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RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu!

 
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RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/29/2013 2:40:08 PM   
Titanwarrior89


Posts: 3283
Joined: 8/28/2003
From: arkansas
Status: offline
Wow, you are Soooo not hired.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Josh

You folks can't hire me because I'm wearing these;



No honestly.



_____________________________

"Before Guadalcanal the enemy advanced at his pleasure. After Guadalcanal, he retreated at ours".

"Mama, There's Rabbits in the Garden"

(in reply to Josh)
Post #: 31
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/29/2013 3:58:46 PM   
Mobius


Posts: 10339
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: California
Status: offline
1. I run with scissors.

(in reply to Josh)
Post #: 32
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/29/2013 7:04:40 PM   
Titanwarrior89


Posts: 3283
Joined: 8/28/2003
From: arkansas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mobius

1. I run with scissors.


Hahahaha

_____________________________

"Before Guadalcanal the enemy advanced at his pleasure. After Guadalcanal, he retreated at ours".

"Mama, There's Rabbits in the Garden"

(in reply to Mobius)
Post #: 33
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/29/2013 7:18:58 PM   
warspite1


Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DivePac88

3/ But mainly because I do really strange things to bread.

warspite1

Wow - we have a lot in common. I shouldn't be hired because I like to do strange things to Water Melons!


_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805



(in reply to DivePac88)
Post #: 34
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 12:17:12 AM   
parusski


Posts: 4804
Joined: 5/8/2000
From: Jackson Tn
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1


quote:

ORIGINAL: DivePac88

3/ But mainly because I do really strange things to bread.

warspite1

Wow - we have a lot in common. I shouldn't be hired because I like to do strange things to Water Melons!



After putting the melons in the microwave??

Personally I prefer the melons my wife presents me every evening...

_____________________________

"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman

(in reply to warspite1)
Post #: 35
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 5:42:12 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: H Gilmer

Do I qualify?


Oh....so close. You had me until "I love the Tide." No front-runners need apply, it appears.



_____________________________


(in reply to Gilmer)
Post #: 36
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 5:45:32 AM   
Chickenboy


Posts: 24520
Joined: 6/29/2002
From: San Antonio, TX
Status: offline
quote:


3/ But mainly because I do really strange things to bread.



No, no and no! Where you choose to put your 'thing' is none of our business. Until you put in in some bread you offer us. Please see "American Pie" and then get back to us. Until then, your application is rejected.

_____________________________


(in reply to DivePac88)
Post #: 37
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 9:29:30 AM   
wodin


Posts: 10762
Joined: 4/20/2003
From: England
Status: offline
Because I moan...oh and I have 666 on me head..

edit: can't believe it Chickenboy..you would have posted last!!! again nothing to do with you;)

< Message edited by wodin -- 1/30/2013 9:31:06 AM >


_____________________________


(in reply to Chickenboy)
Post #: 38
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 9:41:54 AM   
ilovestrategy


Posts: 3611
Joined: 6/11/2005
From: San Diego
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski



After putting the melons in the microwave??

Personally I prefer the melons my wife presents me every evening...


Thanks for nothing Steiner, my wife is wondering why I burst out laughing.


_____________________________

After 16 years, Civ II still has me in it's clutches LOL!!!
Now CIV IV has me in it's evil clutches!

(in reply to parusski)
Post #: 39
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 5:06:55 PM   
Rtwfreak

 

Posts: 381
Joined: 12/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

Personally I prefer the melons my wife presents me every evening


Yeah Yeah Picture of you standing beside her or it isn't so.

(in reply to ilovestrategy)
Post #: 40
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 6:49:02 PM   
parusski


Posts: 4804
Joined: 5/8/2000
From: Jackson Tn
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ilovestrategy


quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski



After putting the melons in the microwave??

Personally I prefer the melons my wife presents me every evening...


Thanks for nothing Steiner, my wife is wondering why I burst out laughing.



I aim to please. I know you are all counting on me.

_____________________________

"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman

(in reply to ilovestrategy)
Post #: 41
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 7:05:15 PM   
warspite1


Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski


quote:

ORIGINAL: ilovestrategy


quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski



After putting the melons in the microwave??

Personally I prefer the melons my wife presents me every evening...


Thanks for nothing Steiner, my wife is wondering why I burst out laughing.



