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RE: Men in tights - 5/9/2010 5:35:47 AM

Cap Mandrake

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Maybe the young Lt. should be sent to Bataan or Manila to brighten the mood???

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RE: Men in tights - 5/9/2010 2:12:21 PM

BrucePowers

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You would inflict that one the good fellow?

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War jitters - 5/9/2010 4:04:46 PM

Cap Mandrake

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******HQ, 1st Bn/297th, Skagway, Alaska, Feb. 14th, 1942*******

Telephone Soldier Guy: Sir, it's observation station Bravo, Chilkoot Inlet. They report a persicope sighting.

OOD: <doesn't even look up from his paperwork> Ask them if it is shaped like a fin and is black.

Telephone Soldier Guy: The Captain asks if it is shaped like a fin and is black? <gets reply> Yes, sir, they ask how did you know that?

OOD: Because I get the same stupid report from every first-timer, corn fed, kid from Nebraska that goes up there. It's Spot, he likes to look for seals there about this time of day. And tell them no Jap sub is ever going to enter the Chilkoot Inlet because we don't have any Goddamned ships to sink. <goes back to work> Ohh...and tell them the Klinket sort of look like Japs to people from Nebraska so I don't want any reports about a Jap landing party unless some joker stabs them in the belly with his bayonet.

* NB: I don't want some insufferable pedantic pencil neck telling me the Chilkoot Inlet would be frozen over in mid February. Global Cooling hasn't started yet, OK?

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/9/2010 4:09:10 PM >

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Post #: 813

Bigger holes - 5/9/2010 4:20:54 PM

Cap Mandrake

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I was at a conference at the Anaheim Convention Center (near Disneyland) yesterday. Madre de Dios! You would not believe how large the people going into Disneyland are.

They are going to have to make the holes bigger in the Matterhorn.

Already, out of safety concerns, they had to modify the loading procedure on the Matterhorn ride. When I was a kid, they had a graphic showing the female silhoutte sitting in front of the male silhouette when loading. This was sensible as the person in back bears the weight of the one in front as the car climbs up to the top of the Matterhorn and because of the standard sexual dimorphism of the human species. They had to change it as they had several tragic deaths from skinny guys being crushed by there ample dates/wives. I think there were also of few cases of gay couples complaining the display was discriminatory.

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Post #: 814

RE: War jitters - 5/9/2010 8:36:08 PM

Grollub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

******HQ, 1st Bn/297th, Skagway, Alaska, Feb. 14th, 1942*******

Telephone Soldier Guy: Sir, it's observation station Bravo, Chilkoot Inlet. They report a persicope sighting.

OOD: <doesn't even look up from his paperwork> Ask them if it is shaped like a fin and is black.

Telephone Soldier Guy: The Captain asks if it is shaped like a fin and is black? <gets reply> Yes, sir, they ask how did you know that?

OOD: Because I get the same stupid report from every first-timer, corn fed, kid from Nebraska that goes up there. It's Spot, he likes to look for seals there about this time of day. And tell them no Jap sub is ever going to enter the Chilkoot Inlet because we don't have any Goddamned ships to sink. <goes back to work> Ohh...and tell them the Klinket sort of look like Japs to people from Nebraska so I don't want any reports about a Jap landing party unless some joker stabs them in the belly with his bayonet.

* NB: I don't want some insufferable pedantic pencil neck telling me the Chilkoot Inlet would be frozen over in mid February. Global Cooling hasn't started yet, OK?

Spot? Wasn't that the name of a Malayan dog earlier in this AAR?

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Post #: 815

RE: War jitters - 5/9/2010 9:09:18 PM

sprior

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This is Spot:

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Post #: 816

RE: Luzon - 5/10/2010 5:51:40 PM

LoBaron

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Just catching up with your AAR.

I spilled a few drinks over my keyboard already, and I�m only on page 14 yet.

Wonder if master Master Sargeant McMillan is still with 34th PS...

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Post #: 817

RE: War jitters - 5/10/2010 11:12:21 PM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

This is Spot:

And what would you have Mandrake call him? Willie?

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Post #: 818

RE: War jitters - 5/11/2010 12:41:53 AM

BrucePowers

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Marmaduke

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RE: War jitters - 5/11/2010 7:04:10 AM

Cap Mandrake

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The young Lt. should never have been allowed to board the Seal.

