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RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 3:41:16 AM   
geofflambert


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quote:

ORIGINAL: scout1


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

What if the two brothers and two sisters had the same two parents who happened to be fraternal twins? I was born in West Virginia, I've heard of things like that.


If you were truly born in WV, you would have used the correct description "West By God Virginia"
Those of us born there, know this .......


Oh no. There's more than one gorn in this forum. And he has seniority. What am I to do? I can either defect to a forum that discusses the intricacies of tiddley-winks, or I can submit to his commands. What shall I do?

(in reply to scout1)
Post #: 781
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 3:49:13 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		Perhaps he can command me to be more attractive, handsomer and more intelligent than I have been in the past. I would make every attempt to comply. He might order me to be more clever and make better jokes than I have in the past.
I'm not sure that is even possible but I will endeavor to comply.

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Post #: 782
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 3:51:57 AM   
geofflambert


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From: St. Louis
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Zorch


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

I know what Lecivius was complaining about. It was this: http://www.omaha.com/news/world/italian-sailor-uses-mouth-to-mouth-to-revive-kitten/article_6220e147-8fcb-5ef0-9314-af7fa3eb4fb1.html

I'm sorry but this is an unacceptable preversion by an Italian prevert. When I was a boy scout, they taught us that before giving mouth-to-mouth you were to take a needle and pin the subject's tongue to his lip to keep him from swallowing his tongue and choking to death on it (a needle and thread were a part of our kit we were to have on our persons at all times). Then you were to blow hard into his mouth while holding his nostrils shut three times. Next you were to do chest compressions for about 5 to 10 times (I don't remember how many). Nowadays they say skip the mouth to mouth and just do chest compressions. If the guy swallows his tongue and you don't blow it back out with your compressions, you're not pressing hard enough. This Italian sailor endangered this poor little kitten's life by engaging in this preverted desire to do something French in its mouth. I would be militating for charges to be filed against him, but somehow the kitten survived. I will now be able to feed a live kitten to one of my lady gorn friends.

Every time I hear "prevert", I think of Dr. Strangelove and the following immortal line...





Keenan Wynn, an irreplaceable resource.

(in reply to Zorch)
Post #: 783
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 4:05:05 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
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From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		Remember, Major Bat Guano thought that Peter Seller's character Group Captain Mandrake was a prevert simply based on his British accent. Now, while I am somewhat sympathetic with Group Captain Mandrake, I am confident that we have allowed far too many Britishers to migrate to our continent. We must establish limits. All our news currently is pronounced with an English accent. This state of affairs cannot be allowed to continue. We've had enough problems with Canadians crossing our borders, they can pass as US most of the time. But all these Brits showing up in our media is a bridge too far.

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Post #: 784
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 4:09:46 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
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Status: offline 		Where the heck is Warspite1 when I need him?

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Post #: 785
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 8:52:55 AM   
sprior


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quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

Where the heck is Warspite1 when I need him?


Reading the news?

_____________________________

"Grown ups are what's left when skool is finished."
"History started badly and hav been geting steadily worse."
- Nigel Molesworth.



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Post #: 786
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 1:53:22 PM   
Lecivius


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RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 1:53:42 PM   
Lecivius


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Status: offline 		I feel better now

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Post #: 788
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 4:07:24 PM   
BBfanboy


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Joined: 8/4/2010
From: Winnipeg, MB
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quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

Remember, Major Bat Guano thought that Peter Seller's character Group Captain Mandrake was a prevert simply based on his British accent. Now, while I am somewhat sympathetic with Group Captain Mandrake, I am confident that we have allowed far too many Britishers to migrate to our continent. We must establish limits. All our news currently is pronounced with an English accent. This state of affairs cannot be allowed to continue. We've had enough problems with Canadians crossing our borders, they can pass as US most of the time. But all these Brits showing up in our media is a bridge too far.


Sez the guy with the very sheepish, but British last name! Maybe you lost your accent because your ancestors converted to Gornism and couldn't enunciate as well with their thick forked tongues? But never mind - those tongues had to be good for other things ....

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

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Post #: 789
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 8:16:28 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		Sez Nanook of the North. I think you can find variations of "Lambert" throughout Western Europe. I've seen Lambrecht and Lambertini for instance. You see it in France too, but England and France had a long incestuous relationship anyway. My father's family was from there and my mother's from Wales.

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Post #: 790
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 8:50:11 PM   
Zorch

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

Where the heck is Warspite1 when I need him?

Warspite is representing great Britain in Rio! Note his clever disguise.




