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RE: New Scotland - 7/20/2010 7:20:33 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Kwik E Mart

yes, it's a shame the mines are not more effective...any way to get some pesky PT boats created in new perth?

Nope...no PT's available, even if it were possible to build in New Scotland. I have 12 at Midway growing barnacles. I will move them down.

(in reply to Kwik E Mart)

Post #: 1321

RE: New Scotland - 7/21/2010 8:57:02 AM

sprior

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10/4/42

Another raid on Darwin repulsed

Night Time Surface Combat, near Darwin at 76,124, Range 1,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DD Tanikaze, Shell hits 2
DD Michishio, Shell hits 2
DD Suzukaze
DD Tatsukaze

Allied Ships
DD Vampire, Shell hits 1
DD Witte de With
DD Van Ghent
DD Stronghold, Shell hits 1
DD Express

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1322

RE: New Scotland - 7/21/2010 5:58:02 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

10/4/42

Another raid on Darwin repulsed

Night Time Surface Combat, near Darwin at 76,124, Range 1,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DD Tanikaze, Shell hits 2
DD Michishio, Shell hits 2
DD Suzukaze
DD Tatsukaze

Allied Ships
DD Vampire, Shell hits 1
DD Witte de With
DD Van Ghent
DD Stronghold, Shell hits 1
DD Express

Those are the Zulu scouts testing your strength.

I am beginning to like Capt Joost. They return with 4 DD's and we counter with 5.

There are some more menacing bad guys Northeast of New and Improved Japanese Timor. We should rename Darwin, New Rorke's Drift....for secrecy of course.

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/21/2010 6:06:06 PM >

(in reply to sprior)

Post #: 1323

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 4:40:31 AM

HMS Resolution

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"Quiet down now, there's a good gentleman."

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Post #: 1324

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 9:34:05 AM

sprior

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I only told you to blow the bloody doors off!

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_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

(in reply to HMS Resolution)

Post #: 1325

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 9:35:43 AM

sprior

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To the rescue! Plus I think I have to build this model this weekend with my son.

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_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

(in reply to sprior)

Post #: 1326

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 1:39:57 PM

sprior

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quote:

We should rename Darwin, New Rorke's Drift....for secrecy of course

Or NRD for short. And where's New Isandalwhana?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1327

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 1:59:09 PM

FOW

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Spior - New Isandalwhana was Broome, wasn't it????

Cap - on logging in the passcode was 'HOTFUF' - how did the forum software know the aircon is out in my office????

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Post #: 1328

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 2:02:57 PM

sprior

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quote:

New Isandalwhana was Broome, wasn't it????

Nah, that was just a flesh wound.

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

(in reply to FOW)

Post #: 1329

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 6:31:12 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

I only told you to blow the bloody doors off!

That seems a completely discordant combination of fake gunpowder residue, fake (presumably) dried lip crud and blue eye makeup.

I wonder if the director called for that (blue eye shadow) or was it just the makeup guy having fun?

Or, perhaps it was historical and was used to scare the Zulus.

(in reply to sprior)

Post #: 1330

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 8:29:00 PM

sprior

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quote:

Or, perhaps it was historical and was used to scare the Zulus.

A well known tactic when attacked by men with sharpened kumquat halves.

If it was a Scots regiment then:

Attachment (1)

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1331

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 8:44:24 PM

Cap Mandrake

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***********April 10, 1942***********

I flew in 3 SBD's from Brisbane to try to sneak a 1000 lb bomb down the stack of a Mogami class but the LYB's snuck in at night to bombard New Perth again, shutting down the airfield for the daylight hrs. I dramatically lowered the number of aircraft there to avoid ground losses.

They are sweeping with Zeroes almost everyday over New Perth and today the dropped a few explosive devices from Sallys, doing no damage. 3 CA and one CL bombarded New Perth while 2 CA and 2 CL bombarded New Edinburgh.

The guners of 276th Coastal AA Bn. managed to land a 6 inch shell on Nachi which only seemed to make the LYB's more angry.

No Jap land attacks today. There remains an amphibious force unloading supplies (?) at New Edinburgh. Many hits are reported on the Jap AK's by 3rd Marine Defence Bn. but nothing ever seems to sink. I think their is something amiss with the reporting.

I am sending a USN CL/DD force North of Fiji to attempt a night raid among the transports at New Edninburgh. With the Jap carriers near Norfolk, it is just possible to get in and out if they are not spotted on the inbound. Of course, we can't have them running into Jap crusiers either.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/22/2010 8:47:18 PM >

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Post #: 1332

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 8:45:51 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

Or, perhaps it was historical and was used to scare the Zulus.

