Cap Mandrake
Posts: 23184
Joined: 11/15/2002 From: Southern California Status: offline
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***************SWPAC HQ, Brisbane, Oct. 28, 1942*********** Patrician-looking general: Son, I must say I found your book a complelling read. Sorry to hear about the KIA thing. I have to say you look well. Hirsute fellow: I've never felt better, sir, thank you. Patrician-looking general: I enjoyed the spirituality of your book. Did your really alter a mission because you saw the vision of an Armenian Priest? Hirsute fellow: Yes, sir, in a way, but he wasn't a vision. He was realy there and he was 5000 ft tall. I saw his arm move. Patrician-looking general: <shifts uncomfortably> 5000 ft.? Well, that is quite a large priest. Hirsute fellow: Yes sir, bigger than life, you might say. Patrician-looking general: Indeed...well..I'll get to the point of the meeting. It seems we are receiving a trickle of 2,000 lb., ship-buster bombs. Hirsute fellow: 2000 lb's, my, that is quite a large bomb, sir. Patrician-looking general: Yes, indeed. Look, I suppose everyone knows it by now but we are a bit of a briar patch at Port Hedland. We need something that will crack open those damnable Jap battlewagons. Hirsute fellow: 2000 lbs. armor-piercing might do it sir, if you have someone who can hit the damn things. Patrician-looking general: PRECISELY! That is why I called this meeting. We need something with the range of the B-25 that can carry these things and hit a warship. The ordnance boys on the West Coast say they won't even release them until we have a squadron with an average experience of 70. Hirsute fellow: 70, sir? I'm afraid SWPAC won't be able to field such a squadron unitl late 43, at least, based on my experience. Patrician-looking general: What do you mean "based on your experience", son? Hirsute fellow: Well, sir, this is the thrid time I've done this sir... Young man in fine linen slacks: He means based on his professional opinion, sir. Patrician-looking general: Right, so that is the task, get us to that point before late '43. What do you need? Young man in fine linen slacks: Imported talent, sir. Patrician-looking general: Imported, from where? Young man in fine linen slacks: TRACOM, sir. Patrician-looking general: TRACOM? Why, Washington will never release them. Young man in fine linen slacks: They might with the proper motivation, sir. Patrician-looking general: Proper, motivation? Young man in fine linen slacks: Yes sir, suppose you were to call for a morale boosting tour of Australia with USAAF aces and then, when they get here, we make them an offer they can't refuse. Patrician-looking general: Could that work, Colonel? Col. Corleone, SWPAC Consigliere: Yes sir, I think it could. Patrician-looking general: SPLENDID! Young man <turns toward the hirsute fellow>, I am going to make you a Major on the spot. Someone, get me a uniform for this young man. Hirsute fellow: Sir, no offense, but I never wanted to be a Major. Patrician-looking general: But some of these boys at TRACOM will outrank you. How about Captain, then? Hirsute fellow: Sir, I never wanted to be a Captain, either. Patrician-looking general: Weren't you a Captain when you were...errr...killed? Col. Corleone, SWPAC Consigliere: Sir, I'm afraid that won't work, sir. He can't be recommissioned after he was KIA. It's the Truman Commission, sir. They are all over that. Young man in fine linen slacks: Sir, I'd like to propose a different model. How about a professional services agreement? Suppose the former Cpt. Yossarian and I take majority equity positions in the new corporation, I can be titular CEO and he can be Vice President of Product Development. Then, when the TRACOM boys get here, we offer them minority equity positions. I am thinking a capitation fee plus a productivity adjustment...say $1500 per pilot, per sortie, plus a bonus of $15,000 for every hit on a Japanese warship to be split between the corporation and the individual crew. SWPAC owns the birds and promising to provide ground support, lodging, 401-K and 4 weeks vacation. Patrician-looking general: <slack-jawed...then recovers> 401-K? Hirsute fellow: And life insurance. We want life insurance...and never, EVER, are the words "milk run" to be spoken. Milo, what about field modification? Young man in fine linen slacks: Yes, good point. The corporation retains the right to make field modifications of the 25's and assuems no liability for any damage. Now, General, if you don't mind I'd like to bring in Mr. Cheatham to work over some details with the Colonel...........
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