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Post #: 791
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 10:28:53 PM   
Zorch

 

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

Remember, Major Bat Guano thought that Peter Seller's character Group Captain Mandrake was a prevert simply based on his British accent. Now, while I am somewhat sympathetic with Group Captain Mandrake, I am confident that we have allowed far too many Britishers to migrate to our continent. We must establish limits. All our news currently is pronounced with an English accent. This state of affairs cannot be allowed to continue. We've had enough problems with Canadians crossing our borders, they can pass as US most of the time. But all these Brits showing up in our media is a bridge too far.


Sez the guy with the very sheepish, but British last name! Maybe you lost your accent because your ancestors converted to Gornism and couldn't enunciate as well with their thick forked tongues? But never mind - those tongues had to be good for other things ....






Attachment (1)

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Post #: 792
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 10:33:15 PM   
witpqs


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From: Argleton
Status: offline 		Gorn with no accent: "Grrrrr!"

Gorn with an accent: "Grrrrr, eh?"

_____________________________

Intel Monkey: https://sites.google.com/view/staffmonkeys/home

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Post #: 793
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 10:41:50 PM   
Zorch

 

Posts: 7087
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Status: offline 		And who could forget Tracey Reed? She would have been in the mine shaft for sure...

(This post really should be in the Australian Beauties thread but Warspite will never find out.)




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< Message edited by Zorch -- 8/9/2016 10:44:18 PM >

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Post #: 794
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 11:17:03 PM   
geofflambert


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quote:

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Gorn with no accent: "Grrrrr!"

Gorn with an accent: "Grrrrr, eh?"


Sometimes when I'm on rescue missions to ships in deep space (being a pirate) I go "Arrrrrrrrrgh).

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Post #: 795
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 11:19:30 PM   
geofflambert


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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC_PR7YWQOc

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Post #: 796
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/9/2016 11:24:26 PM   
geofflambert


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Status: offline 		Did you hear flippin' Robert Newton pronounce "amen"? "Arrrrmen"

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Post #: 797
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/10/2016 12:20:05 AM   
BBfanboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

Sez Nanook of the North. I think you can find variations of "Lambert" throughout Western Europe. I've seen Lambrecht and Lambertini for instance. You see it in France too, but England and France had a long incestuous relationship anyway. My father's family was from there and my mother's from Wales.


Gadzooks - I've been Lambasted!

Don't ever tell your mother she was from England!
Saying "Britain" is marginally OK since it is more inclusive.

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

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Post #: 798
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/10/2016 12:29:52 AM   
BBfanboy


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quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

Did you hear flippin' Robert Newton pronounce "amen"? "Arrrrmen"

Ahrrr yes! Isaac Newton's more interesting brotherrr. The world is truly a betterrr place because of his contributions to pi-rate portrayal! Wouldn't youse agreeeeee?

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

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Post #: 799
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/10/2016 1:56:29 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
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From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		Do you think we can get Alfred to do a "Talk like a pirate" thread? I want to be sure I'm doing it right.

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Post #: 800
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/10/2016 2:21:16 AM   
scout1


Posts: 2899
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From: South Bend, In
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quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert


quote:

ORIGINAL: scout1


quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

What if the two brothers and two sisters had the same two parents who happened to be fraternal twins? I was born in West Virginia, I've heard of things like that.


If you were truly born in WV, you would have used the correct description "West By God Virginia"
Those of us born there, know this .......


Oh no. There's more than one gorn in this forum. And he has seniority. What am I to do? I can either defect to a forum that discusses the intricacies of tiddley-winks, or I can submit to his commands. What shall I do?



Chuck Yeager was from West By God Virginia and he twern't a Gorn .... Though his flight suit was green ......

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Post #: 801
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/10/2016 6:47:49 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		What the effing eff is this crap? Option one: set BING as your default search engine. Option two: set BING as your default search engine.
Option three: there is no option 3, just surrender to Microsoft you pusillanimous piece of dreck.






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Post #: 802
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/10/2016 6:50:33 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		At least I can always change my settings to go eff myself! From the tools menu. I actually get to choose the tool I get to use to go eff myself! How effing convenient!

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Post #: 803
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/10/2016 6:57:59 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		I reported this to Microsoft as a scam. In every field I could type in I typed "stop trying to force me to use BING". One field that wanted to know how much I paid for the bogus service in the scam said I could only use 25 characters, so instead of saying "stop trying to force me to use BING" I typed "BING sucks!". Hooray for the little man, er, little gorn!