A well known tactic when attacked by men with sharpened kumquat halves.

If it was a Scots regiment then:

Would that be more likely to scare them or make them laugh?

(in reply to sprior)

Post #: 1333

RE: New Scotland - 7/22/2010 10:28:02 PM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

quote:

Or, perhaps it was historical and was used to scare the Zulus.

A well known tactic when attacked by men with sharpened kumquat halves.

If it was a Scots regiment then:

So the Welsh have nothing to show?

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

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Post #: 1334

Mr. Edison - 7/22/2010 10:52:49 PM

Cap Mandrake

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So last month, I get this $450 electric bill from Southern California Edison. Naturally, in my effort to become green (and because this seemed like a lot of money to me), i scour the household looking for wasteful uses of electricity. Now, you might say why don't I just turn my computer off and stop wasting so much time saving the world. I considered this approach carefully but instead instructed Stalker Girl to stop using the hair dryer and for the Mayan housekeeper to stop vacuuming the same patch of carpet for 30 minutes and to go easy on the Telenovela watching on the big screen.

This strategy seemed to work fantastically well as the bill was only $4 this month. Despite my pride, I couldn't help shake the notionthat there was a mistake somwhere...so I called SCE.

Nice SCE girl: ...ah, yes, looks like there may have been a problem reading the meter. I'll make an adjustment.

Me: That's great but I do wonder why you guys don't have some way to spot things like this.

Nice SCE girl: Well, sometimes the computer catches it.

Me: Ah, you mean when it's $1000 one month and $1 then next?

Nice SCE girl: Umm, I'm not really sure.

Me: Well, maybe Mr. Edison could work on it?

Nice SCE girl: Oh, he doesn't work here any more, I am pretty sure. I think he passed away.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that...................

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Post #: 1335

RE: Mr. Edison - 7/23/2010 8:28:25 PM

Kwik E Mart

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So last month, I get this $450 electric bill from Southern California Edison. Naturally, in my effort to become green (and because this seemed like a lot of money to me), i scour the household looking for wasteful uses of electricity. Now, you might say why don't I just turn my computer off and stop wasting so much time saving the world. I considered this approach carefully but instead instructed Stalker Girl to stop using the hair dryer and for the Mayan housekeeper to stop vacuuming the same patch of carpet for 30 minutes and to go easy on the Telenovela watching on the big screen.

This strategy seemed to work fantastically well as the bill was only $4 this month. Despite my pride, I couldn't help shake the notionthat there was a mistake somwhere...so I called SCE.

Nice SCE girl: ...ah, yes, looks like there may have been a problem reading the meter. I'll make an adjustment.

Me: That's great but I do wonder why you guys don't have some way to spot things like this.

Nice SCE girl: Well, sometimes the computer catches it.

Me: Ah, you mean when it's $1000 one month and $1 then next?

Nice SCE girl: Umm, I'm not really sure.

Me: Well, maybe Mr. Edison could work on it?

Nice SCE girl: Oh, he doesn't work here any more, I am pretty sure. I think he passed away.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that...................

this one ALMOST outdoes the nitrogen in the tires story...classic

_____________________________

Kirk Lazarus: I know who I am. I'm the dude playin' the dude, disguised as another dude!
Ron Swanson: Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1336

RE: Mr. Edison - 7/24/2010 2:12:36 AM

witpqs

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There was a large law firm in a big city. They're probably still there, so I'll change their name to "Mo, Larry, and Curly" to protect their identity. While the other founders had descendants who were part of the firm, "Curly" did not and had decades ago passed away. I was standing next to the reception desk when the switchboard operator answered a call, apparently asking for Mr. "Curly", whereupon she very cheerily replied "Oh, he's dead!" Said she got a call like that every few months.

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Post #: 1337

RE: Mr. Edison - 7/24/2010 7:06:23 AM

Cap Mandrake

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It's Dewey, Cheatham & Howe, right?

We have this quality award in our group named after one of the founders of the group. He was (is..still alive)a smart guy and a business Midas type but he was also a human resources nightmare (fraternizing with employees if you catch my drift). Every time I hear about the "XXXXXX Award" I imagine it is awarded for the "Most audacious and legally indefensibile sexual dalliance(s) with an employee in exchange for money, trinkets or special parking privledges this year goes to....<insert name of future divorcee here>" Ahhhh...the golden age of medicine.

Sadly, I have never won the thing. Oddly, or perhaps not,it is usually won by one of the women.

