea how Ron's navy works.


Canadian navy? Umm...no.

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RE: "If it moves, shoot it...if it don't, paint it... - 11/5/2006 2:33:38 PM   
BigJ62


Posts: 1800
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From: Alpharetta, Georgia
Status: offline
Most sayings we had involved the F word, more like every other word.

When I was in the service I was able to take a tour of a Canadian ship and to my surprise they actually had a bar onboard well suffice it to say it would have been very rude of me to turn down any offers of alcoholic beverages. If they had asked I would have signed up on the spot.

< Message edited by BigJ62 -- 11/5/2006 2:37:00 PM >


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AeAi…AeAi …AeAi…Long live AeAi.

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How Navy Weapon Systems are bought - 11/5/2006 4:00:04 PM   
siRkid


Posts: 6650
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From: Orland FL
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The Chief is given a new weapon system to try out and reports to the Ensign that it's a pile of Bull ****.
The Ensign reports to the Lieutenant that the new weapon system is manure.
The LT reports to the Commander that the new system is like fertilizer but has potential for growth.
The Commander reports to the Captain that the system is growing better all the time.
The Captain reports to the Admiral that the new weapon system has grown beyond all expectations and should be bought.
The Admiral buys the POS.


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Post #: 29
RE: How Navy Weapon Systems are bought - 11/5/2006 4:04:39 PM   
siRkid


Posts: 6650
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From: Orland FL
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When I was in the Navy, we were often sent to Air Force bases for RR when we were deployed overseas. We had a saying that the Air Force, when building a new base, built the Club, barracks and golf course first and would run out of money before building the runway. Congress would have to give them more money to complete the runway or the base would be useless. The Navy on the other hand would build the runway first and when they ran out of money for the club, barracks, and golf course we were told we could make do. 

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