Moondawggie
Posts: 403
Joined: 10/18/2003 From: Placer County CA Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake (resumed "in progress") *******Officer's Club, USAAF 90th BS(M), Auckland, April, 22, 1942****** Young man in fine silk shirt: Done! But, Yossarian, I am curious how you found out. Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: That's not all I know about. Young man in fine silk shirt: I don't know what you are talking about? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Oh, come off it, Milo. I am a "majority" owner <makes air quotes. He withdraws a tattered document from his pocket. It reads "Issued July 1, 1942, 1,000 shares M&M Enterprise, Shipbuilding Division". It is signed by "Milo Minderbinder, President". He hands it to the other man> Young man in fine silk shirt: <examines the document, which appears genuine. A look of growing surprise appears on his face> Sweet Mother of God! Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: That's what I said. Young man in fine silk shirt: <Pauses> Yossarian, you crazy SOB, do you realize what we could do in the stock market? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Nah, I didn't pay attention to that kind of stuff. Young man in fine silk shirt: What about sports betting? Who is going to win the World Series this year? Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Cardinals in 5 in 42-a. Young man in fine silk shirt: I'll make some calls. Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: I wouldn't do that, Milo, you crazy SOB. Young man in fine silk shirt: Why not? <sits back down> Hirsute USAAF Cpt.: Because, it was the Yanks in 6 in 42(b). Young man in fine silk shirt: YOSSARIAN, YOU CRAZY SOB! THAT'S BRILLIANT! <jumps upright> We need to make sure Musial doesn't get drafted, then we put everything on the Cards! <runs out of the club> Better yet, have Milo make sure Dimaggio and Joe Gordon both get reclassified 1-A and drafted from the Yanks: no remaining .300 hitters, no chance against the Cards! Remember, the color of insurance when you're fixing a bet is green! (Or is it "gord" in WW2-c?)
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"The Yankees got all the smart ones, and look where it got them." General George Pickett, the night before Gettysburg
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