We have an Employee of the Year award for the staff, too. Pretty much whoever wins either dies, is fired or quits. It is the kiss of death. One year, the lab supervisor (not the one who was sending me Siegrfied Sassoon poems..another one) won the award. One week later, he was fired for threatening to bring a hand gun to work to kill one his coworkers that he discovered sleeping with his wife.

(this is also highly discouraged by the Human Resources types). The next day there was a bomb threat.

Oh, that is a tough one to figure out, eh?

BTW...Edison invented a DC electric chair to market his DC power supply system. The AC system won out. Edison did not hire cute enough executresses during his promotional tour of the chair. Good inventor...lousy marketer. Apparently, however, he has found a niche in the company. Mr. Edison found the problem and gave me a credit of $85 on my next bill.

< Message edited by Cap Mandrake -- 7/24/2010 7:16:08 AM >

(in reply to witpqs)

Post #: 1338

RE: Mr. Edison - 7/24/2010 7:26:22 AM

Cap Mandrake

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I other utility news, that Gas Company Deadbeat Impound Acct. that was paying me 3% interest on my $350 that they made me pay after I forgot to pay the bill twice....they gave me my money back. I protested. It was a good gig. 3% with virutally no risk...how are you going to beat that? It was higher than my adjustable mortgage on the house (2.75%). I tried to get a refi and plow some of the equity into the Gas Company Deadbeat Impound Acct. but my credit score was too crappy from not paying the gas bills on time.

Bloody bastards on Wall Street! That is what I say!

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1339

RE: Mr. Edison - 7/24/2010 11:34:00 AM

sprior

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April 13th

ALB lands at Port Hedland and is also moving troops to Derby. It's no good they're going to have to go.

Meanwhile I found out Viper Force can't para-drop. Gits.

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1340

RE: Mr. Edison - 7/24/2010 5:33:25 PM

Cap Mandrake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sprior

April 13th

ALB lands at Port Hedland and is also moving troops to Derby. It's no good they're going to have to go.

Utoh. Now he's mad. Broome is one thing, but Port Hedland...well that is the last straw.

US 32nd ID is loading up at Frisco. I set them prepping for Broome.

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Post #: 1341

Glossary - 7/24/2010 6:03:23 PM

Cap Mandrake

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Glossary: A place where tongues are kept

AE: A newly defined dependancy disorder in the DSM IV

Japs: The Japanese.

LYB's: Little Yellow Bastards. A racial epithet for the Japs (see above). The "little" part is generally true but I never really understood the "yellow" part. The "bastard" part is conditional but certainly seems appropriate in 1942 when they are stealing all the hard earned colonial properties from everyone else.

ALB's: Annoying Little Bastards. A variation of the above to be used when the LYB's have a good die roll.

Johnny Jap (JJ): Commonwealth racial epithet for the Japs (see above).

New Scotland (NS): Fiendishly clever code word for New Caledonia which was itself a fiendishly clever Roman code word for Scotland which is itself a fiendishly clever English code word for whatever the blue-painted people that originally lived there wished the palce to be called.

New Ullapool (NU): Code word for Koumac

New Edinburgh (NE): Code word for Noumea.

New Perth (NP): Code word for La Foa. This has nothing to do with the "Perth" in Australia which is just called "Perth" for now but probably should have been named "New Perth" to begin with because there already was a "Perth" in Old New Scotland (see above).

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Post #: 1342

NS - 7/24/2010 7:50:30 PM

Cap Mandrake

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**********New Scotland, April 13, 1942*********

Both NP and NE have had 2 glorious days without naval bombardments. I flew in some SBD's but they lacked sufficent motivation to attack anything. The P-39's were up in the air over NP and mixed it up with the Zeroes from NU, trading about 1:1. We cn afford to trade P-39's for Zeroes 1:1 over a freindly base in '42 as most of the pilots will live to fly again. I think the Japs are flying Zeroes over NE as a LRCAP as well, because a B-17 raid on Jap ground forces ran into some Zeroes, losing one B-17 and downing one Zeroe. That, we can't afford to do in the long run but I am going to keep up the pressure for now.

The Jap carriers disappeared for 2 days, causing some panic in the Coral Sea and South Pac, but they were again spotted today off Norfolk Is.

Jap cruisers are off NP today so I sent the SBD's back to Brisbane in an expectation of another attack on NP. A big Jap land assault on NP on the 11th failed badly at (1-2 odds). Another big Jap attack at NE was even worse, achieveing only 1:4 odds and suffering 4,500 casualties. NE is therefore secure for now. I have ordered 2/3 of the tanks back to NP. There are more Jap transports off NU...they may have more of the LYB's aboard.