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Post #: 804
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/10/2016 7:12:31 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		At least they promise to stop websites from "silently" changing my settings. They can silently change my setting to Barbados if they like. I turn my sound off anyway so I don't have to listen to all those m - effing ads. Oh gee, I can click on "go eff yourself" to learn more. How nice they are. Killing me Microsoftly with their song.

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Post #: 805
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/10/2016 8:07:01 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		Here's a little story about rhubarb. If you're not familiar with it you should take any opportunity to try some rhubarb pie. Some people like rhubarb/strawberry pie but I like it straight up and with a graham cracker crust best. Two times in recent years I have tried to grow some without success. You buy rhubarb roots and plant those. Every few years you have to divide the roots and replant the parts (if you wish), otherwise they get too big for the area you planted them in. Anyways, the first year I planted six roots and only one came up, and after awhile it just withered. That year we had six weeks where every single day the temperature peaked over 100°F. I tried watering them with refrigerated water but it did no good. The next year I tried again and that time all six I planted came up but then it got blazing hot and they all withered. When I was a kid my mother grew rhubarb in the back yard. Now the leaves are somewhat toxic but the stems, which resemble celery but most varieties are red, are wonderfully tart and sweet and nobody doesn't like rhubarb. We had a dachshund named Ginger who once tore one of those poisonous leaves off a plant and we all took off after her, chasing her around the yard worried that she'd be poisoned. If she ever had any interest in consuming the leaf it was immediately superseded by the great fun of getting everyone to chase her. From then on, anytime she got off her chain or her leash the same mini-drama would take place. Anyways, if I were ever going to make a pie that wasn't straight rhubarb I would try mixing it with Granny apples, not strawberries.

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Post #: 806
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/10/2016 8:38:49 PM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
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From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		That year of the six weeks; I usually grew okra every year. Okra pods are edible before they mature, tender and perfect for gumbo. If you don't harvest them in time they collect more and more cellulose and are like wood, and completely unedible. That year of the six weeks I grew okra but there was never any point where the pods were not wooden. One thing I know of that you can grow and it will thrive no matter how hot it gets are peppers (I don't know about bell peppers, never have tried to grow those) and jalepenos in particular just get bigger and fatter the hotter it is. In case you're not aware, green bell peppers, they're no different from red ones or yellow ones except for one thing: they aren't ripe. They're crunchier and have that powerful chlorophyll taste because they're not ready yet. Fancy that. Here's something most of you probably don't know: Take red cabbage. The stuff that is in the red cabbage (and most other vegetables that are red) that makes them red performs the same task that chlorophyll does in all those vegetables that are green and is a chemical relative, maybe a second cousin, of chlorophyll. Same with red algae and many other things.

One year I did plant poblano peppers but, while adequate, did not compare in quality or size to the ones you can buy in the stores hereabouts.


< Message edited by geofflambert -- 8/10/2016 8:52:02 PM >

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Post #: 807
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/11/2016 1:32:40 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		For those of you who are familiar with Lucille Ball, her hometown (or somebody) commissioned a sculpture of her.
I saw a pic of this sculpture some years ago and could not ascertain what if any resemblance it had with our Lucy.
The only reason I don't compare her visage to that of my gorn mother-in-law is while there is some resemblance, the sculpture is of a creature far uglier even than her.

So, just in case you are not familiar with Lucy, the pic on the left really looks like her and is beautiful. The pic on the right is of some deportable alien.






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Post #: 808
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/11/2016 1:50:50 AM   
geofflambert


Posts: 14863
Joined: 12/23/2010
From: St. Louis
Status: offline 		This is a better image of her by far




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Post #: 809
RE: OT Things to ponder - 8/11/2016 3:36:17 AM   
BBfanboy


Posts: 18046
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From: Winnipeg, MB
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quote:

ORIGINAL: geofflambert

For those of you who are familiar with Lucille Ball, her hometown (or somebody) commissioned a sculpture of her.
I saw a pic of this sculpture some years ago and could not ascertain what if any resemblance it had with our Lucy.
The only reason I don't compare her visage to that of my gorn mother-in-law is while there is some resemblance, the sculpture is of a creature far uglier even than her.

So, just in case you are not familiar with Lucy, the pic on the left really looks like her and is beautiful. The pic on the right is of some deportable alien.






Hmmmm - that deplorable alien on the right does look pretty Gornish!

_____________________________

No matter how bad a situation is, you can always make it worse. - Chris Hadfield : An Astronaut's Guide To Life On Earth

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Post #: 810
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