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Simpleton Tip #14

 
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Simpleton Tip #14 - 4/29/2002 9:47:51 AM   
WhiteRook

 

Posts: 276
Joined: 4/9/2002
From: Minneapolis, MN
Status: offline 		Never stand in front of a Crocodile unless wearing Flame - Retard'ant Underwear! :eek:

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Post #: 31
Re: Simpleton Tip #12 - 4/29/2002 7:38:38 PM   
panda124c

 

Posts: 1692
Joined: 5/23/2000
From: Houston, TX, USA
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by Goblin
[B]If you want to destroy your enemy, do not place smoke between you and he before you fire.

Goblin- A Goblin is without thermal imaging

Hey?!? I'm stuck! I stepped in glue or something! I don't even know what I did.:confused: Sorry about the sticky, guys and gals, but I'm not sure whats up.

Goblin- A Goblin is epoxied [/B][/QUOTE]

A Goblin for a Goblin.

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Post #: 32
Re: Simpleton Tip #14 - 4/29/2002 8:42:22 PM   
Larry Holt

 

Posts: 1969
Joined: 3/31/2000
From: Atlanta, GA 30068
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by WhiteRook
[B]Never stand in front of a Crocodile unless wearing Flame - Retard'ant Underwear! :eek: [/B][/QUOTE]
Unless the croc is out of shots/ammo. Where you counting? To tell the truth in all the excitement I kind of lost track myself. So, you gotta ask yourself, "Do you feel lucky?"

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Post #: 33
Re: Re: Simpleton Tip #12 - 4/30/2002 3:03:29 AM   
Bernie


Posts: 1779
Joined: 3/15/2002
From: Depot HQ - Virginia
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by pbear
[B]

A Goblin for a Goblin. [/B][/QUOTE]

Hey! That's pretty good! He's gonna love it. :)

Tried making an avatar out of it for him but it loses too much detail. Just looks like a fat blob sitting on concrete...

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Post #: 34
Re: Re: Simpleton Tip #12 - 4/30/2002 3:46:50 AM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by pbear
[B]

A Goblin for a Goblin. [/B][/QUOTE]

That was pretty cool, pbear, thanks!:)

Goblin- A Goblin can dogfight

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Post #: 35
Simpleton Tip #15 - 4/30/2002 3:52:23 AM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		Never go to battle without clean undies on. You never know if a medic will see them or not.:( :)

Goblin- A Goblin is sanitary

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Post #: 36
Waste of time - 4/30/2002 3:56:07 AM   
mogami


Posts: 12789
Joined: 8/23/2000
From: You can't get here from there
Status: offline 		Hi, every one knows clean skivies are a waste of time. Cause once the fight starts its....first you say it and then you do it.

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Post #: 37
- 4/30/2002 4:16:04 AM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		:D

Goblin- A Goblin wears 'Depends'.

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Post #: 38
Simpleton Tip #16 - 4/30/2002 4:00:54 PM   
Bernie


Posts: 1779
Joined: 3/15/2002
From: Depot HQ - Virginia
Status: offline 		Pilots are busy people. Too busy to bother reading recognition cards. They operate by a very simple code then:

Tanks are bad. Kill the tanks.

If it moves on the ground and doesn't have legs, it's a tank.

If it does have legs, it might be a tank in disguise.

If it doesn't move it might be a tank playing possum.

Sometimes, very briefly, pilots think about [I]their[/I] tanks and [I]our[/I] tanks, but they've never seen one at the base so all tanks must then be [I]their[/I] tanks. Kill all the tanks.


With this in mind, think twice before you call in that strike element. Maybe even think about exiting all of your units from the map before calling that strike element. If you [I]have[/I] to call that strike element anyway, and you can't exit all your units off the map beforehand, issue orders for all your forces to assume their pre-arranged "strike element" positions. From the air those positions look like this:

[B][SIZE=4]ENEMY ---->[/SIZE][/B]

Hopefully the pilots will see this and not hit the "bomb" button while they try to take pictures of it before going to bomb some other poor friendly unit.

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Post #: 39
Re: Simpleton Tip #16 - 4/30/2002 6:54:12 PM   
panda124c

 

Posts: 1692
Joined: 5/23/2000
From: Houston, TX, USA
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by Bernie
[B]Pilots are busy people. Too busy to bother reading recognition cards. They operate by a very simple code then:

Tanks are bad. Kill the tanks.