I aim to please. I know you are all counting on me.
warspite1

Good luck, we're all counting on you.

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805



(in reply to parusski)
Post #: 42
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 7:49:27 PM   
parusski


Posts: 4804
Joined: 5/8/2000
From: Jackson Tn
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1


quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski


quote:

ORIGINAL: ilovestrategy


quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski



After putting the melons in the microwave??

Personally I prefer the melons my wife presents me every evening...


Thanks for nothing Steiner, my wife is wondering why I burst out laughing.



I aim to please. I know you are all counting on me.
warspite1

Good luck, we're all counting on you.


Thanks M'C. I knew you were all counting on me.

_____________________________

"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman

(in reply to warspite1)
Post #: 43
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 7:55:34 PM   
wodin


Posts: 10762
Joined: 4/20/2003
From: England
Status: offline
You haven't seen what I can do with a cactus..

_____________________________


(in reply to parusski)
Post #: 44
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 8:04:23 PM   
parusski


Posts: 4804
Joined: 5/8/2000
From: Jackson Tn
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wodin

You haven't seen what I can do with a cactus..


No I have not. And I am not so sure i want to.

_____________________________

"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman

(in reply to wodin)
Post #: 45
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 8:17:43 PM   
warspite1


Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski


quote:

ORIGINAL: wodin

You haven't seen what I can do with a cactus..


No I have not. And I am not so sure i want to.
warspite1

I just wanted to say, Good Luck - we're all counting on you.

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805



(in reply to parusski)
Post #: 46
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 8:26:11 PM   
parusski


Posts: 4804
Joined: 5/8/2000
From: Jackson Tn
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1


quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski


quote:

ORIGINAL: wodin

You haven't seen what I can do with a cactus..


No I have not. And I am not so sure i want to.
warspite1

I just wanted to say, Good Luck - we're all counting on you.


Thanks. I never want to let down the people who are counting on me. I will continue my diligent work.

_____________________________

"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman

(in reply to warspite1)
Post #: 47
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 10:28:46 PM   
Zorch

 

Posts: 7087
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
But what if they're counting on you to let them down?

(in reply to parusski)
Post #: 48
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 10:31:43 PM   
parusski


Posts: 4804
Joined: 5/8/2000
From: Jackson Tn
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

But what if they're counting on you to let them down?


Good question Zorch. Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.

_____________________________

"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman

(in reply to Zorch)
Post #: 49
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/30/2013 11:43:06 PM   
wodin


Posts: 10762
Joined: 4/20/2003
From: England
Status: offline
Peruvian Torch are my favourite..pressure cooker and a weekend needed.

_____________________________


(in reply to parusski)
Post #: 50
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 1/31/2013 2:42:30 AM   
Zorch

 

Posts: 7087
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
How about sniffing glue?





Attachment (1)

(in reply to parusski)
Post #: 51
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 2/4/2013 6:32:11 PM   
Orm


Posts: 22154
Joined: 5/3/2008
From: Sweden
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Titanwarrior89

1. I am old....er.
2. I drink alot of coffee
3. I like to sit now, when doing number 2 above.
4. I would want free games
5. I may show up late now, well probley most of the time.
6. Open Cell phone use....
7. And sleep at my desk.....big desk
8. A desk bigger than Erik's
9. Believe everything on my resume.
10.Last but not least, never ever stress me out and must be home to watch the Big Bang Theory.

Maybe you should run for a political position?

_____________________________

Have a bit more patience with newbies. Of course some of them act dumb -- they're often students, for heaven's sake. - Terry Pratchett

(in reply to Titanwarrior89)
Post #: 52
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 2/4/2013 6:50:12 PM   
parusski


Posts: 4804
Joined: 5/8/2000
From: Jackson Tn
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

How about sniffing glue?






I made the mistake of quitting that too.

Zorch, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

_____________________________

"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman

(in reply to Zorch)
Post #: 53
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 2/5/2013 12:15:12 AM   
Titanwarrior89


Posts: 3283
Joined: 8/28/2003
From: arkansas
Status: offline
If u don't get caught. But no benefits or 401k.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

How about sniffing glue?







_____________________________

"Before Guadalcanal the enemy advanced at his pleasure. After Guadalcanal, he retreated at ours".