5 USN BB's about 5 days out from Auckland.

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Post #: 1343

RE: NS - 7/24/2010 9:00:08 PM

BrucePowers

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Mr Edison was actually a fairly good marketer. His DC thing was one of his few failures. It was a failure because AC transmits better over long distances.

< Message edited by BrucePowers -- 7/25/2010 12:47:48 AM >

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Post #: 1344

RE: NS - 7/25/2010 12:34:52 AM

USSAmerica

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Rocket Scientist!

_____________________________

Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me

Artwork by The Amazing Dixie

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Post #: 1345

RE: YETIMO - 7/25/2010 3:48:07 AM

Moondawggie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Hehe. Poor bastard. Fins, no fins. Leak, no leak. He is going to get worked.

http://images.onset.freedom.com/orange/gallery/l2uhco-l2uhf7img4410a.jpg

Hey! That looked just like me just before I started walking with this limp!

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1346

RE: YETIMO - 7/25/2010 4:07:35 AM

Moondawggie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok

quote:

That would make you an honorary 909'er

Apparently Californians do speak a foreign language......

909 is an area code for the "Inland Empire". It is "inland" but it is no "empire".

Actually, Southern Californians break their "ethnic" identification along even more meritocratic and arcane lines: for instance, when a UCLA grad talks up another, very attractive UCLA grad following a football game at the Rose Bowl, they don't refer to one themselves as "Class of '74" or whatnot.

Instead, they identify themselves by the parking structure they were assigned while attending that august University.

Sample converstaion:

"Hi there, Beautiful! I'm from Lot 32! You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen in my life!"

"Get away from me, you lowlife creep! I'm from Lot 8!"

Me, I was a Lot 14 and Lot 8 guy.

Eat your hearts out, boyos!

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to Cap Mandrake)

Post #: 1347

RE: NS - 7/25/2010 4:59:37 AM

Moondawggie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Mr Edison was actually a fairly good marketer. His DC thing was one of his few failures. It was a failure because AC transmits better over long distances.

Yes, it's tough when you elect to market an inferior product.

Sounds like the same management expertise and judgment that went all-in for DC power transmission was subseqently transferred into the meter-reading and billing departments serving Mandrake today...

Yo, Mandrake, in New Edinburgh you look like you have the WW2-b or -c or -d equivalent of the Mark 1 WW2 Guadalcanal attrition Campaign on your hands.

Are you plannng to keep going all-in like Halsey, Vandegrift and McCain did?

It's a great showdown!

_____________________________

"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them."

General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg

(in reply to BrucePowers)

Post #: 1348

RE: YETIMO - 7/25/2010 5:22:16 PM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mynok

quote:

That would make you an honorary 909'er

Apparently Californians do speak a foreign language......

909 is an area code for the "Inland Empire". It is "inland" but it is no "empire".

Actually, Southern Californians break their "ethnic" identification along even more meritocratic and arcane lines: for instance, when a UCLA grad talks up another, very attractive UCLA grad following a football game at the Rose Bowl, they don't refer to one themselves as "Class of '74" or whatnot.

Instead, they identify themselves by the parking structure they were assigned while attending that august University.

Sample converstaion:

"Hi there, Beautiful! I'm from Lot 32! You are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen in my life!"

"Get away from me, you lowlife creep! I'm from Lot 8!"

Me, I was a Lot 14 and Lot 8 guy.

Eat your hearts out, boyos!

I'll have to ask my UCLA alumni friends about just wth you just said.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Moondawggie)

Post #: 1349

RE: NS - 7/25/2010 5:23:29 PM

Onime No Kyo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Moondawggie

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrucePowers

Mr Edison was actually a fairly good marketer. His DC thing was one of his few failures. It was a failure because AC transmits better over long distances.

Yes, it's tough when you elect to market an inferior product.

Sounds like the same management expertise and judgment that went all-in for DC power transmission was subseqently transferred into the meter-reading and billing departments serving Mandrake today...

Yo, Mandrake, in New Edinburgh you look like you have the WW2-b or -c or -d equivalent of the Mark 1 WW2 Guadalcanal attrition Campaign on your hands.

Are you plannng to keep going all-in like Halsey, Vandegrift and McCain did? It's a great showdown!

The odd thing is that I thought Allies were supposed to win battles of attrition.

_____________________________

"Mighty is the Thread! Great are its works and insane are its inhabitants!" -Brother Mynok

(in reply to Moondawggie)

Post #: 1350

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RE: New Scotland