If it moves on the ground and doesn't have legs, it's a tank.

If it does have legs, it might be a tank in disguise.

If it doesn't move it might be a tank playing possum.

Sometimes, very briefly, pilots think about [I]their[/I] tanks and [I]our[/I] tanks, but they've never seen one at the base so all tanks must then be [I]their[/I] tanks. Kill all the tanks.


With this in mind, think twice before you call in that strike element. Maybe even think about exiting all of your units from the map before calling that strike element. If you [I]have[/I] to call that strike element anyway, and you can't exit all your units off the map beforehand, issue orders for all your forces to assume their pre-arranged "strike element" positions. From the air those positions look like this:

[B][SIZE=4]ENEMY ---->[/SIZE][/B]

Hopefully the pilots will see this and not hit the "bomb" button while they try to take pictures of it before going to bomb some other poor friendly unit. [/B][/QUOTE]

You know it just not fair, our planes bomb the enemy’s tanks and our tanks and the enemy has all the advantages, he gets to shoot back. How about loosening up on the fire discipline and let my troops shoot back at my aircraft. You know, just to let them fly boys know they are doing me wrong. :D

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Post #: 40
Simpleton Tip #17 - 4/30/2002 9:25:20 PM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		Killing the enemy HQ is a good thing! Having your HQ killed is a bad thing. Protect you HQ, hunt his HQ.

Goblin- A Goblin collects shrunken heads:mad:

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Post #: 41
- 5/1/2002 1:52:35 AM   
Dan Bozza


Posts: 800
Joined: 3/28/2001
From: Mount Tabor NJ USA
Status: offline 		Buildings eat AFV's for breakfast, lunch and dinner. AFV's are drawn to buildings like a moth to a flame. Move 1 hex at a time when a building is near!

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Post #: 42
Buildings - 5/1/2002 5:51:25 AM   
mogami


Posts: 12789
Joined: 8/23/2000
From: You can't get here from there
Status: offline 		Buildings that have enemy units in them are really fun to drive into. Just make sure you have a big tank. Then your infantry can follow and clean up. (my last AI battle I drove through building all day without immoblizing a single tank)

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I'm not retreating, I'm attacking in a different direction!

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Post #: 43
- 5/1/2002 11:08:00 PM   
Capt Chris

 

Posts: 200
Joined: 2/4/2002
From: Rochester, NY
Status: offline 		Don't pee into the wind.

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Post #: 44
- 5/2/2002 12:00:20 AM   
Larry Holt

 

Posts: 1969
Joined: 3/31/2000
From: Atlanta, GA 30068
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by Dan Bozza
[B]Buildings eat AFV's for breakfast, lunch and dinner. AFV's are drawn to buildings like a moth to a flame. Move 1 hex at a time when a building is near! [/B][/QUOTE]
Since 7.1 AFVs are rarely immobilized. Try it, its fun!

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Post #: 45
Re: Buildings - 5/2/2002 12:59:47 AM   
panda124c

 

Posts: 1692
Joined: 5/23/2000
From: Houston, TX, USA
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by Mogami
[B]Buildings that have enemy units in them are really fun to drive into. Just make sure you have a big tank. Then your infantry can follow and clean up. (my last AI battle I drove through building all day without immoblizing a single tank) [/B][/QUOTE]

I like using those big 150mm guns for buildings, a lot easier on the tracks. :D

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Post #: 46
- 5/2/2002 3:29:10 AM   
Dan Bozza


Posts: 800
Joined: 3/28/2001
From: Mount Tabor NJ USA
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by Larry Holt
[B]
Since 7.1 AFVs are rarely immobilized. Try it, its fun! [/B][/QUOTE]

Sure, and Lucy will hold the football for Charlie Brown. You can't make me do it!! :D

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Post #: 47
Simpleton Tip #18 - 5/2/2002 4:28:56 AM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		You will hear a veteran soldier yell 'INCOMING!!' when the enemy begins to shell your position. That same soldier will yell 'SH#T, NOT AGAIN!!' when a friendly aircraft approaches.

