BBfanboy
Posts: 18046
Joined: 8/4/2010 From: Winnipeg, MB Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake Malaysia Crappy Vildebeast sink a 12 pt AK's with torps, but Japan-mens capture Mersing. Admirah Rord SPrior now war criminah for invading Mersing on turn one. This mean Japan-mens bettah win. Singapore, British HQ, Gindrinker Hotel Gen. Percival Ah, Mr. Cheatham! Thank you for coming so quickly! Mr. Mindbender recommended your firm! Mr. Cheatham of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Law Corporation (1941 D) We have a very close association with Mr. Mindbender. Always pleased to answer a call to assist another suck... ah, client. What can we do for you General? General Percival We need your help dealing with one of the horrors of war to ensure it never happens again! Did you hear about the Japanese attack on Mersing? Mr. Cheatham of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Law Corporation (1941 D) I did, but I have no idea where that is. Did they do something nasty there? Bayonet babies? Behead prisoners? Gen. Percival No, no, nothing as common as that! Those BAHSTARDs actually invaded Mersing on the first day of the war! Interrupted the Malaya-wide dart tournament, amongst other evil disruptions. This is just not cricket! How can any commander keep up morale if they are allowed to get away with this! Mr. Cheatham of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Law Corporation (1941 D) I think I see the reasons for the morale problem now, but what can we do about it? Gen. Percival I want you to go to Geneva and see the people looking after the Geneva Conventions. Persuade them that the Conventions should be amended to prohibit unsporting conduct and gameyness! Mr. Cheatham of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Law Corporation (1941 D) I see, General. But the Japanese have never signed the Geneva Conventions. How will this change help? General Percival When those little upstarts impale themselves on Singapore's defences next week, we shall demand the unconditional surrender of their nation, and try the perpetrators of this ... this MERSING GAMBIT abomination for their war crimes! Mr. Cheatham of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Law Corporation (1941 D) Ah, very good, General. I must advise you though that such an undertaking will be quite costly. The Germans and Italians seem to have Switzerland quite surrounded, and we must pay dearly to fly there from Spain. Then there is the high cost of rental vehicles ... that's hire cars in your parlance ... and gasoline ... petrol. Are you prepared to meet a substantial payment up front for our services? Gen. Percival Well, I happen to have a substantial ownership interest in an upscale bar in Penang, with beautiful female servers who wear minimal attire, if you get my drift ... Mr. Cheatham of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Law Corporation (1941 D) I'm sorry, General, but given the current state of the market in Malaya, we cannot accept any real estate there as collateral. Do you have another method of payment? Gen. Percival [visibly wincing] I hate to part with it, but I also own a beach club called "Sandals" in the Caribbean. It has everything for young patrons - great bar with slightly more attired staff, beautiful sand beach, a casino ... there's even a massage parlour! Mr. Cheatham of Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Law Corporation (1941 D) That should be satisfactory, General. Thank you for your business. Gen. Percival Oh, very good! You must be on your way quickly now to get those measures on the books before we totally defeat these little yellow vermin! Say, before Christmas. Off you go now! Pip-pip!
_____________________________
No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth
|