Moondawggie
Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003 From: Placer County CA Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake quote:
ORIGINAL: Crackaces quote:
ORIGINAL: Chickenboy Your "Doctor Grumpy" thought of the day to pull this AAR from Page 2 purgatory. Some days a patient reminds me of the (dwindling) reasons why I still love this job. Dr. Grumpy: "Have you had any neck pain?" Mr. Awesome: "I have no idea." Dr. Grumpy: "You don't know if you have neck pain?" Mr. Awesome: "Look, doc, I'm 89. If you pay attention to every ache and pain at my age you become a f****ng hypochondriac." That is why I ask the patient "how are your daily activites going along .. any pain?" "how is your sleep? any pain where do you usually sleep?" etc .. this gets the pain that interferes with life .. Ok back to the war ... Santa Maria! What were you thinking? Don't ask questions to which you will get an affirmative answer! You will never get out of the room and get home to turn an AE turn. Better would be the strategy used by the only borderline hot female student in my medical school class. She was obsessive enough to really ask EVERY question on the review of systems but she couldn't tolerate "yes" answers, so she would say to the 82 year old veteran, "I'm going to ask you a few questions. Just stop me if you think the answer is yes." Then she would consult her written list and start reading faster than a hockey announcer, "Do you have cough, wheezing, shortness of breath, productive sputum, night sweats, weight loss, appetite change, excessive urination......blah, blah, blah". The poor guy probably had half the symptoms but couldn't form a word fast enough to answer "yes" and before he could interrupt her, he had forgotten what the question was. It was simultaneously hilarious and sad to watch. She went into academic medicine. I doubt she's hot any more. Reminds me of a resident I worked with with I was doing my 3rd year internal med rotation: this guy hated positive answers, too, but he had a different technique: He'd ask people, "Do you have headaches, seizures, weakness, numbness, balance problems, and do you beat your wife?" "Do you have chest pain, shortness of breath lying down, rapid irregular heartbeat, and do you molest children? He got nothing but "nos," went into academic medicine, too.
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"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them." General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg
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