Goblin- A Goblin avoids airports

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Post #: 48
Re: Simpleton Tip #18 - 5/2/2002 6:15:17 AM   
Bernie


Posts: 1779
Joined: 3/15/2002
From: Depot HQ - Virginia
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by Goblin
[B]You will hear a veteran soldier yell 'INCOMING!!' when the enemy begins to shell your position. That same soldier will yell 'SH#T, NOT AGAIN!!' when a friendly aircraft approaches.

Goblin- A Goblin avoids airports [/B][/QUOTE]

Also, when friendly artillery begins he will usually yell both.

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Post #: 49
Simpleton Tip #19 - 5/2/2002 6:28:52 AM   
Bernie


Posts: 1779
Joined: 3/15/2002
From: Depot HQ - Virginia
Status: offline 		As an infantry squad you have the option to ALT-M (melee). This does not work against tanks. You just break your knuckles.

As a tank, you have the option to ALT-O (overrun). This results in gun barrel swordfights. Occasionally, two tanks that have been gun barrel swordfighting will bend their barrels around each other in such a way that they can not seperate on thier own. Throwing napalm on them usually works to seperate them.

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Post #: 50
Re: Simpleton Tip #19 - 5/2/2002 6:36:38 AM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by Bernie
[B] Occasionally, two tanks that have been gun barrel swordfighting will bend their barrels around each other in such a way that they can not seperate on thier own. Throwing napalm on them usually works to seperate them. [/B][/QUOTE]

Leave the lovebirds be. I've seen elephants do the same thing on Discovery. He's not hurting her, Bernie.;) :)

Goblin- A Goblin weeps at chick-flicks

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Post #: 51
- 5/2/2002 6:53:01 AM   
rbrunsman


Posts: 1837
Joined: 1/31/2002
From: Phoenix, AZ
Status: offline 		Goblins are funny!

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Post #: 52
Combat advice - 5/2/2002 3:06:08 PM   
Stahlhelm

 

Posts: 16
Joined: 1/22/2002
From: Australia
Status: offline 		One of my favourites is
"Never share a foxhole with anyone who's braver than you are"

You guys are a riot

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Post #: 53
Simpleton Tip #20 - 5/3/2002 5:31:39 AM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		For you Scots-

Kilts and flame weapons: Not a good idea.

Goblin- A Goblin feels a breeze?

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Post #: 54
Re: Simpleton Tip #20 - 5/3/2002 7:36:04 AM   
Bernie


Posts: 1779
Joined: 3/15/2002
From: Depot HQ - Virginia
Status: offline 		[QUOTE]Originally posted by Goblin
[B]For you Scots-

Kilts and flame weapons: Not a good idea.

Goblin- A Goblin feels a breeze? [/B][/QUOTE]

Bagpipes however, will cause instant 100% suppresion to all troops. Warning, do not attempt to use bagpipes in any Indian or North African battle as they are suspected of attracting very aggressive bull elephants.

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Post #: 55
- 5/3/2002 8:05:03 AM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		Lay off the pipes, man.:mad:

Goblin- A Goblin likes the pipes

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Post #: 56
Simpleton Tip #21 - 5/4/2002 7:19:22 AM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		For the Japanese-

Katana's? Are you serious? Bring a rifle and grenades instead.

Goblin- A Goblin advises against the Cuisinart

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Post #: 57
Simpleton Tip #22 - 5/4/2002 3:55:01 PM   
Bernie


Posts: 1779
Joined: 3/15/2002
From: Depot HQ - Virginia
Status: offline 		If you run out of ammo in a desperate situation try to get the enemy laughing by telling him jokes. The more the better. Keep telling them until he's laughing so hard his eyes are watering (equivalent to suppression :80) then club him to death with your empty rifle.

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Post #: 58
Simpleton Tip #23 - 5/5/2002 5:54:50 AM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		When fighting in the desert, do not forget your SPF90. The sun is your number one danger!

Goblin- A Goblin forgot the Afrika Corp

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Post #: 59
Simpleton Tip #24 - 5/6/2002 4:48:46 AM   
Goblin


Posts: 5547
Joined: 3/29/2002
From: Erie,Pa. USA
Status: offline 		To guarantee the arrival of your Special Ops troops, place their infiltration hexes nowhere near where you will actually need them. If you put them where you need them (i.e. in a dangerous spot), your troops will not show up.

Goblin- A Goblin keeps checking his watch

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Post #: 60
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