Sure, they put a hole in Soryu, but the next day, 4th IJA Division shock attacked at Koumac and sent our guys packing. 29th NZ Bn. is wrecked. The US Regt. is about 1/2 disrupted. 161st Inf never reached the battle, and is with the retreated units 40 m SE of Koumac. As the Japs have no armor, I think I can get them back to Noumea. I might ask for volunteers (the fungible Free French) to act as a rearguard.

In Noumea, a few Grants and Stuarts have already been unloaded and another aviation ground support unit is one day out. Time to build up the fortifications at Noumea. Against all odds, 9 brand new F4F airframes were located near Noumea and have been added to the Marine Wildcat squadron there. Imagine that. In addition, one squadron of SBD's have arrived from the carriers off New Zealand. Koumac has no airfield but it shouldnt take the Japs long to get one with the support they brought ashore. Does anyone know if I can slow the airfield build with airfield attacks even before the it has reached level one?

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RE: War jitters - 5/11/2010 9:29:49 AM

Alfred

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Don't know about infrastructure not yet at level 1 but, you could bomb the port which in terms of diverting engineers away from airfield construction, would be just as good.

Alfred

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Post #: 821

RE: War jitters - 5/11/2010 2:26:18 PM

USSAmerica

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Good advice from Alfred. If Koumac has a Level 1 port or airfield, you can bomb it, and that damage will be repaired before any construction work is done. There's no way to cause "damage" to a dot base that I know of to slow down construction.

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Post #: 822

Let the bomb-ing begin - 5/11/2010 4:09:09 PM

Cap Mandrake

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********Ad Hoc, I Amphib Corps, Joint Air Operations and Air Hockey Center, Noum...err..I mean New Edinburgh, 07:20, Feb. 15, 1942********

Maj. Tyndall (USAAF), CO 2nd BS(M) and acting CIC, I Amphib Corps, Joint Air Operations and Air Hockey Center:...<at podium in briefing room, there is a large crucifix behind him which is partly obscured by a map of New Caledo...err..I mean..New Scotland. In fact, the cord supporting the map is wrapped around Jesus' hands. If you look around the room, which you can't because I made it up...but if you could you would see that the briefing room is a small chapel with whitewashed plaster walls. Quite beautiful, really. I know what you are thinking, sacreligious you say? Sure, but Maj. Tyndall, is not a religious man, at least not after that nun slapped him the face in front of the 5th grade class at Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt for groping Mary Jane's prematurely ample bosom. She was beautiful...Mary Jane, I mean, not the nun. Mary Jane changed her name and now works for Mr. Howard Hughes making movies. You think her bosom was ample in 5th grade? Madre de Dios! You wouldn't believe me if I told you. And this is before silicone too. Where was I? Oh yes, the briefing...>

....Captain Steubing will finish the intel briefing on today's antishipping operations but I wanted to talk about a shift of focus beginning tomorrow. Tomorrow, we go after the port at Kou...er...I mean New Ullapool. <he nods to a Sargeant who drops a canvas on an easel which is supported by a statue of a minor saint....oh..I don't know...Saint Agnes of Las Vegas. Revealed is a enlarged recon photograph of a 75 ft wooden jetty which is missing about 25% of its planks> THIS! Is the port of New Ullapool. THIS, is what YOU are going to destroy. G2 figures if we knock this down, the Japs will keep trying to repair it and will never get the airfield done. Any questions?

Pilot1: Sir, how do we know the Japs won't work on the airfield at the same time?

Maj. Tyndall (USAAF), CO 2nd BS(M) and acting CIC, I Amphib Corps, Joint Air Operations and Air Hockey Center: <looks toward aide> The Naval Treaty of 1925, I think..or it might be a House Rule..I'm not sure. You will just have to trust me on this.

Pilot2: Sir, we've been training on Naval Attack missions in the B-26. We haven't really attacked anything that is not moving. Do we just fly right over it and push the button when it is right below us?

Pilot3: Lt., that won't work. The wind will blow it off target.

