Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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quote:
*************Officer's Club, Suva, Sept. 3, 1942************ (Cont. from 4777) Man in fine linen slacks: Hey, Yossarian, let me pick your brain about a new product line idea. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: Will it hurt? Man in fine linen slacks: Yossarian, you crazy SOB. It's just an expression. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: For most people, yes. Man in fine linen slacks: Look, do you want to hear my idea or not? Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: Do I have a choice? Man in fine linen slacks: No. So, here is the deal. What mode of demise does life insurance NOT cover? Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: MIA. My dad still has not got his check. Man in fine linen slacks: No, no, no. I mean SUICIDE. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: Yeah, so? Man in fine linen slacks: Well, that's my idea, suicide insurance. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: Why, you crazy SOB, there is a REASON suicide is excluded. Man in fine linen slacks: Sure, sure, but I'm not talking about regular suicide insurance, I am talking about Hara-kiri insurance. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: Milo, that is the craziest ass thing I have ever heard you say. Who is going to buy something like that? Man in fine linen slacks: Jap officers. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: The Allies are going on the offensive and you are going to sell Hara-kiri insurance to Jap officers? Maybe I am not quite grasping the business model. Man in fine linen slacks: No, think about it. They are duty bound to do the deed but the want to provide for their families. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: Right, I get that but nobody is going to buy this thing ahead of time. Only the duty bound will buy it. Man in fine linen slacks: Of course. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: What do you mean of course? Everyone who buys your policy will be eligible for a claim. You will get killed, so to speak. Man in fine linen slacks: Yes, yes, that's the beauty of it. You won't neeed agents. Everyone in that situation will want to buy it. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: And everyone will expect to make a claim. Man in fine linen slacks: Yes, of course. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: Look, Milo. It's a crazy idea. Forget about the bottom line, who is going to submit the claim? Man in fine linen slacks: Why, naturally, the commanding officer. It's in the fine print. Hirsute man now beginning to grow a beard: But they aren't going to do that. It would be a loss of honor to go to the commanding officer, assuming he isn't out buying a policy himself....<stops cold and a look of realization comes over him>,,,Milo, you crazy, calculating, genius SOB. It can't fail. Man in fine linen slacks: Yes, of course.
< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 6/26/2011 2:24:42 PM >
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