"Mama, There's Rabbits in the Garden"

(in reply to Zorch)
Post #: 54
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 2/5/2013 7:51:05 AM   
ilovestrategy


Posts: 3611
Joined: 6/11/2005
From: San Diego
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

How about sniffing glue?






I made the mistake of quitting that too.

Zorch, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?



Do you ever watch gladiator movies?


I watched Airplane in the theater when it came out. Man, that movie is hilarious.

_____________________________

After 16 years, Civ II still has me in it's clutches LOL!!!
Now CIV IV has me in it's evil clutches!

(in reply to parusski)
Post #: 55
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 2/5/2013 7:16:47 PM   
Anthropoid


Posts: 3107
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Secret Underground Lair
Status: offline
From Gary's thread . . .

http://www.matrixgames.com/forums/fb.asp?m=3263888

quote:

1. The details of my life are inconsequential . . .
2. If given an offer, I would insist on a retainer of one hundred Beellionh dollars.
3. You see, I've turned the moon into what I like to call a "Death Star."
4. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, its breathtaking I suggest you try it.
5. Share? I'm the head of an Evil Organization, I don't share; okay you fricking idiot?
6. I only came on this forum as a platform to voice my aspirations for world domination.
7. I relish the sort of general malaise that only the genius posess and the insane lament.
8. I love toe cleavage.
9. You'll notice that all the sharks have laser beams attached to their heads. I figure that every creature deserves a warm meal *snicker*
10. And the best part of this plan is? . . . no one can stop me. Not even Erik Rutins Mwahahah! Mwhahaha! Mwahahah!


_____________________________

The x-ray is her siren song. My ship cannot resist her long. Nearer to my deadly goal. Until the black hole. Gains control...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkIIlkyZ328&feature=autoplay&list=AL94UKMTqg-9CocLGbd6tpbuQRxyF4FGNr&playnext=3

(in reply to ilovestrategy)
Post #: 56
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 2/5/2013 7:21:24 PM   
parusski


Posts: 4804
Joined: 5/8/2000
From: Jackson Tn
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ilovestrategy


quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

How about sniffing glue?






I made the mistake of quitting that too.

Zorch, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?



Do you ever watch gladiator movies?


I watched Airplane in the theater when it came out. Man, that movie is hilarious.


Watch gladiator movies? My boy, I STAR in them.



< Message edited by parusski -- 2/5/2013 7:30:51 PM >


_____________________________

"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman

(in reply to ilovestrategy)
Post #: 57
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 2/5/2013 7:24:56 PM   
warspite1


Posts: 41353
Joined: 2/2/2008
From: England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski


quote:

ORIGINAL: ilovestrategy


quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

How about sniffing glue?






I made the mistake of quitting that too.

Zorch, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?



Do you ever watch gladiator movies?


I watched Airplane in the theater when it came out. Man, that movie is hilarious.


Watch gladiator movies. My boy, I STAR in them.


warspite1

Tis true. Parusski played Kirk Douglas' cod piece

_____________________________

England expects that every man will do his duty. Horatio Nelson October 1805



(in reply to parusski)
Post #: 58
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 2/5/2013 7:34:39 PM   
parusski


Posts: 4804
Joined: 5/8/2000
From: Jackson Tn
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: warspite1


quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski


quote:

ORIGINAL: ilovestrategy


quote:

ORIGINAL: parusski


quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch

How about sniffing glue?






I made the mistake of quitting that too.

Zorch, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?



Do you ever watch gladiator movies?


I watched Airplane in the theater when it came out. Man, that movie is hilarious.


Watch gladiator movies. My boy, I STAR in them.


warspite1

Tis true. Parusski played Kirk Douglas' cod piece




Okay, you win round 12,233.

_____________________________

"I hate newspapermen. They come into camp and pick up their camp rumors and print them as facts. I regard them as spies, which, in truth, they are. If I killed them all there would be news from Hell before breakfast."- W.T. Sherman

(in reply to warspite1)
Post #: 59
RE: Fun thread.....why Matrix Shouldn't Hire YOu! - 2/6/2013 9:41:20 PM   
Zorch

 

Posts: 7087
Joined: 3/7/2010
Status: offline
What's our vector, Victor? Do we have clearance, Clarence? Over to you, Captain Oveur!

(in reply to parusski)
Post #: 60
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