Pilot4: Well, how about we do what Lt. Kowalski suggested and then somebody yells "NOW" over the radio and we all drop at once. How could we miss? <a heated discussion develops over the fine points of level bombing>

Maj. Tyndall (USAAF), CO 2nd BS(M) and acting CIC, I Amphib Corps, Joint Air Operations and Air Hockey Center: <leans over to his aide Cpt. Steubing and says quietly> Steubing, see if that equipment supplier with the linen slacks and Hawaiian shirt does ordnance too. We are going to need some "retarded" bombs.

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Post #: 823

RE: War jitters - 5/11/2010 6:22:34 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Grollub

Spot? Wasn't that the name of a Malayan dog earlier in this AAR?

I think he ended up as a "chicken" curry.

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New Scotland - 5/12/2010 7:13:09 PM

Cap Mandrake

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I would have done the same thing. The Jap carriers moved SE to intercept the transports arriving at Koumac. It could have been much worse. The CAP over Moumea made them pay quite a price. If the Jap carriers stay off New Scotland any longer they will have to register the kids for elementary school and get local driving licenses.

Soryu falls prey to a picket of subs near the Solomons designed to pick off stragglers. she is described as having "heavy damage".

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RE: New Scotland - 5/12/2010 7:37:37 PM

Cap Mandrake

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I figure a few burning transports will drive the Jap carrier commanders into a froth. I think I will fly off the two F4F squadrons from the US carriers NW of Auckland. This will bring the operational fighter strength at Noumea to nearly 100 airframes. For added enjoyment I think I will bring up the three remaining SBD squadrons on the carriers as well to give Noumea a real potential sting.

The two badly depleted SBD squadrons already at Noumea will shuttle back to the carriers to be refitted in NZ. I am still waiting for an opportunity to get the crusier force East of the New Hebrides a shot at the transports at Koumac. As configured, the Jap carriers are astride the approach route.

If they can pull it off it will be like Jeb Stuarts ride around McClellan.

Lots of Jap aircraft shot down near Lautem too. More to follow.

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RE: New Scotland - 5/12/2010 9:03:32 PM

Chickenboy

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Your map references fighing at "Noumea". Where is that? Similarly, where is your operational security for code names these days?

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Post #: 827

RE: New Scotland - 5/12/2010 10:42:44 PM

Cap Mandrake

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***********Office of Naval Intelligence, Pacific Fleet, Pearl Harbor, Feb. 16, 1942**************

Ranting Officer: ...good God Almighty and the horse he rode in in, find me the IDIOT who leaked this stuff to Stars and Stripes. For Christ's sake do I have to do EVERYTHING around here? Doesn't anyone around here understand operational security. I want them to print a redacted map and I want it now!

Aide: YES SIR!...but I wonder if it will make that much difference given the number of copies in publication already.

Ranting Officer: JUST DO IT! GOD DAMNIT!

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RE: New Scotland - 5/12/2010 11:09:23 PM

khyberbill

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You missed that flag at one end of the island!

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RE: New Scotland - 5/12/2010 11:30:17 PM

Kwik E Mart

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hmmm....not enough of these in the G2 spaces?

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RE: New Scotland - 5/13/2010 6:29:28 AM

sprior

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Meanwhile to the west of --------- absolutely nothing happened.

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Lose lips... - 5/15/2010 3:15:06 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Attachment (1)

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RE: Lose lips... - 5/15/2010 3:24:22 PM

Cap Mandrake

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******Secret Attic Room, Torcross, Devon, Feb. 16, 1942******

A beautiful young woman sits in near darkness, her flaxen hair made more beautiful by the amber glow of vacuum tubes. She wears headphones.

Beautiful young woman with flaxen hair: This is Delilah, do your read me Siegfried, over?.......

Roger that, sir. I am going to need a gross of rubbers, over.....

Yes, sir, another one with a social disease. I thought the twit was never going to tell me, over......

On, no, this one's British, the Yanks have their own rubbers, over....

Roger that, Slapton Sands, 02:00 on the 17th, 3 flashes......

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/15/2010 3:25:55 PM >

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RE: New Scotland - 5/15/2010 3:28:22 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Meanwhile to the west of --------- absolutely nothing happened.

I can't stand it. I gotta tell them.

BTW...can you explain to us what the Eastern Fleet is doing on the West side of the map?

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 5/15/2010 3:29:38 PM >

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New Scotland - 5/15/2010 7:37:23 PM

Cap Mandrake

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**********Situation Feb. 18, 1942************

New Scotland: As predicted, the Jap carriers went after the transports unloading at Noumea..err..I mean New Edinburgh. Despite the influx of 2 USN F4F squadrons, the Jap raids were more successful, sinking USS Hammon, a DM and two transports. Welke either sank from the previous day battle damage or is being converted to a Potomac River yacht. I am not sure which to believe. 13 Jap carrier planes were lost vs. the loss of one P-39 and one Marine F4F. The transports were docked so either their cargo was either already unloaded or they were able to scramble off the ships in a hurry onto the dock. There were no reports of casualties to land units. There are now about 50 tanks ashore (40 Grants and I think about 10 captured Italian armored cars now labeled Burnside 1A's). The drivers are taking some time acquainting themselves with the curious 5 reverse gears on the Burnside. There is now a second aviation support unit ashore, nearly tripling the aviation support. It appears some of their motorized support is at the bottom of Noumea Bay but the remainder of the uit is in good shape. 280 troops and 30 trucks of 6th Marine Regt are ashore. The great bulk of the Regt. has just pushed off from Pago Pago.

USN losses from the reinforcment effort are 2 DD's (probably), one DM and three transports.

A raid of 13 fresh USN SBD's and 35 USN F4F's attacked the Jap carriers (evidently Shokaku and Zuikaku without Hiryu) which were standing off to the NE about 240 mi. This left at least another 40 SBD's behind at Noumea. Poor air coordination, perhaps. They encounted 44 Zeroes over the carriers, losing 7 F4F's and 9 SBD's and scoring NO hits. There was no afternoon attack. Uggh...that is annoying. Se la guerre, eh?

I will surpised if they don't open the distance rather than risk another attack by SBD's

Timor: On the 16th, Akagi and one or two CVL's sortied again off Lautem. Jap carrier planes attacked the transports offloading at Lautem but were devastated by P-39's and P-40E's on CAP. At least 40 carrier planes were lost with no hits on the transport. In the afternoon, a carrier raid did find an RN/RNN DD force of 4 ships which was attempting to raid shipping at Koepang. Old Thanet was lost. On the 17th, the fast transports were recalled to Darwin and the Jap carriers disappeared. In the air over Lautem, land based zeroes made repeated sweeps, besting the P-39 and P-40 CAP. The CAP will be cancelled for the 18th and undamaged shipping will be sent back to Darwin.

Lautem now has a level one field, aviation support, 2800 tons of supply and 90% of an Inf. Brigade. Koepang airfield is beign suppressd by B-17 attacks from Darwin.

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Post #: 835

RE: New Scotland - 5/16/2010 8:50:31 AM

sprior

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quote:

BTW...can you explain to us what the Eastern Fleet is doing on the West side of the map?

It's a cunning plan to confound and confuse out wily foe.

Meanwhile W is about to arrive at D and M is about to have the snot kicked out of it. Looks like nellie the elephant will have to find somewhere else to meet the head of the herd under the silvery light.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

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RE: New Scotland and other locales - 5/16/2010 7:57:48 PM

perkinh

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Thanks!!! Luckily i had a spare keyboard.....

I know i am way behind, but i just found this AAR this weekend, and i have wasted most of my prime garden planting time reading it. Now i just have to till and plant a 1/2 acre before my wife gets home from the beach this afternoon.

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RE: New Scotland - 5/16/2010 8:13:58 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

Meanwhile W is about to arrive at D and M is about to have the snot kicked out of it. Looks like nellie the elephant will have to find somewhere else to meet the head of the herd under the silvery light.

I think I understood that! Except for the "silvery light" bit. Probably something tortured English kids are made to read insted of Huckleberry Finn. Kipling? Or maybe it's Jackspeak again.

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RE: New Scotland - 5/16/2010 9:48:07 PM

CT Grognard

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Sprior is referring to an obscure song sung by Mandy Miller in the 50s...the lyrics go "The head of the herd was calling, far, far away; they met one night in the silver light, on the road to Mandalay".

Sprior's showing his age...

As an aside, gents, thanks for this great AAR, I've had great fun following it.

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RE: New Scotland - 5/16/2010 9:57:08 PM

CT Grognard

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Smoking the last of their M & M Enterprises fags, wishing they were stationed in Singers instead